Training for the Prerogative
Chapter 1

Copyright© 2018 by Bytor

Erotica Sex Story: Chapter 1 - Rene has chosen her path and now she must learn to satisfy a man, a woman, or any combination there of. This is how Rene learns to be all she can be while trying to maintain who she is.

Caution: This Erotica Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Mult   Consensual   Lesbian   Heterosexual  

Week 1:
2/15/1992 - 2/21/1992

She got off the bus and walked a couple of blocks through the sunny but cool winter day. The neighborhood was clean and well-kept with every home maintained and appearing in good working order.

The multitudes of people that she was used to seeing in and around the campus were absent, which was a little disconcerting. Oh, there were people moving about to be sure, but as she walked down a block that was not known to her it was somewhat unnerving.

Arriving at the designated address, she stopped and took a deep breath and walked up the few steps and rang the doorbell. A moment later a man in his 30’s opened the door. He was a handsome man dressed in a light blue polo which was tight and extenuated his muscular build, and dark brown khakis. His hair was a light brown and close cropped with eyes of deep brown.

“Can I help you?” he asked in a smooth voice.

“Hi, I was sent here by Mr. Marbury?” she said with a hint of uneasiness.

“Oh my, you are very young. You are of legal age, aren’t you?” he asked with a hint of teasing.

She smiled nervously as she said, “Ah, well, yes, I am of legal age” she stammered.

He stepped back to allow her entry and replied, “Okay than, please come in. My name is Ian, Ian Norwood.”

She stepped in to the foyer and extended her hand and said, “Nice to meet you Ian, I’m Rene Hewitt. Are you the Trainer?”

He took her hand and shook it gently and said, “No I am not, but I will take you to him. Oh Mr. Miyagi, your, uhm, VERY young, trainee is here,” he bellowed.

From around the corner came a familiar voice “So, Rene, you have decided to take up the position, have you?”

The voice was undeniable, “Edgar? Oh wow, I never expected you to be my trainer.”

He came around the corner wiping his hands on a dish rag saying, “Well I must say Rene that I never expected you to BE my trainee.”

“Well, then we are both surprised then aren’t we” she said with a laugh.

His laugh was loud and deep. “That we are. Oh, I take it you have met Ian?”

Turning to the handsome man she said, “Yes, we met when he let me in.”

“Good. Ian is my life partner and will be assisting me in your training.”

Taken aback Rene said, “Life Partner? I take it that, uhm, you are gay?”

Ian interjected at this point and said, “Well Edgar is gay, I am Bi.”

Another booming laugh from Edgar followed by him saying, “That he is.”

A smile still upon his face but a look that was somewhat bemused Edgar said, “I see by the look on your face that this confuses you?”

Did she just step into it she asked herself? “Well, uhm yes. No” she said as she bit her lip.

“Okay. Let us go into the dining room and talk. Would you like something to drink? Water, Tea, Coffee?” asked Ian.

“Water please.”

“Excellent. Edgar?”

To Ian he said, “I’m fine.” As they walked into the dining room Edgar asked, “So, where would you like to start?”

Shrugging her shoulders Rene said, “Oh, I don’t know.”

As they sat down Edgar said in a commanding voice, “Going forward, questions asked of you must have a definitive answer. I don’t know, is not an answer. If you do not know the answer or you do not understand the question than you must provide more detail, allowing me, or anyone else with whom you are talking, to further define the question. People use this as a means of allowing others to dictate to them, okay?”

Taken aback by the strength of the rebuke she responded, “Okay.”

With a smile on his face Edgar asked, “So, where would you like to start?”

Returning his smile, she said, “I would defer to you as I am not sure what I will be doing, other than the sex part.”

“Okay, fair enough. There is much to talk about, and even more to learn in the 60 days that we have to prepare you for the position.”

“Do I need 60 days? I think I can, pass the test, if there is one” she responded shyly.

“Rene, 60 days might seem like a long time, but in fact, it isn’t, and it’s going to go by fast, very fast. And with your class workload and the things you are going to learn and do, it could be a bit overwhelming. But, it really depends on how you assimilate to this new job. Morality is an indicator of who you are and is deep within your psyche, believe me, it’s not easy to change your outlook on what is right or wrong” his tone was focused and quick to the point.

“I guess there might have been a few things that I might have, over looked. Or might not have thought of,” she replied with a bit of concern

Edgar looked to Ian and said, “I think I should modify the plans for today, have a Q&A session only and hit the ground running in our next session. How is that Rene?”

“If you think that’s best” she said with some relief.

“Right, so, let’s get to it than. There are three basic areas we will be covering; they are Self-Awareness, Physical Fitness, and Knowledge. Self-Awareness is where and how you fit into this new position and, most importantly, how you can be whatever the Customer wants while maintaining who you are. It is important that you understand the differentiation as it is the underlying definition as to what your position is, but not who you are” the last said with conviction.

She scrunched her nose and said, “I don’t understand.”

Edgar leaned forward in his chair and continued, “You, as a person, have a set of codes that you live by, your morality so to speak. The position you are in, and I am assuming this next part, has shifted your morality to accept that what you are doing is necessary for your future. Am I correct?”

“In one sense, yes. But until I actually begin to, go on dates, then it’s just theory.”

He sat back and looked intently at her. “So, when you begin the actual job, is when the question of morality comes into play? I don’t think that is how I saw it. The decision that is when it is to be made. If you accept the position, you have accepted everything that it entails.”

“But it is in the act that it would be accepted” she said forcefully. Where is he going with this?

“You are putting it off unless you have truly not accepted your decision. Have you?” The last said with a tinge of disbelief.

With an uneasiness she replied, “Yes, I have”

He spread his hands and said, “Prove it.”

She cocked her head and asked, “How?”

Edgar sat back crossed his arms and coldly said, “Strip.”

Taken aback by his command she quickly replied, “What! Why?”

“Do I need a reason?” There was something in his voice that commanded not only respect but adherence to his rule.

But she held firm and answered, “Yes.”

“The REASON is, because I am NOT wasting Mr. Marbury’s time on you if you have not yet committed to the job” the last spoken hard and with emphasis on each word and syllable.

Silent for most of the discussion Ian finally jumped in, “Edgar, she isn’t ready for this...”

Turning to look at Ian “This is not a question of whether she is ready or not, it is a question of commitment.”

Turning back to Rene he continued, “I look at you and see a young woman who believes that she has found a solution to the situation she has found herself in. But, she has not fully realized what the solution is or what it WILL do to her. Nor does she have any understanding of what a failure on her part will do, or that the impact can be devastating to more than her. I cannot let you put yourself, or Mr. Marbury, in a position of failure.”

Ian shaking his head said, “I don’t think this is the best approach. That she is here should be enough for now.”

Edgar turned quickly to Ian and asked, “Ian, what choice do I have?”

Leaning onto the table and looking intently at Edgar he said, “You have a plethora of choices, one being to start off correctly. Slow it down, focus on what is before us, think of what you want to accomplish today, and let us worry about tomorrow another day.”

Edgar away from Ian and looked down at the glass of water before him. A moment or two passed before he broke his silence, “I am not sure about this Ian.”

Ian breathed a sigh of relief and placed his hand on Edgar’s shoulder, “Your protection of Mr. Marburry is understandable, but this is the FIRST meeting and not the time for this discussion. Let us move forward with the plan as we had discussed and take it from there.”

“Okay Ian, I will take your advice.” Looking up from the glass to Rene he said, “You will need to think long on this, what you are going to be doing is not easy and for some the most difficult part of their lives.”

“Okay Edgar, I will do so.” What had just happened? What was it that pushed Edgar into the corner and challenged her resolve? Why did she question his command? Maybe she wasn’t as committed to this as she had thought she was.

She was brought back to the conversation when Edgar said, “Alright than. So, self-awareness, do you understand what it is I am talking about?”

“I believe so, becoming what I am not while maintaining who I am.” She wasn’t certain that was what he was getting at but that’s what she took from it.

“Good. Next is Physical Fitness which encompasses diet, exercise, health, and wellness. Because of the nature of the position it is imperative that you are on birth control, are you on the pill?”

“No I am not.” She tried to control her voice.

“Alright than, medical is part of your benefits with the company, so first thing next week you will need to setup an appointment with your Doctor.”

“My Doctor is back in Indiana, I do not have one here.”

“Right, okay” he replied scratching his head.

Ian looked at Rene and said, “Contact Tracy, Mr. Marburry’s Executive Assistant on Monday and tell her you need to see a gynecologist as soon as possible. She’s very good at getting things done and should be able to set you up with an appointment in short order.”

“Good thinking Ian” replied a relieved Edgar.

Shifting in her seat she asked, “So I won’t be having sex, because don’t you need to be on the pill for at least a month?”

“Yes, but since Ian and I have had vasectomies and we will be using condoms we should be safe” He said matter of factly.

“Sounds good” but after saying that she was confused and asked, “Wait a minute, so, we will be having sex?” she asked.

Unphased by the question he responded, “Yes”

Surprised by his answer she said, a little over the top, “But you’re gay?”

Edgar laughed, “Being gay doesn’t mean that I cannot have sex with women. I prefer sex with men, they turn me on, whereas woman do not, that is how I am wired. Being gay doesn’t mean that I cannot appreciate the body of a women, or that I cannot understand what a woman wants, or what a woman needs to be sexually fulfilled. I just prefer men.”

Pointing to Ian he continued, “Now, Ian is Bi, he is sexually turned on by Men and Women and has relations with both. I assume that you know that you are required to have sex with women” the last was thrown out there more so as if confirming the question than a real one.

She shifted nervously in her seat, “Yes, I am aware.”

“So, will you be gay if you have sex with a woman?”

Getting a sense that Edgar was expecting more from her than a yes or no answer she replied with a hint of confidence, “I will have to wait until I have had sex with a woman before I can give you an answer.”

Edgar smiled, “Good answer. I think as time goes by, that you will see sex with women as I see sex with women, that it is not sex at all. People see sexual relations in a paradigm of a few elements, but when you look at it in whole you will see that it is much larger and varied. The two that make up the largest elements are Physical and Emotional.”

She got a sense that Edgar wanted her to acknowledge his statement before continuing. The discussion was out there, like at the 100,000-foot level and she was only at the 15,000 foot. She understood what he was saying, but only in that he understood the words, it was the meaning of what he was saying that she was getting lost in, or more important the lesson he was trying to teach.

“The Physical element is the ability to have sex without emotion, without a, mental connection with your partner. It is about the physical aspect of sex, without the emotional component. It is what it is, the base act of sex.”

“Emotional sex is built upon the Physical, adding the mental connection with the person you are having sex with, and it is this connection that takes it too another level.”

“There is a third aspect of sex. But I would think that it would not be something you would be experiencing while in this line of work. And that would be the addition of love.”

He took a moment before continuing, “How you, deal, with these, three elements of sex, will allow you to perform your duties while maintaining your idea of what sex is. This can be accomplished by managing the Emotional side of sex by, as I can only describe it as, turning your mind off to the Emotional side of sex while having sex.”

If you can disconnect, in your mind, that what you are doing with a woman is not sex, then you can maintain your straight sexuality. Of course, it is all no consequence if you find that you enjoy it and can embrace it” he said with a smile.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” asked Ian.

Shaking her head no enthusiastically she said, “Oh God no. In fact, I don’t think I can have a relationship while I do this job.”

Edgar nodded in agreement, “That makes it easier, in some respects. When you are in a relationship with someone it can be hard to perform the duties that you must do. Even if you can maintain the relationship, it could be only a matter of time before it fails. You might want to find someone with whom you can talk to about what you are doing. Having someone to vent to or confess to is good for the soul.”

“If you did have a boyfriend, trust and honesty are the keys. If you trust your partner and you are honest with your partner than you can overcome anything.”

He looked to Ian and said, “Look at Ian and I. Ian can have sex with women for the pleasure of it, without the emotional connection. I trust him in that he won’t become emotionally connected.”

“But isn’t there a chance that he could?” she asked cautiously.

Looking back to her he smiled and said, “Of course there is. But I trust that he won’t. What he and I have together is the emotional side. And I trust him to forgo the emotional connection when he has sex with someone else, because the emotional connection is relegated to our relationship, whereas a physical connection is for everything else.”

Still not sure that she had grasped the concepts from Edgar she replied anyway, “I think I get it.”

“I think it will become clearer when you start going on Dates. Next is diet, not as in dieting but as in nutrition. It is important that you understand how diet impacts your health, what foods are good for you, and what foods you should be avoiding. Are you familiar with nutrition?”

“Well, yes, but not overly. I do watch what I eat, staying away from fast food and such” she said as she placed her hands over her stomach.

“Ah to be young and have a metabolism that allows you to eat just about anything. Okay, when you talk to Tracy see if she can help you find a General Practitioner and setup an appointment as well for a physical exam. You might as well get this all taken care of now.”

“Next is physical fitness. I would strongly recommend that you join a local gym and meet with a physical fitness trainer and develop a workout strategy for toning your body, and how to maintain it.”

“Oh, and gyms, the good ones, have aerobic classes which are good for cardiovascular workouts, so when you go looking for gyms make sure you ask about that. I would also recommend yoga, something that when done properly brings a balance through meditation, not that I am into the whole mystical thing, but some people swear about the powers that can be gained from meditation. I would try it if I were you and if you don’t see the benefit you can always drop it.”

“Lastly, I would highly recommend a class in self-defense so you can protect yourself in case the situation arises. There are several Taekwondo or Karate places in the area you can take advantage of.”

Self-defense? Now she became a bit nervous as she asked, “Do you think that I will need a self-defense class?”

Sitting back in the chair he looked as if he was contemplating his response. A moment later he responded, “Mr. Marburry has my complete trust, and I do not see him as a threat, and though he may vouch for the people with whom you meet for Dates, I would not put the same trust I have for Mr. Marburry in the people with whom you would meet. You are performing a role that some would potentially take advantage of in a not so quit pleasant way, thinking that they have a license to be overbearing or physical in ways that are not allowed. Though the person might be known by Mr Marburry personally, that should not preclude you from ensuring that you take the responsibility for your safety, and by taking self-defense courses you can protect yourself.”

Satisfied with Edgar’s answer she said, “I will check into the courses.”

“Knowledge is the last and most important reason you are here, specifically the knowledge of sex, the different types of sex, what is required for the job, what it feels like, what to expect, and what you will do, and what you won’t do.”

Sheepishly she said, “I am not very knowledgeable in sex.”

“That is where Ian and I come in. We will teach you what you need to know. And what we cannot teach there will be someone who has the expertise who will.”

This caught her off guard! More people!?! “What do you mean by expertise and someone else?”

“Well, though Ian is a wonderful lover, and I know how to please a woman, there are certain aspects of pleasing a woman that are better taught by a woman.”

“So there is another teacher? Who is a woman?” she asked not totally pleased with this new revelation.

“Yes, her name is Elyse Sitton, a woman I have known. I actually met her through Mr. Marburry. She is a lovely woman who will be more than happy to help you attain the knowledge for pleasing a woman, as well as helping you with etiquette, poise, and how to act as a lady of stature.”

There was a tone in his voice that intimated a much deeper and profound relationship between Edgar and Elyse that he did not offer up.

The silence continued until Ian jumped in, “Elyse will probably have a more, profound, impact on you than we will. She has that effect on people.”

“Right, so, teaching. I hope you don’t mind that we will be having sex?” Edgar asked.

“No. Well ... No. I guess I am, but it isn’t ... Don’t take this wrong, but the Gay thing has me a little freaked out, not that you are gay, but the way you are about sex, I mean I have always thought that Gay guys would think that sex with a woman is, icky, like I thought that having sex with a woman is icky, you know? And that is kind of playing around in my mind now.” She knew she rambled; she tried to stop herself but failed miserably.

Taken aback by the explosion of words, Edgar said, “Uhm, well, that was, interesting. Let’s just, take that one at a time. Okay?”

“You know what, let’s just forget I said anything” she asked pleadingly, hoping that she did not piss anyone off.

“If that’s what you want, but” pointing to himself and Ian, “we want you to be open and honest with us. NEVER think that there is something that you can’t ask us or talk to us about. This thing you are undertaking is, life changing.”

“Okay.” She felt there was more she wanted to say, but, she felt that she was treading water here, keeping her head above water and trying not to drown. Opening herself up and asking questions would certainly sink her.

“So, next on the agenda is to talk about the ground rules, define what you will do, and define at a high level what the training regimen will be. As we all know Oral, Vaginal, and Anal sex with Men and Women will be required, with single or multiple partners. Have you had sex?” he asked in a slightly embarrassed fashion.

She was sure she blushed bright red as she answered, “Yes, uhm, oral and regular sex.”

Nodding his head he responded, “So no anal sex?”

She wrinkled her nose and shook her head emphatically saying, “That’s a no.”

“Okay, so the next item is Role playing. Sometimes Customers want you to be a character in their fantasy world, or maybe someone in the real world. These requests are, for the most part, harmless. But harmless to me might be harmful to you. The most often asked for fantasy is the incestuous sexual fantasy, and is usually requested by an older gentleman asking you to play a daughter, granddaughter, or niece.”

Some other fantasies are more troubling, as they are either simulated rape or humiliation. We generally shy away from the latter but allow the former, your feelings are?”

“I guess I’m okay with that. Uhm, how old are the guys I would be, dating?”

“Well, they vary in age, but I think the average age would in the 50’s.”

Fifties? Crap! Old guys! She knew there might be a possibility that she would have to have sex with older guys, but she thought 40’s was it. And then it hit her, she would have to have sex with older women.

She was brought back to reality when Ian asked, “Is that a Problem?”

“Uhm, no. The age thing kind of got to me is all” she stammered.

“Well, I would suggest that you find someone sexually stimulating like Luke Perry, Leonardo DiCaprio, Joshua Jackson, or Jason Priestley, and think that you are with them when you are on a Date” he said dryly.

Edgar once again took over, “I think you need to get your head around this one and do whatever you need to come to terms with it.”

Easier said than done she thought to herself.

“Getting back to it than, we will move onto those things that have been in the past, off limits or nonstandard aspects of sex such as BDSM which is the use of restraint, or intense sensory stimulation, or fantasy power role-play, sometimes all three. This is of course all consensual. This aspect includes Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, Sadism & Masochism, and role playing. Depending on the individuals pain can be part of the play. Is this something you would be interested in?”

With a shiver she responded, “No. Absolutely not.”

“Okay. I personally do not see the attraction to it but to each their own.”

“Exhibitionism and Voyeurism is similar to taking sexy picture or movies of yourself which is highly discouraged, I think it might be an offense that includes termination. The problem is that exposure is often illegal and the other is spying on people, even if they agree to it, it can lead you into situations that could cause undue attention to yourself, and in turn the people you work for.”

Next is for the truly brave of heart. It includes Water Sports, enema, and scat. Are you familiar with these terms?” he asked delicately.

“Well, yes and no, I heard of enemas.” She said in a strained voice.

Clearing his throat he continued on, “Well, water sports are sexual excitement associated with the sight or thought of urine or urination. Scat is the sexual pleasure from feces.”

“Oh God no! A definite no.”

“My sentiments exactly. The next is illegal in many places, it is sex with animals. The word illegal should give you an indication that it is not something that we approve of. If asked, just say no.”

Wrinkling her nose she said, “Definitely.”

“Since we are talking illegal, it is illegal for an American citizen or resident to have sex in another country with someone aged under 16, unless the age difference is less than 4 years, in which case the minimum age is 12. Underage sex is something that we believe should not be undertaken, especially if it is coerced. But what is unique about this situation is the age of consent varies not only from state to state but from country to country. It is best for you to know what that age is for where ever you are going so if the situation arises you can be prepared to respond. If you believe the age of the person is of issue do not engage in sexual relations. I cannot stress enough that you adhere to laws that govern us.”

With a laugh Rene said, “I don’t think that will be a problem.”

“Okay than, that’s about it for the types of sex. I think we should move on to discuss the training. First off we will discuss your body and how it works and reacts in sexual situations. You might already know these things but I think we should cover them anyway just to ensure we have it covered.”

“Okay. I am familiar with my body and I do know what I liked when my boyfriends did things to me.”

“Well that’s good; at least you have a starting point. What about oral sex?”

“Well I liked receiving more than giving.”

“Unfortunately you will find that you will be more of a giver than a receiver. Have you given many blow jobs?”

“Well, two. And a half.”

It was Ian that took up the conversation, “Half? How do you give half a blow job?”

She felt herself turning bright red, “Well, he, uh, ejaculated before I could get it in my, uhm, mouth and it got all over my face and in my hair. It was awful.”

Stunned silence greeted Rene at the completion of her tale, that is until Ian and Edgar erupted in laughter. For a moment she became very angry, but then she smiled and began laughing with them, not quite sure if they were laughing at the half of a blow job or that he had cum all over her face, or her naiveté, or all three!

A couple of minutes later, after they had gained their composure Ian said, “You know, I never heard of anyone calling a pearl necklace a half of a blow job.”

Edgar, fully recovered from laughing said, “Rene, you are precious, oh my. Anyway, continuing on to vaginal sex, from what you have said you are no longer a virgin?”

“Yes, that’s correct.”

“Have you had many partners?”

“No, only one, and we did it only one time.”

“My oh my, you are, virginal, aren’t you. I had expected that your knowledge might be limited, but not to such a degree. As a recap, you have had only two partners, oral sex with both, vaginal sex with one, and never had anal sex.”

“That about sums it up.”

“I would strongly suggest that you find someone that you can, ah, practice on, I mean, with, to gain experience.”

“Okay. What? Wait. Uh, you want me to, mess around with someone so I can gain experience?” she asked incredulously.

It was Edgar’s turn to respond incredulously, “Why yes. Do you have a problem with that?”

She stared at Edgar for a moment or two before responding shakily, “Well, yes and no. No, in that I don’t have a problem with it, and yes in that I don’t know anyone that I can ask.”

“Without sounding pushy, you live in the dorms where there are many strapping young men who would jump at the chance to be used by you.”

“It’s not so much the availability of the strapping young men as it is their loose lips that I am worried about. I am not a promiscuous person, and coming on to a guy is not something I have done, but I am sure I could do, I just don’t want to get a reputation as easy.”

“That is understandable, but do you think you could find one that you could see and have a relationship with that is just sexual?”

“I’m not sure I could do that, trick a guy into thinking that I like him just to have sex with him.”

“Hmm, sounds like something a guy would do to get a little action” replied Ian.

“At some point you will do things that you won’t want to do but are required for the job, consider this one of them. Find some lucky guy and go to town on him and learn from him. Think of it this way, you will be gaining not only sexual experience, but also learn how to detach yourself from the emotional aspects of sex” the last spoken as if she were a child needing guidance.

She considered what Edgar said and the implications of ‘finding a lucky guy’ to learn from and decided that she wasn’t too enthused and even, for just a moment, thought that maybe this solution wasn’t for her.

Ian spoke first, “I see that this is a matter for later consideration. And when you do remember that if you find someone to better your skills that it is the first steps towards understanding the job.”

“Yes, quit right Ian” interjected Edgar, “but let us not get sidetracked. I think the first few weeks we should dedicate to the basics, Oral, Vaginal, and Anal, and the different positions, and what are the most pleasurable for men.”

“I know I have committed to this, but I am not sure about Anal. It hurts, doesn’t it?”

“If done properly and you know what to expect, no. That is not to say that at first it won’t hurt. Knowledge and experience are the keys to understanding.”

“Okay, I trust your judgment on this.”

“We will follow this up with multiple partners, getting you familiar with what to expect and how to work things out.”

She said nothing, but considered this another piece of information that she would need to further consider if she was going forward with this job.

“I am, how do I say this, normal size in the male department, Ian is just above normal, so we will be bringing someone in who is at the top end of the spectrum. He is a good guy, caring, supportive, concerned with your well-being, and cognizant of how his size can be, disconcerting. It is important to learn from him in that regard, but also important to get a feel for a large penis. He is also an African American, so if you have racial issues you need to get past them now.”

Once again she sat mute, filing that piece of information away for further consideration.

“There will be an orgy that we will attend, and a gang bang where you will be the center of attention.”

This job had now gone past the point of being a solution to being a detriment. How can she have believed that she could do this? What possessed her to even consider this as a viable solution to her problems?

“Maybe this is too much for you to, take in one day” stated Ian.

“I think I might have to agree with you” replied Edgar.

“Let’s call it a day. If you determine that you cannot continue give me a call, let me know. If you want to continue be here next week at the same time. Bring a change of clothes, and whatever toiletries you would bring if you were to spend the night. I do not expect you to, but a shower after we are done would be appropriate” he said with a smile.

She finally broke her silence and asked, “What of Elyse?”

“I would not bother Elyse if you are not sure you want to continue.”

“Okay. I need to use the bathroom.”

Ian pointed to a door a few feet behind him, “its right there.”

She got up and moved towards it, saying thank you to Ian as she passed by. She didn’t really need to use the bathroom, she needed a moment to herself. How naive could she be? All of the new revelations about the job hit her so quickly that she couldn’t keep them straight. She needed the job, but to this extent?

She quickly cleared her mind, focusing on the things that bothered her most. Sex with old people. Could she get past that? Maybe using Edgar’s idea of pretending they are someone else? But that would be another lie, how many would she go through?

She had already accepted that she would have sex with woman. She didn’t like it, but could get past it. But now there was the realization that they could be old. Maybe she could use the same trick with women as she did with the men? Tiffany Amber Thiessen, Carmen Electra, Amy Jo Johnson were all beautiful, maybe she could imagine them?

And what about the penis size thing? How big is big? She shivered slightly as she remembered the pain from Jimmy the first, and only, time she had sex. And if he is average how will she be able to handle a big one?

She wasn’t a racist but not sure she wanted to have sex with a black man. Or should she say African American? Maybe she was a racist?

And what about the orgy? As she thought about it, is being part of an orgy any different than having sex with multiple people at the same time? And isn’t that the same the gang bang?

All of these thoughts ran through her head in an instant. Taken separately these, issues, seemed to be a problem. But if you looked at it in the context of just sex, they were not difficult to get past.

If she can look at sex as unemotional, as Edgar mentioned, than it should be easy to do. Race, age, male, female, orgies, gang bangs, it didn’t matter!

She smiled to herself. She could do this.

When she got back to the dining room and sat down she said, “First off I want to thank you for allowing me into your home and taking the time to talk with me, and discuss the job. Sex, is such a personal subject, and I have had no experience in talking about it, other than when my Mother told me about it. And I know that I am far behind a normal person of my age, and that I am somewhat embarrassed about, but I am a quick study on many subjects and I have every confidence that this endeavor of mine will be successful. That being said, I know I need to be taught about sex, and unlike my parents who learned together, at least that’s what I think, I will need to do this quickly and that have recommended that I find a partner, or partners, to become proficient.”

I will tell you, the last part of the conversation had me, spooked, and I had questioned my decision to take the job, I really did. But, I want to continue. I can, work through, and get past, all of my concerns regarding sex. I can do this because I need to do this, for me, and for my future, and whatever challenge that comes before me I will overcome it.” As she finished talking she realized that the tone in her voice that started softly at the beginning had changed through out to become one of strength and conviction.

Ian was the first to speak, “I believe you.”

The look on Edgar’s face was almost unnerving, almost being the key word. Maybe that’s what he intended to do, but she was steadfast in her resolve and nothing was going to change that. Nothing.

2/15/1992 Roommate Question

She walked into the room and plopped down on the bed as she sighed.

Sharon turned her chair to look at her and asked “So?”

She began taking off her coat and stopped, wrinkled her nose and said, “Uhm, it was, weird.”

She cocked her head sideways and asked, “Weird? In what way?”

She scrunched her face and said, “Well, the trainer, or trainers, are uhm, a gay couple.”

Sharon leaned forward and screamed, “What!?”

Rene laughed as she hung up her coat and sat back on the bed, “Well, the one guy is totally gay, the other is bi. But, yeah, they are going to teach me about sex. How weird is that! Two gay guys are going to teach me about sex!”

She shrugged her shoulders as she replied, “Well, I suppose they would know what guys like. They use the, equipment. Are they, nice?”

She nodded her head, “Yeah. Edgar, the gay one, is kind of, well, he’s nice. And Ian, the bi one, is also nice, good looking, and kind of sexy.”

She sat up and asked, “So, what did you do today?”

“Talked mostly. We discussed what I would, and would not do. People do some really, really, sick things.”

Reluctantly, and softly, Sharon asked, “Uhm, what, you know, do they, do?”

Rene made a face saying, “Disgusting stuff! Like, tying people up, and defecating on them, having sex with animals! Really nasty stuff!”

She made a face as she asked, “You’re not going to do those things are you?”

She sat up straight and strongly said, “NO! Those are the things I’m not going to do. Never EVER going to do!”

She leaned in and asked softly, with a sly smile, “So, what are you going to do?”

Blushing and looking away she said, “Well, regular sex, blow jobs, and uhm, anal.” Why am I so, scared, about doing these things!

Sitting back on her bed she said, “That’s not so bad.”

She looked at her and wrinkled her nose and asked, “Anal? Not bad?”

Defensively Sharon responded, “Well, I’ve done it. Hurt a little at first, but not so bad once he started going.”

“Uhg. I just don’t, get it, is all” she said shaking her head.

Laughing she said, “Well, at least you’re only doing guys.”

“Weeelllllll”

She sat up straight in the bed and said incredulously, “No fucking way! Girls too!?”

Blushing a deep red, “Yeah. I will be meeting my lesbian trainer tomorrow.”

Sharon’s eyes went wide as she said, “Holy shit!”

“Yeah. They also mentioned getting in shape.”

“Shape?!? You’re in great shape!”

Exasperated she said, “That’s what I thought. I’ve taken good care of myself, I watch what I eat, but they mentioned joining a gym that has Yoga and Aerobic exercise programs, and Self Defense course training.” Shaking her head she replied, “Wow, that’s interesting. Yoga, Aerobic, and Self Defense. Anything else?”

With a laugh she said, “Yeah, birth control.”

Chuckling she responded, “That makes sense.”

It got quiet after that, enough was said.

2/16/1992 My Lesbian Teacher

She took the same route as the day before when she went to Edgar and Ian’s home, extending it by a couple of streets as Elyse was just a bit further. Like the day before the homes she passed were nearly the same, slight differences in the style of the windows, the color of the trim, and landscaping, though the area allowed was small, made the symmetry of the rows of houses both enticing and unsettling. Even with the similarities of the homes, finding the home proved easy as she walked up and rang the doorbell.

The door opened revealing an older woman, in her fifties, a few inches shorter than her, and dressed in what best could be described as a duster. Her hair was a light brown with streaks of grey and appeared to be of some length but it was difficult to determine as it was pinned up in the back. Her eyes were a soft brown but she had a look that they could be penetrating if desired.

“May I help you?” asked the woman who opened the door.

“Hi, I am Rene Hewitt and I’m here to see Elyse Sitton.”

A moment passed before the woman smiled politely and said, “It is Hello or Good Morning, not Hi. Hi could be interpreted as an informal greeting or a designation of height. Do not assume that the person you are talking with will be able to deduce your intent. The English language is difficult to understand as there are many different words that sound the same but have different meanings. That being said, good morning I am Elyse Sitton please come in.”

Rene walked into the foyer of the apartment which led to a well-kept home. It was different than Edgar’s and Ian’s place in style but both had an attention to detail that every piece of furniture had been calculated.

“By you coming to my home would indicate that you have accepted the position offered by Mr. Marburry?”

She held herself from nodding her head that would most likely set Elyse off. So, she gathered her thoughts and carefully choose her words saying, “Yes, you are correct, I have accepted the position and I am under the impression that you are to, teach me how to please a woman, as well as etiquette, poise, and how to act as a lady of stature.”

Elyse looked intently at her, studying her face and posture for a full minute or so before saying, “Hmm. I am somewhat opposed to your acceptance of the position.”

She cocked her head and asked, “Why?”

“You clearly lack the prerequisite knowledge to be able to complete the tasks before you embark on your new career” she replied haughtily.

“It is NOT a career” said with a little more forcefully than was necessary.

Through a half smile Elyse asked, “Well what would you call it?”

“A temporary position.”

“A temporary position? An interesting take on the profession of courtesan. Some can never leave the comfort that the position of courtesan provides.”

“Comfort? I’m not sure that I would call what I am to do as comfort.”

“You only see one side of the coin my dear. The position you are to fill is one not only of sex, but of companionship. Your youth will win over those who seek sexual fulfillment, but those seeking companionship will find your inexperience a detriment and will find the experience, lacking.”

“You don’t think I can learn?” she asked incredously.

“I have no idea of what your capabilities are.”

“What? I’m...”

“Close your mouth dear, it might be acceptable from where you come from but here in Washington DC, the capital of the United States, it is very unbecoming of you.”

“Are you testing me?”

“Testing? No, I am not testing you. Testing would require that I evaluate your response and mark it right or wrong. What I am doing is getting to know you and evaluate where you are, emotionally, so I can identify your weaknesses and prepare a plan to elevate your knowledge.”

She said nothing. What was there to say? She did not know who Elyse was or what her plans for her were.

Elyse broke the silence by saying, “You seem confused.”

“I’m not sure what to make of you.”

With a laugh she replied, “You cannot make anything of me my dear.”

“I, uhm, thought you were to teach me about how to make love to a woman.”

With a heavy sigh she replied, “That is one aspect of what I am to do. The other is to provide you an understanding of what a courtesan is, and does.”

“I was not aware that anything other than sex was what I was to learn.”

“You focus too much on one and not enough on the other. To be successful you must not only know about sex, but on how to communicate and listen. Men whom you will date could want no more than to have a companion on his arm for dinner or a gathering of some sort or another who can speak intelligently and not embarrass them. To be what he wants you to be, which is what this profession is all about, will take more than sex, it will take intelligence, wisdom, and knowledge on a wide range of subjects.”

“So, what is it that I am missing?”

And with that Elyse sat back and asked questions covering a wide range of subjects, politics, history, and current events. After an hour the tension that filled the air was gone and Rene felt at ease and relaxed. And as they went into the kitchen to prepare lunch the questions became more personal, where she was from, what are her aspirations, and what sexual experiences she has had.

As Rene told her the short sexual history she found that she was talking matter with ease, without thought or consequence, it caught her by totally by surprise.

After lunch they moved to the living room and sat on the coach to continue their conversation, which Rene was enjoying.

In the middle of answering a question she watched as Elyse moved her hand to her face and slowly caresses her cheek. Startled by Elyse’s advances she stopped talking and looked to her. The look on her face was breathtaking, as the eyes exhibited the smoldering steamy look of a woman who was wanting more than conversation, who wanted to take her sexually.

Elyse smiled and tilted her head slightly and moved her hand to the back of her head and gently pulled Rene towards her. Not knowing what to do she allowed herself to be guided by Elyse, and followed her lead.

As their lips touched her heart raced. She did not focus on the knowledge that this was a woman she was kissing, or that this was the first woman she ever kissed, or that she would be having sex or any of that, she only thought of what she was feeling, not what she was doing.

The kiss lasted a moment before she felt Elyse’s lips part slightly followed by her tongue which slowly and sensually moved over her closed lips, stopping for a moment before it began to push through her enclosed lips. She moaned softly as she opened her lips allowing the probing tongue into her mouth, where the two began a sensual dance as they moved around each other.

As they continued kissing Rene began to succumb to the effects, the telltale signs reminiscent of her first sexual encounter with Jimmy came back to her as her heart began beating harder, her breathing became deeper, and the stirring in her loins sent shivers through her body.

Elyse’s hand, that moments before was massaging the back of her head, moved slowly forward until it stopped at her ear and with a very light touch traced the outline. She moaned slightly as the hand moved from her ear and slid along her jaw before her fingers glided downward onto her neck. Each movement of her fingers was magic upon her skin, sending tiny electrical charges wherever they touched causing her heart to race.

But the hand did not stop on her neck, but continued down until it came to her breast where it stopped and began to gently massage it and knead it, and it was fantastic. She had been felt up before but not like this, not with the passion, or the intensity that she felt. With Jimmy, being the first time that he had touched a breast was clumsy, and while Bruce was experienced, he seemed more interested in his pleasure than in hers. But Elyse was experienced and knew what she was doing.

Her hand moved under her top, continuing with the kneading, until her deft fingers slid inside the cup of her bra and traced around her very erect nipple causing her to moan louder.

As Elyse played with her nipple she stopped kissing her and moved to her neck, and with little lite kisses moved slowly to her ear where she began to nibble on her ear lobe.

“Do you like what I am doing to you?”

Breathing heavily Rene responded, “Oh God yes.”

“Does it bother you that it’s a woman doing this to you?”

She whimpered slightly afraid to answer, but the sensations were overwhelming and forced her to answer, “A little.”

“Do you want me to stop?” she asked.

Her breathing becoming more labored caused her voice to croak out “Oh God no.”

“Do you want more?”

“Yes” she begged.

The hand that was playing with her breasts moved downward slowly until it reached her pants, where she deftly undid the button and unzipped the pants. She felt the fingers slide effortlessly past the top part of her panties only to stop and toy with her pubic hair.

“If you want me to continue we will need to get you out of your jeans and panties.”

Without a seconds thought, Rene quickly stood up and removed the articles of clothing that were inhibiting Elyse, as well as her shoes and socks, and as she was about to sit down Elyse stopped her and pulled her forward onto her. She quickly followed her direction and placed her knees on either side of Elyse, and without being asked or directed she placed her hands on Elyses head closed her eyes and leaned forward and resumed kissing.

She felt Elyses hands glide over her breasts as they moved down the front of her body, stopping at the bottom of her shirt before moving upwards underneath. What was heaven before was now doubled as both hands began kneading her breasts and pinching her nipples through her bra causing her to moan loudly into Elyses mouth.

A moment later a hand moved around behind her and undid her bra, and in unison both hands began playing with her breasts unencumbered causing her first orgasm. In the throes of her orgasm Elyse broke the kiss and pulled her in and whispered in her ear, “My oh my, and I have just begun. Just wait there’s more.”

Breathing heavily and through gasps she said, “It was never like this before.” Just the thought of what was to come sent her over the edge onto her second orgasm as she held Elyse tightly.

When her orgasm subsided Elyse asked, “Why don’t you remove you shirt and bra?”

She slowly sat back on Elyses lap and pulled the shirt over her head followed by the bra. Through half closed eyes she could see Elyse looking over her body before saying, “Well you certainly have very sensitive breasts.”

“I never knew that.”

“Or maybe you are overly aroused with your first time being with a woman? Have you had an orgasm from breast play only in the past?”

“No never.”

“Well, let us see how you are with other, manipulation” as she leaned forward and kissed her breast, leaving the nipple alone.

Rene placed her hands on Elyses shoulders to hold herself steady as the kisses moved from one breast to the other waiting for the kisses to land on her nipples which were aching for attention. Her eyes still closed, she felt a light kiss on her left nipple, followed by a kiss on the right nipple, and then it went back and forth slowly, between the two until she felt a tongue trace the outline of her aureole, and slowly moving in wards until it landed upon her hard nipple. As the tongue circled and flicked over the one nipple she felt fingers playing with the other.

Lost in the feelings caused by Elyse’s playing with her nipples and breast and gasped out, “Oh God Elyse, what you’re doing feels so good.”

She momentarily stopped flicking her tongue over a very erect nipple she said, “If that feels great, how about this?”

And with that Rene felt a finger began making circles around the outer lips of her vagina, tantalizing her to no end as well as causing her entire body to shiver and shake with excitement.

Elyse whispered “You are so wet” as she moved to the other nipple.

She didn’t want to hear what she was saying, she didn’t want to know, she just wanted her to continue what she was doing. She spread her knees as far apart as she could to allow Elyse better access to her, which caused the lips of her pussy’s to spread exposing her clitoris, which Elyse began to gently rub.

The moan started out low and continued as Elyse slowly moved her finger every except to her clit. Rene’s heart raced and her breathing came faster and deeper in anticipation of the pleasure that she would receive when Elyse played with her clit. And though it was only seconds it felt like hours before Elyse lightly touched her clit.

And that was it as Rene went into the most powerful orgasm in her life. She wrapped her arms around Elyses head mashing it into her breasts as she let out with a groan that bordered on a scream, as she rode out the orgasm.

After her first orgasm she felt Elyse move her fingers over her clit until the palm of her hand covered it. And ever so slowly she felt a finger making circles around the opening of her pussy. It circled a few times before it slid in, but not far. She let out a groan and tried to lower herself to get more of her finger, but Elyse wouldn’t allow it, and kept her fingers for going in further.

She felt Elyse playfully bite her nipple which sent shivers through out her body, and when she went to the other nipple she moved the finger deeper, only to pull it out as she moaned, but she moaned louder when the finger slid back in, a little bit deeper this time as Elyse rubbed her palm against her clit.

And that’s how it went, the slow movement of Elyses finger in and out of her pussy, deeper each time, and with a her palm rubbing her clit, all the while her Elyse sucking, licking, and biting her hard nipples. While all this was going on Elyse moved her other hand to her back, where it lingered briefly before moving down to cup her firm but cheek.

Rene began to get into a rhythm set by Elyse, moving her hips to meet the fingers that were moving in and out her. The hand on her cheek moved farther down, and one of the fingers slipped into her pussy at the same time the other was moving out, bit this finger went deep, deeper than the other. And keeping it in rhythm it slipped out as the other went in.

The rhythm never broke and when the finger in her pussy slipped out the other finger didn’t move in her pussy, but moved over her cheek not stopping until the wet finger gently rubbed against her anus. Rene clenched her but and sat up slightly, denying access to Elyse.

The tenseness lasted only a moment as she again let herself go into the rhythm set by Elsye, which was steadily increasing, along with the depth that Elyse’s finger went. As the pace picked up so did her approaching orgasm, she leaned forward pressing her breasts into Elyse.

She groaned out, “Oh Elyse, I am so close”

Elyse did not respond, at least not verbally, but the she did feel the finger again rubbing against her anus. This time she didn’t tense up, but thrust her but back onto the finger, she trusted Elyse, she didn’t think that she would do something that would be harmful to her.

The finger rubbing against her anus slowly pushed in and stopped. But the movement of her hips drew the finger deeper into her, and after only a few thrusts of her hips the finger was moving with ease, and in a short amount of time it fell into the rhythm with the other finger moving in and out of her pussy.

It was now becoming too much for her, the orgasm was almost there and her moaning went to a guttural pleading as she yelled out, “Oh God Elyse, your fingers are driving me crazy!”

Elyse broke her silence, “You like my fingers.”

Panting she replied, “Oh God yes.”

She felt hot breath against her ear before Elyse asked her softly, “Where are they?”

What was happening to her? This, talking dirty, was getting her hotter, if that was possible. Pushing the embarrassment away she replied, “Oh shit, one is in my pussy.”

Elyses lips brushed up against her ear as she asked, “What about the other.”

She blushed deeply as she said, “It’s in my, butt.”

She felt Elyse run her tongue over her ear, “Do you like my finger in your pussy?”

“I love it” she moaned.

Elyse nibbled on her ear lobe and asked, “Do you like the way my finger is fucking your pussy?”

“Yes” she croaked out.

Elyse continued to kiss and nibble on her ear as she said, “Say it.”

“I love the way your finger is fucking my pussy” Rene groaned unabashedly.

“Do you like my finger in your ass?”

She was so embarrassed because she REALLY liked how Elyse’s finger felt in her ass. “Oh God...”

She softly asked, “If you don’t like it, I can take it out?”

As her body rocked between the assault on pussy and ass she groaned out, “No. Please don’t. Oh God...”

She took her earlobe between her teeth and bit it gently before sucking on it. While still holding her lobe between her teeth she asked, “So you like it?”

Her body was now rocking almost uncontrollably as she groaned out, “Yeesss!”

“Say it”

For some reason she felt herself turning a bright red but replied, “I love the way your finger is fucking my ass” she let out, almost as if she was crying.

“Do you want to cum?”

“Yeesss!”

“Say it.”

She groaned out a weak response, “I want to cum.”

“Say please.”

“What?”

“Say please.”

Softly she replied, “Please make me cum!”

“What did you say?”

With a scream, “Please. Uh, please make me cum!”

And the pace picked up and in a moment the orgasm took over her as she convulsed on top of Elyse. But it didn’t stop, the fingers in her pussy and ass began to move faster and faster throwing her into another orgasm, followed by another, and another, until it was one continuous orgasm, never stopping, she road that one continuous orgasm for what seemed like hours. But as the orgasm ended the finger in her ass slipped out as she felt herself being moved off Elyse and onto the coach. The finger in her pussy stayed though it was no longer moving in and out, it was moving in circles with in her, keeping the orgasm alive but not pushing her into another.

Elyse moved towards her and kissed her. She accepted the kiss and opened her mouth as they once again moved their tongues around each other lovingly. The movement of the finger in her pussy stopped and slipped out.

“I take it you enjoyed your first time with a woman.”

Catching her breath she said, “Oh, did I ever.”

“Was it, what you expected?”

“No, not in the least.”

“Why?”

She hesitated, and held back how she felt so as not to insult Elyse.

“You can be honest with me. In fact I would insist on it.”

“Well, uhm”

“Rene, I am here to help you, and I can only do that if you are open and honest.”

Shaking her head she said, “You might not like my answer.”

She patted her on the leg and said, “What I like or dislike is my concern, not yours. We are here to help you and not me.”

She felt somewhat ashamed as she said, “Well, I was afraid that it would gross me out.”

Elyse sat back and asked, “So did it”

“No. No it didn’t. You wanted honesty, right?”

Nodding her head Elyse said, “Yes.”

“Okay, so, with the situation I am in, I really didn’t have a choice. Looking at it, there were two options, the first was basically leave school, because I couldn’t pay for it, and tell my parents what had happened. This option allows me to continue with school and keep what happened from my parents.”

Rene shook her head no, “I can’t. If I did they would insist that I come home, and, I just can’t do that.”

“I see your predicament.”

“Yes, especially the sex stuff. I was never into the sex thing, I was not really saving myself for marriage or anything religious. It just seemed a little, complicated, and taxing, and not really worth my time. I mean I was so focused on my education that I didn’t want anything to screw it up. Where I live is a rural area, not that there is anything wrong with that, but it’s my parents life, not mine. And if I had to go back because I failed or because of what got me into this situation, well, I know I wouldn’t have a future back home, at least not what I would call a future. I am not putting down my parents, or their way of life, or the choices they made, it was fine for them and I mean no disrespect, it’s just not what I want for me. And if I went back home I would probably be stuck there.”

“So, getting back to your question, it didn’t matter if I liked it or didn’t, that I enjoyed it was a benefit, but there really wasn’t a choice to make, I had to suck it up and do it.”

There was silence as Elyse seemed to ponder what she had just said. Finally she said, “There is more to it than what just happened.”

“Yea, I know. I mean yes, I know.”

“And it’s possible that you may find something that is, unappealing.”

Nodding in agreement she said, “There is that.”

“So, what will you do?”

“What I am supposed to do. But, that doesn’t mean that I’ll like it. I believe that, what I do for this job, is not necessarily what I’d do in my personal life, or who I am.”

“A wise way of looking at things, separating your personal life from your professional.”

“It was Edgar’s idea, and it has helped me to, get past what I will be doing. Meaning that if I do it in my professional life it doesn’t mean that is who I am.”

“Like a lesbian?”

“Well, yes. Not that there’s anything wrong with being a lesbian, it’s just not who I am.”

“Such as a soldier not being a murderer.”

“Well, yes.”

She spread her hands open as she said, “But, the soldier still took a life, and it may affect him deeply.”

She felt a hand on her knee, “Rene, I don’t mean to confuse you, or turn you into a lesbian or a bisexual, that is not what I am trying to do, but Edgar’s philosophy truly misses the mark. You are what you do regardless of the reasons, and if what you are doing is inconsistent with whom you are, you will have conflict in your life and you will struggle with it whenever you confront that inconsistency. Today, right now, you must open your eyes and see what you are doing now, and what you will be doing in the future, because at some point you will open your eyes and see clearly what it is that you have done and you might not be able to handle it. Time is not a healing matter in this regard; time does not heal all wounds, it may lessen the pain, or allow you to, shield yourself from it. But only with acceptance will you truly be able to see it for what it is, and save yourself.”

“But”

Shaking her head, Elyse continued, “No Rene, there are no buts. Don’t let yourself be sucked into the old I’ll be fine as long as I don’t think about what I’m doing, it doesn’t work. Believe me, there is a price for it. Everything you do, good or bad, has a price. Getting married, having children, drinking and driving, unprotected sex, all of it. These are things that people do, good and decent people, and the repercussions are the price they pay. I’ve done all of those things and I live with the consequences every day. In the beginning, I had reasoned away what I had done, but as time went passed, I came to realize how wrong I was. But the part that was truly troubling was that I knew this at the beginning.”

“What happened?”

“I had inklings that I was different, that I preferred woman. My parents were concerned that I wasn’t dating and broached the subject with me, I was able to deflect them, and each time that they brought it up until well into my second year at the university, when I couldn’t do it no more as they put their foot down, so to speak. They said that I was well past the age when dating should have begun. I love my parents, and was conflicted by what I knew about myself and the concern they had for me. It caused me many a night sleeplessness as I tried to find a solution to my dilemma, which had nothing to do with dating but with my sexual orientation, or more to the point, telling my parents of who I am.

“I decided to date, and put off for a time telling my parents of why I had not dated for so long. In my Senior year I met a man who was everything my parents told me would be a good catch, and over Christmas break he asked me to marry him and I accepted. Flushed with the excitement we made love, without protection. One time is all it took and we married soon after I discovered I was pregnant. My parents were upset with me, that I was promiscuous and allowed myself to be, impregnated. But, that all went to the wayside as the excitement of the new life came closer, and with a lot of help from our families, I was able to finish school and graduate.”

“In August I had a beautiful baby boy, Allen Robert Stinson III. Two years later I gave birth to Allison Wilamina Stinson, and a year after that John Michael Stinson. My parents were so happy, and I was as well, but there was something that was not, right.”

“On our fifth anniversary things began to fray at the edges. Robert was working all the time and our children were very young, all three under five years of age, and quite a handful. I had begun to question the decisions I had made, buyer’s remorse most likely, and it was at that point that I began to see things a little differently. The children were not the problem, nor the long hours that Robert was putting in at work, but the loneliness that I felt. Allen also had those same feelings, as I came to have found out later.”

“In any case, the children became my life, which I was okay with as I loved them and since I helped bring them into this world, I believed very strongly that I owed it to them to raise them the best I could. But, as I said, by the time of our fifth anniversary came around things began to fray and neither of us, so focused on what was important to each of us but not to both of us, drifted apart, looking to fix what was broken without looking to each other.”

“At his Company’s Christmas party I found him with another woman, whom I later found to be his Mistress. Part of me was furious, but another was relieved. I had suspected as much as we had sex but once a month, a fact that didn’t cause me ill will at all. I walked back to the party and proceeded to work my way into a drunken stupor. And that is how we coped, He had affairs and I began drinking.”

“The next few years we stayed together by looking past the failings of the other, which was not at all healthy. Drifting apart, as we both were doing, distorted who we were when we married, I was not an alcoholic nor was he a philanderer, but time and circumstance provided us the opportunity to go down that path. Were there other options before us? Yes. Did we take them? No.”

“By the time our tenth anniversary came around, I had let myself go, gaining thirty pounds and was not taking good care of myself as I should have, and Allen had gone through several women, and a few bouts of STD’s, nothing I had to worry about thankfully. It was at this time that I began a friendship with my neighbor Arlene, a woman of my age going through a similar situation as I, her crutch being prescription medication. In a short amount of time we became close and began a sexual relationship.”

“It was then that my life began to come together. I realized that my issues with Allen were rooted in my past, that I had caused it by living the life of my parents and not my own. As my relationship with Arlene continued to grow and our feelings became more intense we both believed it best that we should keep our newfound love for one another from our perspective spouses until the children had grown up and moved onto their own lives, at which time we would move on with our own. That, as simple as it could be, was more than a challenge to follow.”

“Discontent and mistrust further eroded what was left of our marriage. Both of us were just following blindly, no real direction, no plans, just living, if that is what one would call it. My resentment of his infidelities had waned over the years to the point that I did not care, but when I began the relationship with Arlene, I began to feel guilty. And as the months passed it began to consume me which led to the day of the accident.”

“With the children in school we would, more often than not, have sex in the morning and go out to lunch. It worked well and we were both looking forward to our time together. But, as I said, guilt got to me and I began drinking again, and after lunch on of those days I went through a stop sign and was broadsided. I made it through okay but Arlene was injured, requiring her to be taken to the hospital. Arlene is a very, passionate person and dresses the part at times, that day was one of those days, and when her husband arrived at the hospital, well he put it all together, well everything except for who. And when that came out, well, all hell broke loose.”

“The ensuing divorce between Arlene and her husband started off ugly and only got worse as it progressed. For Allen the revelation of my infidelity was not unexpected, but because it was with a woman caused much discomfort, seems the thought of being a cuckold was replaced by the thought that a woman was a better lover than he was. He did not understand the concept of preferring a woman to a man, though you would think that he should have. In any case, we sat down and discussed what it was that we wanted, as individuals not as a couple, and it became clear that it was not each other. The main issue that we did agree on was that the Children were of most importance, and since we have been living together but as separate individuals we decided that we would continue as such until after the last had went off to college. After that we would go our separate ways.”

“That agreement sealed the fate of my relationship with Arlene. After her divorce she wanted to begin a new life with me, not waiting for the children to finish school. I loved her and I wanted to be with her, but I couldn’t leave my children, nor would I allow my children to be separated from their father. So, Arlene broke it off and moved to New York, and I never saw her again.

“So what happened with Allen? I take it you did divorce?”

“Yes, as we agreed upon, when John went away to College we divorced. I received this house and a nice monthly alimony, more than enough for me to live comfortably on. Allen and I have a good relationship and speak often, he has not remarried, not that there haven’t been several close calls over the years, and the children have accepted who I am. Life is good.”

“Have you met anyone?”

Her eyes bore the sadness of loss of one that was close, “Candace, her name was Candace. We met shortly after the divorce. She, passed away, six months ago.”

Feeling awkward at intruding in her personal life she softly responded, “I’m sorry.”

“Thank you, but, well, life is like that. Take what you can get, be who you are, never compromise. That has been my mantra since the divorce and it is what I live by, that is why I tell you to accept what you are to do, what you will become, even if it is for a short time. I spent a portion of my life being something that I’m not. I knew there was something about me that was different than others, but I did nothing about it and lived as something that I was not. This is not like I bought a wrong blouse, or I should have majored in business law, this is something that goes to the core of who you are.”

“I think we are done for the day. If this time is a good for you come back this time next week. Bring a change of clothes, and some toiletries and such, never want to get on the bus smelling of sexual desire.”

As quickly as it had started it had ended. Rene got dressed hugged Elyse and head back to the dorm. As she rode the subway back she reflected on what happened this day, and what a day it had been. The sex was great, but it wasn’t the most important part of the day, that had to have been Elyse’s view on what she was doing, and for the most part she found it, disturbing.

She liked what Edgar had said, that by doing these sexual things they were not who she was. She looked at it like playing a role, as an actress might, and if an actress played a high class hooker, did that make HER a hooker? No that didn’t, she was just playing a role. Just as she would. Well, to a point anyway, the actress isn’t having sex.

But still, that is NOT who she was!

But Elyse changed that. She had pointed out, and very convincingly, that your actions make who you are, who you are. IF you had sex out of marriage you were a slut, if you slept with someone for money you were a hooker, and if you had sex with a woman you were a lesbian. It was all very clear, and very disturbing.

She didn’t think of herself as slut, or a hooker, or a lesbian, but if she continued she knew that was what she was going to be, no matter how many different ways she tried looking at it, that was what she was going to be, a slut, a hooker, and a lesbian.

And for all of that she still couldn’t wrap her mind around what that meant to her, or how it would impact her life, her future, her sanity. It was all put aside, buried deep and far away inside of her. Her education was the most important thing in her life. And nothing was going to get in her way. Nothing.

2/16/1992 Roommate

She sat in silence on the way home as her mind ran through the conversations she had with Elyse. Everything that Elyse said was true, by doing the things she would need to do would make her a lesbian. Or at least bi. There was no getting around it, no matter which way she looked at it. But, what Edgar said was also true, even though she would do things that would be considered lesbian, she, her true self would not be.

She understood both sides, and knew that she would need to follow one or the other, but she was not sure where she would stand. The thought of being a lesbian, or bisexual, was not repugnant to her. Nor was the thought of being with a girl, though she was not truly convinced in that.

She put that aside for a moment and thought; if she had never gotten into this situation would she ever had remotely thought of being with a girl? Since the thought never really entered her mind before, which was not a great surprise, she would have to say no, she would never have been with a girl. With that decided she couldn’t see herself as being bisexual. So she could see herself following along with what Edgar said.

It was all about the situation she was in, and to her the ends justified the means. And if she had to do things that were not part of who she was before all of this started, it will most definitely be part of her in the future. She is what she is. But she does not think she is bi. She shook her head as she thought, you are who you are. Yes, that’s it! But not if you don’t think you are what you do. Unless what you do makes you who you are.

And the wheels on the bus go round and round...

She just couldn’t decide what she was as both views had their merits. If she accepted the premise that by doing what she had to do would make her bi, even though she felt she wasn’t, she could live with that. But she also felt that by doing, woman, would make her bi.

Why was this so difficult! Hell, she came to terms very quickly on being a whore, why should the question of being bi put her in such a quandary?

She walked into the room and sighed as she plopped down on the bed, again.

Sharon swung her chair away from her desk and asked “So what happened? How was it?”

She thought about how to answer that question for a moment before saying, “You know, I’m not sure.”

Sharon looked at her funny and asked, “What do you mean?”

“Well, Elyse is a nice person that’s for sure.”

Sharon leaned forward and said, “And?”

She blushed as she said, “Well, I definitely know what an orgasm is” adding a nervous laugh to the end.

Sharon grinned and said, “It was great, right?”

Nodding her head Rene said, “Yes they were.”

With a smile emerging on her face Sharon asked, “They?”

She blushed as she said, “Well, yeah, I had a bunch of them, and in one sense it’s kind of disturbing.”

Incredulously she asked, “What? Why?”

She shrugged as she ashamedly replied, “Because a woman gave them to me.”

Sharon sat back and said, “Yeah, I can see that. So, what did you do?”

She shook her head no, “Nothing. She did it to me.”

Sharon smiled as she replied, “So, no clams for you?”

She laughed as she rolled her eyes and said, “Nope, no clams for me, still straight. At least for now.”

*****JAPJAPJAP Need Date

On Tuesday Rene called Tracy, Mr. Marburry’s Personal Assistant, and asked about seeing a Gynecologist to get birth control, Tracy gave her the phone number for Dr. Alyshia Stengman, that she should call her tomorrow afternoon for an appointment.

She also asked Tracy if there was a good gym around Georgetown that had Yoga, Aerobic, and Self Defense classes. Tracy laughed and asked if it was Edgar’s idea as he was always on about taking care of oneself, to which she laughed and said yes. She gave her the address and number for RJ’s Gym, a neighborhood gym that is popular in the area, and told her to ask for JR when she went to sign-up.

*****JAPJAPJAP Need Date She called Dr. Alyshia Stengman the following afternoon and was surprised that she had an appointment that evening at 6pm, if she could make it, which she jumped at the chance to get in so quickly.

Dr. Stengman was an older woman of mixed heritage; she drew blood to do a work up, gave her a thorough physical, and prescribed birth control for her.

The following day she went to RJ’s Gym, it was a neighborhood icon that’s been around for years started by a Husband and Wife team, Randi and James Harris, hence the RJ. When walking in Rene was surprised to see that the gym was decorated and supplied with state of the equipment, and staffed by people across a wide range of ages and race.

She stopped at the front desk and the woman behind it asked, “Can I help you?”

“Yes, I’m looking for RJ?”

The woman turned to her right and called out to the back room, “RJ, you have a visitor.”

A woman in her 30’s in a tight light blue yoga outfit walked came from the back and said, “Can I help you?”

“Hi RJ, I’m Rene Hewitt. Tracy Alexander gave me your name to, uhm, setup my membership?”

She smiled brightly, “Oh yeah, Tracy mentioned you would be stopping by, come on in the back and we will get you all setup.”

Over the next thirty minutes JR setup Rene for a full membership allowing her to use all of the exercise equipment, access to the pool, hot tub, and sauna, unlimited access to all workout programs, and weekly access to a fitness consultant/trainer. When Rene asked about the cost JR said that Tracy told her to charge it to her business account.

Before leaving, JR set setup a meeting with a personal trainer to do an evaluation this Thursday evening with classes beginning the following week, Aerobics on Mondays and Wednesdays and Yoga classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Rene thought it was a bit too much with her just beginning but if it was too much she could drop to one day a week for each.

As she was leaving RJ recommended getting some clothes that were conducive to whatever training and exercises that she was planning to do, as well as a swimsuit for the pool.

Rene thanked JR for her help and went back to the dorm trying to figure out how she would pay for the membership and the workout clothes she would need. A good day, but with some roughness to it.

*****JAPJAPJAP Need Date Wednesday after classes Sharon accompanied Rene to buy new, inexpensive, workout clothes for the gym, and a couple of one piece swimsuits for the pool, and a bikini for, well, just because. Sharon had pushed her for getting only bikini’s while Rene was pretty well set on one piece for modesty, but the more she thought about it the more she realized how stupid that was. Modesty! Like she was going to have THAT for much longer.

Thursday after classes she focused on getting her homework out of the way before going to the cafeteria for a light dinner with Sharon. After dinner she showered and got dressed for her evaluation at the gym.

Walking out of the dorms dressed in her workout clothes was a bit awkward for her, her normal clothes were not as form fitting as the leotard and even with a jacket on she could feel people staring at her, even if they weren’t. But riding on the subway just made her feel almost naked as strangers began leering at her as they checked her out. She couldn’t wait to get off the subway, and when she did she looked around her for sleazy sex addicts to make sure they weren’t following her.

She made it safely to the gym and met up a personal trainer to begin her evaluation. The personal trainer assigned to her was named Ray, a Hispanic a few years older than she and was by all appearances physically fit.

He started off with establishing her BMI, Body Mass Index, and is used to find out if a person is underweight, normal weight, overweight, or obese. She was pretty sure she was normal, maybe even underweight, and when Ray told her she had a BMI of 19.7, which was normal, she felt relieved.

Ray asked several questions about physical activity such as exercising, walking, and swimming. After taking her blood pressure and heart rate the true evaluation began.

First off was a muscular endurance test whose goal is to complete as many repetitions as possible at a cadence of 30 repetitions per minute of her lifting a 25-lb. barbell. After 25 she stopped and Ray said she did very good.

After this test, the next was Cardiorespiratory Health, where they would calculate her V02 max, or the use of oxygen by the muscles during exercise. Rene was directed to a room along the side of the gym, once inside there was a treadmill and a machine with a large hose attached and several wires along with it. Ray proceeded to attach the wires and hose to her mouth, and after getting a reading on the machine he had her begin walking on the treadmill, slowly at first until she was in a good pace. She ran for five minutes before Ray began stepping down the speed until it was finally turned off.

Removing the hose and wires she was taken to another room where her Flexibility was tested, this would provide them with what range of motion around a joint she had. They had her do several stretches, arms, legs, and torso, which were much easier than any of the tests she had completed so far.

Once done Ray began to talk to her about the results of the tests, which were all good, and asked what her goals were. This stumped her. All that Edgar had said was to get in shape and get a toned body, and if she was in good shape what more could there be for her to attain?

Seeing her confusion Ray went through the most common options. First is just maintaining your look, so basic maintenance. This would require working out in the gym once or twice a week while doing some routines at home.

Second getting your body toned to get better definition or working on some areas that you think need help. Common areas are arms, legs, abs, buttocks and such, and depending on how quickly you want to get to that point would dictate how often you would come to the gym and how much you would workout at home.

Third is cardio work. This would work your heart but not anything else, though you would see benefits in the workout, it is primarily for stamina, and is good if you are thinking of running marathons or triathlons.

Lastly, is strength conditioning, which would give you a muscular physic, like muscle builders. I pretty sure that’s not what you are looking for but I mention it anyway just to make sure.

With a good understanding of the different options Rene told Ray that she would select toning. There was nothing wrong with being muscular or getting in shape to run a marathon, they just didn’t suit her needs.

Ray setup a schedule for her and on her first day would provide her a workout schedule for the gym and at home. She thanked Ray for his help and went back to the dorm in serious need of a shower, which felt good against her hard worked body.

*****JAPJAPJAP Need Date On Monday Rene called Tracy, Mr. Marburry’s Personal Assistant, and asked about seeing a Gynecologist to get birth control, Tracy gave her the phone number for Dr. Alyshia Stengman, that she should call her tomorrow afternoon for an appointment.

She also asked Tracy if there was a good gym around Georgetown that had Yoga, Aerobic, and Self Defense classes. Tracy laughed and asked if it was Edgar’s idea as he was always on about taking care of oneself, to which she laughed and said yes. She gave her the address and number for RJ’s Gym, a neighborhood gym that is popular in the area, and told her to ask for JR when she went to sign-up.

*****JAPJAPJAP Need Date

Tuesday she called Dr. Alyshia Stengman and was surprised that she had an appointment that evening at 6pm, if she could make it, which she jumped at the chance to get in so quickly.

Dr. Stengman was an older woman of mixed heritage; she drew blood to do a work up, gave her a thorough physical, and prescribed birth control for her.

Wednesday she went to RJ’s Gym, it was a neighborhood icon that’s been around for years started by a Husband and Wife team, Randi and James Randall, hence the RJ. When walking in Rene was surprised to see that the gym was decorated and supplied with state of the equipment, and staffed by people across a wide range of ages and race.

She stopped at the front desk and the woman behind it asked, “Can I help you?”

“Yes, I’m looking for RJ?”

The woman turned to her right and called out to the back room, “RJ, you have a visitor.”

A woman in her 30’s in a tight light blue yoga outfit walked came from the back and said, “Can I help you?”

“Hi RJ, I’m Rene Hewitt. Tracy Alexander gave me your name to, uhm, setup my membership?”

She smiled brightly, “Oh yeah, Tracy mentioned you would be stopping by, come on in the back and we will get you all setup.”

Over the next thirty minutes JR setup Rene for a full membership allowing her to use all of the exercise equipment, access to the pool, hot tub, and sauna, unlimited access to all workout programs, and weekly access to a fitness consultant/trainer. When Rene asked about the cost JR said that Tracy told her to charge it to her business account. Before leaving, JR set setup a meeting with a personal trainer to do an evaluation this Thursday evening with classes beginning the following week, Aerobics on Mondays and Wednesdays and Yoga classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Rene thought it was a bit too much with her just beginning but if it was too much she could drop to one day a week for each.

As she was leaving RJ recommended getting some clothes that were conducive to whatever training and exercises that she was planning to do, as well as a swimsuit for the pool.

Rene thanked JR for her help and went back to the dorm trying to figure out how she would pay for the membership and the workout clothes she would need. A good day, but with some roughness to it.


When she got back to the dorm she asked Sharon to help buy new, inexpensive, workout clothes for the gym, and a couple of one piece swimsuits for the pool, and a bikini for, well, just because. Sharon had pushed her for getting only bikini’s while Rene was pretty well set on one piece for modesty, but the more she thought about it the more she realized how stupid that was. Modesty! Like she was going to have THAT for much longer.

When they got back from shopping she focused on getting her homework out of the way before going to the cafeteria for a light dinner with Sharon. After dinner she showered and got dressed for her evaluation at the gym.

Walking out of the dorms dressed in her workout clothes was a bit awkward for her, her normal clothes were not as form fitting as the leotard and even with a jacket on she could feel people staring at her, even if they weren’t. But riding on the subway just made her feel almost naked as strangers began leering at her as they checked her out. She couldn’t wait to get off the subway, and when she did she looked around her for sleazy sex addicts to make sure they weren’t following her.

She made it safely to the gym and met up a personal trainer to begin her evaluation. The personal trainer assigned to her was named Ray, a Hispanic a few years older than she and was by all appearances physically fit.

He started off with establishing her BMI, Body Mass Index, and is used to find out if a person is underweight, normal weight, overweight, or obese. She was pretty sure she was normal, maybe even underweight, and when Ray told her she had a BMI of 19.7, which was normal, she felt relieved.

Ray asked several questions about physical activity such as exercising, walking, and swimming. After taking her blood pressure and heart rate the true evaluation began.

First off was a muscular endurance test whose goal is to complete as many repetitions as possible at a cadence of 30 repetitions per minute of her lifting a 25-lb. barbell. After 25 she stopped and Ray said she did very good.

After this test, the next was Cardiorespiratory Health, where they would calculate her V02 max, or the use of oxygen by the muscles during exercise. Rene was directed to a room along the side of the gym, once inside there was a treadmill and a machine with a large hose attached and several wires along with it. Ray proceeded to attach the wires and hose to her mouth, and after getting a reading on the machine he had her begin walking on the treadmill, slowly at first until she was in a good pace. She ran for five minutes before Ray began stepping down the speed until it was finally turned off.

Removing the hose and wires she was taken to another room where her Flexibility was tested, this would provide them with what range of motion around a joint she had. They had her do several stretches, arms, legs, and torso, which were much easier than any of the tests she had completed so far.

Once done Ray began to talk to her about the results of the tests, which were all good, and asked what her goals were. This stumped her. All that Edgar had said was to get in shape and get a toned body, and if she was in good shape what more could there be for her to attain?

Seeing her confusion Ray went through the most common options. First is just maintaining your look, so basic maintenance. This would require working out in the gym once or twice a week while doing some routines at home.

Second getting your body toned to get better definition or working on some areas that you think need help. Common areas are arms, legs, abs, buttocks and such, and depending on how quickly you want to get to that point would dictate how often you would come to the gym and how much you would workout at home.

Third is cardio work. This would work your heart but not anything else, though you would see benefits in the workout, it is primarily for stamina, and is good if you are thinking of running marathons or triathlons.

Lastly, is strength conditioning, which would give you a muscular physic, like muscle builders. I pretty sure that’s not what you are looking for but I mention it anyway just to make sure.

With a good understanding of the different options Rene told Ray that she would select toning. There was nothing wrong with being muscular or getting in shape to run a marathon, they just didn’t suit her needs.

Ray setup a schedule for her and on her first day would provide her a workout schedule for the gym and at home. She thanked Ray for his help and went back to the dorm in serious need of a shower, which felt good against her hard worked body.

Friday was her day to DO everything that she did not get to during the week, such as homework that was due next week, studying for the tests next week, and laundry. By the time 10pm came around she collapsed in bed and was in lala land in moments.

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