Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
This group is compliments of Unclepodger
A woman went to the doctor for advice. She told him that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she was not sure that it was such a good idea.
“Do you enjoy it?” the doctor asked.
“Actually, yes I do,” She answered.
“Does it hurt you?” he asked.
“No, I rather like it,” she responded.
“Well, then,” the doctor continued, “There’s no reason that you shouldn’t practice anal sex, if that’s what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant.
The woman was mystified. “What? You can get pregnant from anal sex?”
“Of course,” the doctor replied. “Where do you think people like Chuck Schumer, Nancy Pelosi, Elizabeth Warren, Barbara Boxster, Hillary Clinton, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, and Al Sharpton came from?”
I’M STILL LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A man was having premature ejaculation problems so he went to the doctor. The doctor said, “When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself.”
That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol and ran home to his wife.
That night the two were having sex and found themselves in the 69 position. The man felt the urge to ejaculate and fired the starter pistol.
The next day he went back to the doctor who asked how it went. The man answered, “Not well. When I fired the pistol, my wife pooped on my face, bit three inches off my penis, and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air.
This one is compliments of attila i.
This farmer has about 200 hens, but no rooster...
And he wants chicks. So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster. The other farmer says, “yeah, I’ve got this great rooster, named Randy; he’ll service every chicken you’ve got. No problem”
Well, Randy the rooster is a lot of money, but the farmer decides he’d be worth it. so, he buys Randy. The farmer takes Randy home and sets him down in the barnyard, giving the rooster a pep talk, “Randy, I want you to pace yourself now. You’ve got a lot of chickens to service here and you cost me a lot of money, and I’ll need you to do a good job. So, take your time and have some fun,” the farmer said with a chuckle.
Randy seemed to understand, so the farmer points towards the hen house and Randy takes off like a shot ~WHAM~ He nails every hen in there THREE or FOUR times and the farmer is just shocked.
Randy runs out of the hen house and sees a flock of geese down by the lake ~WHAM~ he gets all the geese.
Randy’s up in the pigpen.
He’s in with the cows.
Randy is jumping on every animal the farmer owns.