Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
These are compliments of @C Jokes.
A Beautiful Woman Loves Growing Tomatoes
A beautiful woman loves to garden, but can’t seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. She asks her neighbor, “What do you do to get your tomatoes red?” He replies, “Twice a day I stand in front of my tomato garden and expose myself. My tomatoes turn red from blushing so much.” The woman decides to do the same thing. So twice a day for two weeks she exposes herself to the garden. Her neighbor asks, “How did it go? Did you tomatoes turn red?” “No,” she replies, “but my cucumbers are enormous.”
What do West Virginians call a pretty woman?
That’s a Woman’s Job
One day, Farmer Brown went behind his barn and found to his dismay that his son, Jeb, was jerking off. He vowed to his son that he was going to help him find a wife, so he would not have to be doing this. Sure enough, the father was able to find a suitable bride just right down the road and the couple was married shortly thereafter. Six weeks later the farmer was again going behind the barn and caught his son vigorously jerking off. The farmer went berzerk. “Why are you still doing this, why aren’t you with your wife?” “Aw Paw,” said the son, “Her little old arm gets so tired.”