Chapter 297

Compliments of bobw40 ‎

A woman walked into the auto parts store asking for an extra-long dipstick because the one in the motor did not reach the oil.

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Say thank to mixerman478 ‎ for these:

What do you do if your wife starts smoking?

“Slow down and possibly use some lubricant.

What’s the best thing about fingering a gypsy on her period?

“You get your palm red for free.

How do you know that you have a high sperm count?

“She has to chew before she swallows.

How do you get a Nun pregnant?

“Dress her up as an altar boy

Know what old pussy tastes like?

“Eh. Depends

Why does a mermaid wear seashells?

“Because she outgrew her B-shells

Two deer walk out of a gay bar...

One says to the other, ‘Man, I can’t believe I blew forty bucks in there!’

A man is sitting at the bar, his head in his hands.

“Bartender: What’s the matter buddy?

Man: It’s the worst thing ever. I caught my wife in bed with my best friend.

Bartender: Oh man that really sucks! What did you do?

Man: I told her to pack her shit and get the hell out!

Bartender: What about your best friend?

Man: I looked him straight in the eyes and said BAD DOG!”

What’s the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?

“The taste.

What did one lesbian vampire say to another lesbian vampire?

“Same time next month?

What’s the difference between hungry and horny?

“Where you stick the cucumber

What do you call the lesbian version of a cock block?

“A beaver dam.