Chapter 16: I’m From The Government And I’m Here To Help

Moving into November, life proceeded along at a normal pace and The Club-Club continued on as an increasingly viable destination for entertainment in the Treasure Valley. Lynn began getting requests from bands to be booked as they passed through going between Denver and Salt Lake, Seattle, and Portland. We booked many, but did not give them ‘friend’ status.

In mid-November, however, the guy that I dived on from the stage did decide to sue me and the Club for damages and medical expenses. My lawyer and I met with him and his lawyer at his lawyers’ offices. After his lawyer laid out their point of view, that I had overstepped my bounds and reacted in too forceful a manner, and made their strategy clear, that they wanted every penny I had, I had enough. I looked at my lawyer and stopped the conversation.

“Look, let’s look at this in a very cool and neutral manner. I think that you have every right to sue us. I really do. However, I want to make it very, very clear that I have the right to protect my family. I’m not even talking about the business; I am talking about my wives. And our children. So, if your suit causes any harm to my wives or sons or daughters, the hell I rain on you will be incalculable.”

“Mr. O’Dell is that a threat of physical violence?” His lawyer chuckled like he thought I was joking.

“Yes, absolutely. Did I not make myself clear?”

The lawyer looked stunned, as did mine.

“So, you are trying to intimidate my client from going forward with this suit, by threatening him?”

“No. I said that I believe that he has the right to sue, and I really do, and I have the right to protect my family. If you should continue, I will get hauled into court and that, sir, will shine an unwarranted light on my family that I do not want shone, and that may cause irreparable harm to my family.”

I continued in an unemotional manner.

“You, sir, assaulted, and struck, my wife, Lynn O’Dell. And then, when our wife, Blossom O’Dell, stepped in to defend her wife, you struck Blossom as well. Then, our wife, Erin O’Dell, stepped in to protect both of our wives and she punched you in the face and broke your nose. You then struck her in the face. That was the point where I dove on you from the stage and generally messed you up and caused some of your injuries, as well as my own.”

“Wait. My client hit three women?” His lawyer

“Actually, your client hit my three wives. From what I read in your suit, he is suing me because of the force I used protecting my wives.” I stated.

“No one can have more than one wife in the US.” The lawyer said.

The lawyer had not done his homework. He was obviously out of his league or was dealing with his client’s lack of honesty in presenting his side of the incident. My lawyer stepped in to educate his colleague.

“Mr. O’Dell, Lynn O’Dell, Erin O’Dell and Blossom O’Dell are united in a legally binding civil union. The copies of their contracts are in the brief we submitted to you. My client has children with each woman, and they live together and own and operate The Club-Club. They are not married under the laws of the State of Idaho or the United States, but they are married in the way they live their lives.”

My lawyer looked at me as I nodded in total agreement with his assessment.

“Look, we don’t make a big deal out of it because we don’t want to draw attention to ourselves. We want to be left alone and to that end we leave others alone, until we have to draw a line and take a stand to protect ourselves when threatened.” I added.

“My client has not threatened your family.” The lawyer was adamant.

“Correct. However, if your lawsuit should draw the attention, of say, the Department of Family Services, to my family and if it should cause our children to be taken from us, you would be dead before the ink dries on the DFS order. You started this, and I am going to finish it, either by talking to you in a logical manner or by ending you if my family is damaged. Look, I am not going to hold any bad feelings over your assaults on Lynn and Blossom O’Dell. Your retaliating on Erin O’Dell for her breaking your nose is understandable, sort of, but she gave as good as she got.”

“You realize that what you are doing, right now, is against the law in many ways, right?” His lawyer tried to sound like he held the high ground.

“Yes, absolutely I do. But in any case, if my family, my wives or my children, are injured, your client is in deep trouble. There will be retribution from either my wives, or our friends. If I am sent to prison because of this conversation, he is in trouble. If DFS breaks up my family, he is in more trouble. If DFS takes my children away from their mothers, he is dead.”

The young lawyer and his client looked at me, then at my lawyer. My lawyer wasn’t expecting me to say what I did, but had a great poker face. No one spoke so I continued.

“If he drops the suit, he walks away with a broken nose and a concussion and a few other injuries. I walk away with a concussion. Lynn O’Dell walks away with a black eye and bruises on her face and neck. Blossom O’Dell walks away with a swollen jaw and a bruised face. Erin O’Dell walks away with a black eye.”

“Wait, those were the injuries to your wives?” His lawyer asked.

“Yes. They all want me to rip you a new one. Erin wants to meet you in a dark alley and take after you with those pointy toed boots she kicked your ass with. I, on the other hand, am trying to be reasonable. You were partying and a bit drunk. It was a good evening gone bad.” I said.

“You said nothing to me about drinking and assaulting women.” His lawyer was now shaken

“It didn’t seem to matter at the time.” The young man was now aware that he had made an error, and his lawyer tore into him.

“It didn’t seem to matter? It fucking matters! First, regardless of what Mr. O’Dell says, you are in the wrong and you will lose this lawsuit. But as I understand it, and correct me Mr. O’Dell if I am wrong, regardless of you winning or losing the lawsuit, if DFS or any other agency should cause harm to Mr. O’Dell’s unique family situation, you are a fucking dead man.”

“Well said. But understand that is not what I want. I don’t wish any harm to anyone.”

“If I win and no one bothers his family?” The guy was looking for an out.

“Then you win.”

“But, as a good lawyer, you should let your client know that as witnesses, my three wives will all have to identify themselves and testify that they were assaulted outright or in the act of defending one of their wives. That could bring scrutiny from any number of state authorities, it could even involve DFS looking at our family. And that could result in bad things for all of us.”

“Yup.” His lawyer summed up my statement succinctly. “John, I advise you to drop the suit.”

This was the first time I had any idea of the guy’s name.

“Because he threatened my life?” John seemed to be getting his back up.

“No, because you are a dick, and you hit three women in front of witnesses ... and because he, or his wives or their friends, will not be happy with you, if you draw attention to their situation.”

John sat quietly and thought over his options. So many of the options he could foresee ended with him potentially being in bad shape or worse. As he looked at me sitting across the table, he saw a calm and resolute man. He saw no signs of bravado. I was being very matter of fact about the whole deal and that sent a shiver up his spine.

“Ok. I’ll drop the suit.”

“Thank you, John. I really appreciate it.” I said and offered my hand.

“Mr. O’Dell, I am sorry. As my lawyer said, I was a dick and I was drunk on my ass and I did some really stupid shit.” He explained as he shook my hand. “I only filed the lawsuit because of my parents. They pushed me to do something about being attacked. I told them that I was attacked because I didn’t want them pissed at me. I hope that you and your wives will forgive me and that you will allow me back into your bar. It is a great place. I swear that I will be the best customer you will ever have.”

“John, I accept your apology. And just to show that there are no hard feelings, if your lawyer will send my lawyer your medical bills, I will pay them. And you are welcome back in the club anytime, assuming that you will not accost my wives or any other customers.”

“Really?”

“Yes. You are not an asshole now and you are reasonable. Not being a dick is a great way to live your life.”

We got up and shook hands again, after which John and his lawyer began to leave the conference room. John stopped at the door.

“Mr. O’Dell? Would someone really have killed me?”

I paused long enough to look into John’s eyes then very quietly and remorsefully I answered his question.

“Yes.”

John swallowed hard and walked away with his lawyer.

I met Lynn in the waiting room, and as we walked out to the car, she began her interrogation of me.

“Was he reasonable?”

“After I explained the facts of life to him and his lawyer, yes.” I answered quietly.

“Did you offer to pay his medical bills?”

“After he apologized ... I did.”

“He what?”

“He turned out to be a fairly nice guy who realized that he did something stupid when he was drunk. His parents pushed him into filing the lawsuit. He apologized without my having to ask. I bet if he saw you as he left, he would have fallen all over himself apologizing to you. The next time you see him at the Club don’t be surprised if he apologizes to you and Blossom and Erin. I hope the three of you react properly.”

“Really? Well then, I guess I don’t mind paying his bills.”

“Good, make sure Erin doesn’t try to get even if she sees him at the Club.”

“From the look of him that night, I think that Erin already got one up.”

We’d been walking around in a bit of a daze after the attack on our home and again after that night in the club. But after the meeting with John, and its positive outcome for all involved, everything seemed like it would settle back to normal. It didn’t.

After all, in the real world the State is Mother, the State is Father. They are doing it, whatever the hell ‘it’ is, for the children, right? Our family had been able to go along under the radar because we were a good family and nothing we did drew attention. I mean three wives and thirteen children all living under one roof as one family, will eventually get some holier than thou asshole pissed off, right? Even in an area like Boise, Idaho with its large LDS community, it could be overlooked, but not forever.

Our home had been invaded. Two men had been killed and the third intruder and I had been shot. My eldest daughter, Taylor Erin O’Dell, had been shot in the head and killed. The EMT’s came along with the police. The police took one look at the situation, and all of the kids, and called the folks at DFS, and the agency that makes sure the government is at the ready to overrule the rights of the family, visited our home. Of course, I could do nothing because I was shot and unconscious on the way to the ER.

It seemed that we had missed that storm, because after the incident, the agent from DFS recognized that we had a strong nuclear family and that our children were safe and secure and ahead of all social and educational curves. After the interviews, the DFS agent in charge cleared us with a good recommendation, and then retired. We figured that the agency would never come back around.

Two weeks after the Halloween party, the family was all in the back yard. My three pregnant wives, who were starting to show, and I, were sitting on the deck enjoying one of the last warm days in the late Fall, drinking iced tea and watching the girl’s ruckus, when the bell for the front gate rang. I got up and headed for the front door. Looking at the security TV, I saw a black SUV and a woman in a suit standing at the gate. I stopped to pull on the sweatpants and t-shirt we kept in the closet near the front door, in case I had to go outside in a hurry, before pushing the button on the intercom and speaking to our visitors.

“Hello?”

“Is this Mr. Paul O’Dell?”

“Yes.”

“This is Ms. Margaret Williams with the Department of Family Services.”

“What do you want?” I asked as flatly as possible.

“I need to talk to you.”

“Ok, talk.”

“Can I come in?” She asked, with a little too much insistence.

“No.”

“I need to talk to you about a situation that has been brought to our attention.”

“I can come to your office.”

“We would rather we come into your home.”

“We?”

“Mr. O’Dell, the Department of Family Services has received a complaint that you have an undesirable situation and are raising children in an unhealthy environment.”

“When can I come to your office with my lawyer to address this matter?”

“We would prefer to see your home situation.”

“And I would prefer that the government stays off of my property and out of my life. Give me your phone number and I will call you to set up an appointment in your office.”

“I can come back with a court order if I must.”

“That is the only way that I will allow anyone representing the government to get onto my property.”

“Very well.”

I guess she was waiting for me to say more. After a long pause I spoke again.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t hear your answer. Will you give me your phone number so that my lawyers and I can contact you? Or are you going to go straight to invading my home without allowing yourself the opportunity to get answers first?”

“I am asking you for answers right now.”

“One moment please.” I cut off the speaker and ran back to the deck.

“Everyone! DFS is here! Erin, Blossom gather up the kids and get them, and yourselves, dressed. Lynn, get dressed and get our legal papers out of the office and meet me at the front gate. I am going to go out and talk to them and stall a bit.”

I ran upstairs and pulled on a nice polo shirt and a pair of jeans. I slipped into a pair of loafers and walked out our front door and towards the front gate at a slow deliberate pace, giving my family time to dress, just in case I had to let the DFS people in. As I approached the SUV waiting in the driveway at the security gate, two men got out of the vehicle and took positions behind the woman standing by the speaker box.