Chapter 12: Meatloaf, Dildos, and Learning to Love The Bomb

“So what did you and Riley talk about last night?” I asked. “Actually, don’t tell me. I can guess this.” Lexi knelt at my feet wearing nothing but a wife-beater, the bottom of which had been pulled up so I could see her tits while she blew me. Her pajama pants were around here somewhere. I hadn’t looked where I’d tossed them after pulling them off. “You were sharing meatloaf recipes, huh? Comparing bra sizes? Pillow-fighting?”

Lexi grinned, exhaling through her nose as she took my dick down her throat. We were in the gym of all places, partly because it was near the kitchen where I’d encountered her, and partly because it was one of the few rooms in the house with working locks on the doors. As much fun as it had been having Riley intrude the previous night, neither of us thought that Sylvia, Bridget, or Katie would appreciate the details of our arrangement like Riley had. Pity, that.

“Did you guys even talk? You had to. You were alone up there for like a half hour.” I took a sip of my coffee. I’d started to like the stuff lately. It made me peppy. Lexi removed her mouth, using her hand to smear around the saliva.

“We also talked,” she said, before again licking me softly. “But I’m afraid the rest is between us girls.” She sucked my head between her lips and rolled her tongue against the underside. “Besides, I never kiss and tell.” Yeah, you just kiss on camera and wait for me to find it later...

“How very noble of you.” It was well and good to hear that Lexi actually had scruples but this was one situation where I cared more about what was said rather than what they did to each other. I mean ... I wouldn’t mind hearing about that other stuff too, but I already had a gorgeous teenage blonde gobbling up my naughty bits. How much more turned on could I possibly get? “Riley would tell me.”

“Is that so?” Lexi said with a grin. “Then why hasn’t she already?” Spiking her phone onto our front porch probably had something to do with it...

I ran into Lexi while getting my coffee but before I could even ask about her and Riley, she had pulled up her shirt and dragged me into the gym. She explained to me that she had no plans for the day, but might as well blow me now, just in case something came up. “Might as well,” I had told her. “Just in case.” She was on her knees with my dick in her mouth less than a minute later.

“You know, you’re actually pretty good at this,” I told her. “If you play your cards right, you might have a promising future ahead of you.” She laughed, nearly choking before withdrawing off of my cock.

“Just what I always wanted,” she deadpanned. “I could work my own street corner. Blow all sorts of interesting and exotic peoples.”

“It’s something to consider,” I said. “You seem to have a slight aptitude for it.” She ran her tongue alongside the bottom out to the tip, before engulfing just the head in a hot little love kiss. She fixed her eyes on me the whole time, watching me strain against that aptitude, slowly pumping my shaft in a death grip. “Alright,” I conceded. “More than slight. You have some skills.”

She was easily the match of Diana and wasn’t too far behind Olympics-level cocksuckers like Riley and Triss. “You just need to really love that penis. I think that’s Riley’s secret. It’s why she’s so much better at this than you.” I laughed inwardly. I just couldn’t help myself.

“Like hell she is,” Lexi said. As she manipulated my penis like a joystick, she kissed around my shaft and moaned against me, gingerly squeezing my balls and wetting them with spit. “You know you should be more appreciative of the girl holding your balls in her hand.” She squeezed them again for emphasis.

“I mean, you’re not terrible,” I said. I brushed a hair behind her ear as she resumed bobbing. “There’s no reason you couldn’t become as good as Riley.” She paused for the briefest of moments, and her eyes flashed at me. “ ... with enough practice of course.” I grabbed a handful of her hair and started urging her faster, lest my teasing make her stop.

“Her tongue is just incredible,” I said. “But I guess you would know after last night. She does this corkscrew thing along the underside with the tip that just...” I shivered from the memory. “ ... it’s just delightful.”

“You mean like this?” She ran her tongue along the inside, curling up and around the sides, swiping back and forth like a windshield wiper. I had to stop my leg from shaking.

“Uuuuuuugh, pretty close.” I took another sip of my coffee and pulled harder on her hair, urging her onward. Christ, this is good coffee! “With a little more practice, I’m sure you could rise to her level.” She rolled her eyes. I could tell that it was pissing her off, but competition brings out the best in people ... and blowjobs. “Here’s a thought. Maybe you could ask her for lessons.”

“Oh screw you!” Lexi said, finally pulling away. She was obviously a little prickly about her pride. “Don’t you know it’s impolite to talk about how well a girl gives head while getting head from a different girl?” Gagging my sister with my cock was apparently fine, but talking about Riley was impolite ... duly noted. She stood up then, pulling the wife-beater the rest of the way off and tossing it aside. “Besides,” she added. “I’m better than Riley, and you know it.”

“Oh, ho ho!” I said. “Someone has a high opinion of herself.” Lexi stepped over my outstretched legs and sat down upon my lap. The proximity was sudden and intimate and it gave me goosebumps.

“Please,” she said. “Riley doesn’t have shit on me. Does she have tits like these?” She grabbed my hands in hers and brought them quickly to her chest, urging me to get a handful. I did, and found myself holding onto the softest, most squeezable tits I’d ever felt. Her nipples hardened between my fingers.

“Oh, God,” I moaned. “Not like these.” While I fondled her, she shifted her pelvis closer to me, causing my wet shaft to slide against it, rising vertically between us. She leaned closer, speaking huskily.

“You’re goddamned right, she doesn’t,” Lexi continued, reaching down between her legs. She brought up her hand again, and the first two fingers were glistening with her own juices. “And I bet she doesn’t taste quite so sweet as this, either.” Without warning, she slid them between my lips, and I reflexively sucked them clean. She actually did taste amazing, but I had to remain impartial as I hadn’t tasted Riley yet. I wondered if Lexi had. Two wet hands reached down between us and began to pump me vigorously.

“Perhaps not,” I said, squeezing my abs so as not to cum all over her stomach. “But to make a call like that, I’d really need a better taste.” She smiled at me, before leaning in close, exhaling on my neck.

“You wish,” she said, “ ... but I don’t pass around my pussy as freely as your friend seems to.” She pushed her pelvis forward again, slowly rocking against the base of my prick. “It’s too bad, too. It wants your cock.” I laughed. This girl was unreal. She squeezed said cock tightly, making the head swell. “Do you feel how hot it is?” She ground her coinslot against my upturned boner and hugged her body to mine, trapping my prick in a sheath of smooth flesh. “How hungry?”

She stood up and reached for her phone on the bench next to me. She opened up the stopwatch and set it back down, before turning to me. “Let’s make a bet,” she said. “You want to know what Riley and I talked about, right? I’ll tell you every sordid little detail. What she did to me, what I did to her, what we did to each other...” She settled back into my lap, pointedly pressing her pubic mound against my cock. “I’ll tell you everything, but only if you can manage to resist me for two minutes.” Her eyes narrowed at me. “Shouldn’t be too difficult considering my slight aptitude.”

“And if I lose?” I asked. I had to be realistic. Two minutes is an eternity when you’ve been getting blown for the previous ten.

“When you lose,” she corrected me. “You acknowledge that I’m better than she is.” She thrust her pelvis against mine while still straddling my legs. My dick slipped up and between us. “And let’s make it interesting and call it a hundred bucks, too.” She winked at me. “A girl’s got expenses.”

“No deal,” I said. “I’m already close. Any girl could make me cum in two minutes.”

“Maybe,” she said, tickling the head with her thumb. “I’m sure a girl like Riley could manage. But what if I told you that I could do it without my mouth?” She removed her hands from my shaft and instead placed them on my shoulders. “ ... or my hands?” She shook her tits against my chest invitingly and gently rubbed her vertical slit against my boner. “C’mon Ben, what have you got to lose?” I had nothing to lose. All I was considering was whether the act that Lexi described was worth $100 or not, because that’s what it was going to cost. But I still had a few hundred left in my pocket after Syl forced me to take some back, and who was I kidding? This sounded like a blast.

“Yeah fine,” I told her, tapping the start button on her stopwatch. “Do your worst.” And with a smile and a twinkle in her eyes, Lexi wrapped her arms around me, and started riding me at a full gallop.

As I sipped my coffee, careful not to spill, I was forced to reflect that this was a fine way to wake up on a Saturday morning, especially considering how tiring the previous night had been. Derek took Riley and Drew home once they finished doing whatever they were doing, but it had still been a very late night, and I had collapsed into my bed still wearing my boxers.

I still would’ve happily been there had Katie not woken me up at a sensible hour talking about how great Kim Kim was. They were facebook friends and texting each other by the time the sun came up, and of course, I had to hear all about it. I probably would’ve been more pissed about it, had I not gone downstairs to get some coffee...

“Ohhhh wow.”

... and coffee tends to brighten my mood. As do races against the clock to make me cum.

Lexi used her arms to hold us together, her breasts pressed against me and flopping up and down with her motions. She ground her pussy against me hard, sliding her wet lips up and down my shaft while she bounced on my lap. My dick swelled and almost seemed to radiate pleasure, pulsating as Lexi made short work of what remained of my stamina. She moaned and murmured into my ears the whole time. I wildly hoped that she might accidentally impale herself upon me, but those agonizingly hot pussy lips kept sliding up my shaft in a frenetic yet controlled pace. The girl really did have skills.

As predicted, her smooth skin, bouncy breasts, and whorish moaning brought me to the precipice far before the two-minute mark, and I decided not to fight it. I instead grabbed her ass cheeks and effectively fucked her without the penetration. She sped up in the final moment, and I shook underneath her as I began to hose down the space between us, making a slimy mess of both our stomachs.

Losing never felt so good. I spent the rest of minute number one shuddering and emptying my balls, and Lexi took the remaining minute to grind slower and tighter, smearing around the cum between us and using it as lube. After the handcuffs yesterday and now this display, I was starting to think Lexi just worked better without her hands. “Holy fucking shit,” I said. I needed to question Lexi’s abilities far more often.

After one last hump, Lexi leaned back to let my dick breathe, smiling in triumph. We both looked down at our shiny stomachs and giggled before she stood and procured us a towel to clean up. Afterwards, I took up my shorts off the ground and fished through the pockets. “Well I guess I lose,” I said, pulling out what remained of my week’s earnings and handing it to her. “Woe is me and all that.”

“Told you I was better than Riley,” she said with a wink. It was a sure bet that Riley could pull off a similar stunt but I wasn’t about to say so. Lexi walked toward her pajama bottoms and then made a show of bending over to retrieve them. The sight, combined with my limitless youthful vigor, ensured that I was going to be sporting the impressive yet cumbersome boner for at least a little bit longer. I had given it breakfast but it seemed to stare up at me like a curious hobbit asking “what about second breakfast?” And if I knew my penis, he’d be expecting elevensees, lunch, tea, supper, and dinner as well.

I stood up from the bench and stared down at the thing. It hadn’t flagged at all, still veiny and rigid, curving toward the heavens hungrily. Lexi giggled as she finished with her pants and started pulling her shirt back on.

“Looks like you should’ve bargained for two blowjobs a day,” she said. She smiled again at me. With her cute little ponytail and thin, tight-fitting PJ’s, I wanted a lot more than just a blowjob. I had often dreamed of marathon-fucking Lexi for entire days at a time, only taking breaks so as not to starve to death. THAT was what I should’ve bargained for.

“I tried,” I said, narcissistically staring at my own erection. “But technically speaking, that wasn’t a blowjob, so your obligations to my cock are still outstanding.” Lexi chuckled. I’d already had an amazing morning but hey, it could always get better, right? A blowjob a day can really spoil a guy.

“God knows I don’t want to accrue any penile debt,” she teased, sauntering toward the door. “No promises, but maybe I can fulfill my obligations later tonight.” She slipped the cash beneath the waistband of her bottoms, before giving her own bum a little slap for me. “And if not, there’s always tomorrow. Your dick will wind up in my mouth, eventually.” I reached to my cock as she spoke and started to masturbate in front of her, my sexual obsession with her approaching dangerous levels. She glanced at it as I did, and I could see that she enjoyed putting me in such a state. “Damn, Ben. How are you hard again? Already?”

“How much?” I demanded.

“Excuse me?”

“How much to fuck you right here, right now?” She seemed surprised by the words as I said them, and a blush actually suffused her neckline. How a few words could have more effect on her than grinding me to completion I’ll never know. But what I did know, what I could seem to sense, was that she was uneasy, reticent about the idea for some unspoken reason. I didn’t see so much of a huge difference between sex and what we just did, but then again, I wasn’t the one having a meat cylinder stuffed inside of me.

She took a few steps toward me, and reached out, taking my cock again and giving it a few pity strokes. “I thought we talked about this?”

“You said sex would be crossing a line,” I argued. “But so what?” My hands seemed to gravitate toward her, wrapping around her waist, seeking the flesh underneath her tight shirt. “Why can’t we just...” My eyes sought out her tits, her eyes, that bare strip of belly between her clothes, and then I saw her hands. Those dextrous little fingers sliding up and down the throbbing veiny shaft, pulsating with desire. “If I can’t have you right now, I feel like I’m going to explode,” I said, meaning it. She nodded, smiling slightly.

“Then I guess you’re just going to have to explode,” she replied, leaning in to whisper, “but for safety’s sake, I should probably stick around till it happens.” And then she kissed me. Just like our first kiss, it was a harmless, half-thought-out smooch that would normally not turn heads. But also like our first kiss, it shocked me into confusion. Something about a lip-to-lip kiss seemed to be crossing more lines than there were boundaries for, and with Lexi? I was kissing Lexi? Memories of the past week assaulted my senses and dread and anger choked my throat over what she had done.

But then it was fine. Then, she was fine.

All the horribleness just faded into nothing, and there was simply a pretty girl here who wanted to kiss me. And I wanted to kiss her back. She pulled away from me quickly, seeming surprised as I, and stared at me, her expression unreadable. I squeezed her waist harder, and her fingers around my dick came back to life. Our breathing became shallower, and a small whimper escaped her lips. I’d like to think that she was as aroused as I was, but I’ll never know, because along with her whimper came a scrabbling at the door handle.

We both jumped, separated instantly, and shot terrified glances at each other. My fight or flight response kicked into gear and smothered the lovey dovey side that had been calling the shots. A second ago, I had been ready to kill for Lexi, but now only one thought filled my head. GET YOUR FUCKING PANTS BACK ON!

Another scrabbling. “Ben? Ben, are you in there?” Of course, it was Katie. I should’ve realized she’d be coming down to work out at some point.

“Uhh ... yeah!” I shouted. “Just a sec!” I furiously worked my shorts up but couldn’t maneuver my dick into them. Out of other options, I simply buttoned them with the zipper down, letting my cock wave from the fly like a Ben pennant. Lexi scrambled to where my shirt was and tossed it to me. With it on, I could barely manage to hide my bulge. Embarrassed, I sat down on the bench and draped the shirt over it.

I motioned to Lexi that she had to open the door, but her terrified look told me that she wasn’t a fan of that idea at all. “One second!” I assured Katie, but every second of delay would only serve to make us look more and more guilty. I tried to think of better ways to deal with the situation but there was only one way out of the gym and no places to hide. All we could do was face the music and deal with the fallout. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe Katie would think we were just talking. Two people can lock themselves in a room to talk shit out, right? I glanced from my raging erection to Lexi with her guilty eyes and tensed muscles. Fuck my life...

With a look of extreme discomfort, Lexi slowly opened the door ... and promptly scurried through it before anyone could accuse anyone of anything. Katie stepped backwards to dodge her, and threw a quizzical glance after her, obviously never having expected in a million years to find her in the gym. Then she turned to me and raised one eyebrow. She planted her hands on her hips confrontationally. “Explain,” she said.

Oh God, I thought, Not another new outfit... Technically Katie was dressed for a workout, but in the kind of outfits Triss or Diana would wear to a gym shoot before they were promptly stripped and fucked senseless. It wasn’t the sort of outfit that would allow my boner to abate either, and my dick began to hastily set the table for second breakfast.

As far as I could tell, she was only wearing 4 articles of clothing, shoes and socks included. All that covered the rest of her was a size-too-small sports bra that showed every detail of her excited nipples and a pair of sprayed-on lycra booty shorts that showed every detail of the tucked-in cleft between her legs.

Was she trying to lift or give me heart attack? Didn’t she realize how exposed she was? It took me a minute, dumb as I was, but I soon got it. She knew exactly how exposed she was. It was nice to know that she still found me cute enough to tease with sexy clothes.

“I, uhh ... what did you say?”

“Explain,” she said, pointing in the direction Lexi had gone, “What was she doing in here?” She took a step inside, her abs rippling in a nauseatingly erotic manner. She looked alarmed, but not angry just yet. “Why was the door locked?”

“Lexi wanted to talk,” I said. “She wanted to apologize after the fight last night.”

“Lexi wanted to ... apologize?” she asked. “How hard did that guy hit you yesterday?”

I shrugged. “Seriously. It surprised me too. She said that she was sorry about starting all that shit.” Katie nodded but looked like she needed more. “ ... and about letting those guys in and stuff...” Another nod. She put her hands on her hips. Does she still need more?

“Really?” she asked, looking over her shoulder through the doorway. “She apologized to you?” She shook her head. “What a fucking whore.” Whoa. Her tone caught me off guard. “That bitch spends the entire night stealing away the only guy I actually invited and then she decides to apologize ... to you?”

A pang of guilt assaulted me. I still agreed with Katie that Lexi was kind of a spoiled bitch, but she had no part in what happened last night. I was solely responsible for Kevin going after her. I decided to play the high road and blame Kevin instead.

“Kevin is the one who owes you an apology,” I said. “He didn’t have to go after her.” Katie sighed and slumped her shoulders. Her sexy getup had nearly tricked me into believing she was a strong, confident woman, but her posture made me remember that she was just a nervous, skinny fifteen-year-old girl trying to compete with Lexi’s near-perfect genetics.

“Yeah, well, fuck that guy, too,” she said. She slowly walked over to where I was sitting and sat down next to me on the bench, far too close for comfort. “I thought he was cute but I’ll be damned if he wasn’t dumber than a brick.” She shrugged.

“Kim Kim more your speed?” I asked. She smiled wistfully.

“Yeah,” she said. “He seems pretty cool. Smart too. I need to ask a favor about him actually.”

“A favor?” I was willing to do pretty much anything to no longer be this room with this mammoth erection. “Of course. What do you need?”

She pulled her feet up underneath her and turned to face me on the bench. I angled toward her a bit as well to better hide myself. The bottom of my T-shirt was the only thing that separated Katie from the fatty Lexi had wrought.

“Nothing too huge,” she said. Liar. “After last night, I asked him if he wanted to go see a movie tonight and he said he’d love to...” she let the last words linger as a slight smile crept across her lips.

“But... ?”

“Buuut ... his parents will only let him come if he brings his sister along...” The smile expanded. “And since you were so adamant yesterday about not having a girlfriend...”

“ ... then you thought I could occupy her while you put the moves on Kim, huh?” She answered with another smile. Her braces melted me.

“Cuz I have so many moves.”

I laughed. “Just wear what you’re wearing right now and you won’t need moves, trust me.” She blushed. If she wore that to the theatre, she’d have to beat them off with a stick. She seemed insecure about it though. She didn’t know how to own that shit like Lexi did. She leaned closer.

“They’re so tight,” she whispered, giggling. “Lexi said they fit perfectly but I feel like I’m naked.” Mentioning Lexi apparently soured her mood as her lips became stern again. “That fucking bitch...” she mumbled.

In a rare moment of altruism, I felt compelled to tell her about Kevin. Lexi deserved a lot of flak for other encounters but her and Katie had just started to get along before I butted in and reopened the rift. I didn’t want to be the source of their dislike for one another.

“About the double date, that’s fine.” She brightened. Jo had actually been pretty cute, and Asian girls were a mystery I had yet to delve into. Besides, it didn’t hurt to make Katie happy before dropping the bomb. “But I need to confess something. I kind of had a hand in Lexi stealing Kevin from you.” Her smile wilted a little but very slowly, as if she was taking a moment to process the words.

“What ... what do you mean?”

I took a deep breath. “Look. When you found us in the kitchen last night, Lexi was angry because I was asking her to get him away from you.” Her smiled disappeared. I tried to look at her, but the confusion behind her eyes stung to look at. I kept speaking just to banish the silence. “I’m sorry,” I said. “But that guy, Katie?” I shook my head. “No. Not you. You’re too special for some fuck like him and his hands were all over you.”

“You ... you were watching me?” She answered slowly. “That doesn’t make sense ... why would she listen to you?” Her face was pleading. It was as if she was trying to find a reason not to be angry with me and failing.

“I lent her some money,” I lied. “She didn’t want to do it. You should probably know that. It was my fault.” I ran out of words but couldn’t stop speaking. I knew she was likely furious. “I’m sorry,” I repeated.

“Yeah, you said that already,” she snapped. She exhaled heavily before putting her feet back onto the ground and hanging her head in her hands. “Goddamnit, Ben...” She took another breath while I stared at her dimples of Venus. Think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts. “It’s like every time you get on my good side lately, you somehow manage to screw it up.”

“But hey, it’s better this way, right?” It wasn’t at all better this way. “Because you met Kim and he’s so much better than...”

“You had no right!” she said suddenly. “Fuck, Ben. It’s not up to you to decide who I date!”

I held up my hands to proclaim my innocence, even as I proclaimed my guilt. “I know. I’m sorry. I was just really drunk and ... I made a mistake, Katie.” I hoped the “drunk” card would help, but I added another “I’m sorry,” before closing with the clincher. “It’ll never happen again, I promise.”

Katie shook her head once more before straightening up, glancing at me. “You’re a dick,” she said.

“I know.”

“I should hate you.”

“I would understand if you did.” She took a deep breath through her nose while inspecting me. I meekly returned her gaze.

“I should,” she repeated. “ ... but I don’t.” She shrugged again, with less conviction. “Kevin was kinda dull. It’s not a terrible loss.” Her eyes narrowed. “But I still don’t get it. He was harmless.”

“No boys my age are harmless,” I said. “Sorry. I have a twitchy overprotective brother impulse.”

“Protective?” she asked. “That’s why you got rid of him?” She stared at me, studying me. I nodded. The real reason was that the sight of someone else’s hands on her made me sick with jealousy. I wanted my hands all over her. Mine, and no one else’s.

She shook her head. “I need you to understand that this would be a very different conversation if Kim hadn’t come along.” She smiled in a girlish way. Jesus, I owe that Kim Kim another beer. “ ... and you’re still a dick.”

“I know.”

“ ... but I guess it’s flattering that you were trying to protect me, sort of ... Just don’t ever do it again.” She bit her lip and turned to me. “I guess it’s fine...” As she spoke, she reached over to pat my thigh in what I suppose was a conciliatory gesture. As she did though, she must have noticed that my shirt seemed like it was snagged on something. She gave me a funny look and then patted my leg again, and then again.

“What the fuck is...” I tried to turn away but she was too fast. She must have guessed what the problem was before she saw it though, because she grabbed the front of my shirt and yanked it up, revealing the beast underneath. I jumped to my feet and tried to hide it as best I could, but what was the point? You can’t unsee boners. I couldn’t seem to get a break with Katie. “Seriously, Ben?!”

I tried to tuck it away unsuccessfully before just giving up. It wasn’t as if I could snap it off, so my engorged penis stood between us like the oversexed little traitor that he was. She pointed at my cock like he was guilty of a crime. He was guilty ... of slaying bitches like a boss.

“That’s why you were sitting down?” Katie accused. “Lexi and you?” She suddenly gripped her stomach. “Oh God, I think I’m gonna be sick.”

I grew a little angry. Was this seriously happening again? In the gym, AGAIN!? “Katie, it’s only a boner for Christ’s sake. Just listen to me for a second...”

“God, Ben! Don’t you understand what it’s like for me to see you get so ... and over some skank like her? Lexi? Are you fucking serious? Did you fuck her?” Her eyes started to shimmer. Among my other skills, my ability to make my sisters cry was paramount. It was more than a slight aptitude; I was like a grandmaster at that shit.

“Please calm down.” I knew it was the wrong thing to say as soon as it left my lips.

“DON’T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!” she returned. “Everything around here revolves around that spoiled whore, and now you’re sucked into her bullshit too.”

“Please, Katie. It was nothing.”

“I’m sure,” she said. “You two fuck buddies now? That’s it? Lock the door so your stupid little sister doesn’t find out?”

“Oh come on, Katie,” I said. “It wasn’t like that.” Katie lowered her eyes to my cock before crossing her arms.

“Your dick disagrees.” She shook her head at me. “Jesus Christ, Ben ... I really thought you were better than that.” Some part of me was sympathetic to what she was saying, but I was still fifteen and didn’t get what the big deal was. Was an erect penis - even one expecting second breakfast - such a terrible thing as to warrant a complete emotional breakdown? One of the wisest things my father had ever told me was applicable here. A one-liner he let fly one Sunday over a beer.

“Girls are really weird, son,” he said, “Difficult to predict, impossible to control, prone to emotional outbursts that’ll make your head spin ... but if you think they’re strange now, just wait until you find one that likes you.” Is that what’s going on here?