Chapter 44: Shelly Armstrong

I first met Shelly Armstrong after Emily had agreed to take the case. Em explained that it was a chance to gut shoot a sitting judge. No other PI in the Triangle Area would touch the case. Of that I was sure. They had no desire to piss off a sitting judge. One who might rule on a case they had worked. It was a quick way to end up on the unemployed line. Since we had no business yet, and our rice bowl didn’t depend on the PI business, Em had decided, for us both, that we would take it. Her visit to Siler City was to give me the chance to back out. I knew I should, but I didn’t. His lawyer wife wanted some heavy dirt when she went into the custody and assets negotiations.

“You know when we go into this, even if he has hidden a secret life, assuming he even has one, there may be ways he can lie his ass off to get away with it. If it goes before a sympathetic judge, it may still go all to shit,” I suggested that to the thirty five year old divorce attorney. While she thought it over, I took a good look at her. I admit I looked at her body and skipped her mind. I already knew that her mind was twisted. Her body was not terrific by any means. She had the kind of body you pass or the street. That was the important part, you would pass her without noticing her. Her hair was a mousy brown. Her faced showed the extra thirty or so pounds. The ones which skipped her breasts, and went right to her hips. She probably had thick thighs. Which explained the baggy men’s cut pant suit she wore. She was, to put it simply, extremely forgettable.

“You get right down to the bottom line,” she said to me. “I like that. I know it’s an uphill battle, but I expect that you can find enough dirt to hang his ass.”

“Let me see if I got this right, you want his balls on a skewer on your barbie?” I guessed.

“That’s an original way to put it but I guess that’s accurate,” she agreed.

“We will be doing a lot of gray area investigating on this, so I assume you will defend us, should we need it,” I suggested.

“I will of course,” she said.

“I am recording this conversation, would you like to change your answer?” I asked.

“Not in the least. I do not want to know the details, just don’t go too far of the reservation,” she demanded.

“Okay we have a simple contract written by Addie, so I’m pretty sure it will be binding, lawyer or not,” I said sternly.

“You remind me of my dad,” she said and signed it without reading.

“You didn’t bother to read it, any particular reason,” I asked.

“Addie sent me a copy as a professional courtesy,” Shelly said. “I had her change a couple of things otherwise it was fine. Most of all, I trust you Sarge.”

She used my nick even though I never gave it to her. It showed me she had done at least a simple background check on us. If she had, she knew we didn’t need the money, only because we spent very little. For both Em and I, it was simply a case of postponing ‘death by boredom’.

“I would like to be kept informed of you progress,” Shelly pointed out.

“Every Monday, we will apprise you of our progress, and you will pay your bill up to that date, or we will withdraw from the case,” I informed her.

“That is satisfactory,” she said.

“Of course it is,” Em interjected staring hard at Shelly. Shelly just let that comment slide.

I didn’t let it slide. “What was that all about back there?” I asked as I took a seat in the Cyber Cafe. We were drinking disgusting coffee while I keyed up Lillian at the same time.

“She is obviously attracted to you. I guess it was the little green eyed monster peeking through,” she suggested.

“Well control it,” I said. “Believe it or not, there are some women her age who loved their daddy’s. Not in an unhealthy way.”

“She is young enough to be your daughter alright,” Em continued.

“Yes she is,” I admitted. “Now let’s get to work on her husband.”

“Lillian, we are still in Raleigh. How about running the credit check plus,” I requested. What that could have meant was a simple credit check. The kind any member could get from a credit bureau. Addie was a member of a couple of them. So was Shelly, I expected. The credit check was our code for a complete financial background. I was looking for hidden assets. Something we could use to raise the value of the divorce settlement.

Usually Lillian gave me a hint about something more hands on I could do. I spent the downtime deciding what I could do next. I read through the information packet Shelly provided. The judge had one reoccurring suspicious activity. He participated in a revolving poker game, or so he said. It was a perfect cover for a piece on the side. Any PI could have come up with that by reading the fact sheets from Shelly. Most likely they feared the wrath of Judge Armstrong. Em and I had no such fear.

I wanted a listening device in his chambers, and a directional mic while following him. That was as a replacement for a tap on his phones. If he was smart he would talk in code, but men tended to get sloppy after time passed with nothing happening. Women got sloppy when they got angry, at least it seemed that way to me.

I called Shelly’s office. “Shelly, I’ve been reading your husbands sheet. How would you like to help us put a nail in his coffin?” I asked.

“You bet your ass I would,” she said.

“Good, have you ever been in his chambers,” I asked.

“On several occasions,” she said.

“Cool I need you to deliver a present to his desk,” I said. “Think of a place where a cockroach might naturally hang out.”

“Oh god a cockroach bug, I love it,” she said.

“I’ll have to go back to Siler City to arrange it, but I’ll be back here tomorrow with it. When and where do we meet?” I asked. Em sat glaring at me.

“Can you meet me tonight?” Shelly asked. “I already have a sitter for Michael.” Michael was obviously her son.

“Sure when and where?” I asked.

“Saint Michael’s on Church street. It is one of the big downtown churches. I attend a support group,” she said.

“I see. So you weren’t always a good girl?” I asked.

“That is none of your business,” she said with a conspirator’s smile in her voice.

“Oh but it is. Emily may be risking life and limb. We need to know everything, in order to be safe,” I admitted. “So what is the support group.”

“It is for victims of family abuse,” she said with a little attitude in her voice.

“Fair enough,” I said. “Church parking lot it is. What time?”

“About 9PM,” she suggested.

“Done,” I said and broke the connection.

“I’ll bet you ten bucks, she was abused by her daddy,” M said.

“You are on,” I said in agreement. “But her prior abuse is not my problem.”

“Of course it is. Have you no shame?” Emily asked.

“Of course, the shame for what I did takes up all my time. I have no shame for what my sex in general did. If I were going to do that, I would do it by finding, and beating the crap out of your ex.” I said.

“Why,” Em asked.

“He turned you into a nymphomaniac according to you,” I said.

“Hell, I expected you to thank him, I do sometime. I haven’t been able to find a support group for my problems,” she said. “We should probably begin a group. We could call it ‘nymphomaniac and the men who screw them’,” she said with a laugh.

“Just have to find a sleazy motel to host our meetings,’ I suggested. “I’m going to go home and ride my trike. Do you want to come on my date with Shelly?”

“Hell no, you can fight her off if you want, and if you don’t, you can handle her alone,” she said.

Emily got up and left the Cyber Cafe. I followed a discreet distance behind her. I arrived home at 2PM on the last school day. I was just in time to follow a school bus from one of the county’s middle schools. It was a pretty good ride actually. I used the motor to start rolling, then shut it off to pedal most of the time. When I came to a steep incline, I started the motor before I lost all momentum. It went right up the incline at a little greater speed than I would have ridden on either the mountain or folding bike. It was an hour before I turned around at the county trash collection point.

The ride home was filled with peace and quiet. The ride to the trash point had been filled with screaming kids happy to home for the summer. I couldn’t remember those days, but I was sure I was equally enthusiastic back in the day.

I ate alone that night since Lillian and Addie had plans. I was invited, but since I had a meeting later I passed. I needed to check out the roach I planned to have Shelly plant inside the judge’s office. After I finished checking it, I made sure I wiped it clean before I inserted it inside a tiny plastic zip top bag. I spraying it all with a bleach solution. I wore rubber gloves during the inspection and packing of the baggy. Only after all that did I drive to Raleigh.

The church was built with granite blocks it appeared. It certainly looked old enough. Too bad it isn’t Halloween, I thought.

Several minutes later I watched Shelly come up from the basement stairs. There were several men and an almost equal number of women. I blinked my lights when I saw her scan the parking lot. When she came over, I remained seated in the car. There was no sense in taking the risk of us being seen together, even though the risk was small.

“Hello Sarge,” she said with the first real looking smile I had seen on her face.

“Hello Shelly, are you okay?” I asked.

“I’m fine. I’m just glad to be doing something. I am not going to allow him to turn me into a victim. I decided that when I met with your Emily,” she said. “She has real courage.”

“That she does,” I replied. “So here is your new best friend. I call him Robert the Roach. When we talk about him, it will always just be Robert. We can never discuss anything that you can’t independently verify. You are an officer of the court. You can’t risk knowing too much.”

“I understand,” she said. “So where do I install Robert?”

“Somewhere he won’t be noticed. Remember this, do not handle Robert without the included rubber glove. That is just in case someone finds him and figures out what it is. Odds are very good if anyone finds it, that it will be a cleaner and they will toss it in the trash. In which case I will bill you a hundred bucks for it. That’s a lot I know, but I’ve never lost one yet. We have walked away form a couple of Roberts, but that is the cost of doing business,” I explained.

After a few seconds of silence she asked, “You don’t want to know about the abuse?”

“No, I figured, if you want to talk about it you would have,” I replied.

“Maybe on Monday after your briefing we could go somewhere for coffee,” she suggested.

“Maybe, but there is one more thing, I have a GPS tracking chip. I need you to put it on his car. I assume you do have access to the car.” She nodded with a smile. “Stick it under the wheel well. I’m sure you have seen someone do it in a movie, or on TV.”

“I know what to do. I’ll put it on when I know he is in the shower,” she said getting into the spy game.

“Good, now go home and get these two things done, then leave it all to me and M,” I said.

She reached over and kissed me on the cheek before she removed herself from my car. I was a little disturbed but only because of what Em had said. Still it wasn’t my problem. When I returned home Addie’s car was in the parking lot, but Lillian did not appear to be in her guest house. So I watched a couple of things on the computer, then went to bed.

When I got up the next morning it was 6AM, and it was still an empty downtown. I decided to hell with it, I would ride around the loop then to Tonya’s Diner. When I sat down the boss lady actually stopped by the table to talk to me. She asked about Tiger and Lillian. I thought that was nice. After I updated her, she updated me on her kid whose name I never could remember. The Brat was out of school and looking forward to band camp. I didn’t tell Tanya, but I had read somewhere that a large number of girls lost their V at band camp. I had no idea where I read it, or why it happened, so I kept it to myself.

After I left I rode the short ride back to my lock shop home, I found Tiger waiting on the porch. He had become bored with my ride less than a mile from home, then he turned tail and headed home. It didn’t surprise me that morning because he did that often when I let him run with me.

I unlocked the door and allowed Tiger inside. I fixed his breakfast and sat at my desk while he ate. After he finished I allowed him to go into the back yard for his morning dump. I kept an eye on him so I knew where to look when I cleaned up after him.

I had decided to raise worms in one of the concrete surrounded plots of grass. I tossed in my morning coffee grounds and Tiger’s crap. The worm farm had grown from a tiny cardboard box of worms, which I ordered wholesale through ebay, to a well stocked worm farm. It was strictly a hobby. The farm require almost no work. Every couple of weeks I turned the soil over. That and throwing the food in was my total involvement.

If I ever decided to take up fishing, I would have plenty of bait, I told myself. I hadn’t yet made that decision, but I could see it coming one day. Like everything else in my life, I wanted to be prepared for something that might or might not happen to me.

Lillian came by on her way to breakfast with Addie. She wanted to invite me. I agreed to tag along for a cup of coffee. I wanted to talk to Lillian. She gave me a list of all of the Judges holding and I mean she had at least 99% of them. I didn’t have Shelly’s list, but I could tell that Lillian’s list was much longer than Shelly’s.