s2e3 - Aliya (30)

Series 2, Episode 3: Aliya

Coffee coloured skin, slim and sultry. She’s a Pakistani woman with long, straight, jet black hair framing a pretty face then draping over her shoulders. She has black eyes and a ring through one nostril. Her full lipped mouth is never closed, either hanging slightly open with a sexy little pout, or wide open with teeth bared as she grins/silently laughs at the slightest source of amusement.

We meet her standing outside a large restaurant, wearing (or almost wearing) a very British styled waitress’s uniform. White blouse, black knee length skirt. The uniform itself is quite respectable – perhaps a little modern for a traditional Pakistani joint – but she isn’t wearing it that way ... Her blouse is unbuttoned about as far as a ‘good’ girl can get away with, revealing a white bra and a good portion of cleavage within.

She speaks with a deep, dirty, Cockney accent that doesn’t give any hint of her ethnic heritage.

“My name is Aliya Tariq. I’m 30, I’m single, and I want to stay that way!” She smirks.

We watch Aliya in the restaurant, preparing tables – her blouse now buttoned up, straight. Neat and tidy. Occasionally saying something to another waitress or to an older man who appears to be in charge...

“I work in my family’s restaurant in Wembley in North London. It’s a nice place, and it’s a nice family. My parents have always been very supportive of me, but they really want me to get married. They’ve been putting me together with men since I was a teenager – trying to get me to marry someone respectable ... But they’ve never gone as far as to arrange a marriage. They’re better than that ... I don’t think they get that I’m not interested in the traditional life...”

We see her interacting with her mother – a very respectable, middle aged, Pakistani woman in a similar waitress outfit to Aliya.

“It’s all my mum’s fault ... She did this to me...” Aliya jokes in continued voice-over. Then we move to a close up of Aliya giving her backstory.

“When the internet was still new my mum didn’t know about clearing her browser history ... We all shared the same computer and one time I went on it after mum and the website was still open – and it was just loads of pictures of women sucking off animals and having sex with them ... Like I say she never cleared her browser history, so I checked all her regular sites and she was always looking at this stuff when we were at school ... And I liked it too. I imagined being in all those pictures, on all those videos. I asked her about it once and she said we don’t talk about these things ... So we don’t talk about it – but I think about it all the time! Not just the idea of going with an animal, but the idea of people looking at me doing it. To have pictures of me with an animal on the internet, or on the tele.”

Then we’re talking to Aliya’s mother and father in a two shot. They think we are here to talk about the problems of young Muslim women in modern western society. Their English is more typically Pakistani, broken but each word nearly pronounced in the manner of a man who didn’t live in the country for the first 20 years of their lives. Her father first, “Aliya is a beautiful girl. I ask her to get married, but she’s not interested.” Then her mother, “I tell Aliya to live her own life, and when she is ready, come to me and I find her a good husband. She does not come to me yet ... I worry that she will never look for one.” Her father, “ ... Or even worse, that she might be gay.” “She’s not gay. I know she’s not gay. It’s not ladies she likes.” “Well, we know whose fault that is!” He snaps, not even looking at his wife. She seems more interested in looking at her shoes.

Later, the restaurant is almost empty. Aliya is waving the last couple of customers out and locking the door behind them. She flicks a switch and steel roller-shutters begin to wind down over the large windows. Aliya speaks in voice-over, “My father only works until half nine or ten these days, and we don’t close until the last diners have gone home ... Which means I’m left here all on my lonesome most nights - which means I get the place to myself if I want it...”

And then it’s Aliya looking direct into camera for our signature shot, a wicked smile on her face. “My name is Aliya Tariq and tonight, I get to have sex with a dog!”

And we’re in the street outside. There’s a small crowd of men here.

We have a special treat for Aliya. It’s not just going to be the viewers at home that get to watch her in action, we’re going to give her a live audience too ... We’ve contacted fans of the show through Facebook and invited 20 of them to come along and watch live. It appears that Charley was feeling a little mischievous when she searched Facebook, and she’s only invited people who were particularly fat and ugly.

A Volksagen Passat Estate pulls up and parks outside the restaurant. Its driver is tall and wiry, with long curly hair. This is Bernard. He walks to the back of the car and opens the rear, and much to the crowd’s joy, a huge Great Dane climbs out – almost unwinding and stepping out rather than jumping, such is the length of his legs.

“This is Dino.” Bernard speaks in voice-over whilst the huge dog takes an extremely long piss against the corner of the restaurant. A river of piss running over the pavement to the gutter. “He’s a 7 year old Great Dane. I used to have my wife service him, mainly with her mouth – she said his meat hurt her parts too much for regular sex.” Bernard’s voice is dull and lifeless. “He hasn’t had another woman since she left me, but when I saw your first series I thought I should apply on his behalf, because whether she enjoyed it or not, he certainly appeared to like having sex with her.”

The chunky Zoo-fans file into the restaurant through the door which is held open by a semi-confused, but smiling, Aliya. She greets them as they pass and each of them looks her up and down. Some smile, some look her up and down, one licks his lips hungrily.

Then Bernard walks Dino through the doorway and Aliya’s eyes almost pop out. “What the fuck is that?” She exclaims with a smile. She closes the door behind them all, locks it. We’re all alone now – just 20 fat men, a camera crew, a huge dog, his owner, and a pretty brown girl who’s about to do something disgusting for us all.

Aliya strokes the huge dog, bends forward to put her arms around his huge neck. His head is bigger than hers. “I thought you was bringing a dog – not a bloody horse!” She laughs.

Does that scare you?

“Noooo ... It turns me on ... If you’re going to do something dirty, you might as well do something really dirty.” She turns to Bernard. “How ‘big’ is it?” She nods under the huge dog’s belly.

“I don’t know, I’ve never measured it ... But it’s big ... My wife could barely take it.” Says Bernard.

“Sounds like my kind of cock!” Jokes Aliya. She turns to the camera crew. “Should we get started? Can we... ?”

She kicks off her shoes, then she’s unbuttoning her blouse, removing it. Coffee coloured flesh, nice smooth and deep cleavage provided by a white Wonderbra, a flattish belly. Skirt next, unzipping at the back, then letting it slip to the floor.

The room is silent. Charley only invited single men. None of these fat boys have seen a naked woman in the flesh for years.