Chapter 9

Friday evening, 8/10, while the five of us were still sitting at the table after supper, chatting about what we were going to do together this weekend, Mom’s smartphone rang, and she looked to see who was calling.

“It’s Marsha! She brought a couple of newbies along to the party last week, this must be to ask if they can join!”

She put the phone on speaker and picked up her wine glass ready to take a sip.

“Hi, honey, how are you doing?”

“Great, thanks, Abby. That was a truly awesome party, our friends were mega-impressed. They REALLY want to join up; they said that they’d never experienced anything like it! We went back to their place afterwards, and had so much fun we didn’t get home until the afternoon.”

Mom kept one of those yellow legal pads with her cook books, for making lists of things that needed doing. She took a gulp of her wine then stood up and walked over to get her pad, presumably to write herself a note to call the visitors and sign them up. Marsha continued to talk through the speaker.

“Tell you something, Abby, Vic and Charlie were real taken by the two young sluts doing the entertainment with you. They want to double team them at the next party; Vic is fantasizing about getting that little dark-haired one to blow him so he can shoot his load all over her face and tits; Charlie prefers blonds, so he’s intending to fuck the shit out of the other one’s butt to start his membership off with a bang. Do make sure they are at the next party, willya, Abby, the guys are really wanting to nail them good. Vic thinks maybe he’s already done the blond, but he’ll happily screw her again just in case she’s not in his collection, getting her ass will be a bonus.”

Dad had been looking at his phone; he dropped it on the table as he heard Marsha’s words, and I heard the word ‘shit!’ come from his mouth. I quickly looked at the girls, I didn’t like the hurt and angry expressions I saw coming over their faces as their brains processed what they had just heard. There was no doubt that Marsha was talking about them.

Mom was still at the counter holding the note pad; she dropped it and turned round in panic, but was too late. Laura’s wits, never slow, had been further sharpened by her summer job, and she had picked up the phone and hit the mute function before Mom got within a yard of it. Despite receiving no reply to her comment, Marsha plowed on, and the speaker gave us every word she said. Mom tried again to retrieve her phone, but Laura grimly fended her off with her other arm.

“Oh yeah. Another thing, Abby, I told Cassie about those wonderful Kegel classes you hosted after New Year, and we want to know if you going to run them again? Will they still be the second and fourth Saturdays of the month?”

Mom went even whiter in the face. Jessie was now on her feet and running interference to prevent Mom getting closer to her phone. I quickly stood in case the girls needed help; it was sure looking like Mom had some explaining to do.

“Abby? Are you there? Hello?”

Sis smiled grimly. Her words were cold and cutting.

“Mother, dearest, it seems that you and I need to sit down and have a real good talk. Why don’t you say goodbye to Marsha?”

She touched the screen to allow Marsha to hear. Mom stuttered as she said “I can’t talk now; I’ll have to get back to you.”

Laura ended the call without a word. To my utter amazement, Mom then dropped to her knees in front of Laura, and burst into tears.

“Laura, honey, I’ve messed up, badly. Please try to forgive me!”

There was a groan of “Oh shit, Abby!” from Dad. Sis looked down coldly at Mom, not a trace of sympathy on her face.

“Yes, Mother?”

“I forgot to tell you something. In January, I booked a teacher for running a pelvic floor and Kegel exercise class Saturday mornings. We managed six sessions before she got too pregnant to continue. I meant to tell you about it, honestly. God, I’m so sorry, kids.”

Dad had moved over, dropped down, and was hugging Mom from behind. He looked up pleadingly at their daughter.

“Laura, she didn’t intend to hold out on you; she just forgot, what with everything that’s been going on.”

I wasn’t thinking straight, still working on the fact that Marsha had just called my girlfriends ‘sluts’. I was about to tell Mom that her omission was okay, but we needed to do something about Marsha, when there was an outraged screech from my sister.

“Back in January? She FORGOT? Bullshit! She should have asked us at the time; we’d have been really interested in coming home for something like that. She’s been holding out on me and Jess as well!”

I suddenly understood the wider picture. Mom had concealed the classes from Laura and Jessie AT THE TIME, and afterwards. I exchanged a glance with Jessie; I thought that I saw a very brief flash of the same hurt that I’d spotted that time Mom and Laura had gone upstairs without her. Yeah, Jessie had heard that bit as well.

Mom wailed even louder. I gripped one of Laura’s hands, Jessie was already holding the other. Both the girls were now crying as well. That didn’t endear me to Mom any.

It was Dad who had to try to explain.

“The group heard of a woman who gives instruction on pelvic floor care; you know that some of them are in their late 40s and starting to think of menopause and partial incontinence in later life. Your Mom got in touch with her and we agreed to host the classes. The ladies really liked them.”

I looked at Laura. She spoke through her tears. Her voice was even colder.

“Father, you have spectacularly missed the point. Jess and I would have really liked them TOO. We should have had the chance to try them. She should have told me THEN, not later in April, and certainly not now in August. Mother, you had better go to your room right now. Mike, Jess, we need to talk.”

Mom objected. A real dumb thing to do; I guess it showed how overwrought she was.

“You will not order me to my room, young lady!”

Laura lost it, cursed and stood up. I thought she was going to beat Mom’s ass, so I quickly grabbed her round the waist, and Jessie took her arm. Sis still got in Mom’s face; I could see the spittle spraying from her mouth as she yelled.

“LISTEN, YOU STUPID BITCH. You’ve broken the agreement and lied to me again, just get out of my fucking sight right now before I say or do something you’ll regret.”

Mom recoiled from the utter contempt in her daughter’s voice.

Dad heard it too, and sensibly took Mom’s arm and dragged her away. He stopped in the doorway to look back at us. He suddenly looked real old and beaten again.

“Laura, sweetheart, I decked the last person who called my wife a stupid bitch in my presence. Yeah, she’s sure fucked up here, and I think I probably agree with your assessment, but, I beg of you, don’t let the hatred consume you. She’s still your Mom, and she’s going to be devastated at doing this to you. Please, honey, for me? Let the two of us talk, and I’ll come and find you later.”

Sis tossed her head.

“Whatever. Just take the stupid bitch away.”

They left the room; we heard Mom’s sobs recede as they went up the stairs. I put my other arm around my sister and hugged her, Jessie joined in.

“Shit! Shit! Shit! I thought this was over. Come on, we’ve got to decide what to do.”

The three of us headed for the den and locked the door behind us.

I had been merely pissed that Mom and Dad had both forgotten to mention the pelvic floor classes in their “full and frank disclosure”. Jeez, both of them had often done ‘due diligence’ for takeovers and mergers, and they knew how vital it was to declare everything, no matter how unimportant it seemed.

Laura had every reason to be MUCH more pissed. She had been in on the secret for the parties, and I knew that both she and Jessie would have very interested in learning about the control of those intimate muscles. Discovering that she been excluded from knowing about those sessions now put her in almost the same position as I had been; yeah, I had a pretty good idea about how she would be feeling right now.

Jessie too had been cut out of the loop; you would have thought after four months of partying with them that Mom would have invited her to take part as well. I could tell that it grated with her, though she was too polite to show it. I’d have to keep a watchful eye there as well.

There was also the matter of Marsha calling my girlfriends sluts. Yes, they really enjoyed their sex (and why the heck shouldn’t they?), but they were members of the same swinging group as Marsha was – not for very much longer if I had any say in the matter – and that kinda ran with the territory. There was going to be payback for that slur and disrespect.

I had another thought, so I left the girls hugging in the den, and went back into the kitchen while I speed-dialed a number on my own smartphone. Mom and Dad were nowhere to be seen. Mom’s phone was still on the kitchen table, so I grabbed it to ensure she couldn’t use it. Libby answered my call.

“Libby, it’s Mike. Question. Did you know about the pelvic floor exercise classes, back in January?”

“Yes, I did. I went to them. Six sessions, through March. They were a whole lot of fun. Why? Is there a problem?”

“Yup. One heck of a problem. First we knew about them was when Marsha called Mom, not ten minutes ago. Laura is REALLY pissed that she wasn’t invited.”

Libby got it, instantly.

“OH SHIT! I’ll be right over.”

My phone went dead before I had time to mention the second issue; I rejoined the girls in the den. They were still hugging each other, and I put my arms around them both.

It can’t have been five minutes after my call that I heard rapid footsteps approaching. I looked up to see Libby in the doorway. I looked at her grimly.

“Thanks for dropping everything, Libby. They’ve been holding out on us again. Mom didn’t invite Laura and Jessie to the Kegel classes, in fact she kept them secret. Currently all agreements are void. The three of us now need to have a long talk about what we are going to do. You know you offered to be our mediator? We need you, please, because at the moment we don’t want to set eyes on the stupid bitch.”

She grimaced. I knew that she’d been really pleased that we had all been getting on so well, and now it was all up in the air again.

“Oh shit. Okay, I think I understand. The three of you are really hurting again. The pair of them fucked up once more. Will you give me a genuine chance to remedy the situation, or is this unforgiveable? It doesn’t sound as bad as last time?”

“What do you want to do, Sis? Try and find a way through this?”

Laura looked up. Her eyes were red and puffy.

“I just want to know WHY! Why did the dumb bitch not TELL us? Has she learned nothing? For fuck’s sake, what was she thinking? Just when everything was looking rosy, and we were back as a family, all fine and dandy, this comes along and bites us all in the ass.”

“I’ve no idea, Sis. They swore that they’d told us everything. Libby needs to know. Do we give them one final chance, or do we walk?”

Laura hesitated. Jeez, I hoped she didn’t want to walk – okay, so Mom had really fucked the pooch again, but I wasn’t yet totally sure that it had been 100% deliberate.

You’ve heard of Hanlon’s Razor? Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity. I’d read of far more case study examples of SNAFUs caused by not thinking things through, rather than deliberate intent to foul everything up. Yeah, Mom had fucked up, but it might not be as bad as it looked.

I glanced at Libby; she too seemed to be holding her breath.

“I guess we could talk first?”

I kissed my sister on the neck. I felt relief – if she’d wanted to walk without talk, then without doubt I’d have gone with her – but I was still worried about exactly how we’d resolve this.

“Okay, we’ll do that. Libby, it’s Mom’s very last chance. Will you help us? Please?”

“Of course I will.”

“I’m real sorry to do this to you, Libby. We’re a bit shaken up by what we’ve just heard.”

“That’s what we legal eagles call an understatement. Come on, let’s get this sorted out.”

Like I keep saying, this lady is pure class.

“How do you want to play this? Me on one side of the table, or all working together?”

We ended up all sitting on the floor with a beer each. Jessie briefly explained exactly what had happened, and Libby sighed.

“I’m taking it that we’re after a plea deal, even if she deserves to be tarred and feathered and run out of town for a while?”

Sis smiled through her tears.

“Tarring and feathering sounds just fine!”

“Okay, we can probably do that, but let’s try a few other things first. I’d better go and see what she has to say for herself.”

Libby headed upstairs to see if Mom was willing to talk to her.

We went to the kitchen to grab another drink, and I opened a bag of salted pistachios as a snack. Laura picked up the pad that Mom had left on the counter, sat down at the table and started writing, biting her lip as she concentrated. The first few lines went down quickly, and then I could tell she was searching her memory. I moved behind her to see what she was doing.

Crap. Looked like she didn’t want to carry Mom’s name any more.

Laura Abigail Noble

She had stopped writing and was thinking; I leaned over, took the pen out of her hand, and completed the last line so it read:

Laura AbsolutelyAmazinglyAwesome Noble

She turned her head and smiled at me. There was none of her usual sparkle in the smile, but it was at least the beginnings of one.

“I’m glad someone still thinks so!”

Jessie looked at what I’d written.

“Laura, there are two of us here who KNOW that you’re totally awesome.”

“Thank you, but I can’t see myself writing that on one of those darned forms where there’s a box for each letter!”

“You could always just use the initial. Wasn’t there some politician who didn’t have a middle name?”

“Yeah, Truman. He was the odd one out when we had to learn the lists of Presidents. Just Harry S.”

“Yeah, that’s the one. Laura A. sounds cool.”

We heard footsteps coming down the stairs, and looked up. Libby walked in.

“Okay, she pleaded guilty. No contest. Now you’ve got to decide what she needs to do to make amends.”

The three of us looked at each other. I pulled the pad towards me and folded the top sheet over so I could write on a fresh page. I didn’t trust myself to get this right without making notes.

“Libby, I think there are three things. The first is Marsha’s utter disrespect for Laura and Jessie. She and her husband need kicking out of the group, and their friends not allowed to join.”

“Tell me again exactly what she said?”

We did so. Libby looked disgusted.

“Clear breach of the rules, and the spirit. No way do you ever disparage another member and call her a slut. Yeah, I’m with you all the way on that one. And Laura, Jessie, let me tell you, you are most definitely NOT sluts. We’re swingers, but not sluts, and don’t you ever let anyone bad mouth you like that. Jeez, I remember one night at the Gibson’s Marsha was being spit-roasted and hollering to ask who was next – now that was slutty!”

The girls smiled at Libby’s words.

“Second, failure to make a full and frank disclosure back in April, when they swore that they’d told us everything. That brings Dad in, because he must have known about them too.”

“Okay, and I guess in a way it includes me. I know I wasn’t there when they ‘fessed up to you, but maybe I should have checked their list.”

“No, Libby, you weren’t to know, in the same way you had no idea that I’d been excluded rather than turned down the invitation to take part in the group. Please don’t blame yourself, we don’t. Third, and most important, Laura and Jessie were privy to the secret of the group, but Mom chose to exclude them from a group activity that they would have liked to take part in. That is betrayal, and we don’t run a Statute of Limitations on that.”

“Betrayal? Kind of a strong word? Can’t we knock it down a point or two, say to ‘stupidity’?”

“No, normally I’d think that first, but on reflection, I disagree with you. Mom was more than happy to use Laura and Jessie as fresh young pussy for her friends to enjoy, but then held back on her side of the deal? She taught them some skills, and then kept others to herself?”

“Okay, I can live with that; I guess that I can see where you are coming from. Which one do you want to deal with first?”

We had a short discussion, and then Libby headed back upstairs. She came back down some twenty minutes later with Dad in tow. He looked rumpled, miserable and even older; his shirt was wet from Mom’s tears. He smiled weakly at us as he sat alone at the other side of the kitchen table. Libby had to prompt him to speak.

“Laura, Jessie, Mike, I’m real, real sorry about this. I still can’t believe what Abby has done; I genuinely thought we’d gone over everything, but I’d forgotten the pelvic floor classes. I had no idea that she hadn’t asked you if you wanted to come to them. Your Mom wants you to know that she’d do anything for this not to have happened. Oh shit, I’m just so sorry, we’re so sorry.”

None of us answered him; he shook his head sadly at our clear hostility. Then Libby started doing the job we’d asked her to do.

“Okay, Mason, before we start talking, my clients insist that you show that you are acting in good faith. Here is your wife’s smartphone. You are now going to call Marsha, tell her that you are blackballing her friends Charlie and Cassie from joining the group, that she and Vic are no longer welcome in your home, and that she is never to contact Abby again.”

He flinched at her businesslike tone.

“I can’t do that! Marsha’s been a member for years!”

“In which case you are failing to enforce the rules of the group, and I will happily help my clients to sue you for that failure. Or are you perhaps telling me that my clients lied to me when they told me that Marsha made quite clear statements about their intentions towards Jessie and Laura? You were there, you must have heard the conversation?”

“Yes, I did. And I didn’t like what I heard, but...”

Libby exhaled loudly in frustration, cutting off his flow of words.

“Think about it, Mason. Look at it from the point of view of your kids. In April, your daughter got date-raped and abused under your own roof by a guy you had invited into your home. That makes YOU partly responsible. Now you have heard that another man wants to do something similar, and you aren’t going to take any action? Really? And Marsha’s going to get away with calling your daughter a slut? What kind of man are you? Fuck it, are you a man?”

There was a long silence, and then Dad shook his head in disgust at himself and his confusion.

“I’m sorry, Libby, I should have seen that point immediately. It’s just that Abby is so upset and unhappy, that I’m not thinking straight. She might be a stupid bitch sometimes, but she’s my stupid bitch and I do love her. Okay, kids, I’ll be more than happy to do that, right now.”

Libby nodded her approval of his decision.

“Thank you. You know, I’ve never quite liked Marsha, and now I know why. I don’t think you’ll want your wife ever talking to her again. She’s not a good influence.”

He stroked his chin before answering.

“Yeah, I’d never heard her spout such filth before; she’s certainly showed her true self. Give me another minute to get my head together and I’ll call her.”

He grabbed the pen and pad from in front of me and wrote himself a few lines of notes, then reached for the phone, setting it on speaker. Marsha picked up immediately, and in her motor-mouth fashion, started talking straight away.

“Hi, Abby! You had to cut off real quickly there, girlfriend, did Mason come in? Anyway, have you thought about what I said? Can you reserve those two girls for my guys?”

Dad shook his head in amazement at Marsha’s stupidity. His voice was the impersonal business version; cool and direct.

“Marsha, this is Mason. I heard the whole of your previous call. Speaking frankly, I was disgusted at the attitudes you expressed. You disrespected two other members, and you voiced the intention of your husband and friends to break the rules at the next party.”

There was a horrified gasp at the other end, then a “Oh shit!” Dad carried on.

“Because of what you said, I’m going to blackball your friends Charlie and Cassie because I do not believe they have an appropriate attitude to join the group.”

“You can’t do that!”

“Oh yes I can! In fact, as the host, I have a positive duty to do that. And, as the host, I’m also now telling you that you and Vic are no longer welcome in my house.”

“What!”

“You heard me. You called two other members sluts; you said that Vic was intending to do things that require the lady’s consent without asking her. You’re out.”

“You bastard! We’ll sue you!”

“Really? Think what that publicity would do to your reputation? And if we countersued and had you publicly served at work? You’d be fired minutes later. Marsha, don’t be even more stupid than you have been already. Just walk away. Go and get involved in the kink scene or join a BDSM dungeon; they’re more likely to meet your preferences. I’m blocking your number, and Abby will no longer be accepting your calls.”

“NO! Let me talk to her!”

“No, Marsha, you will never speak to my wife again if I can help it. Knowing what I now do about your true character, I’m sorry that she ever got friendly with you. I’m ending this call right now; please don’t ever try to contact any of us again.”

There was a screech on the speaker, cut off as Dad ended the connection. Laura reached out and took the phone from him, deftly blocking the number and removing Marsha from the ‘contacts’ list. Then she retained the phone.