Chapter 4

Reggie had an incredible weekend, and he did admit to me that he worked less frequently and stayed with Wonder and her lovely roommates the whole time. He said it was a lot of fun. He loved the young white women, similar to how older women easily love much younger men.

To young people, the elders commanded respect. The youth dared not question them or be insolent towards them. There’s this slow but formidable understanding that the elderly ones know of an even greater suffering than these high school kids will never feel for decades.

Imagine the feeling of getting old – or, knowing that you’re sick even though no one can see your sickness?

The kids don’t care about their health, while the old have some sort of hospital procedure or take many pills, in assorted colors, almost every day for body dysfunctions that cripple them, until they are put to rest six feet under.

Reggie admitted that he finally made it to the other side of the line. He had grown a little from staying with those blonde roommates of hers. It had been bliss while there, until Wonder said that they all had to do homework. She was right. Since Reggie had to return to the university, he had me pick him up on the white side of town.

Believe me when I say that I checked carefully for cops on stakeout. Many cars that traveled from the ‘hood, whether Cadillac Escalades or Lincoln Navigators, were reminders of the huge empire that gangland thugs had already established on the black side of town. The police, as far as they could tell, knew that these well-to-do black kids from the dangerous sections of the city bankrolled huge amounts of money for the manufacturing and the distribution of street drugs to trust-funded white people who might have already been hooked. And if a white man purchased the drugs from the Black-American dealers in their fancy cars, little did he know that the weed, the crack, the heroin usually came laced with arsenic or pesticides. A white junkie just doesn’t have the tolerance to live very long. Every moment of every day of every plan, the drug reigns supreme.

They called such drugs ‘medicine,’ now. Reggie said that he understood the term, as it is funny at first, but after a while, over the course of a generation or two, young and old alike in the ‘hood started to take the term ‘medicine’ seriously. It was no longer meant for laughter. These white, laboratory jackets that the pharmaceutical companies as well as medical institutions have in their back pockets pay these doctors exorbitant amounts. In the ‘hood, pleasurable medicines take ten bucks to pay the dealer, and ten minutes before the high ran out.

The ‘hood had another way of manufacturing its own medicine – just like the early medications of the first psychiatrists. Once again, they had stripped bare these racial epithets, then co-opted them, then used it for one type of person to make fun of the same type of person. Reggie would have never realized it, but it was something that I had to share with him.

He lives his life clumsily. He’s a dreamer. He wants racial justice, but ever since visiting Wonder, something inside him filled with unadulterated pride.

He wished for an advance on the ladder of the university – maybe a good professor one day – but for now, even the two jobs that he had, fish and school, were spreading further apart. He sided with academia, and he encouraged his father to sell the business when he came to the restaurant from the university. Even Laney didn’t want to continue with it. For once in his life his family sided with him and not with his father.

He didn’t need the restaurant to survive. His father and mother could retire and look upon their son worriedly. Laney could get any minimum wage job to help for college in a few years. And suddenly, without thinking it through, Reggie had a weekend of pleasure with Wonder. Was I jealous? Hell, no. For all of his intellectual energies, Reggie couldn’t hold out. He had to fuck it up somehow.

“Wonder is pregnant,” he said few days later as I drove him to the university. “She missed her period this month. Don’t say, ‘I told you so’ either.”

“Are you sure it’s yours?”

“Yes. I’m the only one she’s been sleeping with.

She took one of those at home pregnancy tests. It came out positive.”

“Something sounds a little funny about it. Does she want the baby?”

“She hasn’t told me yet. She’s a brave soul. She said she wanted me to go with her to her family’s house for dinner. She wants to break the news to her parents there.”

“You think you can handle something like that?”

“Who, me?”

“I don’t see anyone else in here.”

“I’m not really sure,” he said. “I mean, can you picture a black man, like me, going up to one of these mansions at the top of the hill telling her very conservative parents that I impregnated their daughter, and now I have to marry her?”

“But you do love her, right?”

“She’s a sweet and gifted soul, and that is all I can ask of the mother of my child. We were playing games a lot, but now, man, we’ve grown up a little and have to be responsible about things.”

“I’m happy for you, Reggie. A child! Holy Shit!

You hit the big time. They’ll move you up now.”

“They? Who’s they?”

“You know what I mean – the niggahs in charge, the man, the Star Chamber, Mister Charlie, all of these invisible obstacles that they’ll now take away.”

“I see – the powers that be, whether real or imagined.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, Archie, I hope you’re right. Her family might disown her from this point on, but I’m vowing to take care of her. You see, Archie, I’m in love with her. I always wanted her to be the mother of my children. If her family would just go beyond race for a little while – down to the nitty-gritty to see that we were matched by God or some higher force - then you can see that we really do belong together. I want to make Wonder a happy woman.”

“That’s good, Reggie. Good for you. Go confidently in that direction. I’m sure that her parents will be fine with it. Now what about your family? Have you told them?”

“My father’s gonna freak. That I can count on, but in the end it is what I want to do with my life that matters – not my family’s opinion.”

“When are you going to tell them?”

Reggie looked ahead to where the car headed, and then he spaced out a bit, trying to judge the future – looking at the oncoming traffic without really looking at it. Another one of his habits into mindless concentration on another topic totally different from the one at hand. I knew to keep quiet as he mulled things over.

“I’m not sure what my parents will say,” he said finally. “But if it isn’t pretty, they can go fuck themselves. They’ve used me for low-cost labor plenty enough, and while I love them, while I care about them, I don’t give a rat’s ass what they think about Wonder and me.”

I also spaced out a bit, wondering what this new, mixed couple would bring to the table.

“What about me?” I asked.

“What about you?”

“Where do I fit in with all of this?”

“You, Archie, will be my best man. Better start working on that bachelor party.”

“Me?”

“Yes, you,” said Reggie. “Even though you are a pain in the ass most of the time, you’ll always be my best friend.”

He cracked a smile at this. I, on the other hand, was immediately overwhelmed by the memory of my Rolodex and whether or not I could find a decent strip joint in the area where we would get Reggie laid before the good Lord took him away to marry Wonder-woman.

“I can tell you’re nervous already.”

“I am not,” I said.

“Of course you are. Don’t think I can’t tell. But listen, man, you do whatever you need to do – whether our bachelor party is amazing or a dud, it really doesn’t matter – just so long as you wear a nice tux for the wedding.”

I left him for a couple of days, as I developed some kind of flu that came with the new season blowing its bluster right through our heavy jackets and parkas.

But when I saw him next, he didn’t look too happy.

Instead, he looked downright pissed off at the world.

Something that happened within the last few days made him hopping mad, and automatically – almost like a reflex – I asked him, “why do you look so pissed off.

Did something happen?”

“You bet something did,” he said under his breath.

“What’s going on? I did reserve a few tables at the strip joint for next week. That ought to be fun, right?”

And then he told me – every last detail. It shocked the hell out of me.

What had happened nearly turned my stomach, and I had nothing of value to remedy what had happened. But he went over it in careful detail. After all, that’s where we find the Devil – under mountains of details.

The marriage had been cut off, I learned.

“But why?” I asked.

Just a couple of days ago, Wonder met Reggie in class, as usual. They then made plans to meet her family for dinner – a very important one, since Wonder had to tell her parents that she’d be marrying Reggie.

“I’m really nervous,” she said after class – her blonde hair making its way passed her shoulders. She looked beautiful as she said this, and Reggie moved into the conversation with a great attitude and wonderful optimism.

“Don’t be nervous,” he said, hugging her by the waist. “We’ll be just fine.”

“But I’m still nervous. What if they throw me out of the house? What if they disown me?”

“Then we’ll take care of our family ourselves,” said Reggie boldly.

“But we don’t have any money. Where would we sleep?”

“Maybe we can stay with your roommates for a while.”

“They’d never do such a thing for us. I love them to death, but we can’t possibly move in there.”

“Already you’re over-thinking and over-analyzing.

We haven’t even sat down to dinner with them yet.

You’re retreating in defeat, and nothing has happened yet.”

“Sorry. I hate to be such a worry-wart.”

He held her tightly after the class had been dismissed. They hugged each other behind the teacher’s desk, the dull gray shadow of a lecture casting itself on the silver nylon of the pull down screen behind them.

The silhouette captured their hug as shadow outlines drifted into a steely gray.

“It will all be fine. I’ll make sure to put on a tie and jacket for the occasion.”

Reggie then rushed to the restaurant to continue his dish-washing duties, but he asked to be let out early. He had been waiting and thinking, thinking and waiting, for the shift to be over. He would leave on the early side.

“And where do you think you’re going?” asked his father at the end of the dinner rush. “You still have to close.”

“I can’t right now, Dad. I’ve already made plans for tonight.”

“Oh, good,” he smiled. “I take it you and Bianca are getting along?”

“Everything’s fine, Dad.”

“Good for you, my boy. Keep it up. I’ll get Laney and Mother to help with the closing. You just focus on having a good time is all.”

“Sure, Dad. Anything you say.”

After work – and as always – smelling as though he just emerged from the bowels of a fishing boat, Reggie went to Wonder’s apartment. There he showered and shaved, and even used some of the nice cologne that Wonder bought for him – a knock off of Polo. It surprised him that Wonder, her tight, nude body floating through the shower door, joined him under the pulsing hot water. They made love there, mostly to calm their nervous fears, because in many ways, they had a right to be scared and also the right to be relieved of it.

After all was said and done, the couple dressed meticulously. Wonder had purchased the new suit that Reggie would wear, and for Wonder herself, she put on a lovely evening dress, jet black, with high heels to adorn her feet. When they both looked in the large, oval mirror of the bathroom, both agreed that they looked as dashing and as sophisticated as possible.

They hoped to make a real impression that together they would go far as a couple, as though such a couple, born of different colors, could actually maintain solvency by being involved at the university – as though the university endorsed them as a couple of fiery intellectuals who would make it passed all of the racial boundaries just so long as they looked like an intellectually-geared couple with the university to accept and protect them. Reggie even thought that he should inform the local newspaper of their marriage.

They looked that good.

Nevertheless, as they neared Wonder’s parents home in the exclusive area of the town, both couldn’t help but feel nervous about meeting her parents. Wonder had spoken highly of them – that they weren’t racists at all and wouldn’t care if the young couple married, just making sure that Wonder was happy with the arrangement.

“Don’t be nervous,” she whispered to Reggie, holding his hand tighter.

They stood in front of a wooden door typical of the more expensive pillared mansions just outside the city.

They had roots in the South after all, and they both yearned to get the damn thing over with. Reggie was incredibly moved by the size of their home. He thought it an illustration Winslow Homer would have liked to paint. In fact, all the homes were quite large in the area, each with second floor balconies and the body of the homes pushed back near the edge of the woods behind it. Even the door knocker was made of gold, the name ‘Robins’ engraved into the polished surface.

Reggie made the first move and rang the doorbell.

“God you’re brave for doing this,” she said to him.

They hung on to each other until they could hear footsteps headed for the door. That’s when they let their hands fall to the side – a small dog barking and the voice inside acknowledging that Wonder and her new boyfriend had arrived. Her father opened the door, and found the new black and white couple staring into space.

“Why, hello, Wonder,” said her father in a plain Oxford shirt and a camel hair sports jacket. He even smoked a pipe. He kissed her on the cheek, and then he shook Reggie’s hand. The whole thing felt awkward for the three of them, until Wonder’s mother came to the door, and suddenly the whole scene grew into an uncanny awkwardness, as in this small New England suburb interracial dating wasn’t actually welcomed but put up with every few generations by the criminal pirate who obtained things illegally.

“Come in, please,” said the mother. She wore a bleached smile – probably dentures, and her father had all his teeth. They looked satisfied with their lives and had attained a kind of regalness that made them fit into this area of ultra-private New Englanders. Reggie was impressed.

They all shook hands, and her parents smiled at the both of them. These were kind, church-going people, surmised Reggie. They must have had an upbringing in the church, most likely Baptists or Methodists. They gave him a grand tour of the home, which had five bedrooms and four bathrooms. The house could be compared to a building that the old settlers had built by hand. The place was that old, and Reggie was also floored by the stained-glass windows in the living room and the kitchen area – the story of Jesus told in glass color.

“This is amazing,” said Reggie.

“Thank you, Reggie,” said the father, trying to hold his smile together.

“The windows were already here when we bought the place,” said Wonder’s mother.

“Well, ma’am, the windows make quite an impression, that’s for sure.”

All four them were then directed by Wonder’s mother to sit on the sofa for a drink.

“How about a beer, big guy?”

“Sure,” said Reggie.

“We drink Heineken. Is that alright with you?”

“Absolutely.”

The comforts of the incredibly soft sofa made him want to sleep in it forever, and for some reason, the household interior smelled like Wonder smelled – incense, a fire place, hot chocolate, downhill skiing, snowshoeing.

“We usually go up to Killington this time of year.

Wonder hasn’t joined us for a long time.”

“I know, Dad,” she said, “but I’ve been so involved with school work and such.”

“What’s your major, by the way,” asked her father.

“I think it will be English. I love reading books.”

“I guess you two have been seeing each other recently?”

“It’s been about seven weeks so far,” said Wonder.

She mumbled this. She could immediately tell if her father and mother would approve. Normally, they never approved of anyone Wonder brought home – starting at middle school, and now at college.

“So what is your line of work, Reggie,” smiled her mother.

“I’m a Professor at the university.”

“Wow! A professor, eh?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“I guess you get the summer’s off, right?”

“Usually, but we can work if we want to.”

“Where did you go for your last Sabbatical?”

“I’ve never gone on Sabbatical before.”

“Isn’t that what most professors do?”

“He’s an Adjunct, Dad,” said Wonder.

She knew her father wanted to talk about money, and in truth, the new couple hardly had enough to make it through the weekends. All that money earned from Reggie’s teaching could hardly pay for their morning coffee.”

“Don’t mind him,” said the smiling Mother. “He’s just curious.”

“Oh, not a problem, Ma’am,” said Reggie. “He should know all of the particulars.”

“Dad, Mom?” said Wonder, “I’ve been thinking how to tell you this all day, but, you see, I’m pregnant with Reggie’s child, and we want to get married and start a family of our own.”

“Come again?” asked her father.

“She’s pregnant,” said her mother, her wine glass tipping and about to fall over.

“With this man’s child?”

“Yes, Dad,” she said. “We want to do the proper thing and get married as soon as we can.”

“I see,” said her father, mulling things over.

Wonder was thankful that her father never exploded upon hearing bad news. She wondered why her parents didn’t yell or shout, even though they had never done so before – like when she was caught smoking in the girls bathroom at high school and was suspended for a week.

Her parents didn’t get angry then, and perhaps they weren’t too honest about sharing what had to plow through their minds now.

“Well, honey, what I should say to Reggie is: welcome to the family, Reggie.”

Reggie shook hands with Wonder’s father and mother, and apparently it all seemed fine, as Wonder, although a little young for Reggie, seemed to receive her father’s blessing without being told directly. Her parents also hinted that they would help support the couple, should there be any need for the proper care and nurturing of the child. Wonder and Reggie were both surprised at her parent’s reactions. The family actually smiled together. The Robins family and the Meeks family had the high privilege of moving along the line – to reproduce and to be parents – as it was made to be. Every man should have a family, thought Reggie, because once her parents were fine and dandy over it, a new burst of confidence and relief swept over Wonder and Reggie both. They smiled to each other.

“Would you guys like to spend the night here? It’s getting quite dark outside,” asked Wonder’s mother.

“I have to be at work to finish up some of those dishes,” said Reggie, beaming with joy.

“Dishes? Is there something I missed?”

“Yes, Dad. Reggie’s parents own a family restaurant. Reggie helps out the business by washing dishes.”

“What type of restaurant is it?”

“It’s more like a diner,” she said. “Ask for anything, and they’ll make it for you.”

“An added bonus!” said her father. “But why don’t you leave Wonder here. She could fill in all the details.”

“Oh. Well, I guess I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?” he said to Wonder.

“That would be fine,” said Wonder. “Will it be pizza or Chinese food tonight, Dad?”

“We’ll figure it out. But for now, Reggie has to get to work. He is well dressed, well-spoken, and a responsible man. Of good character.”

“Thank you, sir,” said Reggie.

Shortly after, Reggie took off and headed for the restaurant. Wonder stayed with her parents for the night, hoping to explain how they met and also a few wedding plans thrown into the mix.

Wonder and Reggie preferred a small, intimate wedding. Her parents appreciated that, as weddings weren’t exactly cheap. Each new bit of information that Wonder disclosed made them feel safe and secure that this couple was meant to last. Interestingly, her parents said nothing about race or ethnicity. They wanted to make Wonder happy, and if this was the way to do it, then all the better.

The Robins family ordered a pizza from a local take-out place. Wonder was famished as she hardly ate anything that morning and afternoon. Her parents had a couple of slices – nothing more. They saved most of it for Wonder. She was now eating for two.

Her parents even gave Wonder a cold beer to wash all of that pizza down. It was cold and crisp, as though nothing could ever warm it. Ice had formed along the bottles neck and dripped its aquatic perspiration down its body. Just before Wonder took a swig of it, her father said, “why don’t you use a glass?” And then, “wait a second. I’ll get it for you.

It’s in the dishwasher.”

Her parents aided and abetted her. They cut the pizza with a knife, opened the bottle with one of those fancy Rabbit openers. Her father even brought over some napkins and placed them on Wonder’s lap. Wonder noticed how strange they had been acting towards her.

They didn’t say much at all – just served her as though they were a couple of highly skilled waiters.

She knew they acted in this peculiar manner, because it was usually the other way around – Wonder fixed dinner when she grew tired of her roommates and the new apartment. Wonder usually vacuumed the carpeting and mopped the bathroom tiles. Wonder ought to have been serving her parents with a beer instead of the other way around. She felt somewhat out of place, now that Reggie had left. She found good reason to discover that her parents had completely changed after Reggie left. They kept on asking her if there were anything she’d like to talk about. But Wonder had very little to say – only that she was excited to have a baby and to marry who was now the love of her life – Reggie Meeks.

Her father poured the beer into the glass. After a few strong gulps of the cold beer and after she finished what remained of the pizza, her view of the kitchen table had changed – it was both lopsided and distorted, as though the entire home threw her along its edges, much like riding on an out-of-control rotor wheel. She could barely keep her eyes open, but saw that her father used the phone almost immediately before she blacked out. Her mother prevented Wonder from falling off her chair. Her father, after speaking with the mystery person, also assisted in getting her to the living room sofa. Once there, Wonder passed out.

After what seemed like a few seconds of a blackout, however, Wonder opened her eyes to find their family doctor above her wearing a plastic mask. His ancient trembling hands reached all the way between her legs as he probed her with a dull, cold medical instrument.

“What are you doing?” she mumbled, her eyes open but unable to articulate her discomfort.

“Easy, there, Wonder,” said the family doctor who was suddenly determined to do his work inside of her.

“Just hold on, sweetie,” said her mother who wiped off the beaded sweat on Wonder’s forehead. “Just a little bit more to go.”

“Where’s Reggie?” she mumbled.

“Everything will be fine, dear,” said her mother.

“Just close your eyes and think of all the happy times you had here while growing up. Remember how your father bought that swing set on your fourth birthday?

Remember how you loved it – the birthday parties and the picnics. You were a lovely girl. Every parent envied us, because you were such a beautiful daughter.

Remember?”

Wonder could only mumble a few words, the cold metal scraping her insides.

“What’s happening to me?” she asked in a faint voice.

“We’re almost done,” said the doctor, moving deeper into her with the medical device. “It should feel a little uncomfortable while I take out the scalpel, okay?”

Wonder had learned that whenever a doctor says that a procedure would be of some discomfort, it usually meant that there would be blinding, harrowing pain and stinging for an extended period of time. She thought she would scream, but was much too sedated to do so.

The sedative that her father put in her beer glass completely knocked her out. Stopping the procedure was now out of the question. The blinding sting of the cold, metal object must have produced several deep scars within. But she didn’t have the strength to oppose them. By the time the doctor finished, Wonder had fallen fast asleep and had little choice but to recover on the living room sofa, as both of her parents could be heard thanking the doctor for the emergency house-call. Her mother gave her one last swipe across the forehead with a hot towel before turning off the lights and journeying upstairs with her father. She had passed out for the rest of the night.

Maybe it was a dream? Her mind still worked well enough to make fantasy and reality indistinguishable, which wasn’t very much brain power at all. She slept hard – probably the best sleep she ever had due to the sedative and the exhaustion of the operation. She awoke the next morning wanting to go to class and see Reggie, but the sedatives were way too strong for her waifish body. She tried to remember what had happened the night before, but her grogginess was such an annoyance that she could only remember how her mother ran her fingers through her tangled hair and then placed the warm towel on her forehead. She didn’t have any idea what they said, as the doctor who came the night before advised her parents that she would be groggy and basically a vegetable for a day or two until the anesthesia wore off.

She slept until late afternoon, and it turned out that Reggie called her several times throughout the day.

“I get concerned,” said Reggie. “I didn’t see her in class this morning. Maybe because she was staying at her parent’s? Maybe her alarm clock wasn’t set.”

“Wonder is a grown woman,” I said. “I think she can find her own way back to her apartment.”

“She’s a grown woman, sure – but not by much.

She’s really a rare orchid that opens itself with beauty. She’s fragile. I know her. She may act tough like some kind of activist, but deep inside, she has a loving and giving heart.”

“You can throw good-looking into that,” I said.

“That has nothing to do with it. She’s giving and caring.”

“Just so long she takes care of your stomach and your dick, you’ll never leave her no matter what she looks like.”

“Can we stop thinking about sex all the time?

After a while, the libido doesn’t work, and when that happens, you’ll have to like her for who she is. All I know about you is that you like to fuck.

“Sex, or the lack of sex, doesn’t bother me anymore.

Plus, she’s white, so she doesn’t have such a great sex drive. We only have that ability to succeed as a couple. No one knows it yet is all.”

“That, or they refuse to admit it. Yes, Reggie. I think you’ve hit the ball out of the park on that one.”

“So we agree on something for once?” asked Reggie.

“Yes. But you better hope that she gets in touch with you. Something may have gone wrong. Check it out, but don’t annoy her. You can be very annoying sometimes, especially with women. You’ve got to suppress that maniacal side to you.”

“Maybe we should stop by her apartment.”

“Right after I drop you off, you can do any damn thing you want.”

“We have to check out her apartment. We both have to go in there.”

“What do you mean ‘we?’ I said.

“Just come along. All we have to do is find out if she’s okay. I’m getting worried about her. She could be at home too. I don’t think she would stay with her parents another night.”

The gravel road twisted as I pressed on the gas.

Little did I know that Reggie didn’t lead us to the apartment. I kept quiet, even though I had no idea where we were going. The chill made me wish I had worn a pair of thermals, but I had no such luck. Reggie was the navigator, and we followed a road all the way up to the foot of the Berkshire hills. The road narrowed, and suddenly there was a traffic circle with no one on it. We had traveled the traffic circle a couple of time before Reggie’s memory bounced back, and all of a sudden, after turning on the right road, the road itself narrowed into a dirt track that may have been good for dirt bikes, but it in no way was very good for the car I drove. We hit puddle potholes every few seconds, as the rough terrain had us sliding in our seats. I was nervous that it would cause damage, but as far as he was concerned, Reggie didn’t give a shit about anything except finding Wonder.

“Where the hell are we going, Reggie? It doesn’t look like an apartment building is here.”

“I want to see her parents first. Maybe they know a few things that we don’t know.”