Prologue

Christmas had been fun, Adam thought. He loved the excitement that his niece and nephew brought to Christmas morning. Spending the day hanging out with family and helping them play with their new toys made him happy in a way that nothing else could. Even so, it was always a little bittersweet. He missed his mom especially on holidays like this. She would’ve loved being a grandmother, just like his dad loved being a grandfather.

The first sip of scotch burned. He saw his dad make the same grimace. Adam had never developed much of a taste for alcohol. Scotch was rare for both of them, although Dave had never lost the taste for beer, but seated around Bree’s beat-up kitchen table at the end of a busy Christmas day, having a glass with his dad seemed right. It was just the two of them for the moment. Bree was getting the kids in bed, and Brian was going to read them stories.

“So you and Becca broke up?” Dave asked.

“Yeah, a while back. No big deal.” Adam shrugged. “It was doomed from the start, but it was fun while it lasted.”

Dave nodded.

“Dad?” Adam said, not sure if he was ready to ask the question he’d held onto for years.

“Hmm?” Dave replied taking a sip.

“Why don’t you date? Why didn’t you find someone after mom died?” There. It was out. A question he’d never even vocalized to himself in the 20 years she’d been gone, but one that had always sat there in the back of his mind.

The silence stretched out, Dave’s tumbler making a muffled thunk as he set it down.

“I still love your mom.” He said easily without a trace of sadness.

“But ... it’s been 20 years.” Adam said quietly.

“And she still makes me happy Adam.” he said quickly at Adam’s surprise. “I know, I know. She’s gone, I know that. But I have almost 20 years of memories with her and I’ve never felt the need to fill that part of me with someone else, because it’s not empty. She’s gone from the world, but not from inside here.” He touched his chest. “Adam, I’m not pining away. She’s still my partner, in my mind. I still talk to her, tell her how you two are doing, ask her advice. And I don’t want to change that.” He paused and picked up his glass again “I mean, I still get laid if that’s what you’re asking.”

Adam gaped at him. Whatever he thought that answer was going to be, it wasn’t this. He thought his dad had been pining away all these years alone.

“I’ve got a few ... whaddaya kids call ‘em? Friends with benefits. We help each other out, companionship, sex, intimacy, whatever. But they don’t want to fall in love with me, and they know I’m not gonna fall in love with them. It works for us.”

If Adam had been surprised before, that was nothing compared to now. “Friends? Plural?” Was what he managed, although that wasn’t the question he really wanted to ask.

“Yep.” He said without a trace of smugness. “Deb and I have been fooling around for what 15 years now? Others have come and gone. Lilly seems to be fitting in nicely, I’m happy.”

Adam tried to take another sip, but it caught in his throat and he coughed.

“Want me to get you a sippy cup?” Dave grinned at him.

Adam laughed as he coughed and it took him a few moments to breath again.

“Well that is not what I expected.” Adam admitted looking down into his glass.

“I know. Neither of you ever asked.” Dave sighed. “I thought about saying something, but I couldn’t figure out a way to do it without it seeming callous or like I was bragging. I love your mother in a way I’ve never loved anyone, not even you and Bree. I don’t know why or how, just what is. And I don’t think I could ever love another like her. We never should’ve been a couple in the first place. Did I ever tell you how we met?”

Adam shook his head “Wasn’t it college or something?”

“That’s right. I was there on a football scholarship, and an arrogant dumbass. You know the type, I’m sure. Anyway, we were throwing this frat party, and Marie showed up, looking like a bat at a wedding. She was wearing all black, and had all this crazy makeup on. I found out later she came as a favor to her friend, but never wanted to be within a mile of Frat Row, much less at one of our parties.”