Chapter 21: Feelings

Tuesday, June 04, 1996, Sanford Maine

I stretched out contentedly as I awoke to the feeling of warm sunshine upon my face; looking over to my clock, I saw that it was 8:45. I had my History exam that day at one o’clock, which was the one test that had me worried. I needed at least a solid B to satisfy my Dad’s requirement; if I received a B minus or less, there went the truck. Still, I would do my best and hope that it was good enough. My morning wood was laying rock solid across my stomach, and I needed to take a leak. I figured that I would hit the shower and kill two birds with one boner.

As I rolled over and got out of bed, I realized just how much I missed sleeping with my sister every night. It felt lonely to wake up alone. I couldn’t complain about the side benefit though, getting two wicked blow jobs from CC last night had definitely helped to even out the win-loss column somewhat. I ducked from out of my room into the hallway and grabbed myself a fresh towel before making my way into our bathroom and turning on the water, hot, just how I liked it. I got under the spray and relieved my bladder straight down the drain, which brought a chuckle as I remembered a few weeks ago when I had gotten startled, fell over, and pissed all over Amber. That had been bloody hilarious.

What a weird thing that my life had become, I thought introspectively as I soaped up. I would never have guessed that all the craziness that I suddenly found myself involved in could actually have happened to anyone, let alone me. I went from being single and lusting after CC and Linda Miller to lusting after my own sister. That had rapidly evolved into Amber and I becoming lovers, and we considered ourselves to be a couple. We took that commitment just as seriously and as fully as any married couple that truly loved each other did. Even if we needed to keep it a secret. I had just barely gotten my head wrapped around that, and then suddenly, events had just seemed to spiral out of my control.

I had saved CC from being raped and, in the aftermath, had opened my mouth in such a way that it had led to her thinking that we could be in a relationship together. I then found out, in rapid succession, that not only had CC liked me for quite a while, but that she was actually ‘in love’ with me as well. Couple that with the fact that she was badly emotionally damaged and severely vulnerable, then the final result made sense somewhat. She was clinging to me as her safety net, and when I added in my own deeply held attraction for her, then it was no wonder that I found myself in a relationship with her as well. I certainly couldn’t hurt her at this point, not that I wanted to anyway.

To make a bizarre set of circumstances even more so, my sister-lover was also in love with CC, albeit minorly so, at least according to her. Which, to be fair, though, so was I, and I was terrified about the consequences of that. Someone was going to get hurt, most likely, down the road. I also had yet to fully wrap my head around the fact that my sister got off on being a voyeur, that she actually wanted to see me in sexual acts with her best friend. Plus even more exciting for me, but something that definitely added to the situation’s strangeness overall was that Amber and CC also liked to fool around together. They had even gotten to second base with each other the other night.

Thinking about that brought back the image of them making out topless in the hot tub. That had to have been the hottest thing that I had ever witnessed in my life. My cock was instantly hard as the image formed again in my head. I guessed that I could understand a little bit more about how my sister felt when watching me and CC because watching those two kiss and touch each other’s tits had been super arousing. I really wanted to see them eat each other’s pussies. I figured that I would cum in my pants without even touching myself if that were to ever happen.

I heard Amber’s door to the bathroom open, and the giggling of two teenage girls suddenly filled the room.

“Morning, Tiger! I love you!” CC sang out.

“Morning, Davey! I love you too, big brother!” my sister said while giggling like a nutcase.

“We just need to go pee! Your sister said that it would be okay to come in, that she does it all the time. Is ... is that okay, Tiger?” CC asked hesitantly as I heard the toilet lid clang while someone started to piss.

“Yeah, sure thing. Good morning to you both too! My two favorite girls in the whole world, I love you both! And yeah, CC, we do this all the time when one of us really needs to go; we just don’t peek, is all,” I replied, silently amused at my sister’s bullshit game playing.

“CC, that’s not ALL that I said, now tell him,” Amber admonished CC while giggling even crazier.

“Amber!” CC moaned shyly.

“Tell him ... Don’t make me do it!” my sister threatened.

“Tell me what? What are you pulling this time, sister o’ mine?” I inquired.

“Nooooothing!” she giggled in sing-song. “Now tell him, CC!” she commanded as she giggled even more.

“Ow! You don’t have to pinch me!” CC screeched with a giggle. “Fine!” she huffed. “Amber told me to get naked and to get in the shower with you and ... and ... and to wash you...”

“Is that so?” I asked with a grin.

“That’s NOT all that I said, now TELL HIM, or I’ll make him spank you later!” Amber insisted with a laugh. “My exact words, mind you,” she added with another giggle.

“She ... she said to get in there and to wash you from head to toe with my tongue ... and ... and to suck your cock like a good little girlfriend and to make sure that I swallowed all of ... all of your cum ... and ... and not to ... not to spill a drop,” she said so quietly that I almost couldn’t hear her over the shower.

“Hmmm, I like that ... Why are you so shy about that, CC? I am certainly a very dirty boy, and I would definitely appreciate your tongue ... I mean your help in getting me clean...”

“See! What’d I tell ya? Of course, he wants you to get in there and be dirty with him, er help him get clean, I mean,” she exclaimed with more high pitched giggling. “I’m going to go take my shower in Mom and Dad’s room, have fun you two,” Amber chortled as she left the room.

“You, um ... really want me to do what she said, Tiger?” CC asked in a small voice as I could hear her starting to pee.

“Yeah, I got hard just hearing that, Babe! You don’t have to be shy, my little Butterfly. I want you to be with me, okay? So get your sweet little butt in here, and do exactly as my sister commanded you to. Got it?” I said while doing my best to make my voice sound seductive.

“Okay, David. I want to, I was just shy around your sister. I ... I really want to do what she told me to though ... It made me excited when she suggested it. I like it when you tell me what you want me to do, David...” she murmured breathily.

The shower curtain pulled back, and CC stepped into the tub naked. I wolf-whistled at her beauty, making her blush and look down at her feet.

“CC my Butterfly, do you not realize just how gorgeous you are? You have absolutely no clue that you’re stunning, do you? Remember the list that I wrote to you in your card last night, Baby? I truly meant every single word, love,” I said as I smiled and reached out to her.

CC glanced up at me with a shy smile, barely turning up the corner of her mouth. She looked as nervous as a newborn chick in a room full of cats.

“Do ... do you really think so, David? You seriously think that I am all those things? You really think that I am pretty?” she asked with a hopeful gaze.

I held her hands and stepped up close to her, “Yes, my Butterfly, I really do.”

“I ... I know that I am not ugly or anything, but I don’t think that I am anything special. I know that people usually like me because of my tits ... Amber, she’s the one who is really beautiful ... that’s who fits your list, not me ... I ... I love what you wrote, David, but I ... I don’t think that those things are really true. I wish they were, and I’m glad that you love me enough to say them. That means so much to me, David...”

“Cindy, look, I won’t deny that you have an awesome set of tits; it would be dumb to do so because you do; it’s a fact. But Honey, that isn’t why I love you, or even the smallest part of what makes me want to be your boyfriend. I’ve had a crush on you for two years, remember. Butterfly, your tits were nowhere near this size two years ago. So obviously, I liked something else about you way more than those...”

“Oh! I don’t think that you only like me because of my tits, David! Only OTHER boys, I know that you’re nothing like them!” she quickly gushed out.

“Okay, that’s good, Babe. I would hate to have you thinking that. I love you because of many things, and they all add up together to make a beautiful package that I can’t resist. You wanna know what I like most about you physically?”

She looked into my eyes; her soft, rich brown irises shone up at me, smokey with love and desire, yet tinged with uncertainty and fear.

“What?” she breathed as her hands tightened on mine.

“Your gorgeous brown eyes. They are so expressive. I’ve been losing myself in them for the past few days. I see the love you have for me in them; it shines out at me,” I told her sincerely.

“You ... you do?” she asked, almost in disbelief.

“Uh-huh, I do. It makes me feel really good seeing that there, Babe. Your eyes are mesmerizing. I love the gold flecks, and the brown is like polished oak; breathtakingly beautiful. So is your whole face, little Butterfly. You are seriously hot. Even if you don’t believe it, and your tits have nothing to do with it. And don’t even get me started on your smoking hot little dancer’s body. You are exquisite, Honey,” I complimented her with the complete truth as I saw it.

“You ... you really believe that, don’t you?” she asked in wonderment.

“Yes, I do. Because it’s true,” I stated simply.

She pulled me into a tight hug, pressed her naked body against mine, and kissed my chest. My cock, who must have fallen asleep for once, decided to wake up and rapidly introduced himself to CC’s pussy as he pressed up into it. I groaned as my shaft rose to become trapped between her legs. She just pressed herself tighter to me and closed her thighs on my steel rod, trapping him there against her heat.

“I’m glad you believe those things, Tiger, even if I don’t; it makes me feel good. I love you so much, David, that it makes my heart feel like it’s going to burst. I just want to be the best girlfriend that I can be for you. I get scared that I won’t be good enough or that you’ll find someone better than me...”

“Hey, Cindy. I have no interest in finding anyone else, none at all. That I can promise you, Babe. I love you too, Cindy Carson, very much,” I interrupted.

“Can ... can I tell you what makes me happy, David?” she asked shyly.

“Of course, sweetie. You can always tell me anything, anything at all, okay?”

“I ... I ... I really like it when you tell me what to do ... It makes me feel like you’re taking care of me ... Especially ... especially like how you did last night... “ she trailed off as she pressed her face tighter into my chest in embarrassment.

“I know, and I really like that, Cindy. It turned me on ... a lot. I want you to promise me something though, something very, very important to me,” I said with a serious voice.

“Okay, David. I’ll do anything for you,” she whispered huskily.

“I want you to promise me that you’ll never do anything that you don’t want to do. I am very serious about that. I love you, and I mean it. I don’t want you to EVER do ANYTHING that you don’t want to do. It would hurt me greatly if I ever found out that you did, more than you’ll ever know. So please, promise me,” I beseeched her as I pulled back from her enough to lift her chin to stare into her eyes.

“Okay, David. I promise,” she breathed as her eyes searched mine without blinking.

“Good, that means a lot, Babe. I never want to hurt you, so by giving me your promise, I will feel better about what we do. Understand?” I asked.

“Yes,” she smirked sexily up at me just then as understanding flooded her mind. “So do you still want me to wash you from head to toe with my tongue, Tiger? I would like to...” she asked while reaching up to pull me down for a scorchingly hot kiss.

I broke the kiss and took a moment to catch my breath, “Hmmm, as tempting as that is Butterfly, I think that I’ll save the full-body tongue bath for another day. What I really would love is for you to wash me right now with soap, and then I am going to wash you. After that, I am going to take you to my bed, and I want you to love me with your mouth while I do the same to you. I want to taste you again. My mouth is salivating just thinking about it,” I told her firmly.

“Really!?” she squeaked happily.

“Yes, really. Did you not believe me when I said that I wanted to eat your sexy little pussy all the time before?” I asked with a grin.

CC quickly grabbed the bar of soap from the holder and swirled it on my chest, “Well, I was hoping that you did! But ... well, I was told that it was gross and that I was smelly and nasty down there...” she said meekly while looking down again.

I mentally groaned at how little she thought about her own unbelievably sexy body. She really had a horrible image in her mind about what she looked like.

“Lemme guess, that asshole Jason said that to you?” I surmised.

“Yeah ... He ... he touched me there once and then he said that I was stinky ... that all girls were smelly and that eating pussy was dirty because girls bleed from there ... He said that it was different for girls to suck on their boyfriend’s dicks because they were on the outside and could be washed easily. I heard that other guys sometimes did it for their girlfriends, though, and I really wanted to have it done to me too,” she said as she kept washing me all over. “I was so happy when you did that to me, Tiger! It was a dream come true, and it felt sooooo good! I’ve never felt that good before, like ever!”

“I’m glad CC because I loved doing it a lot. You smell wonderful down there, by the way, and your pussy tastes really sweet! I am getting crazy horny just thinking about licking you again. Plus what you did to me, Babe, like wow! You are amazing at sucking my cock, like seriously everything that you did to me last night had me in Heaven!”

“Really!? You truly mean that!?” she squeaked again.

“I truly do. I won’t lie to you, Honey,” I vowed.

“I love sucking you, a lot, like a real lot, David. I wanna do that all the time; it makes me so wet! You’re already the best boyfriend that a girl could ever hope for; I don’t deserve you,” she sighed happily as she had me turn to start washing my backside.

“That’s the thing, Cindy, and that’s what I am determined to change about you. I swear to you that one day you will think that you do deserve me, that you do deserve the best, and that one day you’ll believe the things that I wrote about you. I love you, Babe,” I told her earnestly, while a flash of guilt flew through me as I worried about the hurt that might come crashing down upon her in the future.

“You’re so sweet, David. I love you very much, and I am going to suck your cock after like it’s my very own popsicle!” she giggled as she finished up rinsing me.

“Mmmm, that sounds like a plan, Babe, but don’t you mean creamsicle?” I laughed as I took the soap from her and started washing her front.

“Mmmm, yes, I do. I love your cream, David,” she purred.

“Holy shit! You two are still in there? Must be some serious tongue action going on!” Amber said as she walked back into the bathroom.

“Hey! It’s been like five minutes! What? Did you have a speed wash down in Mom and Dad’s shower just so you could run back here and check to see if we were squeaky clean?” I asked as I laughed.

“Okay, busted!” my sister giggled. “I just wanted to make sure that CC was following her instructions properly! It’s my job as your sister to make sure that your girlfriend is treating you right. After all, you ARE my favorite brother,” she quipped as she laughed mirthfully.

“I’m your ONLY brother,” I chuckled back.

“So, have you washed my BROTHER head to toe with your tongue yet, CC?” Amber asked with a seductive drawl.

“Amber!” CC whined with embarrassment again.

“What!? It’s not like I don’t know that you love sucking David’s dick! You already told me just how wet that it got you and how that you’d never thought that you’d actually like doing it, let alone LOVE doing it. Hmmmm, did you not tell me just how much you loved swallowing my brother’s cum, Babe?” Amber teased.

I pulled CC close to me and stroked her back while giving her a reassuring smile. I couldn’t help but feel like I was caught in some weird alternate reality. There I was, holding a naked hot sexy girl against me in the shower, while my sister was just on the other side of the curtain talking about me getting my cock sucked. My hard-on was pressing straight up into CC’s belly, and her tits were flattened out against my chest in a most pleasant manner while we both listened to my sister talk about my cum. I slipped my hands down to cup her fabulous ass and gave her a squeeze. She tilted her head up to flash me a shy but super sexy smile.

“It’s just embarrassing to hear you say it out loud, is all,” CC mumbled.

“Aww, don’t be shy, Babe. David knows that you like sucking his cock, besides, of course, he loves it too! He is a GUY, after all! Don’t worry about him being upset that you tell me things, Honey. I told him that we don’t keep secrets. He’s okay with you telling me all the juicy details. You know how close we are, and if my best friend is going to be my FAVORITE brother’s girlfriend, well, I gotta make sure that you’re both happy,” Amber said, giggling still.

“Amber, you’re a nut, but I love you. She’s right CC, I don’t mind you telling Amber anything. I tell her everything myself anyway. We don’t keep secrets either. Us being together is new to her, new to all of us. We just need to get used to it. I certainly don’t want our being a couple to interfere with your being my sister’s best friend at all,” I said while looking into CC’s eyes.

“So you’re not mad at me, David?” CC asked as her eyes searched mine again with a hint of trepidation.

I squeezed her tightly with a hug, “Nope, not even a little bit, Butterfly.”

“I ... I thought that maybe you’d get mad that I talked to Amber about us and what I felt ... I ... I just don’t want to do anything to make you mad or to mess this up,” CC proclaimed in a whisper.

“Cindy, Babe. You gotta realize something for me, okay? I am NOT going to get mad at you for silly things, sweetie. You’d have to do something pretty awful for that to happen, okay? Please trust me to be a good boyfriend. Don’t let your experience with that dickhead ex of yours make you think that that’s how all guys are. In fact, I think that you should do your best to throw everything that happened between you two and how he treated you right out the window. He’s an asshole, and the way he was is NOT the way a normal boyfriend treats someone he cares about. I would never treat you like he did, Butterfly,” I said softly.

“I know you wouldn’t. I’m sorry ... I just get so nervous. It’s ... it’s just that for the first time in my life, I have what I have dreamed of for so long. It’s ... it’s scary in a way. I am afraid of fucking it up and losing you somehow. I couldn’t bear that, David ... I’m sorry that I’m so messed up...”

“It’s okay, CC. I’m here for you, and Amber’s here for you too. You’re not going to fuck anything up, and it’s okay to be nervous. I’m nervous too, sweetie. I’m afraid of hurting you as much as you’re afraid of ‘messing’ up, okay? We are all in this together; the three musketeers, Babe. Us against the world, okay?” I said while squeezing her ass cheeks again.

“Yeah, CC, we’re here for you, Babe! You know how much I love you, girl! I was just teasing you before. I didn’t mean to make you upset, Honey. Don’t be shy, though; it’s okay that you and my brother are going to fool around and shit. Like Davey just said, it’s all new to all of us. It’ll take some time to adjust to the fact that my best friend is with my Bro, ya know?”

“Oh, I understand that, Amber. I do. I love you too, so much! I don’t know what I’d do without you!” she vowed earnestly.

“I know you do, sweetie. I’ll leave you two be for now. I’m going to go and make us all a big breakfast. Bacon and eggs, sound good?”

“That would be very nice, Amber,” CC answered sweetly.

“Fuck yeah, Amb! I’m starving!”

“And the sky is blue, tell me something that I don’t know, Bro! Bacon and eggs it is,” Amber laughed.

I had finished washing CC’s delectable tits, and I bent down so that I could wash her feet, legs, and pussy.

“Mmmm, that feels sooo good, Tiger,” CC moaned as I reached her junction and washed it carefully.

“Yes, it does,” I responded, grinning up at her.

I finished washing her; every square inch. I thoroughly enjoyed doing so, especially the naughty bits. We got out of the shower and dried each other off before I led her to my bed. I pulled her to me, and we kissed deeply while we sprawled out on my sheets. Her body felt terrific on top of mine; I really wanted to fuck her. Her tongue and lips expertly fed my lust, and I could tell that I was feeding hers as well. After a few minutes spent feeling the soft, light touch of her hands running over my chest and shoulders, I had her swing around.

I could smell her excitement as her legs and ass manoeuvered themselves above my face. She was absolutely gorgeous to look at; it was as if she had been sculpted by a world-renown artist. Her taut rounded cheeks were the perfect shape for her body, and I could see the muscles in her thighs flex sexily as she settled into position. Her puckered little rosebud was a brownish-pink as compared to Amber’s reddish-brown one; they were both sexy as Hell. Her pussy lips were swollen and puffy, and I could see the slick moisture that was gathering at her entrance. With her legs spread apart at that angle, I could also see what must be her hymen as her lips were split open enough to give me an excellent view of her tiny hole.

“Mmmm, you look and smell delicious, my little Butterfly! I want you to cream your juices all over my face while you make love to my cock with your mouth, Baby,” I told her huskily as my breath hitched in my throat due to my high level of arousal.

I grabbed her by her sexy little butt and pulled her down onto my mouth; wasting no time with teasing, I simply licked a swath from her clit up to her asshole. I moaned loudly as I savored her sweet taste as I went. She shuddered in pleasure as she hissed her approval with a guttural moan of her own. I felt warm wetness engulf my cock head as she decided not to waste any time with teasing either.

I licked and sucked on her beautiful pussy as she moaned and slobbered wetly all over my throbbing member. Her mouth felt like a little slice of Heaven as it swallowed me time and time again. Her tongue was as soft as a silk cloth swirling gently around the head, causing me to have miniature waves of pleasure shooting through me with each twirl. I could really feel the love that she had for me with each suck, every nibble, and through the gentle touch of her hand as she stroked my shaft.

Again I marveled at the stark contrast between CC and my sister. Amber was more carnal. Even when performed slowly and gently, her lovemaking was still raw somehow and ‘loud’ if you could use that word as an appropriate descriptor. It was always aggressive underneath the surface; her passion was white heat.

Whereas Cindy was gentle and sweet, her passion was a smoldering burning ember. She molded to my need and desire; her love was of a more giving nature. She was softer, more like a sweet whisper rather than a loud declaration like my Amber was. I imagined that if I was ever to make love to her, she would exude giving rather than taking. I bet that even if we fucked hard that it would still be an act of lovely surrender instead of two beasts clashing for dominance.

It was fascinating how different they were, and I wanted them both. However, I felt that I was doomed by loving them; the premonition of impending disaster wouldn’t go away. I felt my love for Cindy growing with every passing hour that we spent together. I knew in my heart that it would still never equal the depth of emotion that I had for Amber, but I did think that it could get closer to that level than I had previously thought possible. I wondered how much of that was because she was like an injured bird whose wing I was determined to repair.

I tried to shove my aimless musings to the back of my head as the writhing leaking pussy that was grinding upon my mouth insisted on taking my full attention. Hearing her start to ramp up her moaning into a high pitched whine like I had experienced from her the other night, I latched onto her clit and sucked.

“Oh! OH! OH! David! I’m going to cum! OH, OH, OH! Tiger ... I’m ... I’m ... I’m CUMMMIIINNNGG UGGNNHHHNG!” she screamed as she convulsed on my face, spreading her wet juices all over my nose, cheeks, chin, and mouth.

CC didn’t quite squirt as Amber did, but she did gush a small flood of fluid out of her with each contraction; it was fascinating to watch. Her whole pelvic area clenched in repeated spasms, punctuated with bursts of sound that mewled sexily from her throat as she climaxed. It sounded like a kitten’s first meows; she was so goddamn cute! And I loved the way that her asshole winked at me as she came too. I was going to be sticking my tongue as far up that cute little pucker as I could, just as soon as she finished cumming, that was for sure.

“Oh, Tiger. You make me feel so good!” she exclaimed after she had finished her orgasm.

“Mmmm, I’m glad, my Butterfly, because it makes me feel so good to do it. Make me cum, Baby. Make me cum with your loving mouth, Honey,” I implored right before I started to lick her wonderful little ass.

“Mmmm, Okay, Tiger ... Sir,” she whispered.

Again she called me sir right after I’d given her instruction on what to do to me sexually. I had even felt the tiny shiver that coursed through her as she had said it; she must really be into being told what to do, I mused. It was kinda weird but kinda hot at the same time. I could get used to getting blown whenever I told her to, especially if she got off on that. I had visions of telling her to eat out Amber dance through my head; I groaned at the thought. I was getting super close to shooting my load; her mouth felt amazing as she bobbed up and down on my cock. Eating out her sexy little ass was bringing me even closer to a euphoric explosion; feeling her butt wiggle beneath my tongue was making my brain hazy with lust.

“Ahhh, Shit! I’m going to cum, Baby! Swallow me, Honey, swallow me. UGHHHHNNNN!” I blurted out as I paused in my licking just long enough to warn her.

I blasted a huge load down her throat as she mewled sexily and purred happily while she drank my cum.

“Come up here, CC, Baby,” I commanded after she had finished cleaning up all of my spunk from my spent dick.

I pulled her sexy body down onto my chest to cuddle, her long silky brown hair covered me like a blanket, and her cheek felt warm and comforting upon my chest. Her hand came up to lazily play with my nipple as she gave a happy sigh of contentment while laying in my arms.

“Hmmm, that was amazing, Tiger ... I love sucking you. Amber was right, you know ... I did tell her that ... I was just shy to hear her tell you, though. I’m glad that you didn’t get mad at me for talking with her. I’m just used to telling her everything. I can’t believe how good you make me feel; I never thought that sex could feel so good! I really, really wanna make love to you soon, David. I want it so bad; it’s like my pussy is aching to be filled by you...”

“I want you too, my Butterfly, very badly. I would love nothing more than to feel myself entering you and to make love to you until we cum together,” I said with lust still filling my loins. “It’s ... it’s just too fast right now, sweetheart. We need to stay where we are for now. It’s only been a few days; let’s just enjoy what we are doing,” I sighed.

“So ... if we ... if we both want to, then why can’t we, Tiger? I really love you, and I want my first time to be with someone special, David. You’re special to me, Tiger. I’m on the pill if you’re worried about me getting pregnant or something ... My Mom put me on it after I’d had a few dates with Jason. She said that she didn’t trust him even though I had told her that I wouldn’t sleep with him,” she said demurely, her desire for me thick in her voice.

“I was surprised when you had told me that you hadn’t the other day, actually. The way that he had gone on the few times that I had overheard him in the hallways at school, well, let’s just say that he made it seem like you guys were doing it,” I said with a bit of curiosity.

“Yeah, he really wanted to. I almost did a couple of times, but something inside my head kept telling me not to. He didn’t know that I was on the pill, and I told him that I wasn’t taking a chance of getting pregnant. He pressured me a lot, though. So I gave him blow jobs to make him happy; it made him stop bugging me when I did that, at least until he got horny again. Then he would just start bugging me about it all over again.