One Thousand Apologies
Chapter 1

Copyright© 2016 by Joe Long

Coming of Age Sex Story: Chapter 1 - I was a nineteen year old virgin when I met my first love - she was my fourteen year old cousin.

Caution: This Coming of Age Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma/ft   Teenagers   Consensual   Romantic   Heterosexual   Fiction   Tear Jerker   Sports   Incest   Cousins   First   Safe Sex   Oral Sex   Masturbation   Petting   Cream Pie   Small Breasts   Slow  

Really, what did I have to complain about? I put the novel down on the stand beside my bed and thought about it. The girl in the book grew up dirt poor in the Deep South. We were rich enough - three bedrooms (even if one was made into a family room) and two cars. Even had a second TV, one of those little black-and-white ones, in the kitchen. Dad gave us a good life in the suburbs, better than he had growing up on a farm or Mom as a coal miner’s daughter – but most of the kids I knew were eager to get the hell out.

It was a dirty, dingy, dying steel town, like several in the valleys surrounding Pittsburgh – but for me, it was home. It was terrifying to picture myself anywhere else - all on my own, not knowing anyone. On the other hand, how could I stay in a place with twenty-five percent unemployment? I’d barely made it through two years of college while living at home and driving to the branch campus on the other side of town. In another two years I’d be out on my own regardless.

I looked at the calendar on the wall. Friday, July 20, 1979. Six weeks until school started again. Six months until a new decade, just over a year until I could vote for president for the first time. The day itself meant nothing to me. I grabbed a sock off the floor, balled it up, and fired it at the calendar.

The door opened and Dad’s head popped in. “If you’re looking for something productive to do, the lawn needs mowed.”

I sighed. “Yeah, okay, when do you...”

“Now!”

“I’m coming.”

He could’ve been harsher, like when he’d say, ‘Find a job yet?’ or ‘What kind of grades are these?’ but I’d learned a long time before to never talk back or say anything bad about my father. A downside of being an only child was not having anyone else to vent to. Also - no one else to do the chores.

I retrieved the sock from the other side of the room and found the matching one on the desk. After grabbing my tennis shoes from under the bed I was on my way to the garage.

He still hadn’t thought it necessary to invest in any kind of power mower. Regardless of how hot it might be I needed to keep the push mower moving at a sufficient speed to keep the spiral blades spinning fast enough to chop the grass. Fortunately for me the yard wasn’t very big. The house and garage filled the long and narrow lot side-to-side, leaving three chunks of grass to attend to.

An hour later, having finished the lawn, I didn’t want to read anymore. I couldn’t sit still, cooped up in my room. I had to do something – but little satisfied me.

Heading out the door, keys in hand, my mother called out after me, “Joe Long – just where do you think you’re going?”

“Oh, sorry Mom - bowling alley. Won’t be long.”

I could hear her sigh as the door closed behind me. “Supper’s in an hour. Don’t be late.”

The pinball machines suddenly sounded exciting and I didn’t have the patience to walk. Five minutes later I’d parked and headed inside, looking for an empty machine. Amy was there with another girl. She was always there. I swear she lived at those alleys. She looked over and sort of smiled. I muttered, “Hey” and stared for a second. I wanted to say more, but, as always, the words never formed.

‘Eh – maybe next time.’

‘How long are you gonna keep telling yourself that?’

She turned away, back to her friend and whatever they were talking about.

Once a machine became available, without a word and without paying much attention to anyone around me, I dropped a quarter in the slot and pressed the button on the front panel to start a new game. Mata Hari. Exotic dancer turned German spy and executed after the war. The game depicted her in a traditional Hindu outfit, with flowing robes from the waist down and a bikini type top, laying seductively on her side.

The silver metal ball was released and I pulled back gently on the plunger. The impact drove the ball at medium speed up the chute and into the play area. Bing-bing-bing-bing, my gentle nudges helped the ball shoot back and forth before it escaped the baffles and rolled unobstructed down the middle of the board. My middle finger flicked the button which commanded the flipper, driving the ball back up the board.

Left, right, up, down, fast, slow.

I knocked down a bank of targets to have them pop up again. I kept the ball moving well, but eventually and invariably the ball would find its way to a dead spot and leave the game.

Sometimes it was bad luck, sometimes bad play, the latter of which was becoming increasingly frequent as time went by. I only had one more quarter.

I’d bested it for a while, but the machine endured. You only get to play until you’ve used up the allocated number of failures. Then it was done and gone, just a memory.

At least I had baseball. The Pirates were on at seven-thirty and were only two and a half games out of first, having won four straight and eight of nine - but I’d miss some of it as I had to be down at the stadium at six for my own collegiate summer league game, hoping the coach would let me play.

Right after it started I was in my usual spot on the bench in the bullpen, back against the fence that ran the length of the walkway in front of the stands. It offered a good view of the young ladies making their way from their seats to the restrooms and concession stands, then back again.

In the third inning I tapped my teammate Randy on the arm. “Whoa dude, look at this one coming.”

He glanced over and said, “Oh damn. That’s Patty.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Yeah? Do you know her?”

“From school. Why don’t you ask her out, instead of just gawking?”

I looked down and kicked at the dirt. “I don’t know...”

“Hell, I’ll introduce you.”

“It’s just...”

“Bullshit. Are you just going to do the five knuckle shuffle every night or...”

“Up yours!” I cut him off indignantly.

“Don’t you mean you want it ‘up hers’?” He leaned in closer, slowly pistoning his fist in front of his chest. “Just look me in the eye and tell me you don’t do it.”

I drew in a deep breath but without a word let the air slide back out over my lips. Turning my eyes to the middle of the diamond, I yelled, “C’mon Jim - strike him out!”


Around ten the next morning I walked into the kitchen in time to hear my dad ask Mom, “Was that your sister Janet?” as she hung up the phone.

“Yep, all of them will be over in half an hour or so”she replied with a smile.

I grinned in anticipation. “About time we got to see them, it’s been over a month since they moved back from Texas.”

Dad, however, frowned. “Not like they were in our backyard - at least until now. No way I was driving nearly a hundred miles each way to sit and gab for a few hours.” He turned back to Mom. “How many husbands is this for her?”

“Well, let me...”

I cut her off. “Two, actually. She married the first one, Dave’s dad, but not Hannah’s or Donna’s.”

They both stared at me and Dad snapped, “That was rude. Your mother was talking.”

I looked down and shuffled my feet. “I’m sorry. I just remember yunz talking about it.”

Dad stared into space for a moment then said to Mom, “Yeah, I remember that winner. Thought he was all hot shit with his red Camaro. You say this one’s a real estate agent?”

Mom nodded. “That’s the story. Not long after she and the kids moved in with Dad he had her out looking for a house. Apparently she hooked up with a realtor in more ways than one – and now she’s living in his house.”

“I think I was only like thirteen last time they came to a reunion - yeah, that’s right - six years ago, the summer Pete Rose beat out Willie Stargell for the M.V.P.”

Dad looked me over and shook his head. “Well, if you want to see them this time you better go get presentable. Throw on a pair of pants for starters ... then shave or something?”


My neck was still stinging from razor burns when I saw a BMW pulling into the driveway. Moments later the women were already hugging as my aunt said, “Oh Meredith, it’s been too long!”

Then she turned and wrapped her arms around me, “And my favorite nephew...” I had to admit that Aunt Janet still looked (and felt) pretty good, even at thirty-six.

Her new husband looked to be about fifty as I watched him greet my father. “Michael Roudabush - pleased to meet you.”

“Michael - I’m Chris Long.”

“Oh, call me Mickey - I’ve heard a lot about your family.”

“And I’ve seen your face on billboards for a long time” my dad chuckled.

Mickey smiled warmly. “What do you again?”

“Teach algebra and calculus to the little brats out at the high school.”

As he and Dad continued to talk, my attention was drawn to the kids jumping out of the back seat - first Dave, hard to miss at well over six feet, then ... then...

‘Ho. Lee. Shit. Is that Hannah?’

I felt like a force field had passed through my body, leaving me a little dizzy.

Those big, round, brown eyes, with light brown hair that flowed over her shoulders and a gorgeous smile with her pearly whites framed by oh so pink lips. A quick glance down saw that although her boobs were small she had perfectly tanned and toned thighs. But it was her eyes - her eyes and her smile - that had me transfixed. I found myself getting hard just looking at that smile.

‘She’s your cousin!’

“Hey man, how are you doing?” Dave’s words broke me out of my trance as he shook my hand. “Looks like we’re going to be neighbors!”

“Oh, yeah, hi - you gonna play ball this summer?”

“I really want to. I know you guys already started, but it would be great if you could help me schedule some tryouts.”

“Yeah, um ... we’re more than halfway through the season, but I’ll see what I can do.” My mind was still reeling from seeing Hannah again after so long.

She greeted my parents quickly before pushing in next to Dave to join our group. She reached out her hand, and instead of shaking I lightly held it in mine as our eyes met. It was soft, warm and dry. “Wow Hannah, you’ve, um ... grown so much since the last time I saw you.” My chest tightened and I once again felt a tingling sensation sweep my body.

She blushed slightly and then smirked. “Well, looks like you’ve grown up too, Joe.”

‘Five-one?’ I thought as I realized her head could probably fit under my chin. “So how old are you now?”

“Almost fifteen” she replied confidently. “I’ll be going to ninth grade in the fall.”

‘Damn.’ If I didn’t know better, I’d’ve sworn she was at least sixteen.

Her mother chimed in with a smile, “Oh, you got another four months ‘til your birthday!” Turning back to my mother, she continued. “Kids, they want to grow up so fast these days!”

I just smiled at my aunt, then Hannah leaned close to me and whispered with a mischievous glint in her eye, “I am grown up!”

I chuckled but decided to leave that one alone. “I’m going to be a junior in college. Your school’s right acrossed the street from mine!”

“Nice!” Hannah exclaimed.

Then her little sister Donna, two years younger than her, hit me playfully on the arm. “Hey, Joe.”

She was actually a little taller than Hannah, an okay face, almost no boobs and a decent amount of baby fat lower down below - not that I was looking.

“Hey Donna”.

‘That was ... weird’ I thought to myself.

After a few more minutes of idle chit-chat, my heart was pounding out of my chest. I asked to be excused and headed into the house. Checking that I wasn’t being followed, I bolted up the stairs to my room. Once there, I went to the front window and peeked through a space between the drapes, being careful not to be seen.

I watched her smile and laugh as she continued talking to my family and hers.

‘I can’t believe how beautiful she is.’

‘Ten, eleven... ‘

‘That face – and oh my God that ass!’

‘Twenty-two, twenty-three... ‘

I closed my eyes, squeezed tighter, and imagined her smiling up at me...

“thirty ... three ... thir ... TY ... FOUR!”

My body stiffened and shook for what must have been ten seconds as I felt the warmth running over the back of my hand.

‘Well, that didn’t take long.’

I heard the front door close and had to stumble around for a Kleenex while my pants were still around my knees.

“Nineteen years old and still a goddamn virgin” I muttered to myself.

Mom called out, “Joe, come on down for lunch!”

I quickly rearranged myself, slipped into the bathroom where I disposed of my goods down the toilet, then headed downstairs. When I got to the kitchen Mom asked, “Are you alright honey? You look a little flushed.”

“Nah, I’m fine, just a little hot out.”

The dining room table was adorned with an array of sandwich fixings and refreshing drinks, courtesy of Mom. With enough meat and cheese for two, I made my way to the living room where Dad was eagerly showing off his impressive gun collection to Mickey.

Dave followed behind me and joined me on the couch as I motioned for him to sit. “So, you follow the Pirates?” I asked, trying to restart our conversation.

“Yeah, ever since we moved back. San Antonio’s got a minor league team so the best I could do there was read the box scores in the paper. But I want to hear about you - what position do you play?”

I could hear the muffled chatter of the women in the kitchen and guessed that Hannah was still in there with them “Pitcher - I’m not too bad, and I get some time in the outfield - but I’ve been hitting for crap lately.”

“How hard do you throw?”

I could see Hannah at the dining room table getting her food.

‘Don’t stare - only a second or two.’

“I dunno, probably in the top ten, but I gotta throw more strikes. I know there’s not much pro potential for a guy who’s five-nine and can’t make his college team.”

“Well, I’ve got about seven inches on you,” Dave joked. “I’m hoping I can get a scholarship somewhere a year from now. Good lefties don’t grow on trees, you know!”

Hannah and both our moms were moving towards the chairs by the fireplace.

‘Don’t turn your head, just sweep the room when there’s movement.’

“We only have three weeks left to play for this summer before the playoffs. Games are at six Monday through Friday, with makeups on the weekends - and there’s usually a double-header at the stadium downtown.”

Hannah’s thigh was in my plain view as her brother said, “Doesn’t give me long to line up a girlfriend!”

“What?” You’re already looking for a girlfriend?” I asked incredulously.

“Well, I don’t want to go home alone after the games!” he replied with a shrug.

As I chuckled, I couldn’t help but steal another glance at Hannah, stretching her t-shirt tight acrossed her chest. Blowing my load had helped to let off some of my steam, but that was not the time for me to have another erection, surrounded by family. Thinking of that, I realized how much Hannah looked like my mother. There were some features many of the Mathiesen women shared, and I found myself trying to imagine what my mom would have looked like twenty-five years ago.

“Earth to Joe?” I heard Dave call out.

I stammered, “Wait, I’m sorry ... what?” as I tried to recall my conversation with Dave.

“You seem to be really lost in space today. I was asking if you have a girlfriend?”

I squirmed and mumbled awkwardly, “Uh, well ... no...”

He leaned close and whispered, “What’s the matter, you gay?”

I shook my head vigorously. “Oh hell no ... it’s just, well, I get so nervous around girls. It’s like ... this isn’t easy...” I ran my hand through my hair. “Do you know what it’s like to want something so bad, but be so afraid to try? Afraid of being shut down?”

“Nope,” Dave replied nonchalantly.

“Dammit!” I muttered under my breath. “You’re no help.”

He playfully slapped me on the arm. “Don’t worry cuz. No problems here. Just stick with me - I’ll get you hooked up.”

“Uh – okay.”

An hour later, our guests started to prepare for their departure. Mom, Dad and I stood in line in the driveway, reversing the earlier process of greeting.

I shook Mickey’s hand with a firm grip, letting him know I’d look forward to seeing him again. Next, Aunt Janet kissed me on the cheek. A fist bump with Dave, and a “See ya” to Donna.

Hannah hugged my mother briefly, then turned to face me, our eyes scanning each other from head to toe. After that momentary pause, she extended her arms in invitation, and I stepped forward eagerly to wrap mine around her.

Not too tightly, but our bodies were close enough to feel the warmth radiating off of each other. The scent of strawberries wafted up from her hair as goose bumps swept my body.

I squeezed then released her, stepping back to see her smiling at me. I grinned awkwardly and stared as she walked away.

As their car disappeared down the street, Dad turned to Mom and asked, “Seems like a nice guy. Wonder how long he’ll be around?”

Mom arched an eyebrow and responded sarcastically, “I wonder how many blow jobs it took to get that ring so quickly. She never did marry Tom.”

My head snapped back and forth between them before I finally asked my mother in disbelief, “How can you say that about your sister?”

Mom simply shrugged and replied nonchalantly, “She’s always had a problem hanging on to a guy - three kids, three different last names?”

“But she was with Tom for over ten years. It wasn’t her fault he died!” I replied angrily.

“Shacking up with a man thirty years older than her didn’t help any” Mom retorted snidely. “Look, I love my sister, but she’s only known this guy a month or two and she’s already said ‘I do’ and hauled her kids into his house.”

Dad chimed in, “Son, your grandparents had such high hopes for Janet. She had good grades and was headed to college - but she was also boy crazy and ended up dropping out her senior year when she got knocked up with Dave.”

I argued back, “Well, Mom did go to college, at least until she got pregnant with me, so what’s the difference?”

Mom’s face turned red with anger, causing Dad to snap, “Boy, don’t you have something to do in your room?”

I stammered out, “Yeah ... uh ... I’ll find something.”

That night I laid in bed and stared at the ceiling as the radio played the rock station out of Chicago at a very low volume. I muttered to myself in frustration, “Dammit - I finally say more than two words to a hot girl and she has to be my cousin.” I reached for the Kleenexes.


Dave called just before I was leaving for my game on Monday. “Hey, I got signed up by Coca-Cola.”

“Congrats!” I replied. “That figures, as last place has first choice in waiver picks.”

“You know it,” Dave boasted. “With me around they won’t stay in the cellar for long.”

“Ha! I see you have a high opinion of yourself.”

“Well, Pepsi can’t stay ahead of Coke forever,” he quipped.

I chuckled. “Hey, Pepsi is definitely better than Coke and we’re making the playoffs this year. Might even get to the tourney.”

“Yeah, that would be cool ... hey, Mom wants to talk to you.”

“Okay, put her on” I said.

My aunt sounded anxious as she said, “Joe? Hey, um, Dave’s first game is the late one tomorrow down at the stadium. I can take him and the girls there but can’t stay until his is over ‘cause I gotta get to work. Could you give them a ride back to the house afterwards?”

“Yeah, no problem. I’ll come over as soon as my game is done.”

Turns out I didn’t play either night, and on Tuesday I was still in uniform when I got downtown to the stadium. It was almost eight-thirty and Dave’s game was in the second inning.

My aunt’s face lit up with a warm smile when she saw me approach. “Hey Joe, thanks for coming. I gotta run, but here’s ten dollars in case the girls want anything.” Turning to her daughters, she continued, “you be good for Joe. Bye!”, then gave me yet another kiss on the cheek on her way past. It was hard not to give a glance as she walked away.

As I dropped myself into the first-row seat beside Hannah, she gave me an irritated glare and snapped, “What, are you going to be our baby-sitter now?”

“C’mon, lighten up, I’m just here to give you a ride home after I make sure you don’t get kidnapped or anything. It’ll give us a chance to get to know each other.” I was seriously hoping she wouldn’t give me a hard time, as it would be our first opportunity to talk.

Donna had other ideas than hanging with us. “Hey, not that y’all are boring or anything, but I want to go wander around. Can you give me a couple bucks?”

I thought she was working the piggy bank awfully quick, but I didn’t mind seeing her go. “Yeah, sure thing Donna, bye - just don’t leave the stadium!”

She looked back over her shoulder and said, “Thanks, come get me if I’m not back when it’s time to go.”

“Like I’m going to know where you are!”

With my wallet in hand, Hannah took the opportunity to ask, “Joe, will you get me a couple wieners and a soda?”

“Okay, sure thing, I’ll be back in a few minutes, if there’s no line.” I took a step but then froze and turned back to her. “But if you’re going to be a real yinzer, you need to know that’s a couple hot dogs and some pop.”

“Oh - Same difference! And mustard and onions, if you can!”

As I smiled and left, I found myself thinking,

‘You going for that or what?’

‘Like my cousin is gonna get naked with me.’

‘You know you want it.’

‘Shut up.’

I returned about five minutes later to see Hannah intently watching the game. I sat back down beside her and presented the food order, which included some fries for myself.

Grabbing one of my fries, she waved towards the field and asked, “Do you know all these guys?”

“I know most of their names, and I’m friends with quite a few of them.” I leaned back in my seat, taking my own nibble of a fry. “We come from over ten different high schools in the area, and more than half of us are in college now. Summers are our chance to catch up and hang out together.”

Will Martin was the first batter in the fourth and was out taking his practice swings in the on deck circle, not ten feet from us. As I dipped a fry in the ketchup, Hannah leaned in to whisper, “What’s his name? He’s got a nice butt!”

Slightly shocked and embarrassed, I whispered back, “Shhh, he can hear you!”

“So what?” she replied with a mischievous glint in her eye.

I rolled my eyes and replied, “So – he’s twenty years old!”

Hannah scoffed and retorted, “And what am I, a baby?”

“No! It’s just...” I stumbled over my words before finally admitting, “You know what I mean.”

She scrunched up her face and gave me a stare. “Yeah, you’re an old fuddy duddy. I just like to say what I think - lighten up!”

She didn’t say anything else for a few minutes, munching on her dog until I reached over to wipe some mustard off the corner of her mouth. She turned to stare at me, broke into a grin, then grabbed for my bag of fries - which led to a playful little hand battle as I tried to bat her prying fingers away from my food.

As this was going on, and into the chit-chat that followed, several of the players shot us glances as they waited in the on-deck circle for their turn at bat.

Hannah eventually noticed their attention and asked curiously, “Why are they looking over here?”

“Because I’m sitting with a girl and talking to her.”

She looked genuinely confused. “Is that something unusual?”

“Well...” I shrugged, “I haven’t had too much luck with girls yet.”

“You’re a good looking guy, what’s the matter?”

I let out a sigh, looked down at the concrete floor and kicked some pebbles. “I get scared around girls, afraid to do the wrong thing and have them hate me. It’s been getting better, but it’s still something I struggle with.”

“You’re doing fine talking to me,” she reassured me with a warm smile.

I couldn’t deny that. Despite a few ups and downs, I had been quite at ease with her. “You’re right, but ... you’re my cousin, so I’m not trying to hit on you.”

She leaned towards me and playfully rubbed her left hand over my chest. “They don’t have to know that. What if I give you a big sloppy wet kiss? Will that help your reputation?”

The warmth of her hand on my breast, her palm rubbing over my nipple. Her touch sent a shiver down my spine.

‘Oh my God, was she just teasing me?’

My breath got a little short and I felt some stirring down below. “I’m sure it would” I gulped.

But then she suddenly pulled back, her face filled with shock. “Wait, so you’re just sitting with me to improve your reputation?”

“No, that’s not what I meant!”

She punched me in the left arm and said, “Take a chill pill, I was teasing – so what have you been doing to get more comfortable around girls?”

I swore the girl was going to kill me. “Well, my mom got a CB radio for the car last year.”

“And how does that help?”

I took a deep breath before answering, recalling the explanation I had given many times before. “Normally someone sees a girl, or a guy, and if there’s a physical attraction, you have to figure out how to go talk to them without scaring them off. On the radio, you talk first, find out who’s a nice person, then arrange a meet up to see what they look like. Then you can either ask them out or continue being friends.”

She nodded in understanding. “Does it work?”

“Definitely. It’s so much easier to just be myself, and learn to like girls for who they are, not just what they look like.”

Hannah struck a playful pose and teased, “That’s a good thing - we are much more than just our good looks! So, what’s your handle?”

“Spock.”

She looked clueless. “What’s Spock?”

I couldn’t believe it. “Really? Mr. Spock, the science officer of the Starship Enterprise?” Her blank expression remained. I continued, “Star Trek, with Captain Kirk.”

“Oh, Star Track? That Saturday morning cartoon?”

Exasperated, I buried my face in my hands and shook my head in disbelief. As I looked up again, she met my gaze with curiosity as I explained, “NOOOO! It was a TV show, from sixty-six to sixty-nine, with Kirk, Spock, Dr. McCoy, Scotty, Sulu...”

“I was like born in sixty-four, you expect me to remember that?”

She had me there. I was seven when the show started, while she was still in diapers. “Yeah, that would be a problem. But they’re coming out with a movie in December! I can’t wait to see it.”

“I’ve seen Star Wars!” Hannah exclaimed proudly.

“Not the same thing!” I retorted. The girl was going to need some re-education.

“Okay, fine. So why are you Spock?”

“He’s the science officer, the smartest guy, no emotion...”

But before I could continue, a voice called out from inside the press box, “and he’s the one who never got laid!”

I shot back, “That’s not true, there was that cave woman on the ice planet!”

Hannah gave me an incredulous look. “And this is the show you drool over?”

I couldn’t help but grin at her reaction. “You’d like it if you saw it.”

“And who was that yelling at you?”

I rolled my eyes. “My so-called friend Paul, he loves to give me shit.”

She narrowed her eyes and gave me a little stare, then returned to normal. “Can you get me some ice cream?”

“Yeah, sure thing.” A few minutes later I was jogging down the concourse, trying to get the Klondike bar to her before it started melting inside the chocolate.

As she peeled back the foil wrapper, Hannah continued with the interview. “Okay Spock, what are you taking in college?”

I appreciated that she was taking charge of the conversation. I didn’t have to contrive any witty banter and could just lean back and share my life story, as boring as that was. “Math and computer science, and I’ve taken a few econ courses as well.”

“And what kind of grades do you get?” She asked casually.

Dammit, why did she have to bring that up?. “Well, uh - not great. I have a one point eight GPA.”

Her eyes widened in surprise. “One point eight? That’s a D, right? I thought you were the brainiac? Mom’s always saying how smart Joe is, Joe this, Joe that - and you have a one point eight GPA?”

Ouch, that hurt. “Math is fucking hard!”

“LAN-GUAGE!” Hannah scolded with a serious expression.

Still feeling hurt, I shot back, “Now who’s being the babysitter?”

She softened her tone and gave me a more serious look. “Well, sorry about being snippy before with the babysitter crack, but I just don’t like anyone telling me what to do. And I don’t like people swearing.”

I couldn’t resist being sarcastic. “Oh, forgive me, your Royal Highness!”

Hannah burst out laughing. “Now you’ve got it! Just remember that, and we’ll get along fine!”

That cracked me up as well, and broke the tension as we laughed together.

But then she continued - “Back to where we were – what’s so hard about math?”

I glanced away for a moment before sighing and responding “I did pretty good in high school, A’s and B’s, even took calculus in twelfth grade. I was always playing with numbers, so I thought that was what I was good at. Then I get to college and math majors not only have to know the rules, like to get the mean of a set of numbers, you add them up and divided by how many...”

“Well any idiot knows that!” she interrupted.

“ ... but they want math majors to be able to prove it! There might be three questions on a test. Don’t do homework for a night, forget your book, forget your calculator, and you’re screwed. That’s just not how I work.” I got enough of my failures from my dad and decided I’d rather talk about her. “So what did you get in math?”

“I got an A” she said proudly. “And an A in History, and an A in English. In fact, I’ve had straight A’s since Third grade!”

My mind was reeling - this was not what I had expected at all.

Hannah suddenly broke out in this little victory dance, swaying her hips and shoulders side to side, hands pointing to the sky, as she called out “Woot, woot, I’m smarter than the brain!”

Her Klondike bar had been forgotten in the heat, with sticky drops flying around as she waved her hands in dance. Realizing the mess, Hannah shoved the remains of her ice cream towards me. “Here, eat this!”

The guys around us were quickly doubled over in laughter.

Taking what remained of the Klondike from her as carefully as I could, I had to ask, “How can you eat all that stuff? Keep it up and you’ll look like a whale!”

“You calling me a whale?” Hannah challenged playfully.

“No, I, uh...”

“I have you know I run track to keep this figure, and I throw the discus and shot put as well” she declared proudly, striking a pose and running a hand down her toned thigh.

My eyes followed her hand down and then back up her legs, lingering for a moment at her shapely backside.

“Are you lookin’ at my butt?”

I tripped over my tongue, feeling like a deer in the headlights. Why did she seem to delight in torturing me?

With an evil grin, she reached out and pinched my cheek. “Oh, you’re so cute when you don’t know what to say. I have the smart guy speechless!”

Her touch sent a jolt through me, but I saw an opportunity and quickly retaliated by poking her side. She doubled over with laughter, trying to escape my fingers.

But I was not done yet. I leaned closer, my hands working on her waist. “Oh, someone’s ticklish. I’ll have to remember that.” My heart raced as I touched her body, already growing aroused.

Hannah broke free and playfully threatened me with her finger. “Oh, don’t you dare, I can kick your butt too!”

Standing tall, I countered with confidence, “Oh yeah? I’ve got over six inches on you.”

She challenged me with a sly smile. “You have to catch me first.”

“What is it, are you going to run or fight?” I joked.

“I’ll do whatever I want!”

Her playful attitude only made it more fun.

“Ahem. Hey guys” We both looked up to see Dave standing on the other side of the screen, a bat in his hand. “In case you two are still interested in baseball, I’m going in to pinch hit.”

We both chuckled and settled back in our seats, facing the field once again. As discreetly as possible, I adjusted near my pocket to hide the growing bulge in my pants. I couldn’t be sure if Hannah had noticed, but her gaze seemed to linger on me for a moment before returning to the game.

Paul’s voice boomed over the stadium P.A., “Now pinch hitting for Coca-Cola, number thirty-seven, Dave Carter”, as Hannah and I joined in the light applause.

Hannah sprang to her feet as she shouted encouragements, “c’mon Dave, rip this guy!”

Up to that point, I had been paying very little attention to the game. It was the bottom of the fifth, Coke had runners on first and second with two outs, but Sheraton was ahead three to two.

Dave settled into the left-handed batter’s box, swung the bat a couple times over the plate, and awaited the first pitch. It was a curve from the right-handed pitcher that looked outside, but the umpire called it a strike.

“Get a clue, ump!” yelled an exasperated voice beside me. I couldn’t believe how invested Hannah was in her brother’s game.

The next pitch was again a curve but caught too much of the plate. Dave reached out and lined it over the first baseman’s head. The ball rolled down into the corner, and with two outs both runners scored easily. Dave stood at second base with Coke now ahead four to three.

Hannah had squeezed past me and was in the aisle, yelling “Woo, woo, way to go Dave” as she bounced up and down on the steps, hands held high. My eyes were focused on other things that were bouncing up and down.

The next batter bounced back to the pitcher to end the inning, and one of his teammates took Dave’s first base glove out to him, waiting near the bag to play defense in the next half inning.

I took advantage of the break in our conversation to ask Hannah “C’mon into the press box, I want you to meet my friend Paul, we’ve been tight since like kindergarten.”

As we walked through the door, Paul’s voice filled the small room. “Petey! Who’s your girlfriend?”

“She’s my cousin.”

Paul was relentless. “Sarcasm detector broken? I knew she wasn’t your girlfriend.”

“Remind me why we’re friends? And look who’s talking, Paul.”

“I’m still looking for a nice Jewish girl.”

Still standing beside me, Hannah gave me a poke. “Who’s Petey?”

“Me. Joseph Peter Long, and Paul seems to think the ‘Peter Long’ part of that is hilarious, and just likes to constantly call attention to it. He really can be a pain in the ass sometimes.”

Hannah got a big grin and joked, “It’s not like your name is Dick Head or Harry Dick or something! Now that would be bad.” That got everyone in the press box laughing.

“Well, anyways” I continued. “Paul, this is my cousin Hannah, she’s Dave Carter’s sister, the guy who just got that hit for Coke. They’ve been out in Texas for a few years and just moved here. She’s got another younger sister who’s around here somewhere. They like to come to the games, and I’ve been hanging out with them, catching up on lost time.”

Hannah chimed in, “And now my mom has him playing babysitter me!

Paul looked Hannah up and down before teasingly commenting, “Looks like you’re old enough to take care of yourself.”

Hannah poked an elbow in my ribs as she answered, “That’s what I told him.”

Paul had the Pirates’ game on his transistor radio, setting on the counter and playing at a medium volume. I guided Hannah into a folding chair that looked out through the plexiglass onto the playing field. I then took the seat to her left, on the other side of her from Paul.

A couple minutes later Paul took a phone call. From hearing his end of the conversation he wasn’t quite happy with what he heard and was brooding afterwards as he worked the scoreboard and announced the batters.

On the radio, the Pirates were hosting Cincinnati and were trailing by a run in the top of the seventh. Upon hearing the call of Ken Griffey’s homer for the Reds, Paul banged the counter and yelled “son of a bitch!”

After about ten seconds of silence, Hannah looked over at Paul and said, “Wow, you look like you need a blow job!”

Paul’s eyes widened in shock as he nearly toppled out of his chair. “Whoa!” he shouted in disbelief, struggling to regain his balance. “Petey!”

I was just as stunned. “What?” I exclaimed.

Picking himself up, Paul said, “You’re the one who brought her!”

Hannah just stared at him as the tears formed in her eyes, then she turned and ran out the door, stopping on the stairs just outside where we had been sitting. I chased after her but she pushed me away and refused any attempts to comfort or talk to her.

I was furious. “Paul, get the hell out here and apologize to her!”

He emerged from the press box with a genuine look of concern on his face. “Hey, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything. Joe will tell ya, I like to joke around and rag on people, and you just totally caught me off guard with that.”

Hannah sniffled and wiped her eye. She slowly looked up at me then turned her head to Paul. Hesitantly, she spoke in a small voice, “Oh. Kay. I didn’t expect you to get angry.”

Paul replied, “Honest, I wasn’t angry, just surprised.”

Trying to comfort her, I slid my hand over her shoulder and said, “Game’s almost over, let’s walk down by Dave’s dugout so we can get him and Donna and I’ll take you guys home.”

On the highway back to their house, Dave did most of the talking, bragging about his game and I filled him in on the Pirates’ loss. Hannah was generally quiet, but let Dave know that she and I had a good long talk to get to know each other. “I have lots of things to tell you when we get home!”

After pulling in their driveway I got out of the car with them. Hannah came over and gave me a hug. “Thanks for sticking up for me, I’m feeling better. I really did enjoy getting to talk to you tonight, especially now that I can tell mom that I’m smarter than you!” she joked playfully.

“A pleasure speaking to you too, your highness” I replied with a chuckle.

“I think ‘Princess’ will be sufficient” Hannah responded with a satisfied nod. “Yes, I am the Princess.”

She gave me a thumbs up as she headed into the house, while Dave rolled his eyes, silently mouthing “Princess.”


It was around eight the next morning when mom called upstairs, “Joe, Paul’s on the phone!”

Life as an only child allowed me some luxuries such as wearing boxers as I made my way down to the kitchen to answer the phone. “Joe, put some clothes on and come down to the playground to shoot hoops with me.”

I wasn’t much of a basketball player, as my brain was wired to throw everything like a baseball, but it was nice to have a chance to limber up in the cooler morning air. It was still only sixty-five out as I threw on some sneakers, shorts and a t-shirt and headed off to my old elementary school, midway between our houses.

He was already hitting the ball off the backboard when I got there, and without turning to look greeted me with, “So what’s up with your psycho cousin?”

Despite his smart-ass remarks, I knew I could always count on him for an honest and objective assessment of my life.

“She’s not psycho, just a little bit out-spoken, I guess” I responded as Paul passed me the ball, but my shot nearly missed the entire backboard.

“Well, I might have taken her up on that blow job, but I don’t really look good in an orange jumpsuit.”

I wondered if there was something that attracted me to out-spoken people. Maybe it was my fear of offending someone, especially an object of my affection (or should I say lust), which made me admire people who didn’t have those hang ups.

I also didn’t care for factual inaccuracies. “She didn’t say she was going to do it, just that you looked like you needed one.”

“True, I’ll have to give her credit on that”, Paul said as he hit all net.

“Don’t look at me, I’m sure as hell not going to blow you.” That time I did miss the backboard and Paul went to chase it down.

As he came back, he flashed a mischievous grin and asked, “So when are you going to tap that?”

“She’s my cousin, for Christ’s sake.”

“Oh, don’t tell me you haven’t thought of it”, Paul persisted as he gave me a hard two hand pass, and then continued “but yeah, you’re not getting anything off of her. You two look like an old married couple sitting out there. She’s got you whipped already, lover boy. You still a virgin? I think you need to let off some steam somewhere, and I’m not talking Lady Palm and her five daughters.”

I banked the shot in, my first and only of the morning. “Well, now that I scored, I’m going home to get a shower. See you later.”


We played Coke that night out at the park, with Dave getting his first start as a pitcher. Before the game I was shagging balls in left field and he came over to chat.

“Hey man, Hannah was telling me how you hook up with chicks on the C.B.”

I shook my head, laughing. “I wouldn’t call it hooking up, but yeah, you can get on the radio and see if they want you to stop by somewhere for a face to face.”

“Well, I don’t know my way around town yet, and it’s hard as hell to get a car with mom and Mickey both working – so I’m about ready to bust a nut. I haven’t been with anyone since I got here.”

I had to laugh. “Poor baby, why don’t you just go to the bathroom and take care of it yourself?”

“This dick is made for chicks, jacking off is for wimps.”

I raised an eyebrow in challenge. “I’m hitting tonight, I’ll show you who’s a wimp.”

“Oh? Where are you in the order?”

I sighed. “Ninth.”

He shook his head sympathetically. “Oh, man. I’m sorry to hear that.”

I shrugged it off. “Hey, at least I’m playing. It’s frustrating because when I first started in the league when I was sixteen I thought I was going to be a good hitter. I remember that one day during tryouts when our coach, who used to pitch in the minors and was still in his thirties, was out there firing me fastballs and I put three in a row over the left field bleachers at the old junior high field. Then right here, in batting practice before one of the games, everything I hit was on the nose. Screaming line drives. The players were laughing at the coach who was pitching for how I was showing him up.”

“So what happened?” he asked.

“That was a good team and I knew at sixteen I wasn’t going to play much, maybe once a week, but I was proud to wear the uniform and and was willing to put in my time - but then the next year Dad was on me about getting a job in a town with twenty percent unemployment and I ended up missing the whole summer. Didn’t get back ‘til last year and then my swing was shit. Everyone was throwing it by me - but at least I could still pitch.”

Dave clapped me on the back sympathetically. “That’s rough, man. But don’t expect me to go easy on you just because of that.”

I rolled my eyes. “Oh - thank you, thank you!”

He laughed. “Well anyway, how about we go cruising after the game on Friday. I play the early game at the stadium and can hang around until you’re done with the late game. Mom can take the girls home.”

I agreed. “Okay - Friday, I’ll show you the town.”

Out in left field I could see Aunt Janet, Hannah and Donna sitting in the first base bleachers, not fifteen feet from the baseline, and they all gave me excited waves as I came jogging in at the end of each of the first two innings. But as I stepped into the batter’s box for my third at-bat, their cheers turned into taunts, all in good fun of course.

Hannah’s voice boomed over the infield. “C’mon, Dave, strike the bum out!”

I looked up to give her a playful stare, but she stuck out her tongue in response. It would have added to my legend if I hadn’t swung through the high two ball, two strike fastball for strike three. I muttered, ‘Son of a bitch’ on the way back to the dugout.

I managed a walk and a grounder to short the other two times up, but Dave had a hell of a game, beating us three to one, with nine K’s in a seven-inning complete game. The game was over just after eight and I met up with the family behind the backstop.

Dave deserved his congratulations, and I said, “Great game man, but you’re lucky I didn’t take you deep!”

He just laughed and replied, “Yeah right - you’d be the lucky one.”

Hannah snuggled up beside me, and wrapped both of her hands around my right arm and looked up at me with those big, innocent puppy dog eyes. Her voice dripped with sarcasm as she cooed, “Oh, I’m so sorry for picking on you! But he is my big brother, you know? Got to stick with family.”

There were lots of fans, players and their families milling around. Anyone who saw us, and didn’t know she was my cousin, would have thought...

‘Fuck it, why do I need to tell anyone?’


Friday night I got to the stadium around seven thirty. Janet and the girls were in the bleachers watching Dave play. I sat with them as I waited for my game later, but soon my stomach growled. I stood, but stopped and turned back to them. “Hey, I’m going to the concession stand. Want anything?”

Hannah said, “No thanks, I’ll just have some of yours.”

I mockingly laughed, “Ha ha”, but when I returned with my chicken and fries I had to bat her hand away as she tried to sneak a fry from my tray. I teased her, offering a piece of food then snatching it away.

Later I said, “Aunt Janet, don’t forget that Dave is staying for my game.”

She smiled and replied, “Oh, I haven’t forgotten.”

I nodded and replied, “I’ll have him home by eleven.”

“That’s fine, but no drinking!” she reminded me sternly.

“Yes, ma’am, I understand. No drinking” I repeated dutifully.

Hannah looked dejected and chimed in, “Mom, can’t I stay and watch Joe’s game? He can bring me home too!”

I sighed, searching for words that wouldn’t offend her. “Dave and I are going to go do some guy stuff. He wanted it to be just the two of us.”

I wasn’t sure how well Aunt Janet decoded my language, but she backed me up. “C’mon honey, Joe and Aunt Meredith and Uncle Chris are coming to our pool party tomorrow, you can see all of them then.”

Despite her disappointment, Hannah nodded reluctantly and turned back to watching the game. The final inning passed by with little conversation between us.

My game started thirty minutes after Dave’s ended. I pinch-ran in the sixth and played right field for an inning. Again, not much action for me, but we won six to two, were still in second place, and looked like a lock for the playoffs.

After the game I met Dave on the concourse and we walked out to my car, where we stripped off our uniforms and got back into our street clothes. I told him about Hannah’s little snit when she was told she couldn’t stay and go out with us.

“Fuck her” he spit out in response.

Without thinking I replied, “The thought had crossed my mind.”

“Dude!”

“Hey, just saying.”

“That’s my sister.”

Once we were on the road, it took about five minutes to get to one of the middle-class neighborhoods up the valley.

“I figured if we parked here we’d be close to a lot of places to meet up” I explained to Dave. “Most of the teens hang out on channel eleven, but it can get really crowded, so if we find someone we want to talk to in private we usually switch to a less used channel.”

“Private? It’s still on the radio, so anyone can still listen in, right?”

“Well, yeah. But it’s easier to pretend it’s just between us if there aren’t tons of other people listening.”

We passed the microphone back and forth for maybe fifteen minutes when I recognized the voice of ‘Tweety Bird’, a young girl I’d talked to before.

Dave, always eager to take the lead, spoke up. “Breaker, breaker, how about that Tweety Bird.”

In her slightly deeper tone, she responded, “This is Tweety Bird.”

“Oh, this is Sylvester. How are you doing tonight, hon?” Dave said confidently.

I raised an eyebrow and silently mouthed, “Sylvester?” but he just shrugged in response.

Tweety Bird replied, “I don’t think I’ve heard you on here before, Sylvester. How did you get that handle?”

Dave chuckled. “Well, what does Sylvester always want to do to Tweety Bird?”

We heard her mike click, then a brief pause before she giggled. “So, where are you guys at?”

I leaned in closer to Dave and whispered our location. He repeated it over the radio. “We’re on DuPont Street. Is that close to you?”

“A few blocks - we?”

“Yeah, my cousin’s with me. How about we stop by?” Dave suggested smoothly.

“Uh ... okay! Sounds like fun.” She gave us directions to meet in an alley behind her apartment building by the river.

We were there in a flash and spotted the girl, maybe five-six, waiting under a streetlamp. She looked fairly nice – slender with perky boobs and a pleasant smile. When we got out, she said, “Hi, I’m Julie - got any smokes?”

I exchanged a look with Dave before shaking my head apologetically. “Sorry, no. I’m Joe. My handle’s Spock - and this is my cousin Dave.”

Julie had long, unkempt hair cascading down her shoulders and was dressed in a Led Zeppelin t-shirt and jean shorts. She leaned casually against the wall with one of her knees bent, resting her foot on the wall as well. Her eyes roamed over us curiously as she asked, “Yeah, I remember you - so how old are yunz guys?”

I said, “Nineteen, and he’s seventeen. How about you? Fourteen, right?”

Suddenly the night air was pierced with a loud cry, “HEY! Get the hell out of here! Ain’t none a’yunz going to be fucking my little sister! Git, right now, before I call the cops on yunz.”

The Amazon of an older sister didn’t have to tell us twice, as we scrambled into the car and sped down the alley, laughing in disbelief at what had just happened.

Dave was shaking his head as tried to process the bizarre encounter. “Oh my God, what the fuck was that? I thought the chick was nice but what’s with the nutjob sister?”

“I don’t know” I replied, still in shock. “I’ve talked to her on the radio but never met her before. That was quite a trip.”

After we regained our composure, we made our way back downtown as Dave resumed chatting on the radio. Before long, ‘Always Smooth’ was engaging in conversation with ‘Sunshine’, who had a sultry and alluring voice. I couldn’t help but wonder how he came up with these handles so effortlessly.

Despite the darkness that had settled outside, Sunshine invited us to her place, which was apparently located at the end of a winding dirt road that snaked its way up the side of the mountain, past the West End. I proceeded cautiously until we saw the porch light on a rather run down two-story house in the middle of the woods, leaving me to wonder why there weren’t any sluts on the C.B. from those nice middle-class neighborhoods.

As soon as I cut off the engine, we could see Miss Sunshine standing on the porch. From twenty yards, she was looking pretty good. Tall and slender with long hair, nice boobs and butt. Once she got close enough to the car, even in the dim light, it became apparent that her “perfect ten” body was accompanied by a less-than-perfect face. Missing teeth, a prominent nose, and perhaps even a wart or two marred her appearance.

Dave didn’t seem to care. He got right out and said, “Hi, I’m Dave” as they moved to the back of the car.

“Ooh, you’re cute - I’m Margie. Are you as big down there?”

Still in the driver’s seat, the moonlight allowed me to see them in the side mirror as they embraced and kissed. The next thing I knew, she was yanking down Dave’s jeans and he pressed his bare ass against the side of my car. She dropped to her knees, expertly stroking and sucking Dave’s cock until it stood at full attention. Once he was erect, I could hear her gags as Dave had his hands on her head, thrusting into her mouth. I have to confess it was getting me hard just watching.

After a few more minutes, the car started to wobble from Dave’s forceful thrusts against it. He groaned and cried out, “Oh fuck, oh fuck, drink it all bitch”, smacking his hand repeatedly on the side of my car as he shot his load down her throat.

As Dave got to pulling his pants back up, Sunshine came over to my window, leaning in and asking, “How about you?”

I tapped the corner of my mouth to indicate she still had some cum stuck to her face, and stoically replied, “Thanks, but - I don’t think so.”

As she waved and invited us back anytime, Dave got back in the passenger’s seat and I hit the ignition and started back down the mountain.

“Dude, why didn’t you want some of that? It’s been awhile since I’ve had anyone blow me that good!” Dave exclaimed.

“I just wasn’t into it, man” I replied with a shrug. “Let me tell you, this spring I was at a Friday night kegger at school, like I am most every week. I had my eyes on a couple girls, but of course my words weren’t quite smooth enough, or I waited too long, and suddenly it’s one a.m. when I feel a hand playing with the back of my thigh. The girl was big, I don’t know, huge...”

“A real porker? Are you into that?”

“Well, no - but she wanted some of me so I was like ‘what the fuck, why not?’ We went back to her room, three feet from her passed out roommate...”

“Should’ve had a threesome!”

“Nah, that chick was out of it – but anyways, this girl made quick work of getting it out of my pants and into her mouth. She was going at it, but I wanted to fuck her - you know, finally lose my virginity n’at - but when I went to pull her pants off she said she couldn’t do it without protection...”

“The bitch! Did she at least finish you?”

“Fuck no! Then it’s like three times a week I see her in one of my classes, and she’s fat, and I really don’t know her, and every time she makes some stupid liberal comment I’m thinking ‘you sucked my cock!’ I hate that. I want it to be with someone I really care about. You know, the two of us, together as one.”

“That’s why you’re still a virgin, man.”

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