Chapter 26

~~Beatrice~~

Climbing down into the cavern was getting easier. But no matter how good she was getting at it, if the clouds decided to cover the night sky, the obsidian shadow below her was an easy way to get some broken, mangled limbs. God damn the canyon was a bitch, with no good footing anywhere, and enough jagged rocks to kill any kine who fell down, guaranteed.

But she was familiar with it now, knew where the good rocks for grabbing were, knew where to put her weight into a crevice to get a foothold. Easy does it, easy does it. Through the sharp stone and sharper twigs and brush.

The tunnel into the cave was far more forgiving. Hard to find, but smooth and inviting compared to the canyon it connected to. And once through that, she was greeted by the colossal cavern of the Circle of the Crone. So damn metal, with bones on the walls for decorations, a blood bowl of bone in the center, and with rooms and hollows carved into the rock walls.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” She gave Aaron a small nod as she stepped in. The pale-skinned Gangrel returned it, but his eyes were busy, looking the contents of a book up and down. Not sure what kind of book had your eyes going up as well as down, but she didn’t bother to check.

“Mission go ok?” he said.

“Yeah. Garry’s got people riding the Invictus edge on purpose, like I thought.” She shrugged and raised a claw to pick at the crocodile teeth along her cheek. “He knows it’ll cause trouble. Thought he was done with trouble.”

“Carthians, done with trouble?”

“Hey fuck you, we didn’t all just look for trouble all the time. Dickhead. Carthians just try to change old stupid shit. Or do you enjoy that Dolareido is practically a monarchy?”

He mirrored the shrug and smiled. “Prince lets us do what we want. Mostly.”

“Yeah when the mostly part changes, you’ll understand.”

She really had no business getting in Aaron’s face. Man was nice, for a Gangrel, but a bit naive, and kind of the odd man out in their weird little cult. Too nice.

Ugh, for a second, she wanted to use the term ‘beta’ to describe him. Joe was the sort of moron to think in terms of alpha and beta; and if she was turning into Joe, she’d be better off ash.

Moans grabbed her attention. At this point, moans when entering the cavern were more common than silence, since Othello and Jennifer often liked to bring their meals to their rooms, instead of showing a little decency and fucking them where they found them. Want to fuck them in the club? No one would even blink. But bringing them back to fuck in the cavern, where the stone walls captured sound so everyone could hear everything, was rude.

And she was too weak to not sneak a peek. As long as she didn’t do anything, it was alright. Right?

Definitely do something nice for Julias later, Beatrice, you guilty bitch.

Smirking to herself, she walked over to Othello’s room, and stood in the opening of the large alcove. Othello was lying on top of a woman, and beneath them was a bunch of blankets, with a pillow underneath the girl’s hips. And of course they were fucking, with a deep and heavy, fast-but-not-too-fast rhythm. Anal sex of course, Othello’s main interest, and the girl underneath him didn’t seem to mind.

In fact she barely seemed to be aware. Her arms were limp along the blankets, and her moans were quiet, exhausted things. Othello must have already drank from her. Poor girl was borderline comatose while the muscley, dark-skinned Daeva sank his cock into her ass. Comatose or not, the kine was soaking the pillow underneath her cunt, and her body was trembling, toes curled and thighs quivering. A long, deep, slow stroke, and the girl squirted onto the pillow, with a wavering, weak moan to follow. Another one, and another little squirt; girl was cumming her brains out.

Ok, enough staring. You have a boyfriend, and this is very uncool.

She kept watching for another ten seconds before she moved on. Course then she was just watching it in her head, and she raised her claws to her hair as she shook her skull.

Jacob was sitting in the back of the cave on a chair, a simple thing of wood with a leather cushion. For some reason, it went well with the bones that covered the rock wall behind him. The ancient Nosferatu was wearing some old brown pants, black shoes, and an open brown vest, with nothing underneath. She could see his chest and arms, and found herself a little surprised; the man was in good shape for what would have passed for a fifty-year-old kine. A bit thin, but strong. Whoever had sired him had picked a weird time for the embrace.

He had the usual bandage over his eyes though, to hide his empty eye sockets.

“Beatrice, how goes scouting?”

“You were right, Garry’s stirring up trouble. I know the Invictus have been taking more territory with Xnomina on the border, but it’s not like that’s a declaration of war.”

“If your neighbor, someone you know doesn’t want you around, starts marching troops up and down your fence line, would you not respond?” Garry smirked his crazy smirk at her, and leaned back into his chair to bring a leg up onto the other. Knife in hand, and a piece of wood too, he started carving. He’d only just started working on it, so all he had was a block of wood the size of a brick.

“I guess I would. And didn’t know you did wood carvings.”

“Good.” Another grin for her, before the eyeless vampire started back into the wood with the blade. “What is Garry up to, specifically?”

“He’s got multiple cells causing mayhem for the encroaching Xnomina institutions. Breaking down machinery, causing accidents for the kine, shit like that. He has other cells, his older Kindred, roughing up Invictus who walk the neutral line. No one’s been killed yet thank god, but some kid is going to go too far eventually.”

“Undoubtedly.” The old Nosferatu worked quick, shavings of wood falling and exposing a knife-like shape from the block. “Probably what Garry is hoping for.”

“Say what?”

“Two dogs, one bone. Garry and Michael butt heads a lot, and overtly.” The bastard smirked at her and waved his small stick around. “It’s in the nature of women to sneak and manipulate, in men to break down walls with their skulls. In this case, each other’s skulls instead of a wall.” He chuckled and resumed carving, with the occasional pick of his teeth with the blade. “Both see an opportunity for power and growth, at the other’s expense, and they’ll pursue it.”

“I guess, yeah. Just didn’t expect Garry to do something so juvenile.”

“The Invictus want to control all, and the Carthians want a democracy, no matter how foolhardy the notion with Kindred as your populace. Both see their ways as correct, both see them worth fighting for. Wars are fought for less.”

Yeah, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t stupid.

“Feel like I should do something.”

“Oh?” He threw a sly, toothy smile her way.

She nodded and stepped in closer. The old bastard did love to try and intimidate her, and she resisted every time, despite the shivering beast in her gut. Besides, she had bigger teeth.

“Feel a bit guilty about just watching the catastrophe waiting to happen.”

“Understandable.” He carved a couple eyes around the center of the piece of wood. What had seemed like a blade was turning into a bird beak. “Your lover is an Invictus and your old boss and friend is a Carthian. Quite the pickle.”

“Fuck you.”

He laughed. “No judgment here, Beatrice. We all have our baggage. And you are free to do what you want, you know that.”

“Unless you want something.” Snarl and hiss.

“I think I’m entitled to a little request every now and then.” The monster leaned in closer, enough so this time she did take a step back as his smile turned into a grin. “Aren’t I?”

Yeah yeah, he was the leader of their fucked up little pack, after all.

“So, I can do what I want about this?”

“Sure. Just don’t throw the Circle into the middle of it, and you’re free to fuck Garry and help Julias all you want.”

Fucking bastard knew he got that backward too.

“And ... about Maria?”

Jacob put the knife and wood down to his knees, and looked at her. The bandage wasn’t see-through. You couldn’t see the empty eye sockets. But she could tell he was staring right at her.

“What about her?”

“She’s been pushing on Carthian territory too.”

“Her motivations are much simpler, and deadlier.”

“ ... you mean about Lucas.”

The eyeless nodded, and resumed carving. Where he’d once been enthusiastic and speedy with the crafting, now he was slowed, and each incision was deliberate.

“He’s dead, and she blames Garry on some level. Much of what happened during the purge happened because of him, because he sided with the Prince, because he...” The old man sighed, and slit some random lines into subtle curves along the sloped back end of the wood. Barbs of feathers? “Now that he has truly perished, Maria no doubt feels unhinged and looking to start trouble. That may change as she calms ... it may not.”

“Fucking wonderful.” She threw up her hands and started pacing. Two dudes having a pissing contest was a stupid thing she could get behind stopping, but a woman angry about the death of her love wasn’t exactly an easy thing to fix.

“Take my advice, Beatrice: stay out of her way.”

Not the first time Jacob told her to avoid Maria. Jacob was so much older than her, why did he fear her? He was twice her age, fucking twice. He was ancient. Maria wasn’t even alive when Jacob became elder.

“Fine, fine, I’ll avoid her.” Hands down again, she turned and walked away. Didn’t bother to wave or anything, not the Circle’s way. She liked that.

Ok, maybe Jennifer would have something different to say. And, well, she kinda wanted to see Jennifer. The two of them were getting along more and more; probably cause she reminded her of Julias. Damn Ventrue.

Her friend had a fur blanket hanging from her alcove, but she’d given Beatrice permission to walk in whenever she wanted, even if the blanket was pulled across to cover the hideaway. So Beatrice walked in.

“Jennifer, we—damn it.”

Of course. Of fucking course. The Nosferatu was too busy running scenarios about Garry and the Invictus through her head to be paying attention. She’d thought all the moans were coming from Othello and his girl, not Jennifer; which was pretty damn stupid of you Beatrice considering Jennifer has sex almost every night.

Sure enough, the woman was nude, and straddling a man who was lying on his back on some fur blankets. No wonder Beatrice hadn’t heard their moans, they were having really gentle, slow sex. A surprise, considering there was also a man behind Jennifer, kneeling behind her, and though Beatrice couldn’t see from the angle, he was definitely penetrating her.

Jennifer smiled at her, and slowly rocked herself back and forth. The man underneath her held still, hands on her hips, while the man behind her met her rocking with gentle thrusts of his own. No one had issues getting in there, nice and deep, and everyone was smiling.

“Hey Beatrice,” Jennifer said. Her hands were on the man’s chest beneath her, or at least they were. But when Beatrice entered, Jennifer always changed her body language, got a little friendlier, a little more inviting. She put her weight onto one hand, still on the man’s chest, but the other raised to her breast, and she cupped it into her palm while finger and thumb caressed her swollen nipple. All while looking at the Nosferatu.

Beatrice couldn’t help but stare a little. Catching the girl mid threesome was routine at this point, a routine Beatrice could probably break if she really wanted to. But damn, seeing Jennifer surrounded by legs sent a thrill down her dead spine every time. Something about how Jennifer looked just like her with the shoulder-length black hair that framed her face, the confident grin, the lean-and-mean body; all that without the Nosferatu disfigurements.

Watching her reminded Beatrice a lot of her fun days back when she was kine. And, evidently, she really turned herself on.

“Jennifer. I uh...” Focus damn it, stop staring. “Wanted to talk about Garry.”

“Go ahead.” Smiling at her, Jennifer leaned down to squish her breasts against her ghoul’s chest, and arched her back to show off the curve of her spine. Not doing it for her ghouls either, definitely doing it to entice Beatrice.

Or maybe she just liked showing off? Cause you love to do that too, Beatrice. You love the look in Julias’s eyes when he watches you do anything sexy. Maybe that’s all it was, Jennifer getting off on being watched, same as Beatrice did. She’d prefer Jennifer enjoy such a vice with her ghouls, not her, but at least she could understand it, if it was true.

“He’s up to something. I know Xnomina is buying up territory near there. Maybe they’re going to expand the police force in the area, and McDonald will probably point them in Garry’s direction.” Much as Garry was a great guy, Kindred did illegal things all the time by kine rules. Where Invictus broke the law through manipulative lawyer garbage, Carthians broke it in much more direct ways. Easily caught ways, usually, if you knew where to look. And the Invictus knew where to look.

Jennifer nodded, and her eyes looked up as she considered, before she pushed against her ghoul’s chest to sit up straighter again. The woman had the same slightly tanned skin tone as Beatrice, but no tattoos or piercings. The clean look was good on her.

“Do you suspect Maria, or Michael?” she said, face calm and straight. Or it was for a second, and then the man behind her gave her a little thrust, harder than the ones before, making Jennifer squeak. She reached back and slapped the man on the hip, but she didn’t really seem like she minded. Her nipples looked so damn hard and swollen, despite her putting on her business face. Her rhythm never stopped either. Girl was damn comfortable with sex.

Which was weird, now that she thought about it. Beatrice slept around a lot as a kine, but she never got as comfortable with sex as Jennifer. The Ventrue was only ten years embraced; must have been a sexual animal while still alive.

“Thinking Maria mostly? Since Lucas is dead, and she might think Garry had a hand to play in that; she could be looking to start something. But then McDonald hates Garry too.”

“Any evidence for either?” She sat up straighter still, and the man behind her had to lean back to make room for her. But he just rolled with it, reached his hands up from her waist, and cupped her breasts. And with more room, the man underneath reached down to where her smooth pussy was wrapped taut around his cock, and started to rub his thumb along her clitoris.

Both men earned some quiets moans from the Ventrue, and she tilted her head a bit to catch the man behind her with a kiss on the jaw. Just another ordinary day for Jennifer.

“Not to call them out individually, no.”

“Why would you call them out?” She reached down for the man beneath her, and pulled him up to sit, his head against her collar. Her fingers found his hair, and she combed the curls of them as she gently fucked her ghoul. “Let them fight it out. You’re not supposed to interfere, just have the information.”

“A war will benefit no one, Jennifer.” She had to leave out the ‘when you’re older you’ll understand’ speech. Beatrice had a couple decades as Kindred, but that wasn’t a lot. Besides, it was people older than her trying to start the wars.

“You sure about that? I don’t know about you, but I think it’d be nice if the Circle could pick up the pieces left over from a silly Invictus Carthian war. Take the city for our own, let the Crone run free.” Jennifer smiled at Beatrice over her ghoul’s head. Still fucking, even as she moved her legs out so she wasn’t on her knees, but had them wrapped around her ghoul instead. Which meant the ghoul behind her had to sit down on his butt too, and get in close, legs out to the sides. Everyone so damn comfortable with each other, the guys didn’t mind touching legs and bits to make sure their master enjoyed a proper, deep, double penetration in a leisurely bout of sex.

“I have friends in the Invictus. You know that.” Julias of course, her big shiny white knight. But there was Jack too. “And the Carthians.”

“Split loyalties. You’re lucky this isn’t like other cities, Beatrice. A lot of places, the Kindred act in open war of each other.” Her hands drifted up and down her ghoul’s back, even as she grinned at the Nosferatu. Legs locked tighter, and her rhythm increased; now everyone had a bit of motion going in their hips. Like watching gear cogs work together, the three bodies kept rubbing up against each other in a perfect, synchronized dance.

Beatrice had been in threesomes before, when she was kine; they never went this smooth. Jennifer must have spent time training her ghouls, just so she could get a proper good fuck every night.

Yeap, Beatrice was jealous. Course, the grass was always greener on the other side of the fence, right? She had a great man in her life now, a powerful, rich man at that. They were sexually compatible too, and sometimes had fun with their meals. Be satisfied with that. Just hard to think straight when staring at your body double having oddly romantic sex with two guys at once.

“I like that I can go out into the street, even into Invictus or Carthian territory, and I don’t guarantee a fight.”

“Not a guarantee,” Jennifer said, “but always a possibility. We’re animals, Beatrice, trying to share a food source. Violence is inevitable.” As if to make her point, Jennifer rolled her eyes up into her skull with a low groan, and sank her teeth into her ghoul.

The effect was immediate. The man shuddered, let out his own groans, and started to fall back. He lay upon the fur blankets once more, and his hands fell to the sides as well. Whole body, trembling and shivering, as Jennifer sank her fangs deep into him and started to drink him. Course, the woman had been working them up to it with sex, so Beatrice couldn’t help but stare as the two also climaxed.

Ok, maybe she could watch just a little longer.

As Jennifer drank the man, Kissed the man, her ghoul behind her roamed his hands up and down her curved back, and started to thrust into her ass a little harder. Couldn’t thrust hard, now that he was on his ass, but more than enough to get some mewls from the woman. But she kept her fangs deep in the other man’s neck, and suckling and drinking, as he himself quivered. Beatrice could tell he was cumming inside her, no doubt absolutely pouring into her; no kine could resist the pleasure of the Kiss. And a Kiss with an orgasm to go along with it must have been amazing.

Finally, Jennifer sat up, and leaned back against the man behind her. With their bodies out of the way, Beatrice bit her lip, staring at where Jennifer’s smooth pussy was spread open on her ghoul’s cock. White drops were leaking out of her, onto the wet skin of the man’s pelvis, wetter than sweat would cause. Course, sex addict that she was, Jennifer had soaked the man in her girl cum, and the kine’s fluids mixed into it as he slipped into a post-Kiss coma.

Jennifer leaned back even more, and let the ghoul in front of her fall out of her body. With her legs spread, there was no hiding the dripping white that spilled out of her lips and onto the softening cock of her pet. The remaining ghoul backed up a foot to give them more room, while Jennifer remained in his lap, leaning back and up to kiss at the man’s neck. Her ghoul slipped one of his hands between her thighs, and sank his fingers into her cum-filled snatch.

A couple thrusts earned some mewls from Jennifer, and her exposed lips dripped more of her juices as the man behind her started to cum as well. Without the Kiss to render him comatose, he was free to keep thrusting, his own groans coming through as the two climaxed. Jennifer made sure to push her ass back into the man, her back too, and spread her legs so Beatrice didn’t miss a thing.

God damn it.

After a minute of gentle thrusting and cuddling, the man fell out of her, and she sat down on his legs, cum dripping down her ass and thighs. But she barely seemed to notice as she got comfortable straddling his knees, and stretched out her arms above her head.

“Thank you,” she said. “You watched a lot longer than normal. I like that.”

Course she did.

“I really shouldn’t. I have a boyfriend, Jennifer.”

“Did you ask him yet? About my proposal?”

“ ... no.”

Jennifer frowned and folded her arms across her bare chest. “Why not?”

“Can ... can we just focus on the problem, please?

“Fine.” Beatrice’s clone leaned back and pat the man behind her. “Be a dear, get the wash ready?”

The ghoul nodded, and without so much as wiping off the cum still on his cock, got up and headed out of the room into the main cavern. Beatrice quirked a brow and watched; no one else reacted.

“So, Invictus and Carthians. I do happen to know that it is Maria being a thorn in Garry’s side in the Mirrden area, where all that construction is happening. She’s pushing to have old homes in the area torn down, and for the Mirrden company to set up some quote-unquote business facilities.” The Ventrue raised her fingers to literally quote ‘business facilities’ before she crawled over to the comatose ghoul still on the blankets, and straddled his chest.

“Any idea why? Not like she couldn’t expand Xnomina into other areas.”

“Well you know about them and Lucas.”

“Yeah but, is that it?” Beatrice said.

“Hmm. A friend of a friend of a friend said Garry was found in Tony’s old tunnels, the ones Lucas took over, and he destroyed some pretty important objects to the Lancea et Sanctum.”

God damn it Garry. Dude really had a hate boner for the Longinus lovers.

“Thanks Jennifer. I’m gonna go talk to him.”

The Ventrue frowned at her, nose scrunching up and lines creasing her forehead.

“ ... be careful.”

Beatrice again raised a brow. But nodded, and left.

The Carthian half of South Side. Bars, steak restaurants, hardware stores, garages, a pleasant mix of crime and old fashioned grit. Neighborhoods with people sitting on the front porches, drinking beer or smoking cigarettes. Old cars parked on the streets, and grocery stores with signs in the parking lot advertising food on sale.

Much as she liked the high-class half of the Invictus territory, there was something more real about the Carthian half. People here weren’t full of themselves, at least not in the same way. They knew the price of milk, they knew doing cocaine could get you arrested, they knew what noodles and ramen tasted like, they knew the names of local cops. A place where your neighbors had names and faces, even in the apartment buildings. You didn’t necessarily like them, and some you probably hated, but you knew them. A far cry from the nameless, faceless, weightless anonymity of the richer half of the city.

She stuck to the rooftops. In the middle of the night, only streetlights were going to expose her, so the rooftops made traveling easier for a Nosferatu; better than having her face spotted by a kine. It took a while, but she found the familiar rooftops of the Carthian district, of old schools and old homes, old apartment buildings and older corner stores. The further she went out, the more rundown everything got.

Damn she missed this place. She missed the cars with the cracked windshields and dented bumpers, she missed the homes with the stained siding, she missed the roads with the asphalt patches. Hell, she missed the noisy loiterers who liked to hang around on street corners with a stereo playing. Course over the past twenty years of her embrace, it went from boomboxes to cars with loud stereos to the latest incarnation, jackasses taking selfies doing stupid shit. And yet she still missed it. It was home, for a damn long time.

Been a while since she’d left these people, would they just let her in again? Other Kindred stood around, talking with each other, leaning against walls and streetlights and gesturing and nodding with enthusiasm. Some sounded angry, some sounded happy, everyone did a double take on her as she passed by once she got back onto the street. A few of her acquaintances managed some nods, and a few of the people she’d bashed horns with growled or groaned, depending on how much she annoyed them back in the day. But at least they were a familiar pain; she knew them, they knew her. Good enough to let her go on through.

She found the apartment building Garry lived in. The one she used to live in. Front door was never locked, and she stepped in, but not before a little hesitation.

Couldn’t help but smile as she looked at the walls with peeling paint, the cracked windows and water-damaged stairs and carpet. No, it wasn’t home anymore, and she honestly preferred the badass metal cave of the Circle of the Crone; didn’t mean she didn’t miss this one too.

“Beatrice, the fuck you doing here?”

Ah, Joe, of course. Guard dog.

“Here to see Garry.”

“About?”

“He said he wanted to sell your ass to a local pimp.”

“Fuck off.” Joe frowned at her and pushed her shoulder hard enough to make her take a step back. Mr. Big-n-Bald wrestler man getting some major balls on him.

Whatever, she could take him. He had maybe five or ten years on her, nothing she couldn’t handle. She reached out, and pushed him back, foot against the wall behind her so she had something to brace against. Dude was double her weight.

“How about you fuck off? I want to talk to Garry.”

“You can’t just—”

“I’m not some random fuck off the street, Joe! You know me well enough to know you can trust me, so how about you get the fuck out of my way?”

Mistake.

Joe punched her, hard. She expected he might throw a swing, but not that he’d throw a swing hard enough to smash her head against the lobby wall. Bone nearly cracked when her skull collided with wood and drywall, before she fell down onto her knees and hands.

“Damn right I know you. Two fucking decades you lived here with me, working for Garry when the Invictus were breathing down our necks. Two fucking decades you were part of this family, and we looked out for each other.” The brute stared down at her, hands in fists at his side, eyebrows furrowed to the point he looked like an angry rodent. “Now you think you can just waltz in here? Fucking an Invictus, that was strike one. Leaving the Carthians for the Crone? That’s strike two.” He reached down and picked her up by the neck.

“Where’s strike three?” she said through the pain and groans.

“Never could count very high.”

Again, fist collided with her face, crushing her nose and sending her into the wall again. She rolled like a bag of sand, heavy and bending until she settled on her back along the floor by the door. Leave it to Joe to put a damper on her nostalgia.

“I’m still your ally,” she said. Jaw still working, but the nose was definitely a flat smudge on her face. Vitae was quick to start healing it, but actually realigning a nose took some physical force, and she groaned as she put her hands to her face, and twisted the cartilage back into place.

“Says you. I say fuck you.”

“And Garry? What does he say?”

“Garry ain’t said shit. And I figure it’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission.” He started walking toward her again, and along with a very inhuman growl, inhuman claws started to grow from his hands. Long claws, thick, massive, and heavy. “So I’m going to smack you around a bit before then. Hope you don’t mind.”

Well, at least he didn’t plan to kill her, that was nice of him.

“Joe, asking you one more time, get the fuck out of my way.”

“Oh I hope you can stay so confident when I’ve got a few claws jammed up your cunt. I’m going to—”

Fuck. Him.

“Alone,” she said.

“What?”

“You’re alone.”

“I ... I...”

She stared at the man, at the big, dumb man, and stood up. Joe had stopped moving, and the frown of his eyebrows faded as he met her eyes.

“You’re alone. Everyone’s abandoned you. Alone in an empty city, with no one to talk to, no one to feed on, no one anywhere.” The power poured up into her, through her, into her fingers and claws, into her spine, and up into her eyes. But it was her words that carried the weight. “All. Alone.”

“Alone...” Joe fell to his knees. The Gangrel claws of his hands faded away, and the anger along with them. Open eyes stared up at her as she forced the nightmare upon him, drilled it into his Kindred mind, and down into his stupid bald soul.

Sighing, she shook her shoulders out and dusted herself off. Fuck that hurt. Fuck Joe. Fuck him. Fuck him fuck him fuck him. She stood in front of the kneeling man, and waved a hand in his face.

He didn’t move. Didn’t blink. Didn’t look at her in any way. Just stared into the distance, with fear etched all over his face.

“Someone ... anyone?” he said. “Someone help me ... someone ... anyone...”

Fuck, now she felt horrible. The big guy was just one of the guard dogs for the Carthians, and dogs were pack animals. He cared for his family, to a fault, just like all dogs did. And now he was trapped in his mind, thinking they were gone, that everyone was gone, and that he was alone in the whole god damn world.