Chapter 124

These are compliments of fmwarmac

This is the story about a little girl that didn’t know what cursing or what sex was. Two nights before thanksgiving, she heard her parents having sex.

Her father said: “Oh honey, I love your luscious tits.”

Then her mother said: “And I love your slim dick!”

The next morning, the girl asked her father what “luscious tits” were.

The father panicked. “It’s a fine coat.” He said.

The little girl then asked her mother what a “slim dick” is. The mother panicked and said: “It’s a pair of boots.”

The next morning was thanksgiving, she walked past her father shaving in the bathroom.

He cut him self and exclaimed: “Oh, shit!”

The little girl asked what shit meant. “I’m shaving right now, sweety” said her father.

Then the girl went into the kitchen where her mother was cooking the turkey. She accidentally dropped it on the floor and said: “Oh, fuck!”

“What does fuck mean?” Asked the little girl.

“I’m cooking the turkey right now, sweety.” replied her mother.

Then the door bell rang. Her mother told her to go open the door and welcome the thanksgiving guests.

The little girl walked up, opened the door and said: “Hello everyone! Hang up your luscious tits, drop your slim dicks, my dad’s upstairs shitting and my mum’s fucking the turkey.”

Little Johnny is in his closet when he hears a noise. His mom comes in and starts having sex with someone other than his dad. He hears a door slam and his mother say “Oh no, my husband his home! Quick! Hide in the closet.”

The man get in the closet and little Johnny says: “Dark in here isn’t it?”

The man is startled but then calms down. “Yes it is.”

“Do you want to buy my baseball glove?”

“No.”

“I could go to my dad.”

“Fine. How much?”

“200$”

“Fine.”

This happens again later in the week.

“Dark in here isn’t it?”

“Yes, yes it is.”

“Do you want to buy my baseball bat?”

“How much?”

“300$”

A few days later his dad wants to play ball with him and tells him to go get his glove and bat.

“I can’t. I sold them to my friends.”

“For how much?”

“500$”

“That is way too much. I am taking you to church right now for a confession.”

They get to the church and little Johnny gets in the booth.

“Dark in here, isn’t it?”

The reverend says: “Don’t start that shit again. Your in MY closet now.”

An old blind guy goes for a job at a lumberyard. During the interview, the owner says, “You’re blind, how can you possibly tell one piece of wood from another?”