Chapter 37

2018

“That was nice,” said Nathan.

“Yes,” I said. “Thanks for picking up the tab.” He shrugged.

“Not a problem. Yes, you could have done it; you’re rich too, but I needed to do something; and well, it was little enough,” he said. “You and Flo?”

“Good. We’re good. We need each other. And yes, we’re doing okay health-wise, well, so far anyway,” I said.

“Good, good,” he said. “And you and us?” I knew what he meant: him and Victoria. I shrugged again.

“Okay, there are moments...” I said.

“Hmm, I guessed as much. She does care about you, John; she does,” he said. “And just as important, she wants you and Flo to be happy.”

“I guess,” I said. “There’s just a lot of stuff to get by and deal with even now. But, Flo and I are tight and into each other. Tell your woman that. I want her to feel good about stuff.”

“You need to be by more, maybe even move back here,” he said. “I mean 250 miles!” he said.

“Nathan, if I did, I just know that I’d be constantly afraid something else would happen, go wrong. It’s my lot in life to be fucked over and that’s the bottom line,” I said, “and I do mean by her, maybe inadvertently anymore, but I’m sure it would happen. I know she disses me to you if nobody else, even now; I can smell it, and it hurts!”

“John...” he said.

“Tell me with a straight face that she doesn’t. Be honest with me. I need you to be honest with me,” I said. He sighed.

“She doesn’t diss you, or Flo, not the way you mean. But...” he started.

“But,” I said.

“She does complain, I guess would be the way to say it. She thinks you’re an asshole for moving to Bullhead, her exact words actually. She wants you here, so that she can make things right with you, or at least try to. She knows you don’t trust her, and she understands why. But she is desperate to do something anything to make things right,” he said. “And, as for Flo, she wants to have her as an ally to get to you and make you like her again, and—well—trust her again. It’s important to her, all of it.” I nodded.

“Well that’s a catch-twenty-two isn’t it,” I said.

“Not really, man, just move the hell back and let her do her penance,” he said. I snickered.

2018

Six months being married and having sex, well, not every night, but three and four nights a week, and yes, we did employ the trojans; they may have lost to Achilles and the Greeks, but they were winners as far as Flo and I were concerned.

We lay side by side seriously drained.

“So, you actually want us to consider moving back to Phoenix,” said Flo.

“Yes, and it is us, the both of us doing the considering,” I said, “not just me.” She nodded.

“It’s okay by me. It’s you that’s got the history to think about,” she said.

“But, I want your input, advice,” I said, “I need it.”

“Honey, I really can’t see any downside to us moving back to the city, well, there is the traffic, but apart from that...” she said.

I was nodding. “Well, okay then. I guess I’ll call and make the man happy,” I said, “and yes her too I suppose.”

“I’m hungry,” she said. “Let’s go out.”

“It’s kind a late, but okay. The Sand Bar has pizza that’s pretty good. Oh ... but you gotta let the kids know we’re going out.”

“Okay, I will, and good,” she said.

“I’m glad we came here,” I said. “I always feel welcome here.”

“Me too,” she said.

“Honey bunch, you look pensive,” I said. She looked up at me. She was clearly making up her mind as to the wisdom of saying whatever it was she was thinking.

“Do you still think about her. I mean the way you’re not supposed to be thinking about her?” she said. I sighed.

‘Truthfully, I’m not sure which I guess means no,” I said. “I guess what it is, is that I sometimes worry that I might. But to answer your question directly, no,” I said. She nodded.

“Okay, thank you for being honest with me. I guess that’s why you’ve been so reticent to move back to Phoenix,” she said.

“Partly, I suppose,” I said.

“Partly?”

“Yes,” I said. “The problem with my daughter, and Nathan and his gift giving, and memories of Henrietta: It’s a lot of things.”

“Honey, you and I are one now. We, the both of us, need to focus on each other. I’ve got some bad memories too. And, now I, we’ve, got this disease that could kill us and not in a good way. Neither of us need to be worrying about things that have no direct impact on us. And, I do mean including Victoria especially,” she said. I nodded.

“You’re right. You are absolutely right. Resolution: Victoria and the rest are for sure history. From now on the focus, as you phrase it, will be on us and the kids,” I said.

“Good,” she said.

“Yes, I got the word today. The man called me not an hour ago,” said Nathan. “And, Victoria, not a negative or tentative word or phrase from you about it!”

“No, sir, no such thing is going to come out of my mouth or even occur to me to think about,” she said.

“Good,” he said.

“Selena’s coming over in a few. Jack’s working, but she has the day off. I think we’ll be shopping, not sure,” she said.

“Okay, good,” he said. “You can give her a heads up about our man too.”

“I will do so,” she said.

“So, he’s back then,” said Selena.

“Yes, thank God. It has been a serious nut going up there to Bullhead once a month,” said Victoria. Her daughter nodded.

“Was it his idea or Flo’s to come back,” she said.

“Don’t know, but I know your dad, your other dad, has been pressuring him—mildly—to come back here. So, I guess it may have been different things, reasons,” said Victoria.

“Hmm,” said Selena.

“He, they, bought a condo in Chandler. Says there is less traffic down there. It’s still thirty miles down the street, but that’s a helluva lot better than 250 miles,” she said.

“Hmm, for sure,” said Selena. “Have you had a chance to talk to them since they returned?”

“No, no not in person, but I will this weekend. I invited myself over there, just today as a matter of fact, and the man okayed it,” she said. “Can I come?”

“Don’t see why not,” she said. “You are his kid. I’m sure he’d like to see you.”

“Okay, you can pick me up. But it has to be Sunday; I’m working Saturday.” Her mother nodded.

“That’ll work,” she said. “I’ll let them know.”

“Yes, do, I haven’t seen daddy but a couple of times in the last several months, and then only because he and Darrell had organization stuff to do down here. I guess they have to do all of the arranging for care and doctors and all here in the big town,” said Selena.

“Yes, I think that’s so. I’ve heard your dad talking to the two of them about it,” said Victoria.

“They’re here; the buzzer’s buzzing,” said Flo.

“I’ll get it,” I said. I pushed the button opening the door downstairs for them. Having money made things easier. But, knowing they’d, she’d, be coming up made me nervous, it always did, inevitably did. I had to remind myself of my promise to my wife to focus on us not the woman or anything else from the past that was negative.

I went and opened the door ahead of the elevator arriving and left it open. It was still early in the day, 9:15 a.m. and I knew from past history that Victoria at least would be wanting coffee. I decided to put a new pot on—call me mister nice host, and thoughtful.

The two of them came in. “Anybody home?” she said, coming up to me and planting a kiss on my cheek. Selena did the same following her mom’s example.

“Yes, we’re home pretty much as usual,” said Flo coming in from the back bedroom. Our dinette was separate from the kitchen, and we adjourned there.

Everybody got their own coffee. Only Selena added anything to it: I’d learned in more recent times that she drank candy not coffee like the rest of us. Wasn’t sure about Jack: we really didn’t see him all that much.

“So, how’s business?” said Victoria. I shrugged.

“Good, got nine in the program if that’s what you’re asking,” I said.