Chapter 233

This one is compliments of J& B.

Informed

The defendant and his lawyer are in the courtroom, the man being charged with theft. The lawyer tells the crusty old judge, “My lord, my client has produced receipts for, firstly, the high speed modem.”

“High-speed modem?” questions the judge.

“Yes” replies the lawyer, “It allows computers to communicate over vast distances at high rates of speed. It allows email and something called cybersex in AOL chatrooms, your honor.”

“Cybersex?” says the judge, “You mean sex through a modem? You mean sex on a monitor? Good lord, the morals of this society! Sex should be a natural event of nature!”

“Secondly, my lord,” continues the lawyer, “My client can produce a receipt for the 12-speed cd-rom.”

“12-speed cd-rom?” queries the judge.

“Yes my lord, it enables millions of bits of information to be read off a small disk.”

“And I suppose most of this information is cybersex related ... Modern technology and modern society, baffling, just baffling,” comments the judge. “ ‘m appalled at what technology is doing to society these days.”

“Thirdly my lord, my client can produce a receipt for the super deluxe inflatable milk maid, whatever that is.”

“That’s the one with the silicone breasts and real hair,” replies the judge.

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Say thanks to Krista T for this one.

A woman is sitting at her husband’s funeral. A man leans in to her and asks; “Do you mind if I say a word?” She nods; “Go ahead.”

The man stands, clears his throat and says; “Plethora!” and sits back down.

“Thanks,” the widow says. “That means a lot.

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