The Joy of Anal Matchmaking - Cover

The Joy of Anal Matchmaking

Copyright© 2018 by L. Sprague Campbell Jr.

Chapter 1

Since the statistics of ordinary facial matchmaking pointed to ultimate failure of selection, the marriage bureau of New California decided to test out Professor Dixon’s radical theory that males would remain spouses longer when matched to females picked on the basis of feminine ass appreciation rather than beauty of face.

At first, the nubile female Women’s Union objected to such a degrading selection process, but after some startling results in the test projects; the WU withdrew their written disapproval and gave tentative blessing to allowing major matchmaking efforts centered in the area that stretched from San Francisco to Sacramento and extending all the way down to the base of a triangular testing area in the very heartland of gender blending full equality classless societies in the new Sin City of San Jose.

One of the objections of the minority protections department related to bias against certain skin tones that the liberated participants promulgated subconsciously despite repeated efforts to dispel such nonsense in the New California spirit of open fucking relationships.

Careful analysis of the program’s parameters indicated that concentration on anal perfection and anal attraction was far more successful than focusing on such distractions as lips, noses or sexy eyebrows. Apparently, spontaneous erections occurred at the sight of sexy curves of twin buttocks or the gap between nicely spaced ass cheeks with far more degree of long term attraction success than some smile on a pretty face or a clever tongue licking a nicely painted lip.

Dual programs using verbal supports and non-verbal support systems disclosed that there was relatively no difference in the results related to actual spoken persuasions. However, there was a direct correlation between female sounds of pleasure from mere whispers to loud shouts and screams and the recorded strength and duration of copulation excitement. Females with self-imposed restraints on expressing their pleasure at anal carnal love-making tended to make less successful matches than those females with no hang-ups about letting it all hang out. The women that were able to make loud expressions of physical release no matter how obscene sounding and mentally humiliating to their personal female dignity generally were the highest scoring.

The two primary matchmaking organizations in that somewhat “breakaway” west coast region at that time were (1) The Bay Area Marriage Bureau and the more open-minded (2) West Coast Hook-up Exchange.

The entire concept of anal matchmaking was new to the country on the whole because the emphasis on “family” structures had only recently made a comeback in the accelerated progressive society. For almost two generations, the society had fostered the belief that relationships were not as important as “political correctness” and that “emotions” often led to explosive disruptions in societal smooth patterns.

The initial trials of anal attraction required that young females become more accustomed to exposing their naked posteriors to general public viewing. One of the new practices was to foster design processes that made visual access to female posteriors a common, everyday experience and one that did not cause the female subject to be in the least bit guilty or ashamed of her wanton display of that portion of her anatomy.

There was some conflict at the very beginning of the project concerning the minimum age requirements being at odds with the generally accepted age of sixteen and in some more religious-oriented regions not below the age of eighteen. After some violent demonstrations of counter-program prudery, it was decided that the “transparent” ass designs would be only for eighteen and above females. That changed the super-model scene overnight because the stock of most juicy super-models had been in the fifteen to seventeen age ranges for the past four decades. Now, the has-been cast-off models of eighteen and older returned with a vengeance and swung their pretty asses left and right up and down the run-ways smiling as they thought of their newly replenished bank accounts.

Professor Harry Dixon was one of the guiding lights in the newly established use of female anal geography to determine compatibility to life-time partner material. He had done some complex studies of the female posterior and his research had led to the sub-categories of (a) Round, (b) Square, © Triangular, and (d) Heart. Of course, each of these categories was further broken down into various closely related shapes and his notes listed the attributes of females possessing certain shapes and sizes.

As a graphic example, the Heart-shaped female ass generally was attributed to a woman with impressive depth of rectal capacity and the propensity to have well-developed sphincter muscles that could adapt to maximum stretching postures welcoming even the most well-endowed male partners no matter how aggressive or excited their technique. Female Heart-shaped asses were found in all skin tones and even the older subjects were of superior physical fitness levels to all the other female ass shapes. Once a Heart-shaped female ass was fully inserted with stiff cock, they generally reacted with spirited agility and managed to drain male subjects of their man-juices with impressive success completion rates. Darker skin-toned Heart-shaped female asses were in great demand due to their flexibility and sense of enthusiasm when copulating regardless of the appearance or age of the male partner. Even light skinned Heart-shaped female asses were reported to produce high levels of anal orgasms and were preferred by males in every category. The Heart-shaped female asses were the most fertile of the female ass shapes and they made excellent mothers to offspring whilst maintaining their basic feminine levels of sexy appeal to their male admirers.

Doctor Dixon had also published a report of oral fetishes associated with Heart-shaped female ass shape participants and they were always at the top of the list in sexual stamina fully able to complete multiple couplings in a single night.


The all fifty state female ass classification project was in full swing the following summer. The New California sector statistics were right in the middle of the pack and nubile females in that sector excelled in daily exposure of their naked buttocks on buses, trains and even crowded elevators in tight quarters up close and personal with hordes of strange male prospective participants.

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