Chapter 219

This one is compliments of dorsetmike

Bibbo was killed in a fire and badly burned.

His two best friends were asked to go to the morgue to identify him.

First one went in and after looking at the face, said turn him over.

He then shook his head and said that’s not Bibbo

The other friend went in. As with his friend, he said turn him over. He then also shook his head and said that’s not Bibbo.

How do you know, asked the policeman?

Well, they said, Bibbo was pretty unique and this guy isn’t.

How, asked the policeman?

Well, every time we used to come into town to have a drink at the Bar, the barman used to shout here’s Bibbo with the two assholes - and that guy on the slab has only got one!

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This one is compliments of gnostic

this guy was all depressed about ending up in hell, so the devil took him aside and explained that hell was all about sin, and sin is fun.

“did you like to eat when you were on earth” asked the devil.

“sure” the guy replied

“well, you’ll like Mondays then, that’s gluttony night. I gather up all the men in hell, bring the back to my place, and if it was available there it’s here. you’ll never gain weight, never have indigestion, you’re already dead so no consequences”

then devil went on

“you like to drink?”

“sure, i’d go through a case of beer every weekend”

“well you’ll like Tuesday, that’s drunkards night. I gather up all the men in hell and bring the back to my place and we all drink all night. no hangovers, no puking, no blackouts.”

the devil grinned,

“you like drugs?”

“sure, i’d toke up every Friday”

“well Wednesday is junkies night. I gather up all the men in hell and bring the back to my place and we shoot up, snort, swallow, smoke anything you want. no bad trips, no od’s, no getting hooked”

the devil then asked

“you gay?”

“nope”

“you’re not much gonna like Thursday then.”

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