Hairy Roadtrip
Chapter 6

Copyright© 2017 by Old Man with a Pen

Wanna talk about a wake up call? This was NOT your standard buzz or ring ring. It soon the nurse said the words. Wendy peeked around the door.

God ... she’s cute. Beautiful even.

<Yeah.> Sigh.

“I want to know what you had to do with this,” I said ... and it wasn’t a question.

“Who? Me?” Wendy said.

“Who, you what? I wasn’t talking to you ... I was talking to You Know Who.”

“I do? ... I do,” she said.

<Who? Me?>

“Butt out Wendy ... I’m talking to them,” I said.

It was an inopportune moment ... the doctor, accompanied by the ward head nurse, stepped into the room.

“Who? Me?” asked the doctor and the nurse ... twins, even. Disgusting.

“Not you doc,” I sighed. Every time you guys come around ... well ... except twice ... three times ... I get in trouble.

“It’s the ringing in my ears, Doc. I keep trying to answer it.” That didn’t help one single bit.

Instantly, he said, “Mr. Austin, we’d like to keep you for a few days ... observation.” He turned to Wendy, “Mrs. Austin, would you agree to ... oh ... say ... three days?”

Wendy swiftly nodded ... any harder and her head would break off.

Shit!

“She’s not my wife!”

“How about five days?” said the doc.

Wendy grinned.

“Five days it is,” agreed the doc.

“How about no days?” I said, as I tried to slide out of bed.

Serious mistake. My foot hit the floor and I followed it.

When the black turned to grey I heard the doc say, “Nice and tight, boys. He’s recalcitrant. His wife agreed and signed the paperwork.”

Thick webbing surrounded my wrists and I could tell by pulling that they were attached to something extremely solid ... like the bed rails. When I tried to sit up the double thick chest strap prevented movement. I did the best I could ... to no avail. So ... I shit the bed. I would have pissed but the catheter removed that option. All that stink got me was Depends. Even though I asked for and used the bedpan I got adult diapers for the night shift.

Wendy visited every day.

“Your wife, Mr. Austin.”

Wendy would sashay in, kiss me on the forehead and talk about inconsequentials from the chair placed by my bed. She kissed my forehead because I bit her tongue the first time she tried it. For the first day I refused to acknowledge her ... but all that got me was an extra day. I learned. I became very cooperative. We began to discuss the “Condition of Dear Old Dad,”

Her father had been removed from Intensive Care to the general population and was recovering nicely.

The children missed me and couldn’t wait for me to get better and come home.

The cat had been wounded by a golfball and had to be put down.

Bobby was glad, he hated the cat and Missy was heartbroken.

I’ll say this for Wendy ... she was full of it ... and very funny.

Laughing at the dead cat got me another day.

Attempting to bribe a sympathetic Candy Striper into calling my flight instructor was another day.

Wendy read to me, bathed me ... blew me ... and hand jobbed me ... and TOLD the staff she did her wifely duties every time she got me off.

Tied down and objecting to what was little better than rape, I might not appreciate her actions ... but I had the utmost respect for her intelligence.

And the outfits ... Oh.My.God. Under that housewifery grey wool coat she wore French Maid, Cheerleader, Catholic School Girl, Indian Princess and Naughty Nursie. The neighborhood Adult store, Doc’s Adult, on Federal must have sold her the store.

She danced ... she pranced ... she wooed and wowed me. Ever revealing that centerfold of the year body I began to cooperate.

<Good boy! It’s the only way out.>

The day I called her Dear ... was the day I made the biggest mistake in my life.

Colorado Common Law recognized partners who accept that they are married ... are married.

 
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