Chapter 333

Say thanks to R. McFee ‎for this one

Divine Revelation

My late father was a convert to Catholicism and, like most converts, was enthusiastic in his faith. He told me a story from his younger days, relating to the process by which one entered into the Catholic Church.

His story went along the lines of this one fellow, seeking to convert, had classes with the local parish priest. He studied the Catholic Catechism, and attended Mass, and generally began to assume the trappings of the devout.

One day, in class with the priest, he shared one item that confused him. “Father, I do not get this entire Divine Revelation thing. It makes no sense to me.”

The priest verified that his pupil was reading the assigned parts of the catechism, and was, indeed, performing the exercises assigned for home study and reflection.

He deliberated upon this faith issue for the new convert, and decided that a clinical exercise was called for.

“My son, next Sunday, after Mass, at exactly noon, go and stand in the very center of the church garden. Spread wide your arms, cast your gaze to Heaven, and await the Divine Revelation that will assuredly come to you! Let us speak of it, in the class that follows.”

The student was puzzled, but, whatever, the priest was learned in The Gospel, and related teachings of The Church, and he figured that the priest knew whereof he spake.

The next class began at the appointed time, and the convert was twitching in his eagerness to share with the priest, what he had learned.

“So, Father, last Sunday, I went to the church garden, right after mass. I made certain to set myself in the exact middle of the garden, just as you had directed. I looked at my watch, and, at exactly noon, I cast my gaze heavenward, spread my arms and awaited a Divine Revelation.”

“As you likely recall, last Sunday it was raining it’s ass off. I got soaked, water ran down my neck, my shoes got soaked, and I felt like an idiot! What do you have to say about that, huh?”

The priest leaned back in his chair, reflected for a moment, and regarded his pupil. “I’m a bit jealous, That’s a mighty fine revelation, for your first time out!”