Jokes and Giggles
Chapter 934

Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt

This is compliments of A. von W

Murphy’s Law of Sex

  1. The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.

  2. Nothing improves with age.

  3. No matter how many times you’ve had it, if it’s offered take it, because it’ll never be quite the same again.

  4. Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

  5. There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

  6. Sex appeal is 50% of what you’ve got and 50% what people think you’ve got.

  7. Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.

  8. A man in the house is worth two in the street.

  9. If you get them by the balls their hearts and minds will follow.

  10. Virginity can be cured.

  11. Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.

  12. The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can’t stand years later.

  13. Sex is dirty only if it’s done right

  14. It is always the wrong time of the month.

  15. When the lights are out all woman are beautiful.

  16. Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won’t either.

  17. Sow your wild oats on saturday night--then on sunday pray for crop failure.

  18. The younger the better.

  19. Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.

  20. Before you find your handsome prince, you’ve got to kiss a lot of frogs.

  21. Love your neighbour, but don’t get caught.

  22. If the effort that went in research on the female busom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot dog stands on the moon.

  23. Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.

  24. Sex is a three letter word that needs some old fashioned four letter words to convey it’s full meaning.

  25. One good turn gets most of the blankets.

  26. You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine woman.

  27. Thou shalt not commit adultery ... Unless in the mood.

  28. Abstain from wine, women and song, mostly song.

  29. Never argue with a woman when she’s tired or rested.

  30. A woman never forgets the man she could have had; a man, the women he couldn’t.

  31. What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.

  32. It is better to be looked over than overlooked.

  33. Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.

  34. A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.

  35. Love comes in spurts.

  36. Don’t do it if you can’t keep it up.

  37. Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.

  38. This won’t hurt i promise!

Finally, the guys side of the story.

We always hear “the rules” from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note, these are all numbered “1” ON PURPOSE!

#1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

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