Chapter 6

Before they went any further, Elizabeth summoned a robe.

Ceiling obliged.

"Put this on," she said.

He had to stand to do it. The robe was obviously too short.

"Take that off," she demanded. Looking at the ceiling, she repeated her request. "And it had better be calf length or I'll know the reason why."

"You are NO fun at all," said the ceiling.

"I'm trying to keep my job ... you keep dressing John like that and we'll never get anything important done," she said. "One thing," she looked directly at it ... it popped up and said HI, What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?... "Will lead to another and My implant expired 10 years ago ... and we know where that'll lead.

"A nice thick fuzzy terrycloth robe long enough to cover the important bits when he's sitting down, thank you very much ... NOW!"

Ceiling presented a brilliant orange, yellow, red paisley sort of thing.

"WHITE!!" shouted Elizabeth, and slapped the desk.

"One white bathrobe coming up," said the ceiling ... actually ... it was coming down. "Poetic License," he said.

"The files," said Elizabeth... "And no kibitzing."

The first three choices slapped down on the desk. The folders were thin. A simple Résumé listing schools attended, degrees acquired, positions obtained, hobbies ... now that was interesting. Hobbies; every single one of the three had listed Chaos as a hobby:

Survival on Chaos.

Fighting on Chaos.

Smithy built swords.

The psychology of the Chaos male.

The laws of Chaos.

Chaos Money.

Chaosian Banking.

Farming, forestry, fishing.

"These girls know about all this?"

"Not all of them know everything," said Elizabeth, "We can make this very simple," and she took out the photograph of the first contestant.

"As soon as you choose you can quiz whoever about her hobbies."

He took one look and shut his eyes. The one eyed monster drooled.

"Can't talk to them first?"

"No," she was adamant, " ... it's in the rulebook."

"There's a rulebook?"

She mumbled, "I shoulda known better."

"What?"

"I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER!!" she said.

"Rulebook please," John said to the ceiling.

The ceiling was strangely silent and dropped no items.

"You have to know which one," hinted Liz.

"Book of Rules for Hero's Caretaker," said John.

"No," said the ceiling.

"No?" asked John.

"You have to be a Caretaker to see the book."

John leaned back in his chair ... it creaked. "Rules for a Hero," he said.

"You're not a Hero until you have a Caretaker," said the ceiling.

"What can I read without a Caretaker?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"Nothing important," said the ceiling.

"What do you have?"

On the desk, directly in front of John appeared about six feet of Travel Brochures extolling the virtues of Cassandra and its scenic beauties. The same kind of drivel one finds at Official Border Rest Areas in the United States. Crap ... crap ... and more crap designed to separate Jon Doe Traveler from his Traveler's Checks as fast as possible.

"Nothing about Hero work?"

"You're not a Hero until you have a Caretaker," said the ceiling.

"Can I choose Elizabeth?"

An unseen door opened and the committee tumbled out.

"No ... she is past her prime. Look here, young man. We have rules ... the rules say you can't do anything until you have a Caretaker."