Jokes and Giggles Part Two
Chapter 342

Copyright© 2017 by Jack Spratt

Say thanks to Allan B.

What units are used to measure the integrity of Iranian clerics?
Mullah-grams


You can’t trust Iranian clerics.
Ayattold you so.


The Chinese Coronavirus is also called the Kung Flu.


There was an old woman who lived in a shoe, She had so many children, didn’t know what to do.
So she sold the old shoe and doesn’t give a hoot.
She took out a mortgage, now she lives in a boot.


Og the caveman sat in his cave chewing on a mammoth bone. Suddenly his mate ran into the cave screaming, “Og! Og! Come quickly! A sabertooth tiger just ran into mother’s cave.”

“So what”, said Og, tossing the well-gnawed bone over his shoulder. “Who the hell cares what happens to a sabertooth tiger.”


Why did Hillary cross the road?
To get to the other bribe.


I used to think that stick and stones could break my bones, but words could never harm me – until I fell into a printing press.


I have a cousin who could have been an Ex-president of the US. He’s an undertaker for the army – a Barrack Embalmer...


I used to provide Filofaxes for the Mafia.
I was involved in very organized crime.


I had a grandfather who could never throw anything away.
He died in the war, holding on to a hand grenade.


Hepatitis B is a dangerous insect.


Some people like cats. The pope, for example. He’s a Cat-a-holic...


I worked as a doctor for the World Health Organization. I didn’t mean to. I thought I was auditioning for Dr. WHO.


Exam question: Discuss the possibility of time travel.
You have one hour, starting three hours ago.


Another exam question: What is that round thing they throw at the Olympics. Discus.


Dr. : It’s a curvature of the upper spine, but that’s just a hunch.


Your wife left, she’s taken the kids. She even took the dog. All your friends have sided with her. Welcome to Lonely Planet...


For a once in a lifetime experience - Dignitas


In preparation for the school outing, I would like to invite all the gay and lesbian children to the front of the auditorium.

 
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