Chapter 1

Katelyn

I'm sure there are a myriad of valid rationales ... both legal and practical ... regarding the justifications why you can only leave a hospital in a wheelchair; however, for me, I really would rather have been able to leave on my own power. It didn't matter I still needed to use a walker, but for me, it would have been my symbol to the world proving I'd overcome the reason for me being hospitalized in the first place.

When the wheelchair showed up in my room, rather than be happy I was finally going home, instead I 'kicked, screamed, whined and sniveled' how I wanted to leave on my own power, but of course my protests were ignored, and better minds prevailed; I was forced to ride in the wheelchair if I wanted to leave. And since my desire to leave was never the question, I shut my mouth and got in the wheelchair; unhappily of course.

The twin doors to the entrance of the lobby swished open, and my nurse, Katelyn, pushed my chair out into the gathering dusk. As the late afternoon air surrounded me, I inhaled the sweet, cool, damp air deeply and reveled in finally being outdoors. The van to transport me home was parked on the far side of the driveway, and Katelyn had to push my chair through the gently falling mist. Just before we got to the van, I asked her to stop for a moment while I looked up into the heavy, satisfying dew.

Her voice showed her concern for my wellbeing. "But you'll get wet..."

I interrupted, "I know," I paused and smiled at her before I continued with my explanation, "I just want to feel the moisture on my face."

"But..."

I cut her off again, perhaps my voice a little gruffer than I had intended, "Please Katelyn, I've been in that damn place for over two months, I want to feel the rain on my face ... please?" My last word was a whispered plea. She must have agreed, because the chair stopped for a moment and I gazed back up into the soft mist.

It is difficult to accurately describe how wonderful the cold damp felt as it settled onto my upturned face. Time stopped, and I had no idea how long I sat there; just basking in the delicious feeling of the cold wetness on my face. Finally, after all the long days of being cooped up in the hospital, I had been released; I was going home. After a while, I didn't know if the wetness on my face was rain or tears. It had been several weeks since the motorcycle accident, and this was the first time I'd been outdoors since I arrived at the hospital so long ago. It was wonderful.

Finally, Katelyn leaned over and whispered into my ear, "Come on ... let me put you in the van. I promise you, I'll see you get outside as much as possible. I do understand how you feel. For now, please let me get you home."

Grudgingly I agreed and we continued on to the waiting van. She pushed me onto the lift and the mechanism whined as it picked me up off the ground. I was pushed into place and the chair was made secure for the short ride home. Katelyn once more leaned close and asked me if I wanted her to wipe my face. I smiled at her and shook my head. There was no way I could explain why I wanted her to leave my face wet from the rain.

I must have fallen asleep on the way home, because the next time I was aware of anything happening about me I was back on the lift, and being lowered to the ground. Looking around, I comprehended where we were. During the ride Katelyn must have wiped my face because now it was dry. When the lift touched the ground I noticed it had stopped raining, and the night was turning crisp. As I exhaled, my breath became white puffs.

I was pushed around to the back door of my house where it's flat and I could enter the house through the wide sliding glass door. As we tried to enter the house, my dogs were beside themselves to see me. Both of them kept racing around my chair, stopping occasionally to receive a quick pet and then running off again to show their pleasure at dads return. Trying to enter the door and not run over any of the dog's paws was difficult for the attendants, and I kept telling the dogs to go and lay down ... all to no avail of course.

Katelyn laughed at their antics and finally asked me their names. I told her and she stooped down to try to pet them. My male seemed to realize Katelyn was somebody he needed to make friends with, while the female was her typically goof self and kept running through the house, still barking and still showing her happiness dad was finally home.

Susan, my sister, came from someplace in front of the house, approached me, gave me a quick, but firm hug, and welcomed me home. After the accident, she had moved into my house to take care of my dogs, and keep things running with my business. I knew she had put her life on hold for me, and I was so grateful. I was at a loss in trying to come up with a way to properly repay her for what she'd done so far for me. Actually, I was at a loss to come up with some way of repaying many people for their kindness over the past months, most of all, Katelyn my nurse.

From the rear entryway, I was pushed into the back room, which had been fixed up with a hospital style bed. I noticed the various pieces of new rehabilitant equipment spread about the room. Susan informed me it had been decided since I couldn't climb stairs for a while, the best solution was to make a place downstairs, and the back room was the most logical choice. It had also been decided Katelyn would stay with me for a few weeks until I was able to move around better on my own. I hadn't told Katelyn yet, but I was hopelessly in love with her and I was overjoyed she was going to be staying with me for a while.

Even though Katelyn had been assigned as my nurse, those first few days the doctors didn't know if I was going to live. When I would gain enough consciousness to know a little of what was going on around me, I distinctly remember Katelyn sitting by my bed at night. I remember being aware of her presence beside me, her sweet voice talking to me, telling me I had to get better since I'd promised her a ride on my motorcycle. I had heard when she'd whispered in my ear, "You promised ... you have to get better ... you promised me you would take me to a special island ... remember?" She thought I hadn't heard her, but I had. And, those words were what made the difference. It gave me the desire to live. I had to live. I had to get better. I had to take her over to the island.

By the time it became apparent I was going to live, then the question became how much mobility I was going to end up with. Both legs had been broken along with a few ribs, one of which had punctured my lung and another barely missed lancing my heart. I was told several times how lucky I was my arms or pelvis hadn't been broken, or crushed, and that just having a couple of fingers on my left hand busted was amazing considering how messed up the bike had been. To be honest, I was getting tired of being told how lucky I was; I wanted to be out of the hospital and home. After a while, being told I was extremely lucky just didn't cut it anymore. To my way of thinking, being lucky would have meant I wouldn't have had to go to the hospital in the first place.

It was the end of the second week, or maybe the start of the third week at the hospital, when Katelyn had entered my room and found me crying. I wasn't sobbing or anything; I just had tears running down my face. The tears were not due to the pain, but I was gloomy because I had no idea if I'd ever be able to ride again; or any idea just what the future was going to bring. I knew my bike was totaled, my business was sitting idle since I wasn't there to run it, I did not know how I was going to pay for my extended stay in the hospital and I had no idea when I might be able to leave the hospital. Basically, it was a pity party, and I was holding it for myself. The doctors were also still trying to decide if I would be able to walk again, and if I could, how much mobility I might have. I was just totally bummed out, and the fact I had tears in my eyes was a surprise to me since I thought I had a better grip on my emotions.

One of the things over the years I learned to do when I was feeling sad for myself, or if I needed to clear my mind; was to go for a ride on my bike. And now that I couldn't ride, things just seemed to come crashing down around my ears. When Katelyn saw me, she came quickly to my bed and asked if I was in pain. Embarrassed, I shook my head no.

She leaned closer and spoke softly, "If you're not in pain, what's the problem? Why the tears?"

I really wanted her just to leave the room, and let me be in peace; but I felt I owed her something and I tried to answer the question. "I'm really embarrassed you caught me crying. I'm okay now; I feel better. Please go now."

She looked at me, gave me a sweet, tender smile and as she shook her head she took a finger and wiped away the tears. "Not good enough tootsie bell ... why are you so sad?" She stood there for what seemed like a long time looking down at me. Then she gave me a cute grin. "Tell 'ya what; let's make a deal. If you'll tell me why you are so sad, I'll give you a little treat." I thought the grin she gave me after her statement was a little wicked; cute, but rather wicked.

"What treat?" I asked with suspicion.

She chortled, "First you have to tell me first what's wrong, then the treat."

I sighed, "Well, you'll laugh when I tell you," I paused, "It sounds so stupid now that I think about it; it's so dumb."

She put her hand on top of mine, her face looked serious. "Tell me ... please ... if it makes you sad, it can't be that dumb."

I sighed and tried to explain. "I was having a pity party for myself. I've no idea if I will ever be able to ride again or how long I am going to be cooped up here. In addition, I have no idea how my business is doing, or how I am ever going to recover from all of this financially. I just hate being stuck in here," Quickly, I added, "not that being here with you is bad ... but."

Katelyn touched my shoulder and her smiled warmed my soul. She replied, "Nice save!" We both laughed. "Of course you'll get out of here; you owe me a ride. You promised."

I knew I had, but I wanted to try to play stupid. "When did I do that?"

"The night they brought you in. Remember? I was in ER that night and when you saw me you asked me if I would hold your hand while you were being prepared for emergency surgery. You asked me what a foxy chick like me was doing in such a dive. I asked you what happened and you told me about your bike. Then you asked me if I would like to take a ride. I told you I would love to and you wanted to get up right then and take me. You were a bit obstinate. The shots for pain were doing their job and you didn't realize just how messed up you were." Katelyn laughed at the remembrance.

Katelyn continued, "I told you they had to do a little repair on you but you would ride again and I was going to hold you to that ride. You then made a couple of comments and then passed out from the drugs." She paused for a moment and seeing the puzzled look on my face, she asked, "You don't remember ... do you?"

I confessed, I kind of remember making the offer to give her a ride, but I didn't remember any other comments. "No ... really. That part I don't remember." I had to ask the next question, even though I felt I needed to fear her answer. "Sorry ... ah ... what comments did I make?" I was really hoping it was nothing crude or embarrassing. I noticed Katelyn was turning a little red and I closed my eyes. I was right; I did need to be afraid of what I'd said. "Oh shit ... what did I say?"

Katelyn snickered and then replied, "You ask me to bend down real close, and then you whispered in my ear I had beautiful breasts, and you could hardly wait to feel them crushed against your back."

I could feel I was turning red, "Please tell me I really didn't say that." I pleaded.

Her grin lit up her face, and she winked at me, "Sorry, you did."

I really didn't want to know any more, but I needed to find out how big of an ass I'd made myself with this lovely lady. "What else did I say?"

Katelyn has the cutest giggle. Just before she told me, she giggled, and then continued, "Then you told me you were going to keep the bike so revved up I would climax a few times just from the vibrations, and then when I started to beg, then you would take over."

"Holy shit!" I moaned. "I am so embarrassed. I'm really sorry. That's not the way to make a good first impression."

She reached out her hand and softly caressed my face. "But you were so cute the way you joked with me. I could tell you were in a lot of pain, and you were so messed up, but the fact you were hitting on me made me feel very special. I know it doesn't sound very professional and all, but I was pleased I was able to help ease your pain ... even if it was a bit unorthodox. It was that night I asked to be assigned as your recovery nurse."