Chapter 29: Nathaniel

After an eternity of lavishing attention on her neck, her ears, and the delightful dip between her collar bones, he returned to her lips, gentling the kiss until he pulled away, touching his forehead to hers instead. He rolled to one side, propping himself on one elbow to look down at her, running his hand from her shoulder, down her arm, until he found her hand, loosely draped across her belly. “Lel—”

Whatever he’d planned to say was interrupted by the noisy grumbling of her stomach, and she giggled even as she flushed with embarrassment. He smirked, but without a word, reached over, grabbed the nearest plate and inched it closer, before breaking off a morsel of meat from the thick slice she’d prepared from him, and feeding it to her. She watched his face closely, still pink, her expression apprehensive, but she accepted the bite anyway and chewed carefully. He studied her as she swallowed, admiring the scattered freckles across her nose, the strands of flame-red hair that fell across her forehead, the muscles moving in her neck as she swallowed. He continued feeding her, stealing the odd bite for himself, both of them lying in complete silence, never looking away. When both plates were empty, he pushed them away, kissed her softly, and then struggled up to his knees beside her.

He sighed, unable to remain quiet – even when he knew he should. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” She flushed again and sat up, reaching for him; he took her hand and brought it to his lips for a soft kiss. “Between my family history and my own past ... I’m no prize. And being with me extends the target painted on me to you.”

She opened her mouth to object, but he held up his hand, and she paused. “Despite that, even knowing I should ... I can’t walk away from you. You mean too much to me.” He swallowed. “So if you don’t ... if you ... well.” He cleared his throat. “Now is the time you should tell me, if you don’t want this. Because otherwise I want ... I would like...”

It was her turn to stop him, putting a slender finger over his lips with a smile. “I’m not going anywhere. We both have complicated pasts. I don’t care – and I can take care of myself.”

He nodded, his palms slick with sweat, his heart beating too fast in his ears. “Leliana ... I would like to ... that is, I was wondering...”

She giggled, the sound rich and lush, setting his nerves on fire. “Nathaniel. Unless I’m much mistaken, one of us no longer has a tent or a bedroll, yes? You gave up yours, silly man, and haven’t taken it back, nor have you arranged for another.” Her smile was soft, and she toned down her amusement as his face reddened. When he looked down at his knees, avoiding her gaze, she squeezed his hand. “Will you share with me tonight? Tomorrow you can make whatever arrangements you wish, but tonight, will you stay with me?”

Her expression was hopeful, but not without her own subtle signs of insecurity. Her shoulders were tense, the hand he wasn’t holding clenched tight. It gutted him that she could be so uncertain. How could she, of all people, doubt that any man would jump at her offer? Never mind him, the pariah of Ferelden, the son of a mass murderer and traitor? His instinct told him to walk away, that she would be better off without him. But he hadn’t been lying; he couldn’t, not if his life depended on it.

“Leliana.” Her name was like a prayer on his lips, and when he reached out to lift her chin with his finger, she rolled to her knees gracefully and came to him, meeting him in the middle, tilting her lips up to accept the kiss he couldn’t stop himself from bestowing on her. And then her arms were around his neck, her tongue teasing his lower lip, and he groaned and gave himself up to the feel, the taste of her, the anticipation of more to come.