Chapter 22

It’s not my fault, so why do I feel guilty. The man, my used to be man, didn’t have to kill those guys. He could have run off after he got the gun away from that Harry guy. But he shot ‘em down, all of them. Oh my, what a scene that must have been! And Jenna was there to see it. I know why she is always crying now for sure: she feels responsible. If she hadn’t been there, none of it would have happened. But, even allowing for that; he didn’t have to kill them, certainly not all of them! Why! Why! Why! Lucky he had a good lawyer; he could have gotten the death penalty. But seven to ten years is severe enough I guess. He’ll have time to think about what he did, to them, and to all of us, thought Stacey.

“Okay, she went up there. So... ?” said Ronald Carter.

“Yes, she did. She actually did! Aunt Delia gave her the go ahead. I guess David okay’d it with her first; then, she relayed the invitation to Jenna,” said Stacey.

“And?” he said.

“And, I guess there were tears and solace and a request by him that there be no more visits by anybody until he gets out,” she said.

“Hmm, so maybe in hindsight it turned out to be a good thing. I mean her going up there to see him,” said Ronald. She nodded.

“I guess, I mean apparently. At least now we won’t have to be pressuring her to not go. I guess that’s something. I have to say that I appreciate his attitude. He’s doing the right thing or trying to. Heaven knows it’s little enough. He has a lot to make up for,” she said.

“Yes he does. But, on the upside, Jenna will be pretty much in our circle from now on. I mean I will be able to be the dad I’ve so wanted to be. And, maybe I can finally sell her on the idea that I’m not just a late comer to the party,” he said.

“Hmm, yes, I guess. But, her guilt at being the cause of his going to prison, well, I mean we do still have to go slow. We don’t want to appear to be taking advantage of the situation; that would not be good; it could backfire on us if we tried,” she said.

“Yes, I see what you mean. So we just let things take their natural course. No pressure. We’ll just be there, available,” he said.

“Yes, exactly,” she said.

“She has indicated that she wants to start college in the fall. That’s just a couple of months off,” he said.

“Yes. She’s told me that she talked to you about that,” she said. “Wants to be a lawyer, she told me.”

“Well, maybe by the time he gets out she’ll be one,” he said. The woman smiled.

“Wouldn’t that be something,” she said.

“It would indeed,” he said.

“A couple of months you say,” she said.

“Yes, I have a contact or two. I can get her in at State even at this late date. I’ll take tomorrow off and head over there and get the ball rolling. By this time next month, she’ll have her classes and be all signed up and ready to go,” he said.

“Good, good, very good,” she said.

The tears rolled down her cheeks. The day was hot and humid. The pool a few scant yards across from her, as she sat under the umbrella table on their expansive patio, glistened in the afternoon sun.

She recalled better days as she sat there and waited for her man and her daughter to return from the nearby college campus. She wondered if her daughter would write the man upstate and tell him of her plans. She knew she’d told him that she was planning on going to college, but of course at the time she, Jenna, had had no details that she could reasonably have shared with him. Well, she would now.

She heard the garage door opener engage across the yard from her. They were home. She wiped the tears from her eyes, and made to get up and go into the house. She’d reminisce about her other man, the one who used to be her man, another time. She did miss the lug for sure, that would never change. She hoped he was all right, well, as all right as he could be in a place like that.

“Hi,” he said. He threw his briefcase on to the dinette table and wrapped his arms around the woman he’d stolen from his brother.

“Hi to you too,” she said, “how’d everything go?”

“Good, Jenna’s in, in the school. She has an appointment with her advisor tomorrow at 3:00 p.m.” he said. The two older adults turned toward the sound of the door opening and closing in the back of the adjacent kitchen.

Jenna entered the room and unburdened her arms of the quarter ton of papers and folders she’d been carrying in from the car.

“Hi, mom,” she said.

“Hi, honey. So you’re going to college,” said Stacey.

“Yes, gonna get it done,” said Jenna. “Daddy David asked only one thing of me, to finish college. Her mother didn’t frown, well, not outwardly.

“Yes, and we’re asking the same thing of you,” said Stacey. The younger woman smiled, but it was a weak smile and it carried a message, one her mother did not correctly interpret.

“Have you decided on a major?” said her mother.

“Pre-law,” said Jenna. “Mostly Philosophy and Psychology courses after I get done with the Gen-Ed stuff. Long term it’ll be Law school.”

“Sounds exciting, doesn’t it, dear,” she said, glancing over at her husband who had somehow retrieved a beer from the kitchen without anyone noticing.

“It does indeed,” said Ronald.

“So when do your classes start?” said Stacey.

“Not for a couple of months, but I did get a reading list from the advisor. I intend to hit the ground running. Anyway, I’ll have most of the reading done before school starts,” she said.-

The talking went on for some time, but the elephant in the room: her visit to see, and her relationship with, the man who’d raised her from birth was not addressed.

The food in the mess hall at the DOC, while not exactly terrible, left a ton to be desired. Today was Thursday, chili and beans day. The place didn’t smell bad enough every other day? They had to add to the odiferous awfulness of the place by serving chili and beans! Well, I guess it was a place of punishment and Thursday lunch certainly added to and enhanced that goal, boy did it ever.