Jokes and Giggles Part Two - Cover

Jokes and Giggles Part Two

Copyright© 2017 by Jack Spratt

Chapter 26

This item is compliments of bobw40‎10

From A School Principal’s speech at a graduation...

He said “A Doctor wants his child to become a doctor...

An Engineer wants his child to become an engineer...

A Businessman wants his ward to become a CEO...

BUT a teacher also wants his child to become one of them... !!!!

Nobody wants to become a teacher BY CHOICE... Very sad but that’s the truth... !!!

The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life.

One man, a CEO, decided to explain the problem with education. He argued, “What’s a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?”

To stress his point he said to another guest; “You’re a teacher, Bonnie. Be honest. What do you make?”

Teacher Bonnie, who had a reputation for honesty and frankness replied, “You want to know what I make?

(She paused for a second, then began... )

“Well, I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could.

I make a C+ feel like the Congressional Medal of Honor winner.

I make kids sit through 40 minutes of class time when their parents can’t make them sit for 5 min. without an I Pod, Game Cube or movie rental.

You want to know what I make?

(She paused again and looked at each and every person at the table)

I make kids wonder.

I make them question.

I make them apologize and mean it.

I make them have respect and take responsibility for their actions.

I teach them how to write and then I make them write. Keyboarding isn’t everything.

I make them read, read, read.

I make them show all their work in math. They use their God given brain, not the man-made calculator.

I make my students from other countries learn everything they need to know about English while preserving their unique cultural identity.

I make my classroom a place where all my students feel safe.

Finally, I make them understand that if they use the gifts they were given, work hard, and follow their hearts, they can succeed in life

(Bonnie paused one last time and then continued.)

Then, when people try to judge me by what I make, with me knowing money isn’t everything, I can hold my head up high and pay no attention because they are ignorant. You want to know what I make.

I MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN ALL YOUR LIVES, EDUCATING KIDS AND PREPARING THEM TO BECOME CEO’s, AND DOCTORS AND ENGINEERS...

What do you make Mr. CEO?

His jaw dropped; he went silent.

THIS IS WORTH SENDING TO EVERY PERSON YOU KNOW. Even all personal teachers like mother, father, brother, sister, coach and spiritual leader/teacher.


This one is compliments of geoff1010‎11

Angus and Lizzie were an old dairy farming couple and Angus is up every morning at 5:30 milking the cows. Sunday comes around and after the milking is finished Lizzie tells Angus to get ready for church as the new minister is preaching that morning, All is fine until the minister starts his sermon and he goes on and on and Angus drops off to sleep. After a few moments he starts to snore so Lizzie tries to waken him but Angus sleeps on.

As they are leaving church after the service Lizzie stops and apologizes to the minister and explains that Angus is up at 5:30 milking the cows.

The minister replies that she shouldn’t worry and the solution to the problem is to chop up some garlic and onions very finely and keep them in a plastic bag and the next time he falls asleep and starts snoring, to open the bag and hold it under his nose.

Lizzie follows the instructions and the next Sunday when, as usual, Angus falls asleep and starts snoring, she pulls out the bag and holds it under Angus’s nose.

He grumps a bit and finally shaking his head he says “Lizzie, will you get your feet off the pillow!”

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