Chapter 9

“We can deal with that question when we come to it, Reg. I presume Sidra will have her own room?”

“We can arrange that. If you are at ease with that excursion, then fine. I haven’t a date fixed yet, but I expect the trip to take two or three days, perhaps four, depending on conditions at the farmer’s field, and any adverse weather I have to contend with. Just tell Sidra that it is in preparation, but we may have to leave any day, without much advance warning.”

“Do you need me to drive, Reg?”

“I was aiming to go by train, and take a taxi for the last bit of the journey,”Reg admitted.

Jessica looked excited. “That could be fun. It is ages since I went on a train journey. He ... my husband ... didn’t like me going anywhere without him being along to supervise. Even trips to Sidra’s school for the school sports day. I think he liked watching all the girls in their athletics gear. I remember it made me feel uncomfortable.”

“Whatever made you send her to that school, Jessica? Sidra is too clever to fit into that bastion of mediocrity.”

“It was his decision. He wanted her to go to a private school, but he didn’t want to pay for the best, so settled for the cheapest. I got no say in the matter, nor did Sidra.”

“Well, she is learning now, and doing well with it, as far as I can tell.”

“Yes, she is. She was telling me how much of Europe was influenced by the Vikings and their ways. Russia was basically a creation of the Swedish Vikings, and Normandy was another Viking colony, she said. Apparently the Vikings travelled and traded over vast distances, as far as Constantinople, and through the Mediterranean as far as the Arabic countries. Money from Arabia has been found in hoards in the Baltic countries.”

“Yes, I knew about what she has picked up. I pointed Sidra in that general direction, to get her to see that European history is not all about the power of kings and queens. Often the monarchies were pushed by the Church of Rome to pursue particular policies; and economies were pushed in new directions through military or trading influences such as the Vikings. Power comes in various guises, and influences national decisions, military most of all in the medieval period.

Military power only survives until a power with better military strategies comes along. France found that the much-vaunted cavalry prowess of their nobles could not cope with the massed archers of the English army at the battle of Agincourt. Arrows from a distance could decimate the ranks of horsemen long before the cavalry could reach the enemy foot-soldiers. The arrows mostly injured or killed the horses, rather than the cavalryman, so they were then reduced to fighting on foot, in muddy ground, wearing their heavy armour. The English army was about 80 per cent longbow archers, so literally thousands of arrows were coming down on the French all the time. This was the battle that proved the supremacy of massed longbow archers over the previous supremacy of a heavy cavalry charge.”

Jessica accepted this, adding, “I am amazed at what Sidra has managed to absorb in a very short time here. Her private school failed to instil a love of learning, so the contrast is astonishing.”

“I have noted the change, Jessica, but what Sidra has really achieved is confidence in her own abilities. She is the same person, but where the school merely aimed at a basic level to suit a woman aiming at marriage, here she is aiming at challenging her own self. She is proving that working at improving yourself and enjoying the process is fulfilling in so many ways. A love of learning is what got me through my childhood years. Sidra has realised that her previous school experience was not really education, but a process of being prepared for a social background that was pre-selected for the pupils.

It was never about her, personally. Now it is. She is the one who now decides her future; no-one else. That was one of the reasons for getting her to study on her own, at whatever pace she can manage, covering whatever subjects she can get interested in. She will achieve much, I am sure.

Oh, she knows about having to pass the exams in specific subjects, but she will be learning about all of these subjects in the course of the next few months. Each of us will be watching to make sure she applies herself in reading subjects that she will have to face in the exams.

However, as I found, if you read widely enough, going through the textbooks required for a specific subject is a breeze. If you have read the entire textbook and understood what you were reading, all you needed was background reading to see how the material in the textbook can be applied in real life. Teachers are there primarily to assist those pupils who have trouble getting the point in each chapter of the textbook. Once you know what you are reading everything becomes easy.”

Jessica regarded Reg with something approaching awe.

“I wish I had known this when I was at school. I can now see what should have been staring me in the face. The teachers made the subjects seem daunting to learn, but then if they made it seem easy, then where is their justification for their salary level?”

“Exactly. Education is a whole-life exploration. I still learn something new practically every day. Previously it was facts, but in recent months it has been about how people interact in society. Frances, Freda and Erika opened my eyes to the joys of people watching. I have learned so much about these strange beings called people. I slowly appreciated that I, too, was one of these strange humans and that how I behaved towards other people determined how they reacted to me. Ever since then, my improved social behaviour has brought me nothing but good. I find it astonishing how many people are unaware of how their own actions determine the response from other people in society.”

“You have always been good with other people since I have met you, Reg.”

“That has had to be learned by me, Jessica. The results of experience can vary a lot. Children who do badly in school end up doing badly in life as a general rule, unless they get their eyes opened to reality. Even those who seem to have done well can flop terribly when offered a deal that cannot possibly be true. That is the basis for the success of most betting shops and lotteries. The punters allow their innate greed to persuade them that an offer to make them rich is feasible, where a moment’s real thought should tell them that if one person wins in a gamble, it means that 99 per cent of the rest will lose, and therefore they will most likely be part of that 99 per cent of losers.”

Jessica laughed at this picture.

“You have learned a lot, Reg. Can you help me to learn as well?”

“Everyone can learn, Jessica. The main requirement is WANTING to learn. With that, you can learn a great deal; just expose yourself to the material, and you will start to pick it up. The speed at which you do so is dependent on your own ability.”

“What do you suggest I do, then?”

“Why not read the same books that Sidra is working on? As soon as she finishes a book, take it and read it for yourself. See how you get on with it.”

Come Saturday, Jessica found the minibus easier to drive than she expected, so assured Reg that she could manage. The next morning was a rush, with everyone getting ready for the church service. The consensus was to return to the same church, due to the familiarity. They hoped not to have to repeat all their names.

They were welcomed by the same lady as before. It seemed that this was her task, to greet the arrivals and hand them the hymn books and order of service. She recognised the group and said “Hello again. Nice to see you back here.”

They settled into the same seating as before. This Sunday it was a male priest taking the service. He was a little older than the lady priest that had taken the service before. His sermon was a little more erudite, and Reg found it difficult to follow the convoluted reasoning. He preferred sermons that got to the point and hammered it in.

At the end of the service, they all trooped to the back of the church for the coffee and cake, and chat with other members of the congregation. One of the ladies collared Frances, having noticed that Frances seemed to be in charge. “Excuse me, dear. Were your family thinking of joining our congregation now that you have had a chance to look us over?”

Frances looked her over before replying, “I recall the comment made by Groucho Marx when invited to join a country club: ‘I wouldn’t want to join a club that would have me as a member!’”

The woman looked puzzled. “I don’t understand.”

“Simple. Reg has, in practice, five wives, though none are legally married to him. Would you want us as members of your congregation?”

Shocked, the woman didn’t know what to say. Frances told her, “We all love him and are happy with him as our husband. In every case, it was our own choice. We have broken no laws of the land, only cultural taboos. What do you think, then?”

The lady stood with her mouth open, flabbergasted at this statement. Frances took the opportunity to add, “Have you objections to love, my dear?”

She replied, tentatively, “No, I don’t object to love, but...”

“There is no but, my dear. I have a lovely man for my husband, and the other girls will tell you the same. If it makes you feel better, view us as one man and five girlfriends who all live together, though you may recall that some of the leading Old Testament figures had more than one wife. God didn’t seem to object to them, did he?”

The woman tried to change the subject. “So who are the other ... females?”

“The twins are my cousins, and our employees. The other two are a mother and daughter who are staying with us for a while; such nice women, I find; good Christian ladies. Have you had your coffee yet, my dear?”

This was a good excuse for the woman to leave Frances and head to the hot water urn. Frances smiled to herself: the story would soon get around, and either they would be accepted or be shunned. It was a test of how Christian the congregation’s outlook was.

The priest found an excuse to approach Reg and introduce himself. “I do believe you met my wife last week. You must be the Robertson clan. She was quite taken by you, and mentioned your friends who are staying with you. Your friends are perfectly safe, I assure you, young man.”

“I am pleased to hear that, sir. Your wife appears to be a very Christian lady.”

“It tends to go with the job, Mr Robertson. Even if she wasn’t an ordained priest herself, the wives of priests usually find themselves involved with their husband’s parochial duties. It can be a dubious honour for a wife to be so involved with her husband’s work. My lady said you were quite reticent about your marital position. Was there a particular reason for that? Do have one of these cakes, Mr Robertson, or the lady who bakes them will be upset, for she is an excellent baker, I am told.”

Reg checked that there was no-one listening to them.

“Sir, I am not legally married, but five of the ladies with me are my wives by their own volition. You will understand then why there is no legal marriage involved. I love them all dearly, every one. We are all university students endeavouring to get good degrees.”

The Priest looked pensive. “A difficult position to be in. What brought you to this situation, may I ask?”

“It was a surprise to me, sir, the way it came about. The girls attached themselves to me when they saw I was a clever loner with almost no social abilities. I agreed to tutor them in their subjects and in return they taught me how to interact with people in general. They have been successful in their efforts, and we are all doing well in our studies.”

“Well, Mr Robertson, I cannot see any value in interfering with your family arrangements if everyone is happy with the situation. May I confirm this with your ladies?”

Reg immediately got Prudence to come over to him. “Prudence, first, please tell the Reverend what you think of our Commitment, while I ask the others to come and do the same.”

He left Prudence to tell the priest whatever she wanted, and sought out the other wives. He asked them to go to the priest one at a time and answer his questions truthfully. He waited while this happened, one by one, then the priest gestured for Reg to return.

He came back and looked enquiringly at the older man, who nodded. “The responses are consistent, Mr Robertson. They all seem happy to be with you. What is this Commitment that several mentioned to me?”

“It is our substitute for a wedding, sir. We made public declarations to each other to spend our lives together as a loving family. This is a commitment to each other that we feel is as binding as any marriage ceremony. We would be happy to have a formal wedding if it was legally possible, but as the law of the land prohibits that, our Commitment ceremony is the next best thing.”

“I understand. Being at university, you have clearly thought about this beforehand, and didn’t rush into it as a prank.”

“Certainly not, sir. We intend this to be for life, just like a normal marriage is supposed to be.”

“Ah, yes. ‘Supposed’ is unfortunately rather accurate in modern times. What makes you think your version will be different?”

“When the girls told me that they intended to be with me for life, we got together to discuss what our Commitment ceremony would say, and what the participants realised they were committing themselves to. Our conclusions were that anyone wanting to be part of our commitment had to realise that it was intended for life, and that as theirs was no legal marriage, there was no provision for divorce. To deter anyone from defaulting on their promises, it is made clear that any children born during the marriage belong permanently to the family. In the unlikely event of anyone deciding to leave, they would not be able to take their children with them. What we envisage is a process of mediation to encourage the unhappy person back into our family’s loving arms.”

“Best of luck with that plan, Mr Robertson. You’ll need it! I hope you will give me an update from time to time, for I would like to hear the outcome of your Commitment. It smacks of youthful idealism, but I will be happy to be proved wrong.”

A few minutes later, the clan were aboard the minibus ready to head home. As Jessica got into the driver’s seat, she asked, “Straight home, or does anyone want a detour to anywhere?”

This caused a serious discussion about what shops might be open on a Sunday, and the consensus was that there was no shop likely to be open that they would want to visit.

Jessica then checked her street plan to remind her of the route back to the house, as she was still new to the area. She also stuck rigidly to the speed limit for the same reason.

Coming round one bend, she noticed a tubby teenager standing at the side of road, and prepared to slow down if the youngster had not noticed the minibus.

Shockingly, the girl glanced towards the vehicle, then deliberately stepped out into its path. Jessica gasped and slammed on the brakes, while slewing the minibus towards the other side of the road to avoid the pedestrian, hoping that no traffic was coming towards her.

Her vehicle tyres squealed at the pressure being put on them, and the minibus swung round instead of ploughing ahead. There were squeals inside as well, as the passengers feared for their lives. The minibus started to topple towards the girl, then stopped and fell back on its tyres again.

The apparently suicidal girl was standing still in her own shock, unable to move, only a few inches from the side of the minibus.

As Jessica finally took her foot off the brake pedal, where she had been forcing it down as hard as it would go, she herself was overwhelmed by the shock of the near impact, and fainted; falling over the wheel.

Her daughter Sidra, who had been in a front seat, after a quick glance at her mother to see she was not injured, pulled the door open and rushed to what she assumed would be a casualty.

Instead, there was this tubby teenager standing rigidly beside the side panels of the vehicle. The girl had her eyes shut tightly, clearly expecting to be hit and probably killed. Seeing this, Sidra hurried to her side, and took the girl into her arms. The girl slowly opened her eyes, and saw the side of the vehicle in front of her, then fainted, collapsing as she did so.

Sidra was hard put to hold her, due to the excessive weight of the teen. Sidra’s mind told her it was mass, not weight, that was the determining factor, and she gasped with effort while trying not to laugh at her own mental reaction. Her subconscious was treating it as a physics question, whilst her mind was engaged in rescuing a potential suicide.

A moment later, she was assisted by Prudence, who had been the next closest in the minibus. Between them, they supported the fainted girl, waiting for her to come round again. As they stood there, Frances arrived and took charge. The twins were right behind her, ready to help.

“Get her into the bus, girls, and lay her on one of the seats until we can work out what is going on,” Frances ordered.

Quickly, all four girls lifted the tubby girl, two at the top of her body, and two lifting her by the legs. Shuffling round to the door, they passed their comatose charge up to welcoming hands and between them got her laid on a seat before the girl had even started to come round.

Reg meanwhile was at the front, examining Jessica. He gently pulled her back from being draped over the steering wheel, then patted her down, looking for any injury. His manual examination of her breasts brought her round with another gasp.

“What are you doing?” she demanded, then saw it was Reginald. “Oh, it is you, Reg. I am all right, my love: just shock at the impending accident. What happened to the girl?”

“Don’t know yet. The others are dealing with that. I was concerned for you, in case you had been injured.”

“No, I am fine, just suffering from delayed shock. I thought I was going to kill someone. Did I?”

Reg noticed the girl being manhandled aboard the minibus.

“I think she is unhurt, or the girls would not be pushing her around as they are. I reckon your quick reactions saved her life.” He paused and added, wonderingly, “You called me ‘my love’!”

“Did I? I suppose I did. Well, I meant it, Reg. I refuse to take it back.”

“You love me?”

“Surprisingly, yes. You are very easy to fall in love with, Reg my boy. I hadn’t realised it myself, until now, when it came out without me thinking about it. I have been trying to keep our relationship businesslike, as you have plenty of lovers already.”

Reg found his shoulder being tapped in a peremptory way, and turned to face Frances.

“Reg, desist from your amorous ways for a second or two and come see the victim. She is terrified.”

“Terrified? Why?”

“That’s just it. She is incoherent, and not listening to us, so perhaps a man as an authority figure might get her attention.”

Reg reluctantly abandoned Jessica and came to see the teenager. She was sobbing to herself, and all Reg could make out was ‘couldn’t even do that right!’. He frowned, then adopted a manly stance and stern voice.

“Young lady! That is enough of that. It is time you explained yourself, for you almost caused a serious accident to my family!”

“Oh, sorry, sir. I am a complete failure at everything, that is the truth of it.”

“Rubbish! You don’t know the half of it, young woman. Nobody is a complete failure, just a human being with all the faults that human beings have. You are no different.”

The girl looked up at him in fright. “But everyone tells me I am useless; too fat, too lazy, too uninvolved in things, too stupid for words.”

“You think so? Why are you fat, then? Did it happen by accident, or did you pig out? Or did you not think of doing exercise to use up some of that fat? Are you lazy because you want to be, or because people expect you to be? Being uninvolved is a personal decision: I know, because I grew up that way; but I changed. You can also change. Every one of us can change for the better if we try, and I am sure you can do that too. What is your name?”

“Fat Betty, sir.”

“Rubbish! ‘Fat’ is not a name. What name is on your birth certificate, girl?”

“Oh. Elizabeth Slattery, sir, but I am always known as Betty. The other girls at school call me Fat Betty.”

“Right. Well, that is the last of that. You can choose to be called Betty if you want, but around here, you are Elizabeth, for that is a much nicer name. You will answer only to Elizabeth from now on! Now, Elizabeth, what idiocy caused you to walk in front of our vehicle? Do you know that you could have hurt me or my wives by that escapade? Do you want to hurt innocent people in that way?”

“I am sorry about that, sir. I didn’t think of that.”

“I see. So, first of all, in future, you will THINK before doing anything, and you will not do anything stupid or demeaning or careless or hurtful to you or anyone else. Is that clear?”

“Yes, sir. I am sorry sir. I will try to do better, sir.”

“NO. You will NOT try to do better, Elizabeth. Instead, you WILL do better. I can’t abide this idea of merely trying. You must achieve things to improve yourself. Now, promise me you will do better in everything you do.”

“I promise, sir.”

“Right. Next, some facts. What is your age, Elizabeth?”

“Sixteen, sir.”

“Parents?”

“Both dead, sir. I live with my grandmother.”

“Tell me, Elizabeth, what does your grandmother do for you; actually DO for you?”

“Um, very little, sir. She gets me to do things around the house; cooking and cleaning. She says I am not good for anything else.”

“What do you get from her in the way of money, clothes, etcetera? I want answers that you have thought about, Elizabeth, not what you may have been told.”

Elizabeth thought, then reported, “Not a lot, sir. She buys me clothes in the charity shops, and the only money she gives me is my lunch money for school. She doesn’t like me using cosmetics either.”

“You don’t benefit from living with her, do you?”

“I suppose not, sir.”

“What about school? How do you get along at school?”

She tensed before applying her mind to a truthful answer. “I am not happy there, sir. The other girls poke fun at me, and keep putting me down.”

“That is nasty, isn’t it? Really nasty?”

“Yes, sir, it is.” she sounded defensive, almost in tears again.

Reg changed tack, to become less confrontational. “Sidra, come here please. Now, Elizabeth, listen to this girl. Sidra, what happened to you at your former home?”

“I was beaten severely by my father.”

Elizabeth jerked in surprise and shock at hearing this. Reg went on, “And what was your reaction to this treatment, Sidra?”

“I got myself ready, then I ran away from home.”

“You didn’t say to yourself, I can’t cope, so I will kill myself?”

“No, of course not. That is negative thinking, the sort that I got at school. I had enough of that.”

“So what are you doing now?”

“I am living in your house with my mother, and I am being home-schooled. It is great!”

Reg raised a hand to conclude Sidra’s tale.

“There, Elizabeth. You can see that changing your thinking can change your life. Would you like to do what Sidra has done?”

Reg realised that all his wives were staring at him, starting to recognise what was about to happen. Frances allowed a small smile to creep onto her face.

Elizabeth looked around at all the women, and then back to Sidra. None of them seemed angry with her having tried to commit suicide, and that amazed her. She decided she wanted to know more about this family.

“If it is possible, sir, I would like what Sidra has. She seems happy with life now.” She levered herself up from her lying-down position. “May I get up, please?”

Reg offered a hand, and she took it, pulling herself up to a sitting position. At that point she became aware again of her pudginess, and tried to hide her body. Prudence, still at her side, grabbed both her arms and pulled them away from Elizabeth’s body.

She told the girl, “Elizabeth, you have to start by accepting how you are at present, and stop hiding the fact you are overweight. I was the opposite: tall and skinny, when Reg came into my life. He persuaded me that I would look and feel much better if I added a few pounds, and now look at me. Reg admires my body now; finds me attractive. You need to do the same in reverse: shed some pounds and observe the difference. You need to be away from all previous influences to manage that. I think Reg is about to invite you to come stay with us for a while. Is that so, Reg?”

“Well spotted, Prudence. Elizabeth is a prime example of bad influences on her outlook on life. Would you like to change your life, Elizabeth? Say yes, and you can come with us now. We can inform your grandmother later, if she is interested.”

Elizabeth looked at Prudence and at Sidra, and made up her mind. “Yes, I will come with you. I was about to end my life here, but if I can alter it for the better somewhere else instead, I can live with that.”

Frances interrupted, “Reg, we have to get home and have lunch, as two of us have a farm appointment this afternoon. Jessica, are you up to driving again, or shall I take over?”

Jessica told her, “I would love to back out, but the hire rules say that only I am eligible to drive this vehicle, so I’ll get back into the driving seat. Was the traffic able to pass us?”

Reg stood up to look around. Being Sunday, there was not much traffic, and the cars in both directions were able to work round the slewed minibus. No-one had deigned to stop and help, unsurprisingly.

He commented, “Looks as if we have not blocked the road, my sweet.”

Elizabeth began to take more interest in the passengers in this vehicle, and was amazed to find they were all female except for the man who had harangued her. She suddenly became aware that several of them were not at all pretty, so she was not the only one who did not look good. She decided to watch and learn for a while. She thought to ask, “Are we going far?”

Prudence told her, “Not very far. We are just on our way back from church, so it won’t be very long until we are home.”

“Home? All of you?”

“Yes. We live in the one tall building; you’ll like it.”

Elizabeth shut up from then on, and listened to the chatter amongst the passengers. They all seemed happy to be out together, but she wondered why there was only the one man with them. Did the other men not want to go to church; was that it? But why did all the women get on so well with Reg? That was his name, wasn’t it? Her brain churned with questions.

They were home after a few more minutes of driving, and they all piled out of the minibus, with Prudence taking Elizabeth’s hand and dragging her into the house.

The twins rushed ahead and got the cold buffet out on the dining table while heating up some baked beans to go with the meats, sausage rolls, quiche and pork pies. The kettle was quickly on the boil as well. Elizabeth was sure she hadn’t seen so much food on a table, ever.

There was a bit of a hurry-up, as Reginald, Francis and Fiona were due to go visit some farmer or other, so Elizabeth watched them prepare for their visit. Why a farmer, Elizabeth could not fathom, and then became more bemused when it turned out they were actually visiting the farmer’s wife.

They left, and Elizabeth found herself being questioned relentlessly by the other women. She concentrated on learning the names of each of the women. The ones with very nondescript faces turned out all to have the surname Robertson. The older woman with the dark skin colour, Jessica, she first of all assumed was Reginald’s mother, but the conversation implied that this was not so. Sidra was quite definitely the daughter of Jessica, just by her complexion. The teenage twins appeared to be connected to Frances, and Frances came over as the organiser of the household grouping.

It was all so puzzling, Elizabeth found. Then the many questions they had fired at her! These were relentless, but always considerate, never harsh. They seemed to be for collecting information only.

Elizabeth admitted she was an only child, that both parents had died in a car crash, and that her widowed grandmother was looking after her – if you could call it that. Elizabeth was not very forthcoming about home life, but they got the idea that grandmother did not look favourably on this tubby teen.

She readily volunteered that she didn’t do well at school, but told them that this was mostly because she was distracted by the sniping from the other girls about her weight and/or shape. She thought she could do better, but had never had the chance to prove it.

Sidra saw in this girl a kindred spirit, and took her in hand.

“Elizabeth, were you aware that most overweight people use fatty foods as a form of comfort, something to distract them from their problems?”