Jokes and Giggles
Chapter 867

Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt

These are compliments of J & B

The 5 Riddles

THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST FIVE RIDDLES I HAVE SEEN.

THE ANSWERS ARE AT THE BOTTOM.

RIDDLE 5 IS AMAZING.

IT SHARPENS THOSE GENES IN YOUR BRAIN AND STALLS ALZHEIMER’S FOR YEARS.

  1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns and the third is full of lions that haven’t eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?

  2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?

  3. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away?

  4. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Wednesday, Friday, or Sunday?

  5. This is an unusual paragraph. I’m curious as to just how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinary and plain that you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is highly unusual though. Study it and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out. Try to do so without any coaching!

THE ANSWERS TO ALL FIVE THE RIDDLES ARE BELOW:

Answers:

  1. The third room. Lions that haven’t eaten in three years are dead. That one was easy, right?

  2. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry (shot; held under water; and hung).

  3. Charcoal, as it is used in barbecuing.

  4. Sure you can name three consecutive days, yesterday, today, and tomorrow!

  5. The letter “e” which is the most common letter used in the English language does not appear even once in the paragraph.

I’ll be getting Alzheimer’s any time now.

How did you do?


Mind Grabbers...

Jet lag is nature’s way of making you look like your passport photo.

We have a strange custom in our office. The food has names here. Yesterday, for example, I grabbed a sandwich out of the fridge and its name was “Michael.”

I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.

Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

A Sunday school teacher asked a little boy, “you know what happens to little boys who use bad language when they play marbles?”

“Oh yes,” the boy replied. “They grow up and play golf.”


This one is compliments of Attila I

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, “This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!” So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies — two in the front seat and three in the back – eyes wide and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, “Officer, I don’t understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?”

“Ma’am,” the officer replies, “You weren’t speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers.”

“Slower than the speed limit?” she asked. “No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly ... Twenty-Two miles an hour!” the old woman says a bit proudly.

The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that “22” was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.

“But before I let you go, Ma’am, I have to ask ... Is everyone in this car ok? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven’t muttered a single peep this whole time.” the officer asks.

“Oh, they’ll be alright in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119.”

 
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