Chapter 244

Say thanks to “Allan B”

I’m not a gynecologist, but I’ll take a look.

When a French person finishes a task, but the result is mediocre, is that called “feh accompli?”

I’m about three years into my relationship now and I’ve started to have erection difficulties. My girlfriend and I have different ideas as to what the problem is: she bought me some Viagra and I bought her a treadmill.

Three guys travel to Saudi Arabia and get lost. They walk into a tent that they think was the one they rented, but actually belongs to a prince with 3 hot wives. The prince comes home and thinks his wives are cheating on him. As a punishment, he tells them that their penises will have to be cut off in some way relating to their occupation.

He asks the first guy what his job was.

“I’m an employee at the shooting range,” he replies.

“Then we’ll shoot your dick off!” the prince says.

“I’m a fireman,” the second guy says.

“Then we’ll burn your cock off!” says the prince.

The third guy smiles and says, “I’m a lollipop salesman.”

Stan is seconds away from receiving a vasectomy when his brother and sister-in-law barge in holding their newborn baby.

“Stop! You can’t do this!” exclaims the brother.

“And why not?” asks Stan.

“Don’t you want to have a beautiful baby someday? Like my wife and I have here?”

Stan says nothing.

The brother grows impatient, “C’mon Stan, I want a nephew. Stan, make me an uncle.”

Stan can’t take it anymore. He gives his sister-in-law an apologetic look and asks his brother, “You’re sure you want a nephew?”

“Yes,” the brother replies. “It would be an honor.”

“Well, congratulations, you’re holding him.”

Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives.

“Do you and your wife ever do it doggie style?” asked the one.

“Well, not exactly.” His friend replied, “She’s more into the trick dog aspect of it.”

“Oh, I see, kinky, huh?”

“Well, not exactly. I sit up and beg, and she rolls over and plays dead.”

A statue of a naked woman and a naked man stand in a park at night. Suddenly from out of nowhere, a magical genie arrives and grants the statues each one wish to be fulfilled. Both the female and male statues agree on 15 minutes as a real man and woman in the bushes behind them to “get things done.”

The genie gives a knowing grin and grants the wish. The man and woman immediately jump behind the bushes and screaming sounds and laughter can be heard from their activities. 12 minutes later they return to the front of the bush again claiming they are finished.