Underground Star
Chapter 4: The First Time

Copyright© 2016 by Fh John

Incest Sex Story: Chapter 4: The First Time - When a creepy man approaches my fourteen-year-old daughter and I at the mall, offering to turn her into a star, I have my doubts about him and what he has in mind. Phoebe is excited, however, and presses me to let her do it. I spoil her too much, I think, so I give in. It turns out that my doubts were well deserved, but Phoebe's eagerness convinces me to let her pursue her dream and before I know it, she is a star of the underground kind and I'm one of her co-stars.

Caution: This Incest Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma/ft   Consensual   Fiction   Incest   Father   Daughter   Group Sex   Interracial   First   Oral Sex   Exhibitionism   Voyeurism   Slow  

Not a second more attention had been paid to Packard’s yard when we pulled up that next Friday. The grass still hadn’t been cut, no weeds had been pulled and the porch looked just as rickety as it did the first time. I expected no less, I suppose.

The only difference at all was that there was another car sitting in the driveway. It was a silver BMW, way too nice to belong to Packard and I couldn’t help but wonder if maybe Packard had some real connections after all. Maybe the car belonged to some kind of producer or something. Phoebe and I got out of the car and walked up to the door. Before I could knock, he opened the door, ushering us in. Right away, I knew the producer premise was wrong. The owner of the BMW was another father and his daughter was with him. She was a cute little redhead, Phoebe’s age, or possibly a year older, standing with her side pressed against her daddy to calm her nerves.

“Good to see you again, Mr. Barnes,” Packard said, extending his hand in professional courtesy. He traced my gaze to his unknown guests. He released his grip on my hand and walked up to them, putting one hand on the girl’s shoulder. “This is young Miss Anna Sue Brinkmeijer and her father James. I hope you don’t mind my inviting them here. They have a few reservations, so I thought a little demonstration might help alleviate their fears.”

“We don’t mind, do we, daddy,” Phoebe said with bold enthusiasm.

I couldn’t help but give the girl a once over. Over the past week, I had learned a lot about the sexual curiosity of young girls. Back when I was that age, I always thought only boys were curious about sex and willing to experiment. In my head, I thought that boys would have to be crafty and trick girls into experimenting with sex. Somehow, I got the impression that girls wanted to wait for marriage or at a minimum, wait until they had a serious boyfriend before they were willing to run the bases. Phoebe taught me different. Through her, I found out that young women were just as curious and just as willing as guys were, but as I looked young Miss Anna over, I couldn’t imagine her going any further than first base. I could see her kissing a boy, but in my mind, the moment a boy reached over and touched her leg, or God forbid a boob, she would immediately smack the hand away with disdain. At least, that’s the way I pictured it. Her dress was long and frilly, the kind of thing you’d expect to see a girl her age wear to a confirmation, with a little blue bow tied around the back of her head, holding her coarse red hair in place.

“I suppose we don’t,” I agreed. Her father gave me an awkward and embarrassed smile, turning it toward his little princess and I could see it then. It wasn’t his daughter that wanted this. It was him. I saw the hint of lust in his eyes, lust directed toward his little girl. I suppose I couldn’t judge him. Not after enjoying the feel of my own daughter’s lips wrapped around my member, relishing in the way she eagerly pleased me with her tongue and mouth.

“Good, very good,” Packard said. “Shall we retreat to my office, then?”

“I don’t see why not,” I said, my mind getting back to what I had been waiting for all week. The idea that this would happen in front of a complete stranger was a little weird for me, but that wasn’t much different than having the experience in front of Packard, so I couldn’t really complain. We all headed into the basement single file and I couldn’t help but notice that the couch was positioned in front of the bed, instead of being in its own section. Behind the couch, pointed directly at the bed, was a camera mounted onto a tripod, a large microphone extending from the front of it.

Packard directed us to sit on the couch. Surprisingly, when Anna tried to sit at one end of the couch, placing her father between she and I, Packard gently insisted she sit in the middle. I didn’t know why at the time, but as things began to unfold, so did my understanding of that move.

With us seated, Packard brought his attention to Phoebe. She was standing at the foot of the bed with her hands folded in front of her.

“Now, Phoebe. Before we begin, I’d like to ask you a few personal questions, okay, Phoebe?.”

“Okay,” she said staring at him with curiosity.

“Good,” he said. “Now, you don’t have to answer these questions if you don’t want to. They will be very personal, but answering them will help me decide how to open the scene, okay?”

“Sure,” she said. “I don’t mind personal questions.”

“Very good, Phoebe. That’s what I love about you. You are so very brave.”

Phoebe beamed at him and waited for the first question.

“Okay, so we both know what the plan is today. My first question to you is whether this is something you want to do for yourself, or are you just doing it because you want to be a star and are willing to do whatever it takes to get there.”

“Oh, no. Not at all. This is a dream come true for me,” Phoebe said.

“You realize what I’m asking you, right? I am asking you whether or not you want to have sex with your own father. I’m not talking about becoming a star.”

“So am I,” she said. “My dad is the sexiest guy on the planet. At least he is to me.”

“Excellent,” Packard said. “Perfect. Now, if you don’t mind, can you help me understand why you want to have sex with your dad? Most girls your age want to have sex, but the closest they come to wanting to do it with their fathers is having sex with guys that remind them of their dads.”

“It’s kind of the same thing, isn’t it? Think about it,” she said. “Why would I want to have sex with someone who reminds me of my dad, when I can have the real thing. I think I’m the luckiest girl in the world to have a dad willing to give me what I really want, don’t you?”

“So, I’m curious. Have you thought about this before? I mean, before I suggested it to you last week.”

“Mmhmm,” she said. “All the time. I guess you could say I’ve always been kind of a naughty girl. Whenever I know I’m not supposed to want to do something, I automatically want to do it.”

“Awesome,” Packard said. “Okay, here’s what I have in mind. You tell me if this is something you can do, okay?”

“Okay,” she said.

“I want to dress you up sexy, of course. You know, put you in some innocent, but sexy clothes and put a sucker in your hand. Guys love that kind of thing. Then I want to film you telling the audience what a good little naughty girl you are. I’d like for you to describe all the naughty things you want to do with your daddy. How’s that sound, Phoebe. Could you do that?”

“I thought I was going to get to ... you know ... give my virginity to him today.”

“You will, baby. I promise. But the guys love getting to know more about a girl before they see her doing something like that.”

“Oooh,” she said, a lightbulb going off in her mind. “Sure. I get it.”

Packard led Phoebe to his wardrobe section. He picked out a cute little white skirt that seemed way too small for her and a white button up shirt that I wasn’t sure she could fit into. He handed her a pair of white socks that were long enough to extend high on her legs and a pair of white shoes that would fit her, but looked like they belonged on a girl much younger. On their way back into the set, he snatched a large multi-colored lollipop that was still in its wrapper, instructing her to go ahead and peel the wrapper off. He led her back into the room and Phoebe began removing the clothes she was wearing right in front of us.

I watched the two newcomers with curiosity as Phoebe began removing her clothes. James couldn’t take his eyes away from Phoebe. He had his hands covering his crotch and I could see him adding pressure as his erection began to grow. Anna kept blinking. She’d look at Phoebe, then her father and finally me, as if she was wondering when someone was going to yell at her for getting naked in front of other people.

And she did get naked, doing so without any hesitation. She removed her top, her bra, pulled her skirt down and took off her panties, smiling up at Mr. Brinkmeijer as if inviting him to enjoy the view.

“That reminds me,” Packard said. “Hold on a second, Phoebe.” He held up a finger and dashed back to the wardrobe stand. He snatched a pair of panties and quickly returned, handing them to Phoebe. Phoebe held them up, turning them around so I could see the Hello Kitty cat’s face.

“I used to have a pair just like this when I was little,” she said with a grin.

Mr. Brinkmeijer squeezed the shaft of his erection and his eyes went glassy. Anna shifted nervously in her seat next to me.

Phoebe was just getting ready to begin putting her panties on when Packard walked back up to Phoebe and whispered something in her ear. Phoebe smiled and her eyes lit up.

“Gladly,” she said with a nod. She sat on the end of the bed, opening her legs directly toward Mr. Brinkmeijer.

“What do you think of me, Mr. Brinkmeijer,” she asked. She reached between her legs and gently stroked her fingers up and down her slit. She opened her legs a little more and used her fingers to open her pussy lips up. It wasn’t the first time I’d seen Phoebe’s jewels, but that didn’t stop me from enjoying the sight this time.

“Uh,” he said, glancing nervously over at his daughter as if he were ashamed to compliment another girl in front of her. “Very nice, young lady.”

“Would you like to touch it,” she asked him.

“Well, uh ... no,” he said, his eyes shooting over to me.

“It’s okay, James. She loves to be touched by men.”

He squeezed his erection again. I could almost sense the rapid pace of his heartbeat.

“I, uh ... well, I don’t think I should,” he said.

“Please, Mr. Brinkmeijer. Will you please touch my pussy,” Phoebe said. She leaned back and began to slide two fingers up and down her slit. Her eyes glazed over a little and she cooed softly.

“Oh, my,” Mr. Brinkmeijer said. “You really are a naughty little girl.”

Phoebe gazed at him with a look of determination in her eye. She nodded, continuing to stroke herself with her fingers. “I am, Mr. Brinkmeijer. I’m a very naughty girl.” She got up from the edge of the bed and walked up to him. She stood in front of him, parting her legs as she approached, placing one foot on either side of his knees. She arched her back, pushing her hips forward.

“It’s okay, Mr. Brinkmeijer,” she said. “You can touch it if you want.”

Mr. Brinkmeijer’s gaze shifted to me. He had an apologetic look on his face that said, ‘Gee, mister Barnes. I know I’m not supposed to want to fondle your daughter, but I just can’t help it.’

“It really is okay, James,” I said. “My daughter likes to let men touch her there.”

“Oh, I see,” he said, turning his attention back to Phoebe. His hand lifted toward her inner thigh, as if on auto-pilot, like someone else was controlling it. He placed his palm gently on her inner thigh and began to caress her. Anna’s eyes widened as if she couldn’t believe her father would have the audacity to molest another girl right in front of her, but her eyes had just as much curiosity in them as they did anything else. Her father’s hand slid up, his finger brushing against the meat of her labia and his tongue protruded slightly from his lips as his fingers made their way to her slit, the tips of them sliding against her clitoris. Phoebe’s head lulled back and she uttered a guttural moan as his fingers toyed momentarily, giving her a wave of pleasure.

“Thank you,” she said when he pulled his hand back. “That felt wonderful.” She tossed him a casual smile, turned back to the bed and waltzed up to it, taking her panties in her hand and leaving Mr. Brinkmeijer’s jaw hanging agape.

“Does she let men do that often,” Mr. Brinkmeijer asked.

I smiled at him. “As often as she can.”

“Yes, but not just anyone, though ... right? I mean, she does have standards, doesn’t she?”

“Sure. I think she prefers older men.”

He stared at me blankly, his eyebrows creased.

“But you wouldn’t allow just any older man to touch her.”

“No, of course not. Only the men that she wants to let touch her there.”

He blinked at me and his mouth opened a little further.

“I, um...” he started, his gaze shifted to Anna who was already staring up at her in wonder. “I would never allow just anyone to touch my daughter.”

“But you would me, right? I mean, I did just allow you to touch Phoebe. Fair is fair.”

Anna’s face turned a little pink, knowing we were talking about her. I could tell she wanted to look at me, but she was too embarrassed.

“I, um ... well, maybe I shouldn’t have done that,” he said. “I hardly think that my dear sweet Anna would want some perfect stranger putting his hand between her legs.”

“But if she was okay with it, you would allow it, right?” I said. I couldn’t help myself. I had to do it. I lifted my hand and placed it gently on Anna’s leg. Her gaze shifted down and her face turnedbeet red, but she didn’t complain or make any move against my advance. All she could do was stare at my hand as it sat flatly upon her dress, her leg shifted slightly open, letting me know that she didn’t hate having it there.

“You see,” I said. “She doesn’t mind.”

Mr. Brinkmeijer’s face was almost as red as hers was and Packard’s smile stretched from ear to ear as he watched me with approval, knowing that I was softening up his newest subject.

“My daughter doesn’t allow just anyone to touch her like that,” Mr. Brinkmeijer said.

“It’s okay, daddy,” she said. “He’s not hurting me.”

His lips snapped shut, shaking his second chin.

“Anna, sweetie. You don’t even know this man.”

“And you don’t know her, daddy,” she said. “But that didn’t stop you from feeling her up, now did it.”

That shut him up and I had to stifle a laugh.

By the time I looked back at Phoebe, she was finalizing her outfit. As I suspected, the shirt Packard gave her was too small. There was no way she could secure the buttons, but I’m pretty sure that was what Packard was going for. The best she could do was tie the bottom of the shirt together, leaving the center of her chest exposed, the material of the shirt barely covering the mounds of her breasts. The skirt was way too small and barely covered her panties at all. The part of her ensemble that covered the most skin were those socks. They stretched up beyond her knees, leaving only a foot of her thighs out in the open. Phoebe sat on the bed, picked up her lollipop and began to lick it.

Packard stepped up to her and started working on her hair. He took two rubber bands and pulled her hair into ponytails that stuck out on either side of her head. Phoebe was fourteen, but sitting there like that, she didn’t look it. She looked so sweet and innocent, a precious little princess, all dressed in white, just like any daddy would want his little girl to be.

“So, what am I supposed to do now,” she asked.

“All I really need for you to do is tell us a little of your story. Tell us what you like and don’t like. Explain the best you can how you came to be who you are today. Nothing you can say will be wrong, Phoebe. Your story is your story and all you have to do is tell it.”

“I think I can do that,” she said. “Just give me a minute to think about what to say.”

“Sure,” Packard said as he walked around to stand in front of the camera. “Just give me the okay sign when you are ready. I won’t start filming until then.”

Phoebe nodded and lowered her head in thought. She sat there, still, like ice waiting to melt for a while. When she was ready, she lifted her chin to the camera again, and raised her hand, forming an ‘O’ with her finger and thumb.

“And, action,” Packard said.

Phoebe smiled as she began to speak, her eyes opened wide, glimmering in the lights.

“When I was younger, my daddy always told me to behave like a little lady. He called me princess and he always reminded me of how special I was. I expected him to say things like that, because I knew how much he loved me, but deep down, I always wanted him to show me how special I was. I wanted him to make me feel special like he used to make my mom feel special before she died. Back then, I didn’t know why they made those noises late at night. All I knew was that my mommy had to be feeling pretty special and after she died, it was those noises that I laid in bed at night thinking about.

“I even tried to get my daddy to notice me as more than just a child. I’d try to dress up the way my mom used to on the nights they made the noises, but when I did, my daddy would tell me I didn’t look like much of a lady. I thought he was saying that because the clothes didn’t fit quite right. They were too big for me, so I made my daddy promise me that I could dress however I wanted when I turned fourteen. By then, I knew why my mom made those noises and I also knew that I was somehow going to make those noises for him. I’m older now and even though my body doesn’t look like my mom’s yet, it’s getting closer and every now and then, I catch my daddy looking at me just like he used to look at my mom.

“When he does, it makes me feel so sexy and naughty. I think about what it will be like to let my daddy put his thing in my mouth. I know that guys like doing that, because some of the boys at school talk about it. Just thinking about letting him do that with me, makes me want to touch myself. I can’t help it. I know it’s not ladylike to let any man put it in your mouth, but I don’t care. Doing it makes me feel naughty. It gives me butterflies in my stomach, just like riding a rollercoaster does. I like the way that feels.

“The idea of telling my daddy what I want to do with him is a little scary. I keep remembering the way he’s always telling me to be his little lady, but I don’t want to be his little lady. I want to be naughty for him. I want to open my legs for him and let him touch me. I want to feel his fingers inside of me and I want him to kiss me, but I don’t want daddy kisses. I want the kind of kisses that actors give each other, the kind of kisses that only grownups share. Most of all, I want to lay on my back and see my daddy’s face shimmering in candlelight. I want to hear him grunting the way he used to grunt for mommy, because I know that’s what people do when they love each other.

“What I don’t really understand yet, is why my daddy wanted me to act like a little lady in the first place. I was sitting on the bus on the way home from school the other day and this guy that I have a little bit of a crush on sat next to me. I know he’s not my daddy, but I still wanted him to like me, so when he started trying to rub my leg, I let him, even though I know a girl is supposed to try to get a guy to like her for who she is. The truth is I liked letting him touch me and I knew that if I let him, he might like me back. It worked too. He’s one of the coolest guys in our school. A lot of girls like him and want the same thing I do, but he was choosing me. I let him kiss me and I let him rub his hands up and down my legs and I didn’t ask him to stop when he started lifting my dress higher, even though there were other kids watching us. He gave them the ‘shh’ sign,” she said, holding her index finger in front of her lips. “And everybody that was watching did what he said. It surprised me a little when he took his dick out right in front of everybody, but I liked seeing it. It was kind of big; bigger than I expected it to be and the moment I saw it, all I could think about was putting it in my mouth. Thinking about doing that for him gave me the tingles all throughout my body, so I did it. I leaned down and started licking his boner for him and he really liked it. He told my how wonderful I was making him feel and he told me I would get a special present from him if I did it good enough. I knew what he meant. My friends told me what happens when a girl gives a good blowjob and I couldn’t wait. I knew I could make him squirt it in my mouth and he did too. Then he gave me the sweetest kiss and it didn’t bother him that I had his spunk on my lips.

“I was the girl who got what all the other girls wanted, and I wouldn’t have if I listened to my daddy. Guys don’t like girls that act like ladies and girls who are willing to be naughty are the ones who get guys to like them. Besides, now that I’m willing to be a little naughtier, my English teacher says that I don’t have to do my homework anymore or take any of the tests. All I have to do is stay after class and be naughty for him. That’s a whole lot better than writing paragraphs or answering questions that I have to study for hours to remember. His black cock feels so good in my mouth and his sperm tastes amazing. I love kneeling down under his desk while he pretends to be grading tests. We do it that way just in case someone walks by the door. We don’t want anyone to catch me earning a better grade.”

I didn’t like the confessions she was making. Letting her experiment was one thing, but she was getting a little carried away and I didn’t want her to get caught. Sucking her teacher’s cock in the classroom was an invitation for trouble and sucking guys off on the bus wasn’t any better. She and I were going to have a serious conversation about that.

Her story was distracting me, but as she spoke, Anna was starting to warm up. I felt her fingers tugging at her dress. When I looked down, she was smiling up at me. I helped her along, lifting her dress out of the way, so that I could feel the bare skin of her leg. Her father didn’t seem too happy about that, but when I nodded, inviting him to join me, the complaint on his face disappeared and his hand slid onto her other thigh. Anna’s eyes widened a little. Letting a complete stranger fondle her leg was one thing, but I don’t she was too sure about letting her own father do it. She stared at his hand with a blank expression on her face. I think she wanted to say something to him, but she lacked the courage. All she could do was watch his hand as it crept its way closer to her panties. Mine was doing the same.

I could see the internal struggle written in her expressions. One side was winning over the other, however, because as our hands caressed her thighs, she couldn’t help but to lean back a little, spreading her legs for us so our hands could reach higher. Her breathing got a little heavier as our hands slid up and down her legs and when our fingers finally began to brush against her panties, her breath caught in her lungs.

“I hope my daddy doesn’t think bad of me when he finds out I’m not a little lady,” Phoebe continued, pausing just long enough to lick her large, circular lollipop. “Today’s going to be the day. I can’t wait any longer. I put on this cute little outfit and when he gets home from work, I’m going to let him touch me between the legs.” Phoebe slid her rump forward and lifted her skirt. “I finally figured out how to get him to do it,” she added with a smile. “I’m wearing my Hello Kitty panties and I’m going to ask him to pet my kitty. If he says no, I’m going to beg him to do it. I’ll beg him until he says yes. He can never tell me no for too long. He always does what I want him to. Always. And after he pets my kitty, I know he’ll let me put his thing in my mouth, just like I’ve always dreamed he would.”

“And CUT!” Packard echoed out.

“Brilliant, Phoebe! Absolutely fucking brilliant! My god, girl. You are gold in my fucking hands, girl!”

He pranced around the side of the couch and went straight to Phoebe. He bent and gave her a big smooch on the lips. She smiled and I could tell she was coming back from a daze. Packard might be thinking she was acting, but she wasn’t. She had gotten lost in her own story and simply said whatever was on her mind. She had retreated to some fantasy world, reality completely leaving her.

“Thanks,” she said. “I think. What’d I say anyway?”

We all laughed. Even the Brinkmeijers.

“I could do just as good,” Anna piped in. “She’s not all that amazing.”

“I know you could, sweetie,” her father said.

“Good, good,” Packard said. “I like your spirit, Anna. Between you and Phoebe here, we’ll all make a mint. I think you both will become stars. Both of you!”

“I’ll be more popular than she is, daddy. I can be just as slutty as her. I let two guys feel me up at the same time, ya know.”

“Yes, you did, honey,” her father said.

Phoebe and I exchanged looks. My look to her was an attempt to get her not to react. If little miss fancy pants wanted to turn this into a competition, I say let her. That wasn’t what we were there for.

“So, can I book you two for a shoot tomorrow?” Packard asked.

“Of course,” Anna insisted. “And I promise. Tomorrow you’ll see what a real star looks like over an amateur. I’ve been the lead in three plays, you know. I know how to act.”

“Perfect,” Packard said. “I look forward to seeing your performance.” He walked up and shook Mr. Brinkmeijer’s hand vigorously. “Your daughter is going to be amazing, sir. We’re going to make a lot of money together. A lot of money.”

“Well, now. It’s not really the money we’re after. My sweet little Anna has talent, sir. She deserves to be in spotlights.”

“And to have her legs wrapped around her daddy’s waist, no doubt,” Packard added, ribbing him mildly in the gut.

“I, uh, well now. Mr. Packard...”

“Packard is my first name. Just call me Pack.”

“Well, uh ... Pack. I, uh...” he said, his face getting a little flush. “Well, if she needs a costar, I guess I wouldn’t deny her this opportunity.”

“You mean, I’m gonna have to have sex with my dad?” Anna asked with a weird expression on her face.

“If you want to make the big time in this business? Yeah,” Packard said bluntly. “You did say that you could outperform Phoebe here, didn’t you?” he asked her.

“Her? Definitely. Whatever she can do, I can do better.”

“Well, now, sweetie, once you and your father are gone, Phoebe and her father are about to have sex on camera. She’s willing to do whatever it takes for stardom. Are you?”

She looked up at her dad. “Kind of gross, but if that’s what I have to do, I guess I could do it.”

“Wonderful. It’s settled then,” Packard said, placing his hand on Anna’s back and ushering her toward the steps leading to the first floor. “Now why don’t you and your daddy go home and have yourselves a little dress rehearsal, that way you won’t look awkward on camera tomorrow.”

“Dress rehearsal? You mean...”

“That’s exactly what I mean, hon. Practice makes perfect, ya know.”

“Fine,” she said. “God. What a star must go through to attain fame. I can’t believe I gotta fuck my own dad.” She started her way up the stairs, stomping her way up like the pouting brat her father most certainly turned her into.

“Um, thank you,” Mr. Brinkmeijer said with a little hurt in his eyes. He no doubt would have like to see a little more enthusiasm from his daughter, but I was pretty sure her attitude wouldn’t stop him from getting what he wanted from her.

“Can we tell mom about my becoming a star now, dad?” she asked as she rounded the corner into Packard’s kitchen.

“I don’t think she’d understand, hon,” her father replied. “I certainly don’t think she’d approve of us practicing.”

“Oh, dad. You know she’d just be jealous because I can do it better than she does. God ... I bet she won’t even suck your dick.”

“Does that mean you will,” he asked, their voices beginning to trail off.

“I have to if I want to outperform miss perfect down there.”

The moment they were out of earshot, the rest of us burst into laughter.

“God, is that girl a spoiled little brat,” Packard said, getting it off his chest.

“I was thinking the same thing.” I shook my head. “When I first saw her, I thought she looked so sweet and innocent.”

“Yeah. Me too,” he said. “God, were we wrong about that. I couldn’t wait to get that girl outta here. Once she started opening her mouth, I wanted to cram a sock in it and shut her up again.”

2

With the Brinkmeijer’s out of the picture, it was finally time to get back to business. Packard and I brought the couch back over to its normal set, but he stretched a green screen down before we put in place. He set up the camera and adjust the lights, and for the first time, I realized why the stands of his lights were painted green. It was so he could take them out when shooting film.

“Okay, so,” Packard said. “We don’t have to worry about being brilliant actors and actresses for this, but it doesn’t hurt to appear as naturally as possible. We’ll go ahead and use Phoebe’s idea for this scene. Dad, you’ll come in first and announce that you’re home from work. Then, Phoebe can come in and put her evil plan to seduce you into touching her into effect. Just improvise. If it isn’t coming off the way we want it to, I’ll say cut and we can start again. No biggie if we don’t get it right on the first take. Just relax and pretend that you’re a normal family.”

“You mean, we’re not a normal family?” I joked.

He shrugged. “Not really, no. If what you two wanted to do was normal, most people would be born with two noses or three hands.” He gave me a serious look. “I don’t recommend inbreeding. Sex with each other is one thing, but seriously ... try not to get her pregnant.”

 
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