Jokes and Giggles Part Two
Chapter 260

Copyright© 2017 by Jack Spratt

Compliments of dorsetmike

The Annual Spoonerism Conference was hit by rumours of a delegate food shortage. This was attributed to a pack of lies.


Say thanks to BBBB

Not original but they made me smile.

I am considering a new career in mirror cleaning. It is something I can see myself doing, (A Heads up:::: Jim7 applied for the job)


A guy walks into a bar and asks for a beer. “That’ll be five dollars”, says the bartender, and the guy throws 20 quarters onto the floor. Reluctantly, the bartender picks up the coins and serves the beer.

The next day, the guy comes into the bar, asks for a beer, and again throws 20 quarters onto the floor.

On the third day, he asks for a beer, and hands the bartender a $10 bill. The bartender takes advantage of his chance for revenge, throws 20 quarters onto the floor and yells “here’s your change then!” The guy looks down at the coins and says: “I’ll have another beer, please.”


A weasel walks into a bar.

The Bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never served a weasel before. What can I get you?”

“Pop,” goes the weasel.


Many thanks to J & B for the following.

Politically Correct Christmas Music

I saw that some radio stations are refusing to play “Baby It’s Cold Outside,” because a handful of hysterical people have lost their minds.

Why stop there? Here are some other holiday classics that should also definitely be banned...

  1. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus: condones cheating

  2. The Christmas Song: Open fire? Pollution. Folks dressed up like Eskimos? Cultural appropriation

  3. Holly Jolly Christmas: Kiss her once for me? Unwanted advances

  4. White Christmas? Racist

  5. Santa Claus is Coming to Town: Sees you when you’re sleeping? Knows when you’re awake? Peeping Tom stalker

  6. Most Wonderful Time of the Year: Everyone telling you be of good cheer? Forced to hide depression

  7. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: Bullying

  8. It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas: Forced gender-specific gifts: dolls for Janice and Jen and boots and pistols (GUNS!) for Barney and Ben

  9. Santa Baby: Gold digger, blackmail

  10. Frosty the Snowman: Sexist; not a snow woman

  11. Do You Hear What I Hear: blatant disregard for the hearing impaired

  12. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas: Make the yuletide GAY? Wow, just wow

  13. Jingle Bell Rock: Giddy up jingle horse, pick up your feet: animal abuse

  14. Mistletoe and Holly: Overeating, folks stealing a kiss or two? How did this song ever see the light of day?

  15. Winter Wonderland: Parson Brown demanding they get married ... forced partnership

  16. I’ll Be Home For Christmas: Not if you are homeless. That’s just Insensitive

  17. Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer: Homicide

 
There is more of this chapter...
The source of this story is Storiesonline

To read the complete story you need to be logged in:
Log In or
Register for a Free account (Why register?)

Get No-Registration Temporary Access*

* Allows you 3 stories to read in 24 hours.

Close
 

WARNING! ADULT CONTENT...

Storiesonline is for adult entertainment only. By accessing this site you declare that you are of legal age and that you agree with our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy.