Chapter 36

The Grimes mansion was usually busy, but today not so much. The three principals sitting around the glass topped table in the library were somber. Still their somberness was a purposeful state at the least of it.

“So, what now,” said Victoria. Her husband shrugged.

“Daddy, my other daddy is so bitter that there is almost no dealing with it,” said Selena.

“Did he say anything about being dumped by Flo?” he said.

“No, just that he understood her doing it. Evidently, she wanted to be with the man, but not as any second in line wife. My words his meaning,” said Victoria. The man nodded.

“Daddy, he as much as said that what he’d gone through in prison made it impossible for him to forgive and forget,” said Selena.

“Not quite,” said Victoria. “Forgiveness he could do; hell, he’s done that part, but forget, not happening. And, frankly who could blame him. When he caught us, Nathan, those some twenty years ago now, the game was over. My, our, hopes to the contrary notwithstanding.”

“Mom, I talked to Jack last night after we got back. I let him in on the whole story. He says he wants to talk to the man himself,” said Selena. “He said he has an idea. He told me he went behind my back at the hospital and talked to the resident psychologist.”

Nathan Grimes looked horrified. “He didn’t tell him the untellable did he?”

“No, no, not that. But, pretty much everything besides that, I mean that relates to him and Flo,” said Selena. The big man relaxed.

“And the psychologist told him what to do, say?” said Victoria.

“Yes, I think so. He gave him an idea at the least of it,” said Selena.

“Nathan?” said Victoria.

“Yes, tell Jack to take his best shot. Heaven knows the rest of us have already run out of ammunition,” said Nathan.”

“Okay, Daddy, I’ll tell him,” said Selena.

Well, I liked the boy, and I did have an ulterior motive in agreeing to see him. I wanted to have him relay my apology to Selena and to the woman too if it came to that. I really had lost it the last time we talked, almost a week gone.

I saw him come in. The Drover wasn’t too busy: I saw that as being useful at the least of it. I still liked The Drover, they had the best burgers in the city, and I knew almost everybody that worked there even now. That said, it had been his, Jack’s, idea to meet here; the thought made me smile: thoughts of meeting my daughter for the first time since her first year of life came to mind. I wondered if he knew about that.

I waved. He saw me and came over. He plopped down. We just kind of stared at each other for some moments.

“Wanna order?” I said. If he said yes that would likely signal a long confab. If not, well, then not. The meet up was his idea not mine, that in spite of my own aforementioned agenda.

“I could eat,” he said. I signaled Doris and she arrived with her pad.

“A couple of burgers,” I said.

“Medium?” she said. I looked over at my tablemate. He nodded.

“Yes,” I said.

“It was lunchtime, but all day was coffee time for me. Jack nodded to the new girl touring the tables when she refilled my cup.

“So?” I said, as we waited for the food.

“Well, you know why I’m here,” he said. I shrugged. I really didn’t know, but I was more than certain that I was about to be informed.

“The women, your women: Victoria and Selena, are sick to death with worry about you. Nathan too if it comes to that, though he is definitely not one of your women,” said Jack.

“No, no, he’s not. He’s not nearly pretty enough for me to make a move on,” I said. My weak attempt at humor garnered a smirk from my son-in-law.

“Yes, and he’s too old for you in any event,” said Jack.

“Hmm,” I said.

“You’re in the wrong about Flo, or she is about you and Victoria, John; take your choice,” he said.

“That’s your considered judgement is it,” I said.

“Not exactly, but yes,” he said. “John you don’t love Victoria anymore. And as for Flo, I think you may have feelings for her that are still in the developing stage, but you do need a bit more time with that, your feelings, to mature.”

“Hmm,” I said. Another period of wait and see silence.

“John, it is a true thing that you love your ex-wife, but you no longer love her as you did back in the day,” he said.

“And, in your young, but I’m sure well considered judgement, you draw that conclusion why?” I said.

“You do know that I know the whole story, right?” he said. I nodded.

“Yes,” I said.

“You don’t love her, as you once did, John, because you can’t trust her. She betrayed you, and while the passion you may yet feel for the woman is strong, you can no longer be sure of her, trust her love for you. And, John, she does love you, but she does not feel good about you. She’s afraid of you. You have the power to kill her heart, John Michael Steele, because she knows she is unworthy of you; and, she fears that weakness in herself, and that same perceived weakness in you,” he said.

My son-in-law, young though he was, was making some points with his words, logical points.

“Hmm,” I said. “I can’t say you don’t make some good points here, Jack, but I have questions too, but for her ears only. I need you to do something for me if you will.”

“Name it,” he said.

“I need to talk to her again. My talk with her and Selena last week did not go well, and I want to make amends and, well, ask my questions. Do you think you could arrange for me to see her?” I said.

“Actually, I know all about your meeting last week: Selena and I talked. I came here today prepared to do just as you asked,” he said.

“Huh?” I said. He raised and arm and I watched as the woman, the woman who used to be my woman, approach. She was alone, no Selena this time.

“So, you people set me up?” I said. My tone was not entirely antagonistical, but it could have been, and on another day might yet be.

“Well, I will leave the two of you to get to it,” he said. He rose and strode off.

The woman sat down across from me, and stared. “You didn’t go off on our son-in-law, so is that a good sign?” she said.

“A good sign? Let me say that it isn’t a bad sign which is not the same thing,” I said.

“Hmm, yes,” she said. I could see her face was clouding up. She wanted to cry, but was holding back the tears or the moment.

“I was out of line talking to you the way I did last week,” I said. “I’d sworn to myself back in the day that I would never do that, but, well, I lost it,” I said.

“You were justified, John, I deserved every bit of what you said and felt. I did. I’d apologize but that would be so inadequate that, well, I won’t,” she said.

“Victoria, in talking to Jack just now, well, I realized some things. One, that boy is a lot smarter than...” I started.

“John he is a smart boy, he is. But, he didn’t come here to talk to you for us unarmed. He talked to a Psychiatrist friend of his at the hospital about the situation and figured out, found out, a few things I guess,” she said. I leaned back in my seat and smiled. I shook my head.

“Maybe I should have done something of the same years ago,” I said.

“Or maybe I should have,” she countered.

“At any rate, after talking to the boy, I realized a couple of things, and I need to get them out there,” I said.