Chapter 3

“Belinda, welcome to First Church. Come on in. Let’s find seats.”

She nodded. An usher handed each of us programs. We found seats behind a couple and Jim all from the class. Before sitting down, I leaned forward to them and said, “Sarah, Mark, Jim, please meet a new resident in my condo complex, Belinda Harkness. I invited her yesterday after a pool party at the complex.”

Each of the three shook her hand thanking her for coming to our church. The organist started and we all sat back down. I tried unobtrusively to help Belinda with what was happening. After the announcements, we stood for the call to worship and the hymn. She didn’t know the hymn but had a good singing voice. That probably should not have surprised me since she was a very good looking woman with a warm voice unless she was expressing her unhappiness to some poor victim of her wrath. That didn’t make her less good looking with the exception of her facial expression but her voice changed tone to a screech.

We went through the service. I enjoyed the sermon as always. It was about new life and new beginnings. Belinda looked heartened from listening to it.

At the end of the service, Sarah invited each of us and Jim to lunch at one of the local eateries. I nodded. Belinda quickly thanked her and wanted to follow someone to the place. Jim quickly offered to lead her there. I had been smiling and didn’t change my look.

I think Belinda had hoped I would offer to lead her or take her. I would have if no one else offered but wasn’t sad to be off the hook.

I drove over and joined the group for the meal. Jim looked to be impressed with Belinda’s looks. I hoped she wouldn’t let her bad side out. He’s a nice guy and doesn’t deserve to be abused.

The meal and the company were pleasant. We talked around enjoyably. We finished our deserts and everyone slowly stood to head to our cars. I left a nice tip and got in my car headed home. Inside, I changed clothes to be leisurely almost to the point of being slovenly. I had no one coming nor plans to go out later.

I turned on the television and started lazily watching the NASCAR race. My attention was slipping but it was fun to watch the cars go around in circles.

The doorbell rang. I got up to answer it after looking through the spy glass. I saw Belinda standing on the stoop. She was wearing shorts and a pull-over blouse with sandals. She looked very good. I opened the door and said, “Come in, Belinda.”

She walked in and sat down in one of my easy chairs. I resumed my seat on my couch and turned off the television. She said, “Thank you for letting me in, Steve.” I nodded.

“I guess you’re wondering why I’m here.” I nodded again.

She said, “I enjoyed the church service today and lunch after that. I didn’t feel judged and felt that I didn’t have to prove anything to any of my lunch partners except, perhaps, you.”

“You don’t have to prove anything to me, Belinda.”

“I believe you, Steve. Unfortunately, I believe you have already reached an opinion about me which is why you say that. I want to be different from my past and I need help. I don’t want to be like I have been or hang with people who don’t care for others. I liked the church service and your friends. I feel that they, and you, would or could be the type of friends that I want and need in my life.

“Steve, I’m not good at begging or even asking but I really do need your help. You have had the strength and faith to stand up to me when I was terrible and stop me. When I am that way, I don’t just hurt others but I hurt myself, too. I want to change and sometimes don’t know what that change should be nor where it might lead.

“I’ve only been to church three or four times before today in my life. It never affected me before. I like how I felt about myself and about those around me from this morning and at lunch. I just feel that you, though, are waiting for the other shoe to drop. I think you want to be ready to dodge so it won’t hit you when it does. Steve, I will go barefoot.” She grinned. “I want to change and prove to you that I can.”

“Belinda, I understand what you’re saying but you may have to make some big changes to be the sort of person you say you want to be.”

“I know and that’s why I’m asking for your help.”

“I don’t know how much help I can be but I will try. Coming to church this morning was a good step.”

“I think so. I felt that the sermon was talking directly to me. The pastor was saying what I needed to hear and showing me a path that I want to follow.

“Steve, it would have been so easy for you to have tossed me out of your office but you didn’t. I don’t think you have held a grudge over my stupid attempt to have you beaten up. By the way, I’m glad you handled them.”

She took a deep breath. “What do you want me to do?”

I grinned. “Take your shoes off and get comfortable. Let’s talk.”

She kicked her shoes off her feet and kicked them away from me and from her. “Now, you’re safe from the other shoe dropping.”

She gave a slow smile. “Steve, I would never try anything physical with you that you didn’t welcome. I have no doubt that you can defend yourself from me easily.”

She smiled somewhat grimly. “I want to be a better person, to be likable and not despicable. I really think you can help me be the good kind of person that I see in you and in some others.”

I said, “Okay, Belinda, let’s talk about how to change your reactions to events and what to change.”

I took a breath. “It sounds like you might want to become a Christian. If you become a Christian, C. S. Lewis, a great Christian writer, once wrote that you have to be humble. By that he didn’t mean that you go around in sackcloth and ashes but are just a genuine person who has freed themselves to care about others. That includes Morris, Grace, and Jim Givens. Being nasty to folks, even for a reason, is longer something you can do. The reason is not just that you shouldn’t but that it is part of realizing they are valued children of God. That includes caring about people who aren’t even Christians. That is one thing you will find will happen to you, too. One of the claims of Christianity is that Christians truly become children of God.

“Knowing your personality well enough to know what you don’t like about it is a good start. Being a Christian doesn’t foreclose options so much as it opens them in different ways.”

“I don’t understand what you mean by that, Steve.”

“Okay. Let me use an example that you might recognize. I don’t party. I drink but only in moderation. I like wine, beer, and even hard liquor. However, I want to enjoy it. I drink a glass of wine at some meals. I like beer with pizza and dark beer with cheese and crackers. I drink Scotch but as a sipping drink. Because I don’t drink heavily, big time partying with its excesses doesn’t fit me or I don’t fit it. Instead, I like to talk with friends. I’ve spent hours next door with John and Grace talking. Morris is a Scotch drinker like me. We’ve spent afternoons listening to music and sipping our drinks while we talked. All of that has been and is enjoyable for me. I don’t bear any ill effects from those times and have come to know people well from those times.”