Chapter 10

Janet sat at her laptop. “Look -- it works,” she said. “I convinced Kyle to let me install the VPN software. Now I can log in as an administrator from home. This way I can work part-time even when I’m on maternity leave.”

“You’re nuts,” Eva replied.

“Nuts? To want to be productive while I’m away?”

“You’re nuts to think you’ll have time for it and to think when you do have time for it that you’ll feel like doing it.”

“You know I take my responsibilities seriously.”

“I know. Your responsibility is for your child. Kyle can manage without you for three months.”

Janet hoisted herself out of her chair. “Shall we go up?” She climbed the stairs and performed her nightly routine. Then, Janet stepped into the bedroom and slipped off her robe.

She stood sideways to Eva who was sitting up in bed. “Oh, God -- look at me.” She ran her hands along her belly. “I don’t look like I’m going to have a baby. I look like I’m going to deliver a Porsche.”

“At least you didn’t develop a dark line above your navel.”

“Yeah, but it popped inside-out. I look so gross.”

“Two weeks and counting,” Eva remarked. “We need to be ready at a moment’s notice. Due dates are like forecasting the weather -- more art than science.”

Janet lay on her back beside Eva. “I want to get this over with so I can get a good night’s sleep.”

“Fat chance,” Eva replied. “Monica was nearly eight months old before she would sleep through the night.”

“Eight months!”

“I became a power napper. When she went down for a nap, so did I.”

Janet grasped Eva’s hand. “You’re such a comfort. Knowing you’ve gone through this before eases my mind.”

“Have you thought any more about names?”

“What do you think of unisex names? Like Cory or Tracy?”

“I don’t know,” Eva replied. “I don’t care for either of those.’

“How about Britt? That could work for a girl or a boy.”

“It’s important for a kid’s name to have a vowel you can yodel out. That way if you need to call them in a hurry the name carries.”

“Britt won’t carry,” Janet agreed. “Monica is good -- it has two vowels you can yodel.”

“I think I prefer feminine-sounding names for girls,” Eva remarked.

“So, Erica is still on the top of our girl’s list.”

“And, Eric on the boy’s list.”

“Show’s how imaginative we are.” Janet yawned. “Good night, Eva. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” She closed her eyes but was unable to drowse. Janet rolled from one side to the other. “Uhn,” she grunted.

“Can’t get comfortable?”

“My back’s bothering me.”

“That can be an early sign of labor, Janet.”

“It’s been bothering me all day. I think I tweaked it. Holding up this big gut in front doesn’t help any, either.” She grimaced. “OH!”

“What?”

“Spasm. Down low in back.”

“We shouldn’t take any chances,” Eva said. “We should get you to the hospital.”

“What if I’m not in labor?”

“They’ll send you home. I went to the hospital three times before they admitted me.”

“If I have more spasms and if they seem to be at all regular -- then we go to the hospital. Now, I’m going to try to get some sleep.”

Janet lay in a hospital gown. Eva sat beside her and held her hand. “So much for a spasm from tweaking your back,” she said. Her gaze swung around the room. “They didn’t have this when I had Monica.”

“Have what?”

“These birthing rooms. The ambience is a bit more home-like, don’t you think?”

“I’m not fooled. I know I’m in a hospital.” She closed her eyes and attempted the breathing exercise she learned in birthing class. The contraction passed and she exhaled. “These breathing techniques are doing squat for me.”

A nurse stepped in. “Janet -- we’re going to start an I.V.”

“What does she need that for?” Eva asked.

“In case we need to push some meds into her quick, it’ll be in place.” She turned to Janet. “You’re right-handed?”

“Yeah.”

The nurse prepared a vein on the back of Janet’s left hand and inserted the catheter. “There we go,” she said as she taped the line to Janet’s forearm. The nurse picked up a clip board. “You’ve elected not to have an epidural.”

“Yes,” Janet replied, “we discussed the pros and cons. Eva assures me the female mind is good at erasing the pain.”

“That’s true,” Eva added. “I remember going through labor with Monica but I don’t recall severe pain -- even though I must’ve experienced it.”

“I’ve heard that from a lot of moms. Epidural numbs you from the waist down. You lose control of all your muscles ... all of them. It can slow down your labor and sometimes the drugs cross the placenta and affect the baby.”

“I ... we want this to be as natural as possible,” Janet added. She drew in a deep breath and held it as the contraction peaked.

“Breathe,” Eva coached.

Janet shook her head and gasped. “It felt better not to.”

“Dr Jamison will be in to pop your water,” the nurse said. “That should get things going. Did the doctor speak to you about a cervical block?”

“She did,” Janet replied.

“That will numb just your bottom. Dr Jamison believes a surgical cut will heal more quickly and satisfactorily than torn tissues.”

“We went over that,” Eva said.

“I’ll let you have some peace and quiet.”

Janet lay in a fetal position, her eyes closed and her face red from holding her breath. The contraction passed and she panted to regain her breath. “They’re coming hard and fast, now,” Eva remarked.

The nurse stepped in. “Time to check her.”

Eva coaxed Janet onto her back and the nurse felt under her gown. “She’s almost there. Doctor will be in to do the cervical block.”

Janet felt another contraction. She rolled onto her side, drew in a breath and held it, then gasped and panted as it passed. “God, I want to push so badly,” she said.

“You’ll have your chance,” the nurse said, “and it will feel good.” She looked toward Eva. “She’s doing really well.”

Eva nodded. “Better than I did. She’s getting through this on sheer determination, I think. I’m proud of her.”

Janet flailed her arm and Eva held her hand. She drew in a breath, held it and then panted.

Her obstetrician stepped into the birthing room. “Janet -- we must get you into position.” Eva helped Janet onto her back and lifted the head of the bed a bit. “We’re going to do a cervical block,” the doctor said. “You might feel a pinch.” Janet grasped Eva’s hand and squeezed it. “That will take a couple of minutes to establish. Janet -- I think on the next contraction you can start pushing. Okay?”

“Okay...” She felt the contraction begin.

“Now, Push ... push, push, push...”

Janet took a breath, held it and bore down. Her face reddened and veins in her neck protruded. The contraction passed and she panted. “That actually did feel good,” she said.

“Baby’s in good position. I think we’ll start seeing a head with the next one.”

Janet bore down with the next contraction. “She’s crowning,” Eva exclaimed. Janet panted as the contraction subsided.

“I’m going to make a slight cut,” the doctor said. “It’ll heal better than a tear. Push hard on the next one and we’ll likely see a head.” Janet held her breath and bore down. “I’m going to help a little...” She reached for her forceps.

Janet panted. “I saw stars on that one.”

“The head’s out,” Eva remarked. “Another push and you’ll be done.”

Janet pushed again. When she opened her eyes she saw the doctor holding the baby. “It’s a girl,” she said.

Eva punched the air. “YES!” she exclaimed.

“Apgars look good,” a nurse remarked. “Seven pounds three.” She turned to Janet. “Do you want to hold her?”

“Are you kidding?” Tears flowed down Janet’s face. “I’ve waited nine months to hold her.”

“We did it!” Eva exclaimed. She hugged Janet and they kissed. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Do you have a name picked out?” the nurse asked.

“We do,” Eva replied. “We picked Erica.”

“No,” Janet said. “I’ve changed my mind.”

“I thought we agreed,” Eva said.

“A much better name came to me while I was lying here. Janeva -- that’s J A N E V A. Janeva August Joy.” She reached for Eva’s hand. “I wanted her to be a tribute to us.”

Eva’s eyes filled. “Janet -- it’s perfect. August is her birth month.”

“And, our anniversary month.”

“We have a little more to do here,” the nurse said. “We have a room upstairs waiting for you.”

Janet sat in her comfy chair holding Janeva to her breast. She stroked the infant’s sparse light hair as she nursed. The baby let go of her nipple. “Is that side dry?” she asked and shifted to her other breast. Janeva’s nursing became unenthusiastic. Janet held her over her shoulder to burp her and then set her in a cradle.

Her doorbell rang and she answered it. “Jill!”

“Hi, girlfriend. I came to see how you’re doing.”

“We’re doing okay,” Janet replied. “Eva organized a nice baby shower with folks at work. We’re pretty well established.”

“What’s it been? Three weeks now?”

“Three weeks ago yesterday.”

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m still a bit sore. It finally stopped hurting to poop. That was a milestone.” Janet regarded her friend. “You’re looking good.”

“I’m doing good. Real good.”

“How’s your love life?”

Jill broke into a broad smile and bit her lip. “Fan-tast-ic.”

“Details. I need details.”

“I found a new girlfriend, girlfriend.”

“Congratulations. How did you meet her?”

“Through a mutual acquaintance.”

“Who?”

“Who do you think?”

“I don’t know ... Lahni?”

“None other. I ran into Lahni while I was doing some shopping. We sat down for coffee and had a long chat.”

“How is Lahni doing?”

“Really well. She’s on some new meds and they’ve really helped her.”

“And, her partner?”

“Split, but she says that’s okay. It’s giving her time to work on herself. Her illustration career is doing well and she’s even a part-time instructor at Gillis Institute of Art and Design.”

“GIAD ... I’ve heard of them.”

“And, she knew of a student at GIAD who she thought I should meet. Her name is Caitlin. She’s twenty-two and studying art after getting a degree in history.”

“You and Caitlin hit it off?”

“We certainly did. In fact, Caitlin is now living with us. She needed a pad and we offered her ours.”

Janet’s eyes popped. “Under your roof? How does Kenny like that?”

“Kenny loves it. Having her in the house has really spiced things up with him.”

“Do you mean three-ways?”

“Two-ways, three-ways, mix and match.” Jill smiled broadly. “It’s great, Janet. I’m in heaven.”

“I’m happy it’s working for you.”

“So,” Jill said, “where’s this so-called baby of yours?”

Janet picked her up from the cradle. “Right here. We just finished a feeding.”

“Are you nursing her?”

“Yes, I am.”

“How’s that going?”

Janet nodded. “Better. I think it’s like any learned activity. You get better with practice and we both needed to learn the ropes.”

“Are you sore?”

“Not so much any more. I was at the beginning but Eva found some cream to put on my nipples and that helps a lot.” Janet handed Janeva to Jill. “Did you nurse Brian?”

“No. I couldn’t. Brian was a preemie -- he came about six weeks early and spent three weeks in a neonatal unit. By the time we could take him home, my milk had dried up.”

“I wish some of mine would dry up.” Janet cupped her hands under her breasts. “I can’t believe how prolific these things are. I have to pump them morning, noon, evening and night, and even with Janeva’s nursing I make more than she can use. I end up throwing some away ... some days half of what I produce.”

“Pump less,” Jill replied.

“Then I get heavy and engorged feeling and it’s uncomfortable.”

“Do you know what you should do?”

“What?”

“Check out the milk bank at the hospital.”

“Milk bank?”

“Yeah. When we brought Brian home, he couldn’t tolerate any formula. It was down to expensive, prescription stuff or mothers’ milk from the milk bank. Moms like you donate their surplus, they process it and distribute it. You could end up helping kids like Brian.”

“The local hospital does this?”

“They’re part of the network -- or, they were when Brian was born. Check it out.”

“We’ll go over there this afternoon.”

Janet stepped into the bedroom. “Janeva’s down,” she said and adjusted the receiver of a baby monitor near the bed. She slipped out of her robe.

“What’s that?” Eva asked and pointed to a bandage on the inside of Janet’s left elbow. “Did you have some blood work done?”

“Oh, yeah.” She pulled off the band-aid and examined the small, dark scab from the venipuncture. “Janeva and I went to sign up at the milk bank over at the hospital. Since I seem to have a surplus I thought I’d see if they could use it. Apparently I’m exactly the sort of donor they’re looking for. They did blood tests ... tests on all my bodily fluids. I got a call later that I’ve been accepted. Tomorrow we go for instruction on how collect and to get some supplies.”

“I think that sounds like a wonderful idea, Janet. It won’t be going to waste.”

Janet cuddled against Eva and they kissed. Eva smoothed her hand along Janet’s flank and then stroked the side of her breast. “Eva -- please, no.”

“Not ready?”

She shook her head. “Not ready. If you need it, then we can...”

“If you’re not responding then I wouldn’t get anything out of it.”

“I’m sorry, Eva. I know you probably want it. I’m still adjusting.”

“I understand, Janet. I really do. You’re doing amazingly well ... better than I did with Monica.”

“You’re just saying that.”

“I mean it.”

Janet snuggled tightly to Janet. She closed her eyes.

The sound of Janeva’s crying coming through the baby monitor disturbed her slumber. Janet began to climb out of bed, but Eva stopped her. “I’ll take this one,” she said. “There’s milk in the fridge?”

“Plenty of it.”

“You go back to sleep.”

“Thank you.” She closed her eyes.

Again the sound of Janeva’s crying roused her. She reached for Eva and found herself alone in bed. Then, she heard the shower. Her clock read five thirty.

Janet climbed out of bed and slipped into her robe. She picked up Janeva, changed her diaper, carried her to the bedroom and lay her on the bed. Then, she hung up her robe and lay on her side with the baby on a pillow and held her to her breast.

Eva stepped in from the shower. “You know that’s a dangerous thing to do,” she said.

“It’s dangerous to sleep with a baby,” Janet replied. “I’m feeding her. The chances I’ll zonk out and smother her are pretty low.”

“It is quite a picture -- you, lying nude with a babe at your breast. Lovely.”

“Quite lovely I’m sure.”

“I’ll go start breakfast.”

“We’ll be down,” Janet replied. She slipped into her robe, carried Janeva to the kitchen and resumed nursing her.

Eva glanced toward the laptop computer sitting on a desk. “So -- how many times have you logged into the office?”

“Shut up,” Janet replied. “That’s primarily for emergencies, anyway.”

Janet sat in the bay window with a paperback. She noticed a taxi pull into her driveway. The doorbell rang and she opened it. “Mom.”

“Janet.”

“This is a surprise.”

“More like a shock.”

“That, too.”

“Janet -- may I come in?”

“Certainly ... Come in.” She stood aside and her mother stepped through the door carrying a suitcase. “What are you doing here?”

“I came for three reasons.” Her mother looked her in the eye. “First, to apologize. Janet -- I do accept you. I accept what’s in your nature that’s beyond your choosing, and I accept the choices you’ve made. They seem to have been good ones...”

“Mom -- that’s all I ever wanted from you.”

“ ... and, I was wrong. The path I took isn’t the only one and not always the best one. I’ve come to beg your forgiveness, Janet. I’m prepared to on my knees if necessary.”

“Not necessary, Mom. I forgive you. What brought this about?”

“You may thank Eva for it.”

“Eva?”

“After your visit this past May ... such as it was, Eva phoned me.”

“Eva called you? How did she get your number?”

“It’s in the book, Janet. We had a long conversation. In fact, we’ve conversed often over the past three months and we’ve become good friends. We discovered we have quite a bit in common. Not the least of which is a remarkable young woman we both love.”

Janet felt her eyes burning and her vision blurred as they filled with tears. “Oh, Mom!” She embraced her mother and they hugged. Then, she plucked facial tissues from a box, handed one to her mother and used one on her own eyes. “Why didn’t she tell me?”

“I implored her not to,” Audrey replied. “I figured when the time was ripe you should hear it first from me, in person. Eva also facilitated my travel and bought my ticket. I understand why you love her so. She’s a fine woman.”

“She is indeed.”

“I deserved your rebuke back in May,” Audrey continued. “Now I understand what you were saying. You have someone to care for you and someone to care for. That’s all that matters.”