Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
These are compliments of Allan B.
An anthropologist heard of a tribe in the center of New Guinea who followed the English legal tradition, so he went to investigate. After a trek of a month he finally reached the tribe. He conversed with the chief, and asked how it happened that they followed English law. The chief explained that once a month a plane flew over the village and dropped a load of London Times, and they followed what was written in the newspaper.
In fact, the chief said, there’s court the following day, and would the anthropologist like to watch? Of course he agreed.
The following day, was court. The judge sat upon a dais in his loincloth wearing a white wig. The twelve jurors sat in the jurybox in their loincloths as well. Indeed, all the cases were following English law, but one thing perplexed the anthropologist. Periodically, a man covered in scarves would walk around and feel the breasts of all the women there.
When the day was over, the chief asked the anthropologist if they were following English law exactly. The anthropologist replied that they did, but couldn’t understand about the man in the scarves.
The Chief said, “Well we don’t understand it either, but it’s clearly part of English law.”
“What?” exploded the anthropologist? “Where did you get that?”
The chief pulled out the London Times and showed him what was written... “From time to time, a muffled titter passed through the courtroom”.
A guy has a blind date with a girl and they go to a carnival. “What would you like to do first?” said the man. “I want to get weighed,” said the girl. So they went over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale and it said 117. So she won a prize. Next, the couple went on the Ferris wheel. When they finished the ride, the man again asked the girl what she would like to do. “I want to get weighed,” she again responded. So they went back to the weight guesser, and since they were there before, he guessed her correct weight and she won nothing. The couple walked around some more and again the guy asked her what she wanted to do. Again, “Get weighed!” The guy figured she was really weird and dropped her off early with just a handshake. The girl went inside and her roommate asked her. “How did it go?” The girl responded, “Wousy”
You must read these with an inquiring mind:
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church Please use large double door at the side entrance.
The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: “I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.”
Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.