Chapter 211

The wife is complaining about me again to the neighbors She now tells everyone I’m 300% impotent.
A few days ago I was only 100%, not 300%.
According to her after I fell down the stairs, broke my finger and bit my tongue...
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My wife dropped her keys & said “What’s WRONG with me?”
I named 6 things before I realized it was a rhetorical question.
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Sometimes I’m right. Other times my wife is close enough to hear what I’m saying.

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My wife asked me today if I would ever cheat on her. I replied, “Who else would I cheat on?”

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I told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made me an appointment for tomorrow afternoon.

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I married my wife for her looks. Just not the ones she’s been giving me lately.

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It’s nice that after 17 years of marriage I can still have a sex dream about my wife.
Last night the role of my wife was played by Jessica Alba.
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My wife always cheats when we play board games, like last night, we were all playing Monopoly and she was next door fucking the neighbor.

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A husband comes home and asks the wife what she’d do if he won the lottery.
Wife: I’d take half and leave your ass.
Husband: I won $12, here’s 6 bucks now get the fuck out!