Chapter 15: Indecent Proposal

Once again, It was yoga time at the Fairchild household.

Once again, the Franklin women were bent over in downward dog, eyes upturned to the TV. Once again, those Franklin asses, pretty heart-shaped butts all, were thrust to the heavens, their Franklin jubblies residing behind tight Lycra sports bras. And once again, they looked super hot doing it all.

Their form was impeccable, their motions precise, and their buns were hardened from hours of repetition and practice. An hour of power yoga every other day was the prescription for those hot-forged Franklin bodies, and those bodies were only so taut and sleek because they never missed their sessions. Never ... until now. The Franklins were down to two.

The pose of the video shifted, and both women lowered their waists to the mat while simultaneously straightening their arms and arching backward into a sun salutation. Lexi exhaled heavily, enjoying the stretch. “She didn’t say where she was going?”

“She didn’t know,” Babs said. “I asked, of course, but she just said she was going out with some new friends. I disappeared for five seconds on the phone, and she was out the door already when I got back.” She shrugged as much as she could in her position.

“Aren’t you worried?” Lexi asked.

“Bridget’s always been responsible,” Babs replied. “Yes, I would’ve preferred some contact information, and yes, I’d rather she left her phone on, but Bee’s a big girl.” They hopped to their feet, moving with the vinyasa. “The hardest part of being a mom is learning when to let go, Lexi. She’s an adult. It’s time.”

The front door swung open, pushed with far too much force and very little care. Unsurprisingly, it was Ben. Lexi glanced over and winked at him, enjoying the wonderment that spread across his face at seeing very lovely women in very enticing positions. She loved that deer-in-headlights look he always got when confronted by Yoga Day. Lexi had loved teasing him even before she’d liked him, so now she felt entirely comfortable with ramping it up to eleven. She licked her lips at him and jiggled her ass while Babs was turned to him.

“Home so soon?” Babs asked. Though she would never admit it, she also loved that tortured, overwhelmed expression, and she loved that she was able to incite it. She told herself that she was too much of an adult to openly flirt with her step-son, but she may have jutted her chest out a bit too much, or possibly arched her back a bit more sensually than necessary. She couldn’t help it.

“I uhh ... spilled some shit ... umm chemicals ... I need to change. Bye.” And with that, the sputtering ball of awkwardness fled up the stairs.

Babs exhaled and shook her head in a very “kids these days” way, while transitioning into Warrior One. “At least one of my children still has time for me.” She beamed at her youngest and blew out an exasperated sigh. “You’re not allowed to move out till you’re 25.”

Later, over breakfast, they decided what needed to be done about Bridget’s forgotten birthday. Babs had rightly felt wretched when Lexi reminded her about it, and she only felt worse when she realized that she couldn’t buy her a belated present because of their dwindling funds. She decided to buy her a car once they were back on their feet, whenever that might be. She hoped that would make up for most of her recent failings as a parent.

She still didn’t know what she was going to do for money, but she was determined to take it all in stride. She’d already managed to put the events at the frat house behind her, and she was meeting with prospective clients the following day that should provide some work. Things weren’t so bad. She just needed to keep herself occupied.

She wondered if Derek had told Ben that he was a cop yet. She’d wanted to immediately, and even wanted to prosecute the frat brothers involved, but she’d realized that she’d be liable for prostitution if she did, and so decided to let Derek handle it his way. He said he would have to tell Ben in another day or two anyway, so she allowed him the extra time as a favor. She didn’t quite understand what he was up to, especially with the pool guy bit, but she was willing to grant him his request for what he’d done for her.

After showering, she set herself to a few chores around the house, and was folding some laundry over her bed when Lexi again walked in through the doorway. She didn’t speak but simply began to fold clothes alongside her mother. Lexi often liked to help her mother with work around the house, but Babs knew her daughter too well. Something was on her mind.

“How’ve you been?” she asked. “Is it getting bad again?” Lexi nodded and looked up at her with bright golden eyes. Babs finished with the shirts and started balling up the socks, giving her daughter a small hug. “I guess it’s been over a week, huh? Been bothering you long?”

“Just this morning.” Lexi pulled back her hair, threading her dirty blonde curls through a scrunchy. “It hasn’t been as bad since ... you know.” She swallowed. “It hasn’t been that bad since the accident.” She sighed and sat on the corner of the mattress. “But I guess I woke up on the wrong side of the bed or something. I can’t even think straight right now.” Babs nodded and finished with the rest of the clothes before placing the basket onto the floor.

“Well why didn’t you say so?” She kissed Lexi on the forehead. “You know better than to ignore it too long.”

“I know.” Lexi collapsed backwards onto the bed, her too-tight T-shirt sneaking up past her belly button. Babs could see how excited and rigid her nipples were through the thin material. She could barely remember when she was young enough to forego a bra and get away with it, but Lexi only went without when she needed to. She was a complicated young woman.

“Did you try to take care of it in the shower?” Babs glanced from the basket of clothes to her daughter’s supine body.

“Of course,” Lexi answered. Masturbating in the shower had become part of her routine, but sometimes it just wasn’t enough. She watched her mother place a few stacks of clothing back into dresser drawers, before adopting a pitiful expression. “I’m sorry, Mom. I know you have a ton of stuff to do today and you don’t have time for this.” Babs dismissed the thought with a wave.

“I always have time for you, Lexi. You know that.”

“I know ... I just...” She covered her face with her hands and exhaled heavily. “I just don’t know what’s wrong with me. This isn’t normal.”

“Hey, hey now.” Babs quickly sat beside her daughter and stroked her hair in a reassuring manner. “There is nothing wrong with you, baby. Nothing at all.” She pulled Lexi’s hands away from her face and peered through them at her. “And who cares about normal anyway? You should be proud of who you are, not ashamed.”

Lexi sobbed once, and sat up and brushed off her face. “I know.” She drew her legs up underneath her and Babs couldn’t help but notice the moist spot between her legs. Darker pants would cover the problem but she wasn’t here to cover it up. She was here to fix it. “It’s just such a pain in the ass, sometimes.” Babs smiled kindly.

“You’re lucky Ben didn’t notice it when you were up there this morning,” she said. “If he wasn’t a typical boy, I would have assumed he had the same problem as you.” She waved a sock at her to illustrate. “He thinks he’s being sneaky, but he forgets I do his laundry. Ruins a dozen socks a month. At least you have the decency to do your business in the shower.”

Lexi chuckled. She considered telling Babs that she’d gone upstairs that morning for the sole purpose of having Ben fix her problem, but she didn’t. Knowing her mother, it would spark a long juicy conversation, and she had more pressing concerns. Besides, she was uncertain how she felt about Ben, lately. She liked him but she was wasn’t sure she liked him like that.

“He didn’t notice,” Lexi said. He was busy getting his dick sucked at the time... Babs smoothed down her hair and ran her thumb across her daughter’s cheek. Her face was as flawless as a china doll. She could barely believe what a stunning young lady she’d become. Even she found herself staring at times.

“Have you thought about letting him notice?” Lexi blushed. She wasn’t sure why. “He’d probably be more than happy to oblige your needs.”

“No doubt,” Lexi replied. “But I’m not sure I’d like him to consider me more of a slut than he already does.” Admitting her problem to him would make her feel even more exposed than taking her clothes off had. Babs looked at her strangely. “There’s been umm ... developments between he and I.” She wasn’t sure she wanted to feel that vulnerable around him.

“What does that mean?”

“I’ll get into it afterwards,” she said. “It’s complicated. And besides, he’s my brother. It’d be weird.”

“He’s no more your brother than Clarence was your father,” Babs answered. She stood up in front of her daughter and began to unbutton her blouse. “And if you recall, it was plenty weird with him at first too.” Her fingers worked quickly, and Lexi watched the flaps pull apart, exposing more and more skin.

“No weirder than it was with you,” Lexi said. Her mom finished unbuttoning her shirt and shrugged it off her shoulders. Her breasts were incredible. They were bigger than even Lexi’s and felt so much firmer. She knew they weren’t natural anymore but it didn’t take away from their eminence; their gravitas. They looked better than real. “ ... or as weird as it still is, with you...”

Babs smiled down at her. “Oh, now I’m weird?” she joked. “You know, I do have plenty of things to do this morning, but I was under the impression that I was better than no one at all.”

“Of course you’re better, Mom. The best.” Lexi reached her hand down to brush her fingers across the damp spot. Even through cotton, it felt like an electric shock, and she pulled her thighs together to savor it. She’d been nervous about behaving so provocatively in front of her mom at first, but after two years, there was little they didn’t share. “You’re my favorite. You know that.”

“Oh, I’m your favorite now? I thought I was weird,” She reached behind her back to unclasp her bra and then narrowed her eyes. “And why am I the only one taking my shirt off? Do you need my assistance or not?”

“Sorry.” Lexi crossed her arms and grabbed the bottom hem of her shirt, peeling it up and over her mountainous chest with slight difficulty. Her bare breasts bounced once as the material cleared them, but then they sat perfect, firm, and perky, with swollen nipples jutting out straight forward. So unfair... Babs thought.

“You’re not weird,” Lexi said, standing up long enough to shimmy down her little cotton booty shorts. “But our situation is a bit ... well...” She kicked off her shorts and put her hands on her hips, thinking in the buff. She couldn’t even imagine what her friends would say if they knew. “ ... oh it’s really, really weird, Mom, and you know it. How many girls honestly need their own parents to ... you know ... do what you do?”

“Well, not many girls have what you have,” she replied. “You’re just lucky I did. And I refuse to let you make the same mistakes I did growing up.” She started unbuttoning her pants. Curiously, she was anxious over letting Lexi see that she wore a racy white thong today. She would never tell her that she wore it on purpose to tease Ben, however. Pity he had to run off in such a hurry. I really need to stop thinking about him that way... Lexi whistled a catcall as her mother started tugging down her skinny jeans.

“Hot stuff, Mom,” she said. She waggled a finger at the older woman’s lacy unmentionables. “I know you aren’t wearing those for comfort, so who’s the lucky man?”

“No man,” she said. “Like I told Ben yesterday.” She walked to her closet, unfastening the catch of her brassiere as she walked and letting it fall to her feet. Lexi admired how well the thong fit her as the rest of her backside came into view. “But maybe I was expecting a visit.” She turned around and winked at her daughter. “Just because you need this, doesn’t mean I can’t look amazing while it’s happening.”

She opened the closet wide and bent to her footlocker. It was identical to the one owned by her daughter. “Nor does it mean that I can’t enjoy myself too, even if only a teensy bit.” She entered the combination to her chest while Lexi stared at her squating ass. With the thong, It was like two perfect grapefruits wearing a white headband.

Babs flipped open the lid of the chest while Lexi reclined again onto the bed. She pulled up her legs to either side, hazarding a touch between them. It made her shudder. After a moment of rummaging, Babs spun around, holding two objects.

“So how bad we feeling today? Are we Ryan Gosling bad?...” She held up a narrow but meaty flesh-colored penis. It was made of soft rubber and wobbled when Babs handled it. “ ... or are we Jean Claude Van Damme bad?” In the other hand, was the Universal Soldier - a larger, but still softer-looking dildo. It was ribbed with veins and looked menacing. She had another Jean Claude one in there too, a two-sided one for fun girl times called “Double Impact.”

“I don’t know if the Kickboxer will be enough.” Lexi swallowed and shook her head. “I’m afraid we’ve wandered into Bruce Lee territory,” she said breathlessly. “I need his kung-fu.” Babs smiled and widened her eyes.

“Well well,” she said. “It MUST be bad then...” She tossed the other two dicks back into the chest and drew out her harness, something like a jock-strap made of soft black leather. She began fastening the leather straps around her thighs and waist. There was no dildo yet attached, just an inch long threaded bolt. Lexi’s needs tended to vary according to her condition, so Babs adopted a plug and play approach. Once secured to her pelvis, she bent to retrieve Bruce Lee.

It wasn’t huge, nor appalling, but it was built of firmer stuff than soft rubber. It was a harder glossy plastic-like material with small bumps and ridges along its length for her pleasure. It also had a violent curve to it, almost as acute as an actual banana. It literally reached spots no actual penis could reach. She loved the way Babs used it on her. She once jokingly referred to her technique as “The Way of the Dragon.”

Babs began to screw the larger object into the harness she wore, spinning it like a helicopter blade until it snapped into place. Then she leaned back and jutted her pelvis forward, awkwardly trying to assume the position of a man. “I really have no clue how men walk around with these stuffed down their pant legs all day...”

Lexi shivered on the bed, her pussy feeling inflamed and needy like a spurned ex-lover. “You’re very funny Mommy, but can you...” She winced. Good Lord, she needed this. “Please don’t make me beg. Clarence always made me beg.” Babs approached the corner of bed where her daughter lay splayed out for her, feet barely dangling off the end. She tickled them and Lexi squealed, inching further back on the bed.

“Clarence made you beg?”

“C’mon Mom, please!” she yelled, and Babs finally slid her knees onto the bed. She crawled on top of her daughter, running a hand along her smooth legs and her unblemished, sun-kissed skin. Mommy’s long hard cock swung side-to-side below her.

“You know,” she said, walking over her daughter on all fours. “When you get older, you’re going to appreciate foreplay a lot more.” She drew up face-to-face with her daughter and kissed her. Lexi murmured and kissed back, reaching up her arms and hanging them around her mother’s neck.

“You’re probably right,” she said. “ ... when I’m older.” She reached down between them to wrap her fist around Mommy’s cock. Even just touching it with her fingers almost made her dizzy. She started to graze the tip of it across her moist lips, and the sensations made her twitch. It was so hard and thick and wonderful.

“ ... but right now, I’m just a young hot piece of teenage ass.” She kissed her mother quickly on the lips, the touch of their lips making them both smile. “ ... and like Dad used to say, “An ass like mine deserves to be fucked.”

Babs kissed her again, this time in a slightly less motherly way. “Lexi,” she chided. “Watch your language, dear.” She wrenched her hips forward, driving forcefully through Lexi’s lips, but only for an inch. Lexi’s body locked up and she hugged her mother so tightly that Babs was momentarily trapped between her daughter’s cleavage. She moaned, an uncertain shaky sound on the precipice of rapture. Deeper, she wanted to cry out, DEEPER! But she was so struck by that single inch that she couldn’t formulate words.

But then Babs lowered herself over her daughter’s trembling body. She steadied Lexi’s chest by lowering hers on top of it, and stilled her shaking legs by sliding hers around them in a grapevine. Lexi’s lips vibrated a second more but Babs sealed her lips over them, calming her with a kiss. And then finally, Lexi’s entire core turned to warm willing jelly as Mommy slid her long hard cock inside of her in one liquid-smooth motion.

The fullness was immediate and overpowering, and the body-to-body friction of another warm person pressed against her gave the experience that extra something that just wasn’t attainable with a dildo. Lexi felt like she might pass out before Babs summoned her back with the soothing purr of her voice. “No,” she whispered. “An ass like yours deserves to be cherished.”

“Mommy,” Lexi whispered as Babs slowly, deliciously withdrew. And then Babs slowly, torturously pushed back inside of her, filling each and every inch with Bruce fucking Lee. “Uhh Mommy!” The shaking immediately returned and redoubled as Lexi climaxed like a freight train.

Letters cannot adequately describe the unearthly sound that came out of Lexi just then. She grit her teeth and held on for dear life as screaming waves of pleasure tore through her body. Sometimes Lexi’s “problem” meant that she was so full of sexual tension that she could think of nothing else, but it also meant that the release of that tension was doubly, even triply as satisfying.

Lexi had even fallen unconscious before from the sheer power of the orgasms she had when thus afflicted. Dealing with “The Problem” sometimes felt so good that she wished she woke up with it everyday. But because nothing but actual penetrative sex could dispell it, it could be meddlesome when she didn’t have the necessary time or partner. Still, she looked forward to these “therapy sessions” with a mixture of excitement and fear.

“My word, girl,” Babs said, watching her spasming daughter adjust to the invasive superstar from Hong Kong. “You ARE bad this morning. That took two thrusts! I haven’t hurt you, have I?”

“Not yet,” Lexi said, suddenly feeling giddy from the sensations, “ ... but please, try again.” She laughed as she wrapped her legs around her mother’s petite waist, remembering Katie’s hilarious sex talk with Ben. “C’mon, Mom. Fuck me till I’m dead.”

The two women fell until giggles as the older methodically flexed her pelvis, filling up Lexi’s hot wet slit with a big plastic dick. She began kissing her as well, on the breasts, neck, and lips. Babs refused to have any kind of sex without some essential lip action. It was too impersonal otherwise.

“Never,” Babs said, settling into thrusts. “I love you too much.” Using one arm for balance, she snaked her other arm underneath Lexi, squeezing her closer, their breasts mashing together like golden buttery flapjacks. She started to ratchet her pelvis, the movement striking her as masculine yet still kind of fun. “But I will fuck you till you pass out,” she said. “Maybe then I can finally a get a few things done around here.”

“Watch your language, dear,” Lexi quipped, biting her lip as her mother stuffed her sharply in rebuke. Her breathing intensified along with the speed of Babs’ hips. Bizarrely, Babs was almost as good a lover as Clarence had been, and he’d had a dick his whole life. In the same way that 7-foot-tall thin guys are born for basketball, it often seemed like Babs was born to wield a dick.

“Don’t take this the wrong way Mom, but I think you should have been born a man.” Babs was almost forced to stop to keep from laughing.

“Well I...” Smack. “ ... for one...” Smack. “ ... am glad that you’re a girl.” She stopped thrusting momentarily to rotate her pelvis in hard grinding circles, her artificial dong stirring up Lexi’s pussy like a giant spoon in a cauldron. Babs prided herself on her dickwork. “If you were born a boy, then you’d be on top of me right now.” Lexi smiled as much from her words as her thrusts. “And I kind of enjoy this. It’s fun to play the man ... especially when there’s such a cute little filly to play with.” Lexi moaned.

Babs switched back to thrusts, eliciting small feminine yelps from Lexi with each bodily concussion. She leaned back away from her a moment, holding Lexi’s thighs vertical as she continued to thrust. As a student of kinesiology, she’d always found it fascinating to go through her old favorite positions as the male in the duo. She found it curious the way her stomach and hip muscles rippled with the fascinatingly odd sensation of thrusting.

She found missionary to be very enjoyable, or any position where she could set the pace and control the action. It was just so “male.” It felt very assertive, and kind of barbaric in a fun kinky way. She REALLY loved doggystyle. Once Lexi came a few more times, she would put her on her knees and Babs would give her some VERY unconventional parenting. It was during one of these therapy sessions a year ago, when a chance thrust slipped, opening Lexi’s eyes and butthole to the joys of anal sex. Afterwards, anal became her preferred activity with Clarence.

Some people, most people even, might find sex with their kids unspeakable. Babs had seen it that way once, too. But the idea hadn’t come from her. It had first arisen one drunken night back in her first year of college, when she still was roommates with Dana.

Babs had been a “problem” child like Lexi, and she’d drunkenly admitted to Dana that she’d wished that her parents would’ve been more proactive about it, rather than shovelling guilt on her for being promiscuous. They never accepted it as the biological need that it was. Dana tended to agree with them. Besides, she had said, It wasn’t as if they could fuck their own kid, could they? After a few more drinks, the prospect seemed a bit more amenable. Babs gripped Lexi around the waist and started to thrust faster. And now this was happening.

Dana had even further insisted that banging your daughter would be more effective as a punishment than as relief from any “problem.” But Dana had always been somewhat crazy, even then.

“Feeling better, baby?”

Lexi’s eyes were closed and she was panting softly, rocking against her mother’s pumping cock. Mom was really giving it to her hard today, and good thing. Ben had gotten her so worked up that she’d been fiending all day for a cigarette despite finding them disgusting. Her problems were bad enough without that idiot, walking around with his dumb muscles, and his ... nice tan, and his big cock, and his FINGERS and...

She supposed she should actually be blaming Babs. If not for her intrusion, Ben would probably still be fixing her good, with sexy little Katie urging him on. God, I fucking love this family... She flexed her young muscles as another wave of pleasure arrived to carry her away. She let it devour her, trembling, quivering, and cumming so hard that her lady juices dripped from her slit. Once she came down again, breathless, tingly, and oh so wet, Babs was there to whisper into her ear.

“Alright, enough of this lovey dovey stuff,” she said. She leaned back onto her shins, a slick glistening Bruce Lee snapping free of Lexi’s embrace to bobble up between them. Love juices beaded down the sides. “ Now spin around and get on your knees.” Lexi forced her eyes open to look up at her domineering parent. This was positive reinforcement that she could really get behind.

“Jesus mom,” she said giggling. “Maybe I’m not the only one with a problem around here.” She flipped onto her knees and thrust her butt out toward her mother.

“You never were, baby,” she said. “Mommy’s got it bad.” She smacked Lexi on the ass as she stepped up behind her, lining up the plastic cock with her sodden opening. Lexi’s pussy lips were glistening and Babs could feel that hers weren’t the only ones. “In fact, I’m going to need to you help me out with my problem once I finish with yours, and I think I need a bit more than Bruce Lee.”

Lexi jutted out her buttcheeks until she felt the thick shaft grazing her skin. “You sure? He’s bigger than he looks.”

“Yeah?” she said. “Well so is The Hulk.” She smiled envisioning the huge green attachment with curvy pink veins running the entire length. “ ... and as Clarence would say, an ass like mine deserves to be smashed.”

<missed call>

<missed call>

[10:43 AM] Ben: ANSWER THE FUCKING PHONE, RILEY!

[10:46 AM] Riley: I cant tlk right now

[10:46 AM] Ben: Why are you dodging me?

[10:52 AM] Ben: and WTF happened with Derek and my mom!

[10:55 AM] Ben: Don’t ignore me. Please say something

[11:00 AM] Riley: at work

[11:00 AM] Riley: and sry, can’t tell you

[11:01 AM] Ben: Why the fuck not? What did you do

[11:02 AM] Riley: I didnothing worng. But you need to hear it from your mum

[11:02 AM] Riley: *did nothing

[11:02 AM] Riley: Will you be at home in an hour or so??

[11:03 AM] Ben: No.

[11:04 AM] Riley: I’m coming over. stuff we need to talk about

[11:04 AM] Ben: I’m not going to be here.

[11:06 AM] Riley: I don’t have much time. Got an hour over lunch, but mom will want me back. Not supposed to see u

[11:07 AM] Ben: Why? CAn you do lk 1pm? Have to take care of something

[11:09 AM] Riley: No promises. I’ll do what I can

Having changed into more decent clothes, I jogged back across the street to the neighbors’ house. I quickly checked up and down the block to see if Derek was parked somewhere, waiting for me, but I didn’t see him anywhere. I let myself in and Triss greeted me. The change in her was pronounced.

She’d changed too, into a sheer clingy black tube of a dress that probably resembled a dark sock when not stretched across her ample chest and derriere. She’d redone her makeup as well, with dark eyeliner and green eye-shadow that made her eyes lambent and bright as emeralds. I supposed she approved of my attire, for she took a long look at me and nodded, before taking my hand in hers and walking back outside the door.

“Is Diana not coming?” I asked. We walked out to her black Acura and I circled to the passenger side.

“No,” she replied solemnly. “Tori was ... they were close. She’s taking it pretty hard.” She stepped inside the car and fastened her seatbelt. She looked a little spacey, as if everything around her struck her as mildly amusing. She smacked her lips a few times and turned to me.

“Just so we’re clear, I’m taking you to a party. A very adult party, for adults in the business.” She narrowed her eyes. “If, say, someone were to act like a dumbass or start some bullshit over nothing, whoever brought that person might be excluded from future engagements. Are you hearing me?”

“I’ll make sure I act older,” I said, entirely unsure of how to do so. “ ... and we’re just going for Bridget. We’ll just grab her and leave. We can be in and out in ten minutes.”

“No, we can’t,” she said. “Even if we could find her that quickly, I’m going for my own reason. I’ll need at least...” She did some mental math. “ ... at least a half-hour.”

“What reason?” I asked. Triss started to back out of her driveway and cast me a bothered glance.

“Well if you must know, I’m hoping someone there will be able to help me chase away my despair...” She shifted into gear and took off down the street. I nodded like I understood. “ ... by fucking it out of me, if I’m being too vague for you,” she added.

“Oh,” I said, feeling hopeful. “Well, you know I could uhh ... I could help you with that.” Triss smiled. And then she laughed. My hopes faded as quickly as they appeared.

“Sorry, Ben. But I’m afraid I need a professional.” She leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. I would’ve blushed if not for the surge of adrenaline that racked me when she took her eyes off the road to do it. Oh no ... I hope she’s not on drugs right now... “Don’t get me wrong, Ben. You’re fine in bed. Exceptional for your age, even.”

She rolled through a stop sign and someone honked at her. “But some of these guys are legendary. You know, you always watch these porn interviews and the girls are always saying that they all love huge dicks, like the bigger the better. Well, that’s bullshit for most girls, but me...” She whistled through her teeth before ramping up to an incredibly unsafe speed. “Give me the hulking gang banger with a hundred tats and the foot long pecker. Nothing better. A guy like that knows what he’s...”

“Please watch the road,” I interrupted. I sank into my chair in horror, hoping that we’d make it there alive.