Perhaps the story above makes it clear, or perhaps not, but in either case it’s important to remember that ... Real love never limits you ... it doesn’t restrict you ... it doesn’t try to change you ... it doesn’t entitle you, or anyone, to anything.
People are sometimes led to have a sense of entitlement because they mistakenly believe they are owed something based solely on the social role they have chosen. For example, if someone has accepted the role of being a person’s friend, girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, or husband, they feel entitled to get certain ‘favors’ from this person. If someone has accepted the role of being a parent, they feel entitled to being respected by their children. If someone has accepted the role of being a customer, they feel entitled to be served to their unique needs.
But, as it turns out, there are no hard-wired entitlements in life. And this is especially true of love.
Too often we associate love with limitations...
“If he loves me, he will change.”
“If she loves me, she will do what I say.” etc.
But that’s not real love. Not even close.
Real love is un-limited.
Real love is freedom.
In fact, it is only by letting each other be free, that two people can be completely each other’s. When we are not forced, or tied, or pressured in a relationship, we can more easily see and remember the most perfect parts ... You might spend time with the person you love and catch yourself thinking, “He (or she) is perfect for me!”
Not perfect in their behaviors, or in their beliefs, or in their looks. Rather, perfect in the way they fit into your life, the way their rough edges fill the gaps between your own, the way their body rests against yours, the way both your voices flow together in harmony, the way you make each other feel complete, even when you are apart.
And this completeness ripples through every aspect of your lives. You both feel alive and full of incredible joy. And you are eager and excited and can’t wait to find a hundred little things that will make you feel even more alive, now that you have felt how deeply you can breathe the fresh air of freedom. You can clearly see that there are no definitive limits, and you laugh together about the fact that you both once thought there were, and then you laugh again simply because you are free to BE ... together, or apart.
In this freedom, you choose to find divine perfection in each other’s humanness.
In this freedom, your happiness is vital to each other, and sacrifices are made.
And, that may not always mean you are part of the equation.
And that’s perfectly OK.
For you, that is why it feels so incredible to love, and to be loved.
Because the love you feel is a choice.
Because real love gives you that choice.
You both know deep down that to bind each other or tie each other or try to own each other in any way would be to minimize – to even kill – something within yourselves that is divine, and human, and soars and sings and keeps you both alive and free ... and asks for nothing, yet gives everything.
You both know that the moment you try to own each other is the moment you both become something else, other than what was sought, and desired, and loved in the first place.
So you choose to set each other free – completely unattached – even when you’re deeply connected.
This form of non-attachment does not mean not caring. On the contrary, it means, among other things, caring so deeply that you both honor each other’s space and freedom ... to simply BE.