Chapter 1

"Doctor Patel, are you saying there's nothing more you can do?" John asked the physician while holding onto the table as he felt his knees buckling.

"I am afraid not, sir. The tumor is located on the left Amygdala of the brain and is impossible to do surgery to remove it. Over the past six months it has grown over 200% and it is no longer responding to treatments. There is nothing that anyone can do at this point."

John looked toward the door where his daughter was having Chemotherapy. He hated that she was going through this and wished that his wife was here to help him deal with it. She was too young and had her entire life still ahead of her. It was so unfair.

"How much longer, doc? Realistically."

"It is very hard to say. With stage four cancer of the brain like this some people live only a few weeks where others may last months. Either way I think you need to start putting her affairs together."

"So you're saying she might die next week?!?!"

"I did not say with certainty that it would happen. She may live a couple of weeks or a few months, but I can say with absolute certainty that she will not live any longer than three or four more months. Of that I am very certain."

The door opened and his daughter Rose stepped out of the room, holding onto the frame for support. The treatments always made her weak, light-headed and nauseous. Even with the anti-nausea pills they gave her she almost always threw up after each session. He knew that they would have to make a stop at the restroom before leaving the hospital as she was holding her stomach.

"Hey, pumpkin," he said smiling at her as he approached. "How are you feeling?" With tired eyes she looked up at her father, her skin pale and her body gaunt. At five foot two she was a normal height for her age, but the illness has kept her weight below average. It had been a year since she was diagnosed and so much has happened since then. Placing his arm around her shoulder for support, both physical and emotional, they walked leisurely down the hospital corridor toward the elevator.

"Need a pit stop?" he asked as they neared the restrooms.

"Maybe. Just to be sure I don't puke again on the bus."

"No problem, honey, I'll wait right here for you." He held open the door as she gingerly entered the woman's restroom.

Leaning against the adjacent wall he stared up at the florescent light flickering above his head. The strobing was hypnotic and briefly gave a reprieve of his plight. What was he going to do now? It had only been two years since his wife passed and he had some solace in knowing that she didn't live to see their only child suffering like she did. They found her cancer too late to do anything. Ironically they caught Rose's in time but the location prevented surgery and the treatments have been ineffective.

The two major illness over the past three years have been detrimental to him both physically and financially but he didn't have time to think about that right now. Spending time with Rose for whatever remaining time she had and doing whatever he could to make her happy was all that mattered. She has never been to Disney World and he intended on taking her there before she died no matter what. The door swung open and Rose wobbled out, holding onto the wall for support.

"You okay, pumpkin?" he asked putting his arm around her shoulder again to keep her from wobbling.

"I guess so. About as okay as I can be." She always tried to keep a positive attitude in the wake of tragedy.

"Come on, let's get out of here," he whispered kissing the top of her head. Making their way to the bus stop they waited on the bench until the bus could be seen several blocks away. Even though it was the middle of the summer she wore a sweater and was visibly shaking from chills. John put his arm around her for warmth.

"Hungry?"

"Not really. My stomach is still feeling a little funny."

"No problem, we'll just go home so you can rest." Rose nodded just as the bus stopped in front of them. John couldn't help but notice the huge billboard plastered on the side of the bus promoting the 'Make a Wish' foundation. It would be nice to grant her a dying wish. Or two or three.

"You know, honey, I was thinking that maybe we could go down to Orlando one day next week. I know you've always wanted to go to Disney World and now is the perfect time!" Staring out the window Rose shrugged her shoulder. She knew they couldn't afford a trip like that.

Her father lost his job right after she got sick when he started taking time off to be with her. The medical bills from her mother's sickness pushed him into bankruptcy and now he's struggling just to put food on the table. Their car was repossessed months ago, he's sold off everything they had of value and most of their furniture is gone. He tried hiding the foreclosure notices they have been receiving over the past two months but she saw them. It was just a matter of time before they would be homeless and out on the street. She hated to think about it.

"So Rosie," he began with a big grin thinking about the billboard. He sometimes called her that when he's feeling good or when he wanted her to cheer up. "If you had three wishes, anything in the world, what would they be?" Rose grimaced, turning to look back outside again. "Come on, anything at all." Even though he knew that he couldn't possibly grant any of them, he wanted to give her hope, wanted to make her feel better in her final days.

"Daddy it's not like they will come true," she mumbled fidgeting with her hands on her lap.

"You never know. Pretend I'm a genie and I'm here to grant you three wishes. What would you wish for?" She sighed deeply not wanting to have this conversation but felt it was necessary.

"Anything?" She asked turning to face him with a sullen expression.

"Yea, anything."

"I wish that I didn't have cancer."

Her reply wasn't what he was expecting but it made sense. It also shut him up for the thirty minute ride home. How could he respond to that? Surely she knew that there was nothing he could do to rid her of the tumor or it would already be done. Getting off the bus they walked the few blocks to their home and like always he carried her upstairs to her room like a new bride.

As hard as he tried to keep her things, her only remaining possessions were a donated mattress in the corner, a few milk crates and boards to make shelves for her clothes and a couple more to sit on. A lonely heart-shaped locket given to her by her mother before she died hung on a nail above her mattress. The few clothes she owned were old and tattered or just too small to wear any longer. She never complained as she knew they had no money for new ones.

"Get some rest," he said tucking her into bed before leaning over to kiss the tip of her nose. "What would like to eat later?"

"My tummy is still feeling funny. Just a grilled cheese sandwich."

"Again?" She nodded. "Okaaayy, I'll have dinner ready when you wake up." She smiled at him. Once the side effects of the treatments wore off she'd feel better but for now all she wanted to do was sleep.

"Feeling better?" John asked smiling as she descended the stairway. She had been asleep for over two hours and her sandwich was already cold.

"Yea, a little."

"Hungry yet? I can reheat your grilled cheese."

"Sure, that would be great," she said sitting on the floor where her father had been sitting. He was watching some old movie on the laptop he found at a yard sale a few months ago. It was old and slow but it was better than nothing. In certain parts in the house they were able to get a Wi-Fi signal and watched whatever they could online. Reaching for his beer she took a sip and crinkled her nose at the taste. Why did he like it so much?

"You're not drinking my beer are you?" he asked entering the room.

"I just wanted to taste it. Why do you like it? It tastes gross." John chuckled.

"I guess it's an acquired tasted." Placing the paper plate with her food next to her he sighed. There are so many things in life she's going to miss out on, like drinking her first beer, having her first boyfriend, getting married, having children and enjoying life.

"Want one?" he asked up-ending the bottle to finish the last few sips. These are her final days so what's the harm?

"Seriously? It's okay for me to drink?"

"Hey, you only live once, right? You've got to enjoy life while you can."

"Sure, I'll take one," she replied smiling suddenly feeling grown up. She's always had a good relationship with her father, especially after her mother died. John returned with two bottle of beer and handed her one.

"It tastes better cold," he said sitting next to her.

"What are you watching?" she asked returning her attention to the movie.

"It's called 'The Notebook'. Kinda lame, but it's either that or the news. You pick."

"I guess this is fine," she replied staring at the frosty dark bottle. Bringing it to her lips she took a small sip. He was right, it did taste better cold but it still wasn't very good. She took another sip before reaching for her sandwich and starting to watch the movie. She enjoyed their time together and snuggled next to him after she ate.

"I know what I want for my first wish," she said smiling up at him.

"Huh?"

"On the bus you said if I had three wishes, anything in the world, what would they be, remember?"

"Of course I remember. What's your first wish?"

"I want my first wish to be a kiss."

"A kiss? Honey I kiss you all the time."

"Not that kind of kiss. I want a kiss like that one," she said pointing at the TV. John's eyes widened as the image of Ryan Gosling and Rachael McAdams standing in the rain engaged in a passion-filled kiss filled the screen.

"Uh, aren't you a little young to be wanting to kiss like that?"

"I'm 14!"

"You just turned 14 three weeks ago!"

"I'm still 14 and besides, it's my first wish. I want to know what it's like to have a real kiss."

"That might be complicated. I mean you'll have to meet a nice boy, bring him home for me to meet and then you'll have to meet his parents and then you'll fall in love and then you'll kiss like that. It might take a while since you don't even have a boyfriend yet."

"What about you?"

"ME?!? Honey I'm your father, I can't kiss you like that, it wouldn't be right!"

"I've seen you kiss momma like that before."

"That's different. She was my wife. You're my daughter."

"I'm still a girl."

"Pumpkin, it wouldn't be right."

"Why did you tell me to make three wishes if you didn't mean it?"

"I figured you'd wish for something fun, like Disney World."

"I thought kissing was fun? Isn't that why everybody does it? Besides it's a lot cheaper," she said smiling.

"Kissing like that should be between two people who love each other."

"I love you. Don't you love me?"

"Of course I do, just not in that way."

"Why not?"

"Can we talk about something else?"

"Not until you tell me why you won't give me my first wish."

"I told you. I'm your father and fathers don't kiss their daughters romantically."

"Not even if they're dying?"

"Who said you were dying?" John had been doing everything he could to keep that information from her.

"The nurse that gives me the treatments. She said I was dying." He sighed heavily.

"She shouldn't have never mentioned that to you."

"So it's true?"

"Honey I didn't want to burden you with this, you've got enough to worry about. Just live your life like the young lady you are and let me worry about the rest. I'm going to have a talk with your doctor about that nurse!"

"I lied. She didn't tell me, you just did. I tricked you because you never tell me anything."

"Rose! That wasn't very nice of you to do that!"

"How long do I have left to live?" John took a deep breath and let out a long, extended sigh. "Please don't lie. I want to know the truth. I deserve to know."

"The doctor isn't sure. It could be a month or it could be six months. There's no way to tell."

"Oh," she said putting her head down. John moved closer, putting his arm around her and hugging her to his chest.

"I'm sorry, honey, I wish there was something I could do about it."

"I want that kiss before I die."

"Isn't there something else you want? Something more important?"

"This IS important to me, Daddy. I'm 14-years-old and I've never been kissed before. I don't want to die not knowing how it feels. Please."

John sighed once again. He could possibly pay one of the neighborhood boys to kiss her but would that satisfy her wish? Would the boy know how to kiss and would there be passion and emotion or just two sets of lips pressed together? He looked down at her glowing face.

She was very pretty, almost too pretty and he was sure that he wouldn't have to pay anyone to kiss her, they'd stand in line to do it for free. He smiled at the thought. She looks a lot like her mother and even had her auburn hair. He always said she looked like a blue-eyed Alyssa Milano when she was that age, although a little slimmer due to her illness.

"You're sure about this?"

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life. It's a big thing for a girl to have her first kiss and I don't want to die without knowing how it feels."

"Okay. Where and when?"

"Wait here. I'll get everything ready and you come up, okay?" she stated as she leapt from his arms and hastily rushed up the stairs. It's been a while since she has been this excited about something and it brought a smile to his face. It took her nearly twenty minutes before she yelled down to him from the top of the stairs. Grudgingly he turned off the computer and made his way to the top of the stairs.

"Rosie?" he called out noticing that her door was open but she wasn't in the room.

"In here, Daddy," she called back from the left. Her voice was coming his room. What was she doing in his room?" He approached his bedroom trying to see into the crack.

"What are you doing in..." he started to ask but stopped short upon pushing open the door. He too only had a mattress to sleep on and she was sitting on it wearing some of her mother's make-up and her black silk negligee. He's always meant to throw that stuff away but never could bring himself to do it.

"I'm ready, Daddy," she said smiling. The bright red lipstick simmered in the dim light and she had enough eye liner on for two women. A dozen lit candles flickered gently in the breeze and his wife's favorite song played softly on the old CD player.

"Rose what are you doing?" he asked still standing in the doorway.

"I want my first kiss to be special," she replied still smiling while patting the mattress next to her.

"Honey, I agreed to give you your first kiss, but this ... this wasn't part of the deal."

"Daddy please. I really want it to be special." John swallowed hard and stood frozen at the threshold. "Are you going to come in?" She asked reclining backwards onto the mattress, propping her small frame up on her elbows. His heart was pounding so hard in his chest that he swore it would burst out at any second. With a dry mouth and nervous hands he walked closer, standing above her with great trepidation. She reached up for him, her smile never wavering.

The music, the candles, the smells, and the inappropriate attire of his burgeoning young daughter made his head spin. How did he allow himself to be talked into this? The four beers he had earlier didn't help as it lowered his inhibitions. Never in a million years would he have agreed to do this if it wasn't a request from his dying daughter.

"Uh, you're sure, right?" He asked. She nodded. "No one can know about this. I mean I could get into a lot of trouble and if they took you away from me I don't know what I'd do."

"No one will ever find out, I promise. I just want to have a special first kiss," she said grinning. Swallowing hard he lowered himself to the bed, lying beside her. She took his hand and placed it around her shoulder and snuggled into his chest.

"I like it when you hold me like this." He grimaced before rubbing her shoulder.

"I guess we should get this over with," he said breaking their embrace.

"Don't be like that, Daddy! It's supposed to be special, not like a business deal or something!"

"Okay, honey, I'm sorry," he replied kissing her cheek.

Her entire life he's kissed her everywhere on her face except her lips. She's never had the experience of being kissed by anyone on the lips before and she was eager to find out how it felt. Falling backward she stared up at him hovering above her. She was excited but nervous.

Lowering his face he pressed his lips to hers, shutting his eyes in order to conceal the fact it was his own daughter he was kissing. Her lips were soft and willing but inexperienced and he wasn't enthusiastic about kissing her. Awkwardly they kissed for nearly a minute before she pushed him away.

"It's not special," she huffed looking up at him. "Not like in the movies."

"Honey movies aren't always reality."

"Let's try it again but this time kiss me like they do in the movies." Sighing he returned his lips to hers and continued. Trying to push aside the fact who he was kissing, he thought about his wife, Terry. She loved kissing and was very passionate about doing it. Pressing the tip of his tongue into her mouth, she gasped once it rubbed against hers and clamped her lips hard around it. God how he missed Terry.

Mechanically his right hand went to the left side of her face and his left hand found its way under her head, pulling her slightly off the mattress. She moaned into his mouth as their embrace intensified. Her lips were no longer wet noodles as she returned his kiss, at times even pushing her tongue into his mouth. It was his turn to moan. She pulled away and gasped.

"Oh Daddy I'm tingling all over," she moaned before pulling his face back to hers. With their lips intertwined and their tongues gently caressing each other she finally understood everyone fussed about kissing.

He suddenly froze as he had an unexpected reaction to the tenderness. It had been over four years since he was last intimate with his wife and there has been no one since. There just wasn't any time and now with Rose being sick, the thought never crossed his mind. Slowly the sleeping dragon awoke from its hibernation and he felt it uncoiling within the confines of his briefs. Quickly he pulled away, startling her.

"Daddy, what's wrong?" she asked sitting up. "Did I do something wrong?" He struggled to catch his breath and fought to think of what to say. It was a perfectly normal reaction, but not with his own daughter.

"You didn't do anything wrong," he muttered as he stood, turning away to hide his obvious erection. Hastily he rushed into the bathroom and shut the door. His hands were shaking and he was having trouble catching his breath. Turning on the shower he undressed and stepped inside. A cold shower always helped whenever he had these urges. The icy water rained down on him until the desire was no longer present. Heating the water he took a quick shower and remained in the bathroom for several long minutes, hoping that Rose would be gone when he came out.

Wearing only a towel he slowly opened the door and peered into his bedroom. She was gone and he breathed a deep sigh of relief. Dressing in a pair of pajamas bottoms he went looking for her. He wasn't sure what he would say or how to explain what happened, but he knew she needed him right now. She's a very emotional child, always has been.

Rose was face down on her mattress, her shoulders heaving uncontrollably as he sobbed. He felt like a heel for causing her grief. Watching for a moment he went in and knelt beside her.

"Rosie," he whispered placing his hand on her back for comfort. "Are you alright?" She didn't respond but seemed to weep harder. "Sweetie, please don't cry."

"You ... hate ... me," she spoke between sniffles.

"WHAT?!? No, no, honey, I don't. What happened was my fault, not yours!"

"What did I do wrong?"

"Nothing. You did everything right, that's what the problem was."

Gradually she stopped crying and rolled over to look at him. Her face was red, her eyes wet and swollen.

"I don't understand."

"Let's just say that something happened to me, something that was MY fault happened and I had to get out of the situation."

"I still don't understand. What happened?"

Slowly he stroked her hair, brushing it away from her face. How could he explain something like that to her? She had lived a pretty sheltered life and probably wouldn't understand anyway. Swallowing hard he brushed the side of her cheek with the back of his fingers. She was so soft and lovely. Something glimmering on her chest caught his eye. It was her mother's locket and it was haphazardly resting on the lacy material of her mother's teddy.

The translucent material left little to the imagination of her breast development and her pastel pink nipples were clearly visible, albeit slightly obscured by the thin pattern. He swallowed hard and tried not to look but lost the struggle. It had been more than a year since he bought her first training bra and even though he hadn't paid much attention, about six months ago, at her request, he bought her a larger cup size. Staring down at her chest he could tell she was a healthy 'A' cup with quarter-sized areola. The nipples were firm and perk, possible still erect from their earlier session. He felt the stirrings of his loins once again and quickly turned away from her. What is happening to him?!?!

"Are you okay, Daddy?" she asked noticing how uncomfortable he suddenly became.

"Yea, um, honey, I'm fine," he mumbled, his voice cracking between words. He didn't dare stand as he wasn't wearing underwear this time and his erection would be much more noticeable, especially since the buttons on the fly were missing. The problem was he couldn't stop stealing glances of her ripening young body. He felt like a creepy pervert ogling his own daughter.

"I need to go downstairs," he muttered standing facing away from her to hide his bulge. "Want anything?"

"Can you stay here with me? Please? I always feel better when you hold me." Looking down he sighed at how much the front of his pajamas jutted outward. It had been years since he's had these feelings and he couldn't remember the last time his cock was this hard. The bad part was that it was over his own daughter!

"Um, I need to get something to drink first," he murmured as he rushed out hoping to stave off another erection. That was two in less than thirty minutes. More than he's had all month!

The front of his pajamas swayed to and fro with each step down the stairway. The rocking motion caused his cock to flop out of the opening and he quickly tucked it back in.

"I have to sew some buttons on this!" he mumbled slowing his descent to minimize the chance of it happening again. He thought of the kiss he had with Rose and smiled.

What was wrong with him? Rushing to the kitchen he filled a glass from the faucet and took several sips to try and settle his nerves. Staring at the glass he knew that he would need something stronger and opened the cabinet above the refrigerator. There stood the half empty fifth of Popov vodka semi-covered with dust. He hadn't touched the stuff since his wife died and it was one of the few things still left in the cabinet. He reached for it and poured out the water. He couldn't believe how visibly shaken he was.

Half filling the glass with vodka he gulped the burning liquor down in two sips before pouring a little more into the glass. That too was quickly gone. Staring at the bottle and noticing only an inch remaining at the bottom he brought the bottle to his mouth. It wasn't long before he began feeling the effects and wondered if he should have drank so much. Tossing the empty bottle into the trash he realized that he got what he was hoping for, his erection had gone away and his nerves were quiet. Taking a deep breath he headed for the stairs. With any luck he could soothe this over with Rose and they could just move on as father and daughter, after all, she got her first wish.

She was sitting on her mattress, her back against the wall with her knees bent and supporting her arms. Her face was obscured by her long dark hair as it rested on her forearms. He waited a moment to gather his thoughts. What was he going to say? What could he say?

"Rosie, honey," he said breaking the silence in the room. She didn't stir as he moved closer. "Is everything alright?" he asked nearly losing his footing as his head began spinning. He hadn't eaten since before the doctor's appointment and the vodka wasn't being kind. Crashing onto the mattress beside her he chuckled at how clumsy he was. Shifting to sit beside her he placed his arm around her and pulled her closer.

"What's wrong?" She remained quiet for a very long minute.

"Do you think I'm pretty?" she finally spoke.

"WHAT?!? Are you kidding? I think you're beautiful! What kind of question is that?"

"Boys don't like me."

"Rosie, boys your age don't like any girls, but in time they'll come around to see how pretty you really are."

"It will be too late by then." He sighed. She was right. That was one of the things she'd never get to experience.

"Come on, honey, you don't need that to make your life complete. There are a million other things that you can do that will be far better."

"But I want that Daddy. I need that."

"Need what exactly?"

"To feel pretty about myself."

"Honey I've told you a thousand times how beautiful you are."

"That's because you're my father and you're supposed to tell me things like that."

"That's not true, sweetie, I'd say that even if you weren't my daughter."

The room was quiet for nearly a minute as she kept her head on his chest thinking about what they talked about. He gently rubbed her back, hoping that it would make her feel better.

"You have a strong heart," she said lifting her head to see her father's face. "It's really loud."

"That's because I have so much love for you," he replied tweaking her nose.

"I've been thinking and I know what I want my second wish to be," she said smiling.

"So you're okay with the first one? Was it good enough?" She nodded.

"It was short but it was great. I had butterflies in my stomach for the longest time."

"I'm glad I made your first wish come true," he smiled. "What's the second wish?"

"I really want this one to come true."

"Let me guess, Disney World." She giggled, making him feel better about the situation. It killed him whenever she was sad or upset, especially since she had such little time remaining.

"No, it's a lot better than that and won't cost anything."

"I like it already," he joked. "What is your second wish?"

"I want to have sex."

John gasped, sending spittle down his windpipe and prompting a fit of coughing. Red-faced and sweating he continued coughing for several minutes, choking each time he tried to speak. Rose wasn't sure what to do and stared at him until his coughing came under control. He gasped a few times to draw air into his lungs and took a few deep breaths.

"Are you alright?" she asked patting him hard on the back.

"You joking about that, right?" he asked wiping the tears from his eyes. "Trying to give your old man a heart attack?"

"No. I want to have sex at least once before I die."

"That's out of the question!"

"Why?"

"Because you're too young, that's why."

"Daddy I'm dying. Doesn't that count for anything?"

"Yes it does and I want you to enjoy the time you have left but I don't think sex should be one of them."

"Why not?"

"Because you are too young!"

"You let me drink a beer. Aren't I too young to do that?" He couldn't reply. She was right, but the alcohol was clouding his thoughts. Finally an answer came to his jumbled mind.

"Sex should be between two people who love each other and not taken casually."

"We love each other, right?"

"No, no, no, Rose, don't even go there. Kissing was one thing, this is totally different!"

"Why?"

"Because I'm your father and fathers don't have sex with their daughters!"

"Not even if they want to?"

"Not even then."

"What if they only have a few months left to live and they want to experience what it feels like?"