Chapter 58: Amber Michelle Penfield

July 17, 1989, Chicago, Illinois

"Steve," Dave said, coming into my office, "I need you to sign this capital expenditure form, please."

"For?"

"An IBM PS/2 running OS/2 server so that we can run Microsoft SQL. Greg's at a point where we need more than just a test PC to work on the database conversion."

"OK. We discussed that, so yes, of course I'll sign it."

I took the form and scribbled my name on the bottom, and initialed the amount and handed it back to Dave.

"Thanks," he said. "Don't forget our conference call at 4:00pm with Ford, Jackson, and Finch."

"It's on my calendar. I also reviewed everything Barbara, Cynthia, and Andy sent via cc:Mail. Honestly, the beta is going better than we hoped."

"Yes, it is. Cindi and her team worked out the pricing schedule for upgrading to the Windows version, and put together a training class. I think Cindi is talking to Elyse right now to get agreement on the pricing."

"Cool," I said. "I'm a bit worried about us being behind schedule on the DOS version."

"Now that Tasha's working full time over the Summer, I have her picking up some slack. I wish you had more time, but I guess it's another eight weeks before you don't have to leave for a couple of hours, three days a week."

"You could have sent Charlie to Milwaukee," I said.

"You'll finish in a day what would take her two days, and they're a paying customer. And Russian. Even though I lose a day of you on the DOS version of the legal software, it's worth it overall. I'm getting pretty good at juggling. We'll need another programmer, but because I would put them on version 4.0, we can wait until Greg finishes his research and prototyping."

"He's working with Julia on the overall project plan?"

"Yes. Cindi is as well, because 4.0 is going to be such a huge change, and we'll need to support two database models for at least one version."

"At least?"

"Greg is convinced that Microsoft SQL is the future. Oracle is really moving quickly, but they're just too expensive for us to even think about using their software. Honestly, if we could triple our prices, then Oracle 6 might be the best option. But we'd go out of business if we tried that."

"Cindi already bitches about the licensing cost interfering with sales to smaller firms."

"She actually has an idea for what to do about that," Dave said. "A stripped-down version that we could sell to small law firms like Gwen Meyer's. The same thing for the medical software — a stripped-down version for sole-practitioners. Both would cost significantly less, but would be missing some advanced features."

"Interesting. Why am I just hearing about this?"

"She only brought it up on Friday. The proposals aren't formalized yet. It would give us something that BLS doesn't have. The same is true for the medical software firm up in Madison."

"I'm intrigued," I replied. "Let me know when it's ready to be discussed."

"I will. I do have a hiring form for you. We need another consultant. We'd put him or her in Los Angeles. There's enough work there, plus work that can be done in the office, to pay for it. Cynthia has really been working hard to drum up business."

"If the business is there, then I don't see why not. I assume you've discussed this with Elyse."

"Kimmy took care of that. Are you going to want to go out to California to do an interview?"

"Yes. I'll set up meetings with Ford, Jackson, and Finch, and a few other big customers. I'll probably swing by San Francisco to do that. But I need some time to work out a way for Jolene or Therese to cover my classes at the dojo while I'm gone."

"What if we work out the timing with our release of the Windows version? That's set for September 1st."

"Hmm. The following Monday is Labor Day. I'm willing to fly that day, and Sensei Jim is coming back to the dojo on the 6th, which would mean I wouldn't need coverage. Can we wait that long for the consultant?"

"Yes. We're doing the work here and sending it to Andy to install. As I said, I'm juggling. But it's only six weeks, and by the time Cynthia runs ads, and does the first round of interviews, it would be three weeks, minimum. We can make that work."

"Cool," I said. "Now, can I go back to work? I have to spend all day in Milwaukee tomorrow."

"Billable hours, Steve. Those are always good!"

"True," I agreed, and got back to work.

I had arranged with Jessica and Kara that I would work until 6:15pm to get some extra time in, and when I returned from karate, I set my alarm. When the alarm went off, I walked home and arrived just as everyone was sitting down to dinner. We ate, and then Jessica, Kara, and I went to the Indian room for some quiet time together. Birgit was with Matthew, but Albert was with us, sleeping on my chest.

"Chris didn't ask for anything?" Jessica asked.

"No. Usually she at least hints or teases, this time it was all business. She knows about Albert because Dave told her you were in labor when she called that day to ask for some of my time."

"She may have just been being polite," Jessica said. "Or circumspect. Even for someone as forward as she seems to be, it's a bit much to flirt with a guy whose wife just had a baby! Especially when you can't see body language or facial expression."

"True," I said. "But as far as I can tell, there's enough work for me to work straight through from 8:30am to about 7:00pm. That allows some time to talk to Mr. Bykov as well. I'll have to eat while I work, too."

"That kind of precludes anything, doesn't it?" Kara asked.

"I can't spend the night, because I need to meet Jacqui at 5:15am on Wednesday. And given that it's a one-and-a-half to two-hour drive, that doesn't leave much time."

"Then it seems like there's nothing to discuss at this point," Jessica said.

"I agree. Before I forget, Dave needs me to go to California to do an interview, and I'll take a few days to visit customers out there."

"What about karate?"

"We're scheduling it for the week of Labor Day, which is when Sensei Jim is coming back. The dojo is closed Labor Day, so I'll fly out then. Jolene and Therese can handle the Tuesday classes and Sensei will be back in the dojo on Wednesday. He's actually home on Saturday, so I'll have a chance to talk to him, but he needs a few days to recover from the time change and travel."

"How often are you going to go to karate once he's back?"

"I think four times a week. Wednesdays are out, of course, and I think we'll reserve Fridays for us. So Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday."

"Good. You're running on the ragged-edge of burnout right now."

"Tell me something I don't know," I said.

July 18, 1989, Milwaukee, Wisconsin

"«Привет», Viktor Vladimirovich," I said. ("Hello.")

"Good morning, Stephen Rayevich! How are you?" Mr. Bykov asked.

"Good. Thank you for the tea!" I said, accepting the glass in the silver holder he set in front of me.

"How are things with your family?"

"Very good. My new sons are quite healthy!"

"Yes, your very curious relationships are the source of much conversation amongst the people in Moscow who know you!"

I chuckled, "Of that, I have no doubt!"

We spoke for about fifteen minutes before I excused myself so that I could go find Chris and get started on the work that she needed. Fortunately, she'd faxed the specifications to me so that I could be prepared. I'd spent the drive up mulling over in my mind how I'd tackle the issues and had a good plan when I waddled into her office and gave the club greeting.

"I see you haven't forgotten me!" she said mirthfully, her eyes twinkling.

"How could I forget the President of Penguins Anonymous?" I chuckled. "I need to get to work right away. I already used up fifteen minutes with Mr. Bykov."

"Did you have any questions about the specification?"

"Just the ones I asked you on the phone. I'll get to work and get something rough put together, and you can decide if we're on the right track. I'd appreciate it if lunch was here at noon."

"I'll take care of that!"

I went to the next office and turned on the terminal. I logged in and got to work. I got into my zone quickly and didn't stop for nearly three hours, when I felt serious pressure on my bladder. I got up and went to use the bathroom, then went back to the office and assessed my progress. I was ahead of where I needed to be, but that assumed that the specification actually matched what Chris wanted, and there was no guarantee that was the case. I'd seen that happen before — what the customer actually wanted didn't match the spec, even after a thorough discussion. Chris brought in Chinese food a few minutes later.

"Let's go over this while we eat," I suggested.

She came to sit next to me and we talked through what I'd done, how it worked, and how it compared to what she actually wanted. It was close.

"So this number is the projected expenditure of the part, and this is the total we have on hand, and this is the suggested order size?" she asked, pointing to the very rough report I'd generated.

"Yes. The only thing I thought about was that instead of just a report, you'd want some kind of warning on the inventory screen as well as the repair order so you would know you were running low on parts. Otherwise, you could possibly run out depending on when you ran this order report."

"That makes sense. Are you going to be able to do that today?"

"I think so. What I've done so far seems to be what you wanted, so I'll have time. I planned to be here until around 8:00pm anyway."

We finished eating, and I got back to work on the programs, stopping only for a bathroom break and to drink a bottle of Coke. By the time the pizza arrived for our dinner, I was nearly done. I finished while we were eating and asked Chris to test the software while I wrote some basic documentation. She was back about twenty minutes later.

"I'd say it does exactly what we need it to do, and the red indicator on the inventory and repair screens is perfect. It'll warn the technicians that a part is running low."

"I have some basic documentation ready, so at this point it's just a matter of signing for the work."

I filled out the consulting form and handed it to her to sign. She signed it and handed it back, and I put it into my briefcase. My watch showed 7:30pm, meaning I'd finished with thirty minutes to spare.

"Do you have to head back right away?" she asked.

"I have to leave soon, but I can stay a few minutes. Why?"

"I was kind of curious about where things stood."

"I was actually surprised that you didn't flirt over the phone like you usually do."

"When Dave said that your wife was in labor, that kind of gave me pause. Combine that with the fact that you guys were having problems, and I wasn't sure where things stood. So I kept it professional."

"That's what I guessed. I suppose the question is, what are you looking for?"

"Right now? To get laid. I mean, I could take my chances and pick up a guy in a bar or club, but there's no guarantee it would be any good, not to mention that's kind of risky. I've gone out on dates, but the guys I've met have been pretty lame. I'm actually considering moving, because Milwaukee isn't cutting it."

"Where to?"

"I'm thinking Colorado. I've always wanted to live there, but obviously I'd have to find a job. I have enough money saved that I could do it, even if I didn't have a job when I moved. I'm sure I can find something. I guess it's just a matter of working up my courage. So you COULD, just not tonight?"

"I could, yes, but my schedule is pretty insane all the way until mid-September because I'm running the karate school until my master returns from Japan. And that's in addition to work and family."

"Are you avoiding me?" she asked.

"No, not at all. Honestly, I really am that busy. I've had to put so many things on the back-burner and I feel like I'm juggling chainsaws right now."

"OK," she said, sounding disappointed. "I'll let you get on your way home. Maybe next time."

"Maybe," I agreed.

Chris walked me to my car, we hugged, and then I headed back to Chicago.

July 19, 1989, Chicago, Illinois

"ABC News has footage of the crash of that United flight in Sioux City, Iowa," Elyse said when I arrived home.

We watched the video of United Airlines Flight 232 crashing in a fiery explosion as the crew tried to make an emergency landing after all the hydraulics had been destroyed by an engine explosion.

"How many people survived?" I asked.

"At least 180!"

"In that fiery explosion? Wow. It's nice to see SOME survivors from a crash for once."

"Dinner!" Veronica called.

After dinner, my wives and I went to the Indian room with Birgit and Albert.

"Next week we go back to counseling," Jessica said.

"Family and individual?" I asked.

"Yes. I was allowed two weeks of respite when I had Albert, but that's it. If we don't go back, I violate the terms of my reinstatement, and there is no way I'm letting THAT happen!"

"Me either! I've actually missed our sessions with Doctor Green."

"They have been very helpful," Kara said.

"Are we all doing OK?" I asked.

"I think so," Kara said. "It's been really nice to spend time with Jessica these last few weeks. We never had that kind of time before, but she's home because of the pregnancy and I'm not in school, so we've spent a lot of time together."

"I think so too," Jessica said. "We're all communicating better and we've resolved every issue without any real conflicts. We still have a ways to go, but I think we're all happy."

"I agree, but I don't want to get complacent about it. We're going to run into trouble at some point, and, honestly, I'm likely to be responsible for a good part of it."

"I think the key is just staying watchful," Jessica said. "And if we're open and honest with each other, we can solve any problems that we face. As for responsibility, I don't think you should blame yourself in advance!"

"I suppose, but isn't that part of staying watchful? Being mindful of the potential to create problems and doing our best to avoid them, or at least resolve them when they arise rather than let them fester?"

"There is one relatively important unresolved issue that we need to deal with, Tiger."

"I'm pretty sure you're referring to Abbie, but I'm not sure there's anything I can do about that. I'm guessing Kara filled you in on the conversation we had in the sauna?"

"Yes, and I'm sorry none of us said anything to you about it. We thought you knew."

"I did know," I sighed. "I just didn't understand what I knew. And I think I made the problem worse by telling her how I felt about her. I didn't think it through because I didn't realize what she wanted, and I said some things that probably encouraged her. I feel bad about it."

"And that's what we need to resolve," Jessica said. "How YOU feel about it. Elyse told you that you have a responsibility to yourself, and that's true. You also have one to us, to Elyse, and to our children. Anything you could be to Abbie has to take all of that into account, AND has to come after all of us in terms of priorities. Which means you probably can't give her anything close to what she wants. And that's what's making you feel bad."

"I almost feel like I led her on," I said.

"You might have," Jessica said. "But you were being you. And I don't mean that in a bad way. You truly care about her. She saw that and reacted to it. Her reaction is HER issue, Tiger, not yours. She spent some time talking to each of us, especially Jennifer and Josie, and we have some insights that might help you now and in the future."