Chapter 21: Carpet Ride From Hell

Nov. 17th 2018

Last night was uncool. As I have mentioned before, I am now subject to periods of madness which I lovingly refer to as reality being bendy. Last night I awoke in a state of full blown terror and internal reality was absolutely bendy. Back in the day, I’ve done things they say make LSD look like bathwater in comparison and last night it was full speed ahead welcome to hell.

Normally, I have for lack of a better words an anchor. I know which way is up so to speak. Not this time, I was drowning. None of my normal tricks like telling myself this is just a trip was working. I was losing my grip. I was scared I was going to start doing crazy shit like running in traffic or killing goblins disguised as my family members in the real world. I was free falling in the madness.

As I’ve mentioned, I’ve practiced various forms of Magick throughout my life. Since my illness, I have leaned heavily into the myth and culture of my Ancestors. I’ve also restarted some of my magickal practices. It suits me and I find comfort in it. The reason I mention this is I wear for magickal reasons a bracelet. I was wearing it last night. Call it further delirium, or what you will, but I called out to it mentally and was instantly oriented. I was still on the carpet ride and absolutely terrified, but I was anchored.

Eventually, I fell back to sleep. Only to have dreams where people were talking to me and I couldn’t understand them. Their voice sounded like several over laid tracks saying the same thing yet, with a watery quality. Everything else was normal. I could almost make out some of the words but not quite.

-scene change-

My wife and I were at some type of modern monastery doing some type of retreat and we were waiting our turn to enter our individual or joint cells that point was unclear and a guide was opening and closing the door that led to that hallway. Someone had hand written the spiritual exercises on the wall. I was thinking no thanks I have my own. (looking back it was a shame. The place was beautiful 4 star hotel quality.) my wife was hugging me. I was enjoying her attention but she kept digging her elbows into my sides but I didn’t want to break the hug. Finally. The female guide leads me to a door on the opposite wall from the door we had been facing? It a section of blue wall the has a modern ad type logo across it about a prayer rug. I’m confused as we don’t have prayer rugs in our faith. The wall/door moves, shimmies does something it’s just not there and I’m in a white room an there’s a prayer rug but it’s in several places at once. The place I’m in is not bound by spatial qualities. I literally can’t process where I’m at. It’s not normal space.

Then I’m standing next to a guy who’s in a chair reading a book. The guy looks like The Flash from TV. I read from over his shoulder. “Sacred spaces are a trap. They deceive people because Sacred Space is within them. That’s all I remember.

When I woke up I was normal and could speak normally. I was able to work until 12:30 this afternoon.

Cheers,

Cheers,