This story is based on a true story I read about in the papers years ago. It made me laugh, even then, though not funny for the women involved I’m sure.
“Ding dong” the door bell rang and Cheryl opened it to a man in a white coat. “Mrs Cheryl Watkins? You’re expecting me I think.” He held out his hand and she shook it automatically.
“Urr, no, I don’t think so. Is it about the boiler?”
“Ha ha, no no. It’s about your ... it is rather delicate, perhaps I could come in?”
“Oh, I don’t know.”
“Here’s my ID, I’m from the hospital. Ah, yes, I see you understand now.
Four weeks ago, Denzel Smith had started his two weeks work experience in the hospital. He was quite keen. He asked if he could help with an operation – no. Could he help on a ward, he wanted to be a doctor – no. Well what then? Well, you may be allowed to see an operation, but you will work in the office most of the time; sorting papers and the like. Nothing sensitive or confidential. At first.
After five days, Mr Terrine was off sick and Gynae and Obstetrics needed some help moving some filing cabinets. Denzel was sent to help move them, Of course, the boxes of records fell open and Denzel helped pick them up, and after that, he remained as one of the team.
“Thank you, yes, tea would be lovely. Your children are both at school? All day? I mean, they don’t come home for lunch? No, excellent. We won’t be disturbed.”
Cheryl had been lulled into thinking ‘white coat equals professional’. He had an id like the ones she’s seen in the hospital. He had her records with him. He knew she had two children. He opened the folder and said “Yes, so, you’ve been having some treatment for the problem. Has it helped so far?” She shook her head, no the periods were still very heavy and discomforting. She had always had heavy periods, she explained, but they had become worse of late. After the second child had been born.
“Yes, yes, so I see. This is not an abnormal experience but usually it settles down. We find that the re-establishment of normal relations often helps. Are you having normal relations?”
She briefly thought he was asking if her relations were normal, then she realised it was a euphemism. He was asking if she was having sex with her husband regularly. She looked at the doctor and thought he looked about sixteen, she must be getting old if the doctors were looking so young. “Well, not as often as we used to. But I’m getting older. We both are.”
“May I ask, do you still enjoy it? Sex, I mean, the physical act.”
“Oh yes, ... well, maybe not as much. No. It’s hard to fit it in what with having two children, you see. Always listening out for them.”
“And your husband? He enjoys it still?”
“Yes, sometimes I...”
“Yes? As you can see, I am not making notes, this part of the consultation is very confidential.” So he wasn’t recording this on her records? She felt relief.
“Well, sometimes I just wish he would get on with it and get it over.”
“Yes, yes, perfectly normal. That is the purpose of these house visits. It is a great pity that you weren’t expecting me; it would have enabled you to prepare yourself. We’ll need to make a new appointment, I think.”
“Really? But I thought this was the consultation.”
“Oh dear no. No. The purpose of the home visit is to enable the patient to feel comfortable, peaceful and contented. All essentials for a satisfactory sexual experience.”
“I ... what? I.”
“We need to establish if an enjoyable sexual experience can reboot your body and enable you to control your periods more satisfactorily. This is why we need to remake the appointment. It will be six months, at least, I’m afraid. The idea is to enable your vagina to make copious fluids and wash out anything that is disturbing your normal activity. Then we take samples to establish the bio-flora inside you.”
“You want me to pleasure myself and then let you take samples?”
“That is plan B, some people don’t like the idea of an another man taking the role for one session, but it is the best solution since it allows us to establish if semen is having an effect.”
She was hardly listening now. He was suggesting that the ‘treatment’ involved him having sex with her! She was horrified, and slightly fascinated too. She had never had sex with anyone except her husband. He was her first and only. She wondered what it would be like. She needed to think about this. “Mrs Watkins? I’ll put you back on the waiting list then. I’m not sure if it will be myself or John Brown, sorry, Dr Brown, who will come in six months. We’ll ring to confirm the appointment.” Ring? Supposing her husband answered?
“Yes, he’s very experienced. He had been doing this work for sometime. I believe he is retiring next year.”
“How old is he?”
“Oh, Sixty? Perhaps a little old. Yes, very experienced.”
Experienced and wrinkly and old? She tried not to shudder. “I wonder, perhaps we might try today after all? I mean would that be all right?”
“Well, we could, I suppose. Only you have to be sure. It is slightly irregular. Perhaps, if we did, it would be better not to mention it at the next consultation with your GP. They can be sticklers for correct procedure. Oh yes, I’ll get the tests done, you have my word. I’ll telephone you next week if there is anything to worry about.”
She stood up, pointed towards the door. The tea was left, half drunk.
Cheryl Watkins was thirty two, mother of two, wife of Martin. That was her life. She would never admit that she had had fantasies, but she did; but none were like this. A man in a white coat coming to her door and saying she had to have sex. The closest she had come to that was imagining waking up in the dentist’s chair with her skirt up and her pants on the floor. She’d had that a few times.
“I don’t know what to do.” she said. She had grown used to the Friday night fumble in bed, the pulling up of her nightdress, the five minutes of polishing her boobs, and then Martin moving on top of her. Ten minutes later, at most, it was all over.
“Relax, will you let me lead you?” She nodded and watched as he took off his white lab. coat took off his tie, shirt, shoes, socks, trousers and pants. He stood naked and then said “Now, you; just relax and let me do everything.” She was already damp. She hadn’t watched a man, a man without a pot belly, undress for so long. He had an erection. It wasn’t as large as her husband’s. He took off her blouse and then he kissed her. She nearly recoiled, but he emphasised that she must enjoy the whole experience. She promised to let him lead, once more, and kissed him back; wondering if it was necessary to release her boobs (as he was doing) for sex. There had been times recently when her boobs had remained covered as Martin had just mounted and dismounted. She’d joked once that she thought he’d fallen off before finishing, it was all so quick. He wasn’t amused.
This doctor did a good impression of liking her slightly sagging bust. She knew they were sagging, he had to be acting, but he made her feel good as he squeezed, stroked, sucking, licked and nipped. She felt herself getting more than damp. It made her freeze again. If she started leaking, she’d look like a dirty slut, no-man likes a leaky vulva do they? “Relax, I can feel you tensing.”
“Sorry, I, ohhhh, that’s nice.”