Chapter 29: Family

I spent the better part of Friday working on my proposal for Dean Collins. For the longest time, I was rather lost in what to do. It had been so long since I’d undertaken anything academically-oriented that I felt like a bumbling freshman overwhelmed by the level of tasks before me. I searched online for examples of formatting and sought guidance from a couple of forums, but mostly, I just began to wing my proposal by typing it out.

I decided to take a very social angle to what I wanted to do. The role of women in society had changed dramatically over the past hundred years or so, with greater acceptance of women in traditionally-male roles such as political leaders, technicians, scientists, and attorneys. Sports lagged far behind all those areas, not that in any of them would one find women being embraced as true equals. Women still had to fight harder for acknowledgement and advancement, they had to avoid the smallest mistakes, ones which might not cause their male counterparts to more than hesitate along a career path.

Sports offered a different sort of challenge. There were laws of physics sorts of barriers. Strength and speed being chief among them. Women often had quicker reflexes and better vision, both of which were fundamentally important in most sports, but the relative gaps in strength and speed were often too great to find women athletes capable of performing against men. When I looked at things like 100-meter dash times, hammer throws, cross-country skiing pace, and all sorts of other metrics, women were consistently underperforming their male counterparts at the highest levels.

I began to be concerned that perhaps the laws of physics barriers were not likely to be overcome. There were certainly strong and quick women, often outcompeting many male athletes, but professional sports was dominated by the best of the best, the elite, the most capable, skilled, and physically-superior performers. Beating ninety-nine-plus percent of all men wasn’t good enough to play in Major League Baseball. Everyone at that level was doing even better. For Audrey, or any woman, to rise to that level of play would take an extraordinary set of skills and physical capabilities, and I wasn’t certain when the right person, Audrey or someone else, might come along and luck their way through all the other obstacles, such as injuries, illnesses, and, of course, opportunities to play.

But society had improved in the way women were treated even if, at times, it seemed the opposite. The rise of online social media fueled the anonymous trolls who sought to score sexist points for shouting down and demeaning women who simply held public opinions, women who tried to point out the inherent problems in a patriarchal society. It felt, often, that the men’s rights warriors were even winning the fight.

That wasn’t so, as I knew, but that didn’t mean the country, or the world, had progressed as far as providing women equal opportunities. At least for sports, there were metrics available which could show how silly it was to deny a capable performer a shot at a career. In baseball, if you could demonstrate an eye for the strike zone and a knack for hitting a breaking ball, if you could charge down a long fly or wheel around to make a split-second throw, there was a chance you’d catch someone’s eye.

Audrey was obviously a long way from that point, but I knew it was just a matter of time before she joined the UoH baseball team. There’d be scouts at her games. They’d see her play. At least a few of them would mark down what they thought about her. She’d have to do better than her male teammates to impress any of them enough to do more than be an interesting note in the scouts’ reports, but at least there were opportunities ahead of her to do so.

And so, I wrote my proposal, the first draft, at least, aiming to compare and contrast opportunities for women in sports as they compared with other professions. Female attorneys didn’t get to compare batting averages and pitch speeds. Sure, there were test metrics and such base comparators available, but there was no way to have a female lawyer perform a three-trial set to see if she could win a variety of cases. The law firm had to measure her solely on test scores and interviews. Baseball, and other sports, offered a more robust way to judge relative performances, and allowed those analyzing the opportunities gained a way to more objectively identify bias and sexism at play. That, I decided, was how I would address the Dean’s request.

I sat the draft aside and left it in the afternoon. I had a week to tune it up, and I expected I’d do a great deal more research to add support for my arguments. I still needed to give it a clearer focus and to hone down the dozen aspects I’d included in the first pass, but I felt it best to let it simmer for another day or two before returning to give it such a go.

I felt pretty good to have knocked it out rather quickly, though, and I went out to the front porch to enjoy half a glass of scotch. I eyed my cigarette pack, nearly grabbing one for a treat, but opted not to partake. Audrey’s game wasn’t until six-thirty. Gwen had a date that night, and Vic would have only a short one-hour practice after school. Checking my watch, I had just enough time to finish my drink and sober up fully before heading out to pick up my youngest daughter.

Gwen came home before I left. I greeted her and she hurried down to her room to get ready for her date. I found it more than a little suspicious that Pete was springing for such a well-known high-end restaurant as Bagano’s. It wasn’t the sort of place high schoolers went for evenings out. I knew Pete’s family was reasonably well off, but even so, the upscale Italian spot seemed a rather ridiculous place for a second first date between two high schoolers. Maybe he was really trying to impress my daughter. Maybe he was trying to buy his way back into her panties. Almost certainly so, I thought.

I went back in the house. “Hey Gwen,” I called as my daughter left her room and headed towards the bathroom, “just wanted to say one thing about your date tonight...”

“O-kay...”

“Guys will go a long ways towards trying to make everything seem great by spending a lot of money on you. Don’t mistake that for real affection, okay?”

Gwen eyed me and wrinkled her nose, “So, what, I’m supposed to think less of Pete for taking me somewhere nice?”

“No, but be suspicious. There’s nothing wrong with a nice date somewhere, but Bagano’s? That’s high-end, Gwen. Like ... it’s gonna run him a hundred bucks without any alcohol. That’s an awful lot of money for just talking...”

“Jesus, Dad. Saying I’m not worth it?”

“Just the opposite, actually. What I’m saying is that I find it odd that your first date after breaking up for a while is some place like that. It’s ... it’s saying that maybe you won’t notice that other things aren’t so great if he spends a bundle on a meal.”

Gwen frowned.

“Look, all I’m saying is look beyond just what this night costs, okay? Make sure he’s attentive and kind and that you aren’t just seeing the illusion he’s trying to create. I hope it goes wonderfully and that you have a great night. Just ... Just be cautious of his motives...”

“But what if his motive is just to date me, Dad? What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing. So long as you’re happy, that’s what matters. Pull back the curtain a bit, though. Pay attention to what he’s saying, how he’s treating you, and, more importantly, how he treats other people. That last one ... that will tell you everything about Pete. If he’s not the jerk who made fun of your sister, he’ll show that in how he treats the waitstaff, people who accidentally bump into him, people who are different or stick out.”

Gwen let out an exasperated breath. “Anything else, Dad?”

“That’s all.”

“I need to shower and get ready.”

“I’m going to get your sister then heading to Audrey’s game. Enjoy your night.”

Gwen hesitated, lips twitching.

“Something to ask me?” I said.

“You know, uh,” my daughter stammered, “like ... could we come back here ... afterwards? You know ... if I want to...”

I bit my lip a moment, then replied, “You always have my permission, Gwen. I’d rather you be here than taking chances in a car or somewhere you might get in trouble. That will only change if I decide I don’t want Pete ... or anyone else ... in my house. Understand?”

Gwen nodded.

“Still have condoms?” I probed.

“Yeah...”

“Then enjoy your evening...”

“Thanks...”

Vic was in a sour mood when she climbed into the car. Even through the residual sweat from her practice I could see she’d been crying. I said gently, “Hey, Sweetheart ... you okay?”

She shook her head but didn’t otherwise reply.

“Is it Simone?”

“Her parents are dicks!” Vic growled. “They’re going to pull her from the team. Today was her last practice...”

“Damn ... that sucks.”

“It sucks bad! I hate them so much!”

Frustrated for my daughter, I put my arm around her and she leaned into me. I kissed the top of Vic’s head, her hair salty and sticky, “Sorry, Vic ... Wish I could do something...”

“You could kill them for me...”

“Not sure that would make her life better...”

“A girl can dream, though...”

“How’s Simone taking it?”

“She’s really sad. I hugged her earlier and she just cried and cried, Dad ... I hate her parents so much!”

“Do you think they suspect she’s gay?”

Vic shrugged against me, “Dunno. I told her to just tell them and get it over with...”

“If only it was that simple...”

“Why not?” Vic said, leaning up. “Why not just get it out like I did with you?”

“Well,” I replied, “who knows what her parents might do. How they might react. What if they kicked her out?”

“Isn’t that illegal, Dad?”

I shrugged, “Maybe. But they could certainly make her life even worse. She’s probably scared to death of them finding out. I bet they’d pull her out of your school and send her to a fundamentalist Christian school instead. Would that make her better off? Not even being able to see you in class?”

Vic started crying, “No ... no, that would horrible...”

“Are they violent, Vic? Do you know if they ever hit her?”

Vic nodded, “They’ve smacked her a lot, and her dad spanks her hard. I hate him so much. Both of them.”

I felt concerned as any decent person would. There was a very fine line between discipline and abuse. I’d never been a spanker. I knew the well-founded studies which established how harmful physical discipline was for children. Spanking and slapping and such treatment only made the child more likely to have serious problems, both in adolescence and later in adulthood. I’d found better ways to deal with Gwendolyn and Victoria when they’d done wrong, and I cringed to think that Simone’s parents dealt with her in such violent, heavy-handed ways.

“If you ever see a mark on her ... or have some proof that they are abusing her ... you’ll let me know, okay? I can’t do much as it is, but if they harm her ... that’s clearly illegal, parents or no.”

“I will tell you...”

I drove us home in silence, Vic sobbing and curled into a ball against the door. I ached for her, but other than offering my shoulder and a gentle hug, there was little I could do to ease things.

Once we were at my home, I checked my watch and told her, “Listen ... I’m going to watch Audrey play tonight, why don’t you come with me...”

Vic shrugged, which I took for acceptance.

“Go grab a quick shower. We’ll go when you’re done.”

The ride over to Audrey’s high school was mostly me trying to distract Vic by talking about my proposal for Dean Collins. She showed little interest, but that wasn’t the point of my monologue. I just hoped to keep her from completely dwelling on Simone and her heartbreak.

The concession stand was open as the bleachers filled up and I sent Vic to find us seats while I waited in line. Herman was just leaving the counter, hot dog and soda in hand. “Hey there, Frankie,” he said, falling back on the name he sometimes used for me, “good to see you coming to root on my Audrey.”

“Nice to see you, Herman. Joyce along with you?”

He shook his head, “She’s resting. Listen,” he said, “we’re gonna try a trip up to see some friends of ours in a couple of days. Doc says Joyce is okay to travel and we’d like to see Martha and Vince before ... you know ... things take another turn. Mind looking after Audrey while we’re away? Planning on a week, but might make it two if Joyce does well.” The twinkle in his eye suggested he already knew my answer.

“Of course. Where you off to?”

“San Diego. They’ve got a nice place out there and it’s been a couple of years since we’ve seen them. Will be good for Joyce to get a bit of time with some friends. It’s been a tough few weeks.”

“Well, if there’s anything I can do, you know you just need to say so.”

“Just see that Audrey sticks to her curfew...” His look said that he knew well enough that the curfew would include me staying over with Audrey.

“Will do.”

Herman nodded and left the line just as I got to the front.

I carried drinks and hot dogs around the stands a moment before I spotted Vic up near the top. Handing one of each to my daughter, I said, “Ran into Herman a moment ago.”

“Ah,” she said mechanically.

“He and Joyce are going out of town for a week or two.”

“Ah.”

I sat aside my food and drink and put my arm around my daughter’s shoulder, saying quietly, “I love you, Vic.”

She nodded and managed to hold back her tears, but just barely.

The teams took the field and the visitors were up to bat first. Audrey was starting at shortstop, her favorite position other than perhaps pitcher. Even though she wore the same grey and white uniform as her male teammates, there was no doubt about her femininity. Audrey’s curves were subtle under the jersey and pants, but I could see them. Maybe I was biased. Maybe I knew just what delights were under those clothes and I loved how beautiful my girlfriend’s body looked no matter what she wore.

A couple of batters in, a hard grounder took Audrey off her feet as it bounced high off some imperfection in the ground, the ball sailing past her glove and into left field. Even as the opposing stands erupted in cheers, I heard Audrey’s frustrated shout above the din. She made up for it when the next batter’s sharp liner smacked into her glove and Audrey threw quickly to first to double off the baserunner who had frozen in mid-step.