Chapter 171

Thanks to J & B for the following.

The Conference

At a conference on the supernatural, one of the speakers asked, “Who here has ever seen a ghost?”

Most of the hands go up.

“And how many of you have had some form of interaction with a ghost?”

About half the hands stay up.

“OK, now how many of you have had physical contact with a ghost?”

Three hands stay up; there’s a slight murmur in the crowd.

“Gosh, that’s pretty good. OK, have any of you ever, uh, been intimate with a ghost?”

One hand stays up.

The speaker blinks. “Gosh, sir, are you telling us that you’ve actually had sexual contact with a ghost?”

The guy with his hand up suddenly blushes and says, “Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you said, ‘goat’.”

The wager

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy finds an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, “Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole.”

The grandfather replies, “I’ll bet you five dollars you can’t. It’s too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole.”

The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hairspray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as aboard. Then he puts the worm back into the hole.

The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hairspray, and runs into the house. Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the little boy another five dollars.

The little boy says, “Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars.”

The grandfather replies, “I know. That’s from your grandma.”