Jokes and Giggles
Chapter 799

Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt

Retirement

I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.

I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

The biggest lie I tell myself is...”I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.”

Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?

Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice.

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