Chapter 8

Timepiece:8.

The number one cause of divorce is weddings. If one never gets married there is no possibility of divorce. I realize that the idea is stupid ... but sometimes it IS necessary to explain things to some people ... like me. I did it twice. My father used to say, "You fool me once? Shame on you! You fool me twice? Shame on me!" He said that a lot.

Supposing one did get married ... like my first time.

The number two cause is the reception.

That's when you meet the child molesters and porn stars, my newly acquired brother in law. Not my wife's brother ... no ... her sister's husband. He happened to be both. Molester AND porn star ... which brings us to the funny uncle.

I'd rather not talk about that.

The crazy aunts; in this case they're my sisters in law. Bat shit crazy ... all four of them ... but the youngest one decided I should be married to her ... and she was truly cute. Even though I no longer have the first wife ... they are still my children's aunts.

I am beginning to see that the next category is redundant; the perverts and the preverts.

I met the borrowers and the beggars. One borrower wanted the money he gave us for our wedding gift back ... but don't tell his wife because it was the rent money. I rolled my eyes.

The black sheep and the bad penny, the drunks and the addicts, and the preachers. Funny ... that's my father in law. All four of the last categories ... in one.

He got in a fight with my best man over who was the best man.

He took a swing at me because I got her before he did.

And he was the beggar.

"I'm really hurting right now, can I borrow..."

"No," I interrupted, "You haven't paid me back. You fool me once? Shame on you! You fool me twice? Shame on me!" I sound like my Dad.

So ... the suggestion that I might be cannon fodder in a second marriage? She is cute ... and I do lust.

Now that we're passably wealthy ... not rich, mind you ... but comfortable. I decided to study up on the latest innovations in hardware and systems. I liked being the IT go to guy.

The weirdness started soon after we removed from Pentwater and settled in back in Lansing. I had just settled into computer classes at LCC (Lansing Community College) when Wendy decided we needed to move back to Saint Johns. She didn't have any friends in Lansing.

The friends she did have were all 14 and 15 years old and in Saint Johns. Due to the nastiness (murders) last semester, the mothers didn't feel comfortable allowing their daughters to go to Lansing. Besides ... that Wendy was 14 and this one ... who did look like a grown Wendy ... was 18 and had papers to match.

I had a bad feeling about this. I didn't want to live with Wendy's parents ... I'm sure they felt the same. But, I didn't want her living at home without me.

Mom and Dad still thought of Wendy as a newly minted teen ... even though she was incontrovertibly an 18 year old sex bomb ... just what I needed. Parents.

But ... she's my baby ... and if she's not happy, I can guarantee I won't be happy. Besides ... there's all this money ... and I still don't have a job ... I have a really bad feeling and it's getting worse. The first day she invited her young friends over ... not a good idea.

I am signatory to the bank account.

"Wendy?"

"Yes?"

"I'm very uncomfortable with this."

"I can see that. So am I."

Like twins, we said, "They're so young."

"Wendy, they're three and four years younger than you ... in a few years, that won't mean a thing ... but right now?" I said, "What did you talk about when you were their age?"

"Boys ... and ... uh ... boys ... and who was going with who and why they weren't madly in love with last weeks boy, and who grew bigger tits over the summer and isn't she a cow ... now." She panicked for a moment, "Their music sucks ... they don't have a clue ... God David, I don't have anything in common with them."

"Well?"

"I don't know!"

"I'm going to the bank, wanna come?"

"What for?"

"There's a piece of property half way to Lansing on East Price Road. The family that owned it died and the heirs want nothing to do with it. It's between Price and Centerline and Chandler and St Claire... 1280 plus acres. They want to sell it all of a piece instead of all to pieces.

"There's several kettle lakes and Price Road is on a terminal moraine, probably deposited during an interstadial between glacials ... anyway the whole area is a glacial depression in rebound. Must have been a pretty good sized lake in front of a glacial retreat."