Chapter 212

A city girl was driving back to town after attending a family funeral when she ran out of gas. It was getting late so she asked two good ol’ boys sitting on the stoop of a mobile home where she could get some gas.

“Well,” said one, “the fillin’ station ain’t open ‘till tomorrie, but I reckon you kin stay the night with me & Billy-Bob here.”

She accepted, only to be told that there was only one bed, which both Billy-Bob & Billy-Ray slept in. Thinking it might be fun, she went ahead anyway. When all three of them were all tucked in, they were just about to jump her bones when she halted proceedings.

Pulling out two condoms, she said, “You nice boys wouldn’t want me to get pregnant, would you? Here, put these on.”

They did. The three of them proceeded to have the time of their lives. In the morning the car got gassed up and our girl went back to the city.

Three months later, Billy-Bob and Billy-Ray were sitting on the stoop, chewin’ on some RedMan.

“D’ya remember that city girl who stopped by here a while back?” asked Billy-Ray.

“Ah sure do,” said Billy-Bob, with a smirk.

“D’ya really care if she gets pregnant?”

“Nah,” said Billy-Bob.

“Well, let’s get these STUPID things off of our dicks!”

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What do you call a West Virginian which a sheep under each arm?

A pimp!

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In the backwoods of Arkansas, Mr. Stewart’s wife went into labor in the middle of the night. The doctor was called in to assist in the delivery.

To keep the nervous father-to-be busy, the doctor handed him a lantern and said, “Here, you hold this high so I can see what I’m doing.” Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world.

“Don’t be in a rush to put the lantern down. I think there’s yet another wee one to come.” Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered another baby.

“Now don’t be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern, young man. It seems there’s yet another!” cried the doctor.

The new father scratched his head in bewilderment and asked the doctor. “Do ya think it’s the light that’s attractin’ them?”