Chapter 21

“Everyone else has arrived at dinner,” The nurse Rudy entered the labor room in proper medical get up. I was knelt over Mel. She was crossing over her twenty-seventh hour of labor. “They’re waiting for you.”

I brushed Mel’s hair and squeezed her wrist. He, I, threatened me that I wouldn’t have these moments. I’d burn out, stop existing, and he’d carry on in my corpse. I wouldn’t witness the firsts, the seconds, the eighty-eighths of any of my children. Was I just going to walk away from Mel? From the birth of Jacob Brian Tanner-Hess? Jacob for the twins’s father. She wanted it to go the other way, but I wasn’t naming my son (or daughter) BJ. The flash of memories were shocking. I had to force myself back to the present.

“Stay!” She pleaded. I looked to the doctor. She was tall Caribbean woman, fair skinned black with bright green eyes. She even had freckles. She had the confidence and care I was willing to entrust Mel to. I frowned.

“It could be hours yet,” the doctor explained. “Her last contractions were still thirty one minutes apart.”

“Stay!” Mel begged. “I need you to come back again.”

“I have to go or I’ll never be able to come back again,” I rubbed her cheek. We could see me smiling through my paper mask. She took a breath through her oxygen mask. “And I’m not going--”

“What?” Mel worried.

“Who do you want here?” I asked, terrified of the answer.

“I want you!” She growled.

“Me me? Or powerful heartless me?” I couldn’t make the words not sound like an accusation but I said them as calmly and softly as I could. I broke eye contact. I didn’t have to force her. Vanessa warned me that inflicting mind control during the heightened stress and hormones of birth had left Amanda scatterbrained for days.

“You’re never heartless!” Mel shook her head. “I need the man I fell in love with...”

“You have him,” I leaned forward and kissed her forehead. “It’s on me to make sure I take care of myself and recover.” I looked down her body. The medical team thought I had three heads. I looked back to Mel. “I have to go face myself. Do you want me to get Ellie to stay with you?”

“No,” Mel shook her head. “This isn’t a twin thing! I don’t want to be Mel and Ellie today! This is a Mel and Brian thing!”

“It really is.” I ran my hand over her belly and felt as the next contraction started to rock her. I reached for her hand. She grabbed me tight. I looked up at Rudy. I had to choose, what was more important? This one memory or all memories? Mel’s face stabbed into my soul. I sailed with her through the contraction. She breathed madly as it tapered off.

“Nurse, time?” The job of the medical team ignored our family drama. I admired the professionalism.

“Thirty six minutes between the last one.”

“That went up!” Mel snarled. I grinned. Even stressed Mel was less snappish than Rena had been. I wondered how many people got to see this many sides of women in this scenarios. I mean this many fathers. There were a lot of midwives and obstetricians out there. I stroked Mel’s bangs as she wheezed out a few happy breaths.

“I can meet our son today, or I can know our son for his whole life.” I told her. “I don’t want to leave you. I have to handle this or, as good as I got at becoming a father, I’m never going to be a good dad.”

“If you stay, you’ll remember. You remember when you’re treating it, not when you’re sick.” She said. She flinched as I scowled at that. She turned her face from mine. She’d have thrust her shoulder up and blocked me out if the medical team didn’t keep her in position. “Go, I know you have to.”

“If there’s anyone you need? I’ll send them as soon as I can.” I ran my fingers around her ear. My heart was breaking as I watched her.

“Just get back here.” She blubbered. I kissed her again. It would’ve been a peck on the forehead but she turned her her head back and grabbed my ear. She pulled her breathing mask away and demanded it on the lips. I left the surgical mask around my neck as I left this time. I sent back one warm smile and all of the love I could from the door. Mel gave me an OK sign. I waved and turned to leave. Rudy fell into step beside me.

“You’re my escort?” I asked.

“Absolutely,” She nodded, “It’s so nice not to be called a whore sometimes.”

“I meant you’re walking me to the Strip. Escorting me there.” I frowned. “You like being called a whore sometimes?”

“When your hair is being pulled and your ankles are handcuffed to the headboard over you? You kinda need to be called a whore.” She grinned.

“I never felt like I was a handcuffs kinda guy.” I said.

“You’re not. Larry does that though. Especially when he’s had a really good day.” I was not expecting Rudy to say the word good.

The Vietnamese girl at the clinic front desk waved as we hit the open doors. I stopped Rudy with a hand on her elbow.

“I’m going to walk myself, I think.” I decided.

“Do I go back to my shift? Vanessa’s waiting with the family.” She worried.

“What do you want to do?” I raised a smirk.

“I want to go to The Castle and be a guest.” She muttered, “Eat bad food, play stupid games, waterslides.”

“That’s your job then,” I rubbed her hair. “Go take care of Rudy.”

“Really? I can go--Oh,” She did smile, “I’m still going to be on the job if a client wants me. It’s still awesome but it isn’t the same.”

“Nope,” I shook my head. “The only person you have to answer to is Rudy. All the way until sunrise tomorrow if you’re up. If you crash, take as long and as late you sleep in.”

“Oh my God...” She went white and then she laughed and jumped. I was collided into a hug. “I don’t think anyone’s ever got a free run like that. Ever.”

“The point is its a resort that has to be sexy and it should be fun.” I pushed her to the waiting cart. “Go fun yourself.”

“You’re walking?” She worried. “No one ever walks.”

“Why not? This whole place is a paradise.” I said and started down the path along the edge. Her cart trundled by me. I picked up the pace into a light jog. I was still amazed at how strong I felt. How easy it was to move. How could I have let myself get chubby and lazy? It was never happening again.

Twice, carts rolled up to me and asked if I wanted a ride down. The jog was only long enough to last six minutes uninterrupted. I told the first girl no. The second cart held my Valkyrie and Nastya. I shook my head and ran into the Strip’s intersection. We were dozen of feet away by the time they arrived for me.

They were dressed for the strip. Nastya in a sleek blue dress down to her diamond strapped stilettos. The Valkyrie wore a red corset over a little black dress. It was nice, striking, elegant, and both were there to give way to me. I got excited by both girls but I didn’t trust myself. Sending friendly faces with eager libidos, it had to be the best trick to get me to burn out.

I crossed by the fountain. There was a redheadl with a green mermaid tail relaxing in the evening sun. I would’ve stopped had I not been paranoid. I shook my head and ran up the steps to Chez Shan-Marie.

A dark haired woman with fair skin and over red lips came to me at the doors in.

“Bonsoir, Maitre.” She looked me up and down. “This is a black tie establishment. Do you want me to call a suit for you?”

“That’s unnecess--” A flash of data. Images of the girl in front of me sweaty, red, and semen stained. She played Snow White at the Globe. Her name never came to me. I was enamored with the image in my mind. The desire and glee in the blue eyes I had pictured were an artifact of the drug. She had left behind one monogamous boyfriend after being ethically recruited. Her personality test warned she had not been built for this but that she would recover and carry her memories well. I shook my head. “Of course. And send it up to the banquet room.”

“If you must, may I direct you around the bar and up the server’s stairs?” She worried. “We do not wish to ruin the experience for your guests.”

I nodded and she walked me out the main doors and down the front steps to enter through the bay doors where the food was delivered and distributed through the handful fo restaurants in the tower. Lots of servers and cooks were moving with speed. I’d turn my eyes on a face and need to stop. I was flickering with every heartbeat of eye contact I made.

There was nothing substantial. I was hit with random ideas or data points. Dakota, she was waving to show that I was excited to see her. She was wielding her closeness to me and my father against the other girls. Pilar, she needed to be let go from The Globe because she couldn’t maintain a role play through orgasm or anal sex. Traci, should have been gone by my second white in, but because she was the first girl my undrugged mind had seen she was kept around to play me.

I took off running and knew which stairs I needed to take. Snow White smiled and followed at a measured pace. I stormed through Chez’s prep station. I tried not to meet anyone’s eyes. I couldn’t help meet one pair. Jade was to be our server tonight. She was a lithe little Asian girl. Born in California to mixed race dad and a Vietnamese mother, her dark skin and almond eyes were more than a little striking.

She had been one of the girls I had seen that first white-in with Larry in bed. An acceptable whore on an island swarming with phenomenal whores. After five months she hadn’t attracted a single guest for a second time. By three months in, almost every whore had made some impression on somebody that they had spent a whole weekend on one arm and in one bed. She should have been on the next plane out. The perfect misfire to gift to Larry.

My guts seized. Knowing I had snagged Shani out of his arms wrecked me. My memory flooded. Shani was for Shani. I loved her. Larry loved her. She was family and in my drug fueled hubris I had to commit to that. Larry was family. Larry was my brother. I couldn’t only take from him.

But we were brothers. We fight like brothers. And with the help of the mind clarifying and focusing drug, I remembered all of the childish feuds and conflicts with the focused vengeance of sisters. Fights and bullyings that had lasted minutes and were forgiven in hours were open and fresh wounds with that drug in me. I’m not going to leave you alone, Larry! Here, have Jade, no one else wants her, she’s perfect for you.